"I've just realized that I'm practically married to my homework; but I frequently cheat on him with Vodka and good times because f* it, he's a bitch anyway"

So did everyone decide that the mall is the coolest place to be on a thursday morning? I didn't get the message!

Deck the malls with crowds of folly
Fa la la la la la la la la
Tis the season to be shopping
Fa la la la la la la la la
Long lines filled with crying babies
Fa la la la la la la la la
Fitting rooms packed with overweight ladies
Fa la la la la ( Read more... )

Happy 24th Birthday Ryan!

(It's the second most important day of your life... obviously nothing can top the day we became a couple!)

Love,

Your wonderful Girlfriend!

P.S. Where's the FRIGGIN cake???

P.P.S  I love you!

Dearest Natalie Warden ,

We are probably going to cry when we give our retarded speech in marketing. We will probably also cry when we get our grade on how terrible our 15 page piece of crap paper turned out to be.

Starting to cry now,

Rebecca A. Mose

You know I should be thankful for friends family and health, but eff that

Here's what I'm really thankful for

I'm thankful for my loud obnoxious alarm clock so I'm not late for work everyday . I'm thankful for my new jeans I bought the other day. I'm thankful for christmas. I'm thankful christmas is right after Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for my ( Read more... )

I'm pretty much over all the drama in my life. I'm out of high school, I shouldn't have drama but apparently it likes to follow me. I use to say I could handle the drama that you brought around me but lately it just went overboard. I can't even bring you around anyone anymore without drama. When I go out to the bars the last thing I want on my mind ( Read more... )

Friday: Got out of work on Friday at 6:45 p.m. and went over to the property and saw Chuckie's and Elizabeths house and saw my dirty boyfriend working on a house... hung out with Elizabeth and discussed how we are going to get  "super hot rubber boots!" Afterwards, we went over to Applebees and watched the PISTONS and got a little intoxicated on ( Read more... )

A man and a woman were dating. She being of a religious nature had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had never even seen her naked.

One day, as they drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits.

"I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over ( Read more... )

After a long night Saturday night.
I get a phone call at 6 a.m. in the morning.

Me: (dead tired) Hello?"
Person: WHO DIS BE? (exact words and screaming loudly)
Me: What?
Person: WHO DIS BE?
Me: uhh.. Becca. Who is this?
Person: GOT DA WRONG NUMBA BYE!

So.. I'm freaking ticked off
and go back to bed.

One hour later.Phone's ringing ( Read more... )

I am sick of dealing with brides whose honeymoons have to be perfect!