Must Love Girls [Part Four]
Title: Must Love Girls [Part Four]
Pairing(s): TaengSic
Rating/Genre: PG-13; Girl-Meets-Dog-And-Girl
Disclaimer: I don’t own Soshi. I don’t own anyone, in fact. All Fiction.
Chap. Summary: Taeyeon gets the one-on-one she’s been wanting…kinda.
Author’s Notes: Kay, gays. I have good news and bad news! Bad news: from the looks of things, there might be seven parts instead of six! Good news: I’ll sleep deprive myself to do it! Wait. Switch those.
Can't wait to hear from y'all!
✽ ✽ ✽
Taeyeon felt okay.
Not amazing, not meh. Okay, all right, fair. Alive. Able to tackle everyday problems with humble aplomb.
Which was, in itself, a victory.
No wonder the anti-depression industry boomed, Taeyeon thought while punching a ‘3’ to Jessica’s apartment floor. The elevator doors closed, blurrily reflecting her meticulously crafted outfit of the day: pleated shorts, breezy oxford blouse, navy ribbons in her pigtails, and her trusty Keds. She’d been shelving effort into her appearance for a couple of weeks, since the radically uncomfortable movie night.
After that evening of doing everything Jessica’s way, she warned Taeyeon about dating, a change that could strain their dear Thursday nights. A gracious move, on her part.
Seriously, Lennon’s owner was a sophisticated, sociable career woman with a kickass future ahead of her. Relationships tended to be the inevitable next phase. And where would that place Kim Taeyeon, a weepy nobody, for (assumedly) a revolving door of eligible men? It eluded her how she’d buried a nook into Jessica’s weekly schedule, but weirder things have happened.
Silver lining: the playdate invites endured. Recently, twice a week-without any more forced coffee shop detours or heart-stopping thrillers. Jessica withdrew to what Taeyeon believed to be the less stressful option: an indifferent, text-y chaperone who tapped her casually pricey shoes impatiently.
Taeyeon’s money went into two presents. In one hand, a packaged Nylabone. In the other, a red replacement for the yellow ball Lennon finally defeated. Taeyeon chuckled, recalling his confused look (head tilt and all) when it hissed to a lemon-y heap.
He wasn’t Diglett. But damnit, close enough.
She’d chosen the mature route, Taeyeon reminded herself. To not burden Jessica into thinking them obligated to explore their friendship. That way, Taeyeon’s off-work hours could revolve around her bat-eared charmer again and Jessica could build a life with a worthwhile lover. For marriage, baby-making, mortgages-all the shit Taeyeon once dreamt of for herself.
Dimly, she accepted a touch of...butthurtedness over some douchey, equally attractive businessman making Jessica his plus-one to top-dollar luncheons, politician friends’ weddings-Taeyeon propped her forehead on the coolness of the apartment door, envisioning more fancy events-and schmoozey cocktail hours with private jet collectors. Such a provider suited women like Jessica Jung. Not Kim Taeyeon, an underpaid desk jockey who rolled in dirt.
The red toy contracted within her grasp like a stress ball.
“Let Jessica move on,” Taeyeon whispered, barely past lipping the statement. “She’s too good for you. And straight.”
“Door’s unlocked!” called a chipper voice after her first knock. Taeyeon examined the tuck of her blouse and decided to toe out her shoes in advance. Jessica’s house had a maid-grade sparkle; one wouldn’t assume any living organism resided there, save a rambunctious Corgi mix. So, since her Keds were non-negotiable, she dressed nicely. It symbolized gratitude for hijacking the dog every few days.
Also, she grew used to Jessica admiring her clothes. Might as well keep it chic.
Lennon welcomed Taeyeon at the door in hind-legged hops, but the pungent aroma of tomato, basil, and various spices tracked her nose to the kitchen. There, Jessica rinsed the last of her dishes before turning around to smile. “Hey, Taeyeon. How are you spoiling Lens this evening?”
She’d almost forgotten the doggy items in her hands. “Chew bone. Ball.”
Jessica extracted her hands from rubber gloves, quickly applying moisturizer afterward.
Taeyeon remembered holding those hands.
“You’re cooking,” she stated the obvious, nodding to the oven. “What’s the occasion?”
“A date,” Jessica answered. Too matter-of-factly. As if she’d recited her birthday or a mildly interesting anecdote from work.
Taeyeon deposited the new ball in Jessica’s bowl of knick-knacks and leaned onto the kitchen counter, elbows out. “Oh yeah?”
She copied Taeyeon’s position on the other side. Eyes holding challenge, if Taeyeon wasn’t imagining things. “Mmhm. Our third.”
“Date three already.” Of fucking course Jessica moved on faster than she’d predicted. Everyone moved faster than Taeyeon; her ex certainly reminded her. Disturbed that her ex-girlfriend sprung into mind, she asked, “It’s getting serious, then?”
“We’re having fun.”
Fun? What in the hell was fun? Shows? Make outs? Sex? “And that entails?”
“I thought we could relax here instead of a restaurant,” Jessica muttered, twisting and untwisting the moisturizer cap. “My sister sent two bottles of Zinfandel that’d go perfectly with our meal. We’ll eat well, drink all we want, and let whatever happens...happen.” Her gaze flicked up to meet Taeyeon’s. “You’re turning red. Are you a prude?”
“N-no. No.” Taeyeon slammed the Nylabone to the counter as an exclamation point. “Curious, is all.”
“That’s a relief.”
“How’d you two meet?”
“Same office, different departments,” Jessica rattled off as if she’d told the story to a million busybodies prior. “Seohyun’s one of those sexy, relentless financial sharks. When she sets a goal...”
Taeyeon never had an out-of-body experience. Until now.
The rest of this explanation no longer mattered. Every other word in their collective lexicons no longer mattered. Because Jessica said, ‘she’.
She.
She.
Jessica went on dates and presumably had sex with women. Female women!
Why was her pulse accelerating as if this were a game changer?
Aware of natural reflexes, Taeyeon schooled her facial tics during the tail end of the spiel. Something about team-building meetings. “When’s she coming over?”
“Eight-fifteen-Oh!” Jessica jumped into order, eyeing a loose silver wristwatch in the knick-knack bowl. “I’ll need every minute to beautify myself. Do you mind taking Lennon out on your own?”
This would’ve sounded like paradise twenty minutes ago. Taeyeon vacantly nodded, reaching for the ball to stress-squeeze out of Jessica’s sight. “You trust me that much?”
“Of course. I doubt you’re crazy enough to steal or eat him.”
Taeyeon feigned a chuckle. Her stomach tossed mercilessly, to go from so high to so low in such a short period. “It’d be my pleasure.”
“Be back by eight o’clock?”
In a daze, she attached the leash to a jumpy Lennon’s collar. Under her breath, she growled, “Wouldn’t want to bump into your little sex fix of the night.”
But, Jessica didn’t hear. She’d already vanished into her bedroom.
...
Uninhibited time alone with Lennon put an uptick to Taeyeon’s mood. Just a tick or two. Cotton-y clouds decorated a blue, blue sky and the heat didn’t swelter. An idyllic afternoon, theoretically.
Lennon’s enthusiasm eclipsed the energy Taeyeon put into a dozen half-hearted tosses. His wiggling butt, fervent yelps, and spin-cycle antics earned proper laughs. At least, she pretended they sounded sincere. She couldn’t let some dumb date botch her day.
Taeyeon pumped more energy into her throws. Almost to the point of dislodging her shoulder from its socket, which would do no-one any favors. These activities should’ve freed her brain of petty jealousy and phantoms of the past.
It didn’t.
After some portable dish hydration and a bathroom break, Lennon lay at Taeyeon’s feet, gnawing happily on his brand new Nylabone.
“Acknowledge reality and cut the moping short,” she upbraided herself. Noticeably slouching on one of the same benches Jessica frequented. “Damn, she’s possessed me.”
Something like that.
The sharp scratching and huffs of Lennon plundering the bone soothed her, reminded her that he was present and safe. Taeyeon twisted the leather leash material between her palms, allowing herself to drift off. To a place she’d avoided. Well, until Jessica slipped her gentle fingers through Taeyeon’s and into a load of concealed emotions.
“Hey, Digs,” she spoke to the teething dog. This was how she’d humor herself-by calling him what she’d wanted since Day One. “Your Jessica has nice hands.”
With fine bones that tenderly flexed to accommodate the eventual fatigue of long-term handholding. The rose scent had wrapped around Taeyeon’s neck, choking her with...
She pressed the heel of a palm to her forehead. “No, please.”
Excitement. Jessica excited her both physically and emotionally. And fuck, she lost the invisible can’t-crush-on-a-straight-girl safety net. That tidy, snarky demeanor intrigued Taeyeon. Whether awkwardly hovering until it was time to go home or lounging on that very park bench, eyes shaded by sunglasses and thumbs on phone. Taeyeon pilfered glimpses often, when Jessica obliviously engrossed herself in time-killing.
In the somewhat comforting darkness, with Jessica’s head propped on her shoulder and their fingers twined into one, Taeyeon missed the pleasure of intimacy. Jesus, she’d felt her body reacting beneath her bra cups.
She needed a reality check. Hadn’t she accepted ‘couple life’ as a closed chapter?
“My ex-girlfriend was controlling.”
Lennon continued chewing, as if he didn’t fully catch the enormity of this confession.
“Because of her, I lost friends and a lot of family.” Taeyeon swiped at her wet cheek, morose. “I lost myself...I take responsibility. I let her. Finding love gave me a purpose in this stupid world. Our bond and my identity became one and the same.”
Taeyeon bent down to stroke where Diglett’s cape coloring would be. “She wanted to take you away, too. You were my only win in that breakup.”
Kim Taeyeon: left with a Corgi-Aussie and a fractured spirit.
“I bet Jessica can be quite the heartbreaker,” she mused, imagining what’d transpire if she’d had a complete character shift and initiated a kiss on movie night.
Goosebumps rose on her arms.
“Diglett?”
Lennon grunted and Taeyeon giggled. Again, close enough.
“I’m gay. Don’t know if I ever came out to you. I suppose you could assume from me and your other...ex-mommy kissing on the lips.” This reminiscence brought a proper frown to Taeyeon’s lips. “Never fall in love, little man.”
Fifteen minutes crawled by like this. Of Taeyeon speaking to her dear Diglett’s stand-in. Of dissected Jessica’s every word, her every nuance. A few of times, she bounced the red ball at her feet, hoping to coax her playmate into a game. And she was plainly rejected for a bone.
...
“Back already?” Jessica questioned, parting the door for the two to enter. Taeyeon hung her head low, contrite of this wasted opportunity.
“Yeah, we-”
Taeyeon stalled. At first, because of the smell. Not only the rich aroma of Italian seasoning wafting through the room. This new one was more citrus than rose and stronger altogether, costlier. Then, when she craned her head to say so, a provocative cut of fabric sent a javelin through her lungs.
A little black dress. Nothing extra risqué, though obviously high-end, stopping mid-thigh. At the top-no sleeves with a teardrop-shaped sliver conveniently missing at the cleavage. Suddenly, Jessica’s sternum and all its teasing, soft availability toppled Taeyeon’s reply into babbling rubble. Incredibly sexy, even if the word ‘sternum’ wasn’t.
“Is this dress a hit, Taengoo?”
She flushed at the nickname, embarrassed for a host of reasons. “Wish I could fill out a dress like you do.”
“Hm,” Jessica padded back into the kitchen, fluidly swaying her slight curves. “Possibly not this dress, but I’m certain you could find a way into my pants.”
Did she just-
Scandalized, Taeyeon flattened a hand at to chest, effectively releasing Lennon. “Huh?”
Jessica collapsed on a counter stool, giggling like a girl a third of her age. “I knew it! You are a prude!”
“Am not!”
“You are. Therefore, I shouldn’t flirt with you.”
“I don’t...I don’t...” Know how to breathe right now? Any remotely intelligible reply slipped from her blushing grasp.
Yielding mercy, Jessica flipped the subject. “You and your boyfriend have fun?”
“Eh,” She dropped the ball back into the bowl. “Toy today sucked.”
“Aw.”
“He loves the Nylabone, though.”
“Really? More than fetch?”
“Apparently.”
Jessica twirled a finger into her hair. Only a third of it had been curled so far and it took nothing away from her appeal. “Did you dress up for him?”
“Who?”
Her eyebrow rose. “Lennon.”
“Ohhhh.” Taeyeon snorted, ducking a fist into a pleated pocket. “Um, no.”
For a full minute, Jessica studied her. Chin resting on her wrist, the other arm wrapped along her slim midsection. Contemplative, gorgeous.
Distracting herself, Taeyeon searched through Lennon’s bag, making sure she left nothing behind. “Dinner come out well?”
“Looks edible, but I haven’t tried it yet. Care to put your life on the line?”
At that, Taeyeon’s stomach rumbled. Jessica took this as a yes and situated a sample from the dish staying warm in the oven. “You can be my taste tester,” she called over her shoulder.
In the center of the plate, she’d spooned out a flattish round covered in a thick red sauce. Taeyeon lifted her brows in question.
“Eggplant parmesan,” Jessica revealed.
“This is new for me.” Regardless, she forked the whole thing into her mouth, wincing at the heat while relishing the flavor. Her eyes watered in bliss. Wasn’t carbs, but she knew ambrosia and this was it. She scraped her plate clean. “You’re an astounding cook.”
“Or the recipe astounds you.”
“How many people can’t manage that? Take the credit.” Taeyeon fidgeted through her nerves, picking up Jessica’s watch. “Your uh, your shark will probably fall in love with you at first bite.”
Double meaning.
Chuckling, a blush hit Jessica’s cheeks. “You’re exaggerating.”
“Not at all.” She backed slowly away, making a spectacle of yawning. “I should leave you to it. To your...your night.”
“Any advice?”
Dating advice? From her? Taeyeon’s teeth clamped in a mighty laugh. Or a sob. “Be proactive. Don’t be a me.”
Jessica’s smile dimmed. “You’re not hopeless, you know.”
“I miss my chances. Don’t be a me.”
And then, the brunette rushed to slide her hand into Taeyeon’s. “You aren’t disappointing nor uninteresting. I like you. A lot.”
She shook her head despite how those simple words shot right to her heart. They could sprout spikes and careen from her chest, shattering bone and skin, if given the equipment.
Alas, Jessica would be in a hot coworker’s arms in an hour or so. She’d probably spend the night.
Taeyeon collected her bag, caressed Lennon (on the floor, chewing his gift into shreds) behind the ears, and tucked into her Keds. “Jessica, don’t fret about your date. Women don’t usually look like you-more beautiful than a rose. My apologies for not saying so sooner.”
Though they’d separated, Jessica’s fingers still splayed out at her side, holding onto nothing. “Thanks for taking Lennon out.”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
With that, Taeyeon closed the door behind her.
✽ ✽ ✽
Jessica stood in the center of her living room, jaw barely brushing the floor.
Was Kim Taeyeon-Lennon-obsessed Kim Taeyeon-jealous?
Actually jealous?
“Fall in love at first bite,” she pondered aloud while returning to the kitchen. From the pantry, she scooped two heaps of more-expensive-than-human-food holistic kibble into Lennon’s empty dish. To top it off, she emptied a can of wet food as a bonus. He deserved it, after all.
Her canine roommate scrambled over to munch wildly like his wolf ancestors. She rubbed at his side with her calf, cooing, “Good boy. You’re on my team tonight.”
Lennon spared ten seconds to glance up, giving that blank stare that make dogs look empathetic and thoughtful. A goop of canned meat dangled from his jowls as his butt shook. Then, back to scarfing down his bowl. That was a ‘You’re welcome, you hopeless woman’ if Jessica had ever seen one.
She drifted to the full-length mirror in her bedroom. Sure, she looked hot. By the rambling, pink-eared reaction of Taeyeon, perhaps she needed to douse this fire a bit. Seohyun left no mystery to her intentions. And though a little action whet Jessica’s tastes for a long night, the impression of this dress might spiral their encounter into bed before a fork lifted.
Hold on. Wasn’t that what she wanted? She’d waxed, trimmed, and plucked herself clean for that distinct reason.
“Taeyeon, you’re a rude tease.” Jessica unzipped what she could reach and shimmied out of the tight fabric. “You had nothing to do with me until you saw a bit of skin and praised Pinterest food.”
Ugh, women.
Furthermore, she’d been willing change her plans for Taeyeon in that blouse and shorts. Even the pigtails, which should’ve had a cold shower effect on her adult desires, enticed Jessica to ruffle that gronde hair up. To test whether Taeyeon was as dirty as her Keds.
Jessica replayed Taeyeon’s ‘don’t be a me’ speech, curling the rest of her hair. She’d said, ‘I miss my chances.’ What chances were those? Could Jessica be delegated into this ‘missed chance’ list?
“You didn’t miss me,” she mumbled to her reflection. “Why didn’t I just ignore her weirdness and come out to her in the park?”
Instead, she scrapped with Taeyeon’s precarious boundaries.
Because Taeyeon satisfied Jessica’s romantic side.
Those micro-expressions forced Jessica to lean forward, to pay attention to detail. To lay fantasies upon the plushness of Taeyeon’s bottom lip.
“Think about your present date,” she chastised herself, buttoning on a more conservative dress. “After that, I’ll figure out what to do.”
Jessica’s phone chimed and she auto-rolled her eyes at Seohyun’s text message:
+Almost there. I’m hungry. ;)
Too forward. But, at least she spoke her mind. And hadn’t burst into tears once.
Seohyun now.
Tonight was about Seohyun.
Though, she’d rather see more of those blossoming feelings in Taeyeon’s eyes as she filled her cheeks with eggplant parmesan.
[A/N]
Omggggg I've been coughing all day. :((( Hope this edit was readable! Haha
Lookie! This dog isn't Lennon exactly, but he gives puppy Lennon ~vibes.
