I'M DURNK. WHY RN'T YOU/.
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CAN YOU SAY "PORNO"?

It's almost been a week now and Jeff's car hasn't killed me yet. if you see a fiery ball of death traveling the freeway at 150 mph. you'll know that my brakes went out, the gas pedal stuck to the floor and the sunbird exploded causing me to shoot through the sky like a bright shooting star ( Read more... )

fucking dog farted in my room and left.

I wonder if I ate kibels and bits if my farts would smell like that?

today I got a phone call from a kid I coached last year... for those of you who don't know me, I coach hockey, and I'm a good coach too. last year I coached my little brothers team but he's moved on to travel and I don't have the time to coach that. so, this year will be frist year of pee wees which is I think 11 years old. anyhow. little alan ( Read more... )

the other day at my friends house I slid head first down a carpeted flight of stairs. something I havn't done since I was a little kid. and I LOVE IT. the pain of my sunburned chest getting ripped apart by the tiny fibers of the carpet was the furthest thing from my mind. jsut the excitement of being stupid. I wonder what other simple pleasures I' ( Read more... )

I HATE politics

think of the word face. I don't think there is another word describing a body part that has the same reaction "I'm going to kick you in the crotch" ok "I'm going to kick you in the shins" ouch "I'm going to kick you in the face!" YIKES! say it out loud if you don't beleive me.

GET BEHIND ME FUCKERS, I'M TAKING OVER !!!

this is the last thing jeff will ever see...
 
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so the 18 hours of sleep I got yesterday ended up a waste of time. I'm tired again and it's only 9 oclock. you'd think if you sleep half a day then you can be awake for two days. but that doesn't seem to be the case.
anythoughts on that?