About Where We're Goin'
Bang Yongguk/Kim Himchan
PG13
Angst, Fluff
Himchan is fifteen when he acknowledges his feelings for Yongguk.
about where we're goin'
Kim Himchan is seven when he meets Bang Yongguk. He’s sitting alongside of the swing set in the center of the school’s playground, digging into the dirt with the blunt end of a stick. “Watch out!” The stick snaps in two and slips from Himchan’s chubby fingers; a football lies at his feet. “Are you okay?” Himchan looks up and squints into the sunlight until a figure is blocking the rays, and his eyes focus on a boy. Himchan nods while rubbing under his nose with the back of his hand, he smears snot and dirt onto his cheek. The boy laughs and removes a tissue from his pocket, holding it out to Himchan, “You’re a mess.”
Himchan is nine when he first speaks with Yongguk. They’re seated beside each other in the library; apart from the librarian they are the only occupants. They’re in for a detention, Yongguk hadn’t done his English homework for a third time, and Himchan had pulled his classmate’s pigtail when she called him a name. “It’s alright.” Yongguk says when they first sit down, “At least she won’t do it again.” Himchan smiles bright.
Himchan is eleven when he meets Yongguk’s friends. Yongguk’s friends are cool, Himchan thinks, with their backwards baseball caps and R’nB music. They don’t really say much, but they look at him every now and then. Himchan is suddenly self-conscious of his thighs that feel a bit too tight in his school trousers, and his features that are somewhat too small for his round face. Yongguk doesn’t seem to care though, because he invites Himchan to his birthday party for the following weekend.
Himchan is thirteen when he tries alcohol at Yongguk’s house. Yongguk’s parents are gone to dinner for a date night, leaving him in the custody of his brother (who is nowhere to be found). Yongguk passes the glass bottle to Himchan, and watches him. Himchan stares at the nozzle; he can sense eyes on him and he curses himself for coming over, because of course Yongguk would’ve also invited his friends. “He won’t do it,” he hears one of them say. Himchan closes his eyes, brings the bottle to his lips and takes a swig.
Himchan is fifteen when he acknowledges his feelings for Yongguk. But, Yongguk has a girlfriend and she is everything he isn’t. She has a small waist that fits perfectly in Yongguk’s hands, and a defined face that fits perfectly in the crook of Yongguk’s neck. Himchan stares at his own reflection from the full-length mirror in his sister’s bedroom. He pinches at the baby fat gathered around his stomach.
Himchan is seventeen when he loses his virginity. He’s pressed down in the backseat of Daehyun’s car; and he arches his back and closes his eyes as Daehyun pushes inside him, filling him. Daehyun’s face is against his chest. “You’re beautiful,” he repeats between gasps as he thrusts into Himchan, and Himchan sighs in bliss because that’s all he wants to hear. In their drunken state, he knows Daehyun won’t last. His first time is awkward, and uncomfortable, and he moans Yongguk’s name when he hits his high.
Himchan is nineteen when Yongguk leaves for a foreign university. He cries when no one is around, and composes himself just in time to catch Yongguk before he boards the bus that’ll take him to the airport, that’ll take him away. Himchan hugs him, and Yongguk’s hands find their way to Himchan’s waist, and he holds him tight; a perfect fit. Himchan bites back the tears.
Himchan is twenty-one when he meets Hyosung. She’s a new employee at the bakery, and Himchan is called in to train her. Hyosung laughs at his jokes, and runs her hand through his hair when he’s feeling stressed. She tastes like strawberries when they kiss one night after closing up.
Himchan is twenty-three when he proposes to Hyosung. He doesn’t love her, and he doesn’t think she loves him, but they’re just right together. She accepts, and they share a kiss - she no longer tastes of strawberries.
Himchan is twenty-four when he realizes he’s dragging Hyosung along for his own sake. He breaks off their engagement one morning over coffee. Her fingers tighten on the cup handle, and she frowns, but nods despite this. She understands, and Himchan is thankful. She gets up, moving towards him, and presses a chaste kiss to his temple. “I hope you find the happiness you deserve.”
Himchan finds himself seated outside a bar the night before his twenty-fifth birthday. He looks down at the McDonald’s burger in his lap, and brings it to his mouth to take a bite; grease runs down his fingers and he drops the sandwich to the ground.
He laughs, bitter, and looks up at the city life bustling before him. Couples entering and exiting fine establishments, friends laughing over each other trying to decide where to go, and even the homeless men outside the convenience store seem to be having a better time than him.
He doesn’t understand how things worked out to get him to where he currently is, but he thinks it has to be some sort of joke.
He can feel tears brim his eyes, but they don’t fall, and he can feel the heat radiating through his body as he works himself up. Himchan lets out a strangled groan, because it’s pathetic to be sitting outside of a bar downtown at midnight and crying over how life sucks. He wipes at his eyes with the sides of his fingers, rubbing grease and tears onto his cheeks.
A tissue is held out in front of his face, “You’re a mess.”
Kim Himchan is twenty-five when Bang Yongguk returns.
PG13
Angst, Fluff
Himchan is fifteen when he acknowledges his feelings for Yongguk.
about where we're goin'
Kim Himchan is seven when he meets Bang Yongguk. He’s sitting alongside of the swing set in the center of the school’s playground, digging into the dirt with the blunt end of a stick. “Watch out!” The stick snaps in two and slips from Himchan’s chubby fingers; a football lies at his feet. “Are you okay?” Himchan looks up and squints into the sunlight until a figure is blocking the rays, and his eyes focus on a boy. Himchan nods while rubbing under his nose with the back of his hand, he smears snot and dirt onto his cheek. The boy laughs and removes a tissue from his pocket, holding it out to Himchan, “You’re a mess.”
Himchan is nine when he first speaks with Yongguk. They’re seated beside each other in the library; apart from the librarian they are the only occupants. They’re in for a detention, Yongguk hadn’t done his English homework for a third time, and Himchan had pulled his classmate’s pigtail when she called him a name. “It’s alright.” Yongguk says when they first sit down, “At least she won’t do it again.” Himchan smiles bright.
Himchan is eleven when he meets Yongguk’s friends. Yongguk’s friends are cool, Himchan thinks, with their backwards baseball caps and R’nB music. They don’t really say much, but they look at him every now and then. Himchan is suddenly self-conscious of his thighs that feel a bit too tight in his school trousers, and his features that are somewhat too small for his round face. Yongguk doesn’t seem to care though, because he invites Himchan to his birthday party for the following weekend.
Himchan is thirteen when he tries alcohol at Yongguk’s house. Yongguk’s parents are gone to dinner for a date night, leaving him in the custody of his brother (who is nowhere to be found). Yongguk passes the glass bottle to Himchan, and watches him. Himchan stares at the nozzle; he can sense eyes on him and he curses himself for coming over, because of course Yongguk would’ve also invited his friends. “He won’t do it,” he hears one of them say. Himchan closes his eyes, brings the bottle to his lips and takes a swig.
Himchan is fifteen when he acknowledges his feelings for Yongguk. But, Yongguk has a girlfriend and she is everything he isn’t. She has a small waist that fits perfectly in Yongguk’s hands, and a defined face that fits perfectly in the crook of Yongguk’s neck. Himchan stares at his own reflection from the full-length mirror in his sister’s bedroom. He pinches at the baby fat gathered around his stomach.
Himchan is seventeen when he loses his virginity. He’s pressed down in the backseat of Daehyun’s car; and he arches his back and closes his eyes as Daehyun pushes inside him, filling him. Daehyun’s face is against his chest. “You’re beautiful,” he repeats between gasps as he thrusts into Himchan, and Himchan sighs in bliss because that’s all he wants to hear. In their drunken state, he knows Daehyun won’t last. His first time is awkward, and uncomfortable, and he moans Yongguk’s name when he hits his high.
Himchan is nineteen when Yongguk leaves for a foreign university. He cries when no one is around, and composes himself just in time to catch Yongguk before he boards the bus that’ll take him to the airport, that’ll take him away. Himchan hugs him, and Yongguk’s hands find their way to Himchan’s waist, and he holds him tight; a perfect fit. Himchan bites back the tears.
Himchan is twenty-one when he meets Hyosung. She’s a new employee at the bakery, and Himchan is called in to train her. Hyosung laughs at his jokes, and runs her hand through his hair when he’s feeling stressed. She tastes like strawberries when they kiss one night after closing up.
Himchan is twenty-three when he proposes to Hyosung. He doesn’t love her, and he doesn’t think she loves him, but they’re just right together. She accepts, and they share a kiss - she no longer tastes of strawberries.
Himchan is twenty-four when he realizes he’s dragging Hyosung along for his own sake. He breaks off their engagement one morning over coffee. Her fingers tighten on the cup handle, and she frowns, but nods despite this. She understands, and Himchan is thankful. She gets up, moving towards him, and presses a chaste kiss to his temple. “I hope you find the happiness you deserve.”
Himchan finds himself seated outside a bar the night before his twenty-fifth birthday. He looks down at the McDonald’s burger in his lap, and brings it to his mouth to take a bite; grease runs down his fingers and he drops the sandwich to the ground.
He laughs, bitter, and looks up at the city life bustling before him. Couples entering and exiting fine establishments, friends laughing over each other trying to decide where to go, and even the homeless men outside the convenience store seem to be having a better time than him.
He doesn’t understand how things worked out to get him to where he currently is, but he thinks it has to be some sort of joke.
He can feel tears brim his eyes, but they don’t fall, and he can feel the heat radiating through his body as he works himself up. Himchan lets out a strangled groan, because it’s pathetic to be sitting outside of a bar downtown at midnight and crying over how life sucks. He wipes at his eyes with the sides of his fingers, rubbing grease and tears onto his cheeks.
A tissue is held out in front of his face, “You’re a mess.”
Kim Himchan is twenty-five when Bang Yongguk returns.