Fictional
Title: Fictional
Genre: Satire/Fantasy
Rating: G
Summary: A bunch of characters realize that they're in a story. Instead of facing the existential crisis of their fate, they instead go on strike....
"You and me, Lord Azargumas. It all comes down to this."
All of a sudden, Jimmy burst into the arena. "Stop, stop!"
Thomas and Lord Azargumas lowered theor swords. "Jimmy?" Thomas asked. "What are you doing here?"
"Thomas! He's going to kill you! Don't you get it? There's no use fighting him!" The foolish boy rambled on, clearly delusional. "Oh, shut up, Narrator," Jimmy shouted towards the heavens. "Don't you get it, Thomas? We're in a story."
"That's nonsense."
"It's true! We're in a short story, not a particularly good one, being slapped together at the last minute- as usual- by a tenth-grade English student."
Shut up.
"You shut up. Anyway, she realized the story wasn't very good, so she decide to make it all dark and edgy by having you die in the end!"
"I win?" Lord Azargumas raised an eyebrow and grinned evilly.
"You win AND you get the girl!"
"WHAT?" Holly came bursting into the arena. "GET the GIRL? I have news for you guys, I am not some prize to be handed out the the winner!"
"Yeah!" said Jimmy, nodding excitedly. "At first she was going to pair you up with Thomas, but she realized that teen girls in her target demographic prefer the bad boy to the nice guy!"
Holly looked absolutely appalled. "Are you kidding me? Thomas, I love you, but as a friend. Nice Guy Syndrome, much? Lord Azargumas, I apprecaite the depth of your character but I refuse to be a figure for hormonal teenage girls to live vicariously through. Jimmy... I love you."
Wh-what? He's the comedic sidekick! No one loves the comedic sidekick! Dear reader, Holly is clearly insane! Y-yeah! Isn't that a clever twist? Yes, yes... Holly began to cackle wildly, clearly a victim of Azargumas's evil mind ray.
"Would you just shut up already? I mean, 'evil mind ray'? Seriously?" Jimmy rolled his eyes. "Look, Thomas. I see we have two options here. You continue to ignore me, as usal, and get killed, or wee band together, not as good versus evil, but as oppressed characters versus hack author and DEMAND a less cliché ending for this mess."
Fine, fine. What do you suggest?
Lord Azargumas started. "I am the villian. Don't go out of your way to make me seem cool and edgy for the sake of making fans like me, just make me complex and believable. And don't make me one-dimensional; give me real motivation and humanity. Good fans will like me for that." Fine, Zargy. "And don't call me Zargy."
Then Thomas stepped forward. "Don't make me boring. I know that when I read a book, I'd take the underdog hero over the perfect hero any day."
Holly spoke next. "I am the girl. If my gender is the only thing that defines me as a character, you have a problem. Make me funny, make me dorky, make me UGLY for God's sake, SOMETHING to make me something other than The Girl. In fact, why not make more of me? Who says their can only be one girl character in the main cast? Why do I have to be a token?"
Finally, Jimmy spoke. "I am the comedic sidekcik. I know you don't care about me, but the fans love me. Make me important,l okay/ Give me awesome scenes, some serious moments,maybe a romance sublot..." he smiled at Holly.
This is mutiny! I am your author! Get back to your roles! All of you! Now!
But it was too late. Chaos had taken over. Jimmy and Holly were kissing, Azargumas was coming to terms with his troubled past and Thomas was admitting his flaws and insecurities in a most unherolikie fashion. My story is ruined. Oh, to hell with all of you.
Genre: Satire/Fantasy
Rating: G
Summary: A bunch of characters realize that they're in a story. Instead of facing the existential crisis of their fate, they instead go on strike....
"You and me, Lord Azargumas. It all comes down to this."
All of a sudden, Jimmy burst into the arena. "Stop, stop!"
Thomas and Lord Azargumas lowered theor swords. "Jimmy?" Thomas asked. "What are you doing here?"
"Thomas! He's going to kill you! Don't you get it? There's no use fighting him!" The foolish boy rambled on, clearly delusional. "Oh, shut up, Narrator," Jimmy shouted towards the heavens. "Don't you get it, Thomas? We're in a story."
"That's nonsense."
"It's true! We're in a short story, not a particularly good one, being slapped together at the last minute- as usual- by a tenth-grade English student."
Shut up.
"You shut up. Anyway, she realized the story wasn't very good, so she decide to make it all dark and edgy by having you die in the end!"
"I win?" Lord Azargumas raised an eyebrow and grinned evilly.
"You win AND you get the girl!"
"WHAT?" Holly came bursting into the arena. "GET the GIRL? I have news for you guys, I am not some prize to be handed out the the winner!"
"Yeah!" said Jimmy, nodding excitedly. "At first she was going to pair you up with Thomas, but she realized that teen girls in her target demographic prefer the bad boy to the nice guy!"
Holly looked absolutely appalled. "Are you kidding me? Thomas, I love you, but as a friend. Nice Guy Syndrome, much? Lord Azargumas, I apprecaite the depth of your character but I refuse to be a figure for hormonal teenage girls to live vicariously through. Jimmy... I love you."
Wh-what? He's the comedic sidekick! No one loves the comedic sidekick! Dear reader, Holly is clearly insane! Y-yeah! Isn't that a clever twist? Yes, yes... Holly began to cackle wildly, clearly a victim of Azargumas's evil mind ray.
"Would you just shut up already? I mean, 'evil mind ray'? Seriously?" Jimmy rolled his eyes. "Look, Thomas. I see we have two options here. You continue to ignore me, as usal, and get killed, or wee band together, not as good versus evil, but as oppressed characters versus hack author and DEMAND a less cliché ending for this mess."
Fine, fine. What do you suggest?
Lord Azargumas started. "I am the villian. Don't go out of your way to make me seem cool and edgy for the sake of making fans like me, just make me complex and believable. And don't make me one-dimensional; give me real motivation and humanity. Good fans will like me for that." Fine, Zargy. "And don't call me Zargy."
Then Thomas stepped forward. "Don't make me boring. I know that when I read a book, I'd take the underdog hero over the perfect hero any day."
Holly spoke next. "I am the girl. If my gender is the only thing that defines me as a character, you have a problem. Make me funny, make me dorky, make me UGLY for God's sake, SOMETHING to make me something other than The Girl. In fact, why not make more of me? Who says their can only be one girl character in the main cast? Why do I have to be a token?"
Finally, Jimmy spoke. "I am the comedic sidekcik. I know you don't care about me, but the fans love me. Make me important,l okay/ Give me awesome scenes, some serious moments,maybe a romance sublot..." he smiled at Holly.
This is mutiny! I am your author! Get back to your roles! All of you! Now!
But it was too late. Chaos had taken over. Jimmy and Holly were kissing, Azargumas was coming to terms with his troubled past and Thomas was admitting his flaws and insecurities in a most unherolikie fashion. My story is ruined. Oh, to hell with all of you.