Summary: When Gabriel is tasked with caring for a child, he immediately knows that this isn't a good idea. So he instead sends the kid to someone he knows is mature and responsible enough - Castiel. This can only end in tears.
Warnings: Seriously screwing with ages? Nothing other than that.
Disclaimer (Which I often forget to put in): HP and SPN are not mine. More's the pity.
Castiel had appeared behind the Winchesters. They knew this because their ears were suddenly assaulted by a screaming infant.
"What the hell?" Sam spun around, taken off guard by the sudden noise in Bobby's previously silent house.
"Dean," Castiel nodded, and the brothers noticed that he looked a little frazzled - something they'd never seen before. "I require your assistance."
"Uh, sure. Whattaya need?" Dean spoke loudly to cover the sound of young Teddy.
"How do I make him stop?" Castiel was nearly pleading with Dean, and both hunters had to stifle a chuckle. The angel was clearly out of his depth dealing with a human child, not really knowing how to hold him.
"Well, let's see," Dean thought back, trying to remember when Sam was that small. He'd thought it would be difficult, but he'd taken care of his little brother for so long that it was ingrained him his memory. "Run through the list. Is he hungry?"
"I have fed him. Gabriel gave me instructions on how to create a bottle."
"Good. Is his… uh, is his diaper full?"
"He is taking up all available room in the diaper, yes," Castiel looked confused. Dean snorted, then made a straight face again.
"Sorry. I meant has he, uh… Sam, technical terms please?"
"Urinated or defecated, I believe."
"Oh," Castiel blinked. "No, he has not… filled his diaper."
"How long's it been since he slept?"
"He woke ten minutes ago. He slept for several hours before that."
"Huh," Dean glanced over at Sam. "Well, I guess he could be lonely. Or bored. He's what, a year old?"
"One year, one month, five days."
"…uh, yeah," the brothers again shared a glance at Castiel's matter-of-fact tone. Dean shook his head and continued. "He needs more than just food and sleep. Kids need attention and love."
"I keep him with me most times. What more does he need?"
"Well, do you play with him?" Sam asked, finally joining the conversation. "Talk to him?"
"Why would I talk to him? He cannot respond."
"No, but it'll help him to learn how to talk. And you gotta help him figure out how to walk. And sooner or later, use the toilet and eat proper food. Cas… raising a kid is a big deal. Are you sure you want to do this?" Sam looked concerned, shooting glances between the slightly quieter child and the still uncomfortable angel.
"My brother asked me to care for the child. He needs a family, and I am on my way to being cast out from mine. So I shall raise him and give him what he needs, but I need your help to do it properly." The brothers stilled at the quiet conviction in Castiel's voice, then realised that Teddy had calmed as well. All three looked at the boy, who was now gurgling slightly and trying to hold on to the edge of Castiel's trench coat.
"Well, there's your answer," Dean supplied. "Talk to him. He seems to like the sound of your voice."
"What do I say to him?" Castiel looked up again, still confused. Dean shrugged, while Sam smiled.
"Tell him stories. Sing to him. Anything really, as long as he can tell that you're near and not leaving him alone."
"Very well."
With that, the angel and boy disappeared, leaving Sam and Dean to shake their heads and go back to reading.
"Hey Dean?" Sam asked after a moment.
"What?"
"When did we become surrogate brothers to an angel?"
"When the angel became a daddy. Read."
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