SPN Reverse Bang: Puppy Love
Fic Title: Puppy Love
Author: chef_geekier
Fandom/Genre: SPN
Pairing(s): Implied future Sam/Ruby
Rating: PG
Word Count: 3100
Warnings: Ridiculous situation, hellhound puppies, general demonic shenanigans, some violence and references to Hell.
Summary: Late season 3, Meg enlists Ruby to help her win a contest against Crowley. Ruby thinks both the higher-ranked demons are insane, but knows better than to say so. Turns out that training a hellhound and training a Winchester have some similarities. When she's in over her head though, it's the Winchesters who help her out.
Art masterlist here, by eyestoowide Go check it out, the cover especially is awesome! As is eyestoowide, for letting me go with complete and utter cracky fluff when the video was all dark and angsty.
Thanks as ever to my brother for being beta.
“So. You called?” Ruby wandered into the room Meg was currently occupying, then froze at the sight of the higher ranked demon.
“Isn’t he cute? This little guy’s gonna help me win out against Crowley.”
Ruby looked at the hellhound pup Meg was holding, and tried not to react. She had very clear and horrific memories concerning hellhounds.
“Cute… that’s one word for it.”
Meg was apparently ignoring her, and cooing at the pup instead. Ruby rolled her eyes and high-tailed back to bug the Winchesters, ignoring whatever it was that Meg had wanted to discuss. Dean’s threats of disembowelment were way better than watching her superior get cosy with a hellhound, which was just plain creepy.
The next time Ruby showed up, Meg was teaching the puppy to sit. It was definitely one of the odder things that Ruby had seen in her long existence, and she couldn’t help but enquire.
“So, uh… what’s with the pup?”
“Crowley bet me that he could train one of his pups better than I could,” Meg shrugged. “We can’t afford an all-out war between us just yet, so for now this will suffice. Whoever wins at the dog show wins the first skirmish. And as soon as Lucifer wins, Crowley and I will go back to trying to annihilate each other.”
“I see,” Ruby nodded and took a seat. She could see that Meg wasn’t going to win this - while she could easily get demons to do as she wanted with her sultry ways and bloodthirsty nature, not to mention her fanatical belief in the Morning Star, she was treating the pup like a pampered prince. That was no way to train a dog.
“So… are there any particular rules to break?” Ruby enquired. Granted Meg was an insane fanatic, but that created blind spots where Ruby could chase her own goals. Crowley was smart, observant, and ruthless in his demand for loyalty. He also hated other demons, and Ruby knew that if she followed him he’d kill her as soon as she stopped being useful.
“We decided to keep it simple,” Meg pouted at the pup. “We have three months to train the pups, whatever method we wish. When the time comes, we’ll cast a spell to make them appear as purebred Rottweilers. Whoever places higher in the dog show will win.”
“Not too complicated,” Ruby walked over to stand next to Meg. They both looked down at the hound, then Ruby shrugged. Might as well earn her keep for a little longer.
“SIT!” She growl-shouted at it, and shoved at its hindquarters with her foot. The pup looked up at her for a moment, then put its ears back and dropped to the ground. Meg turned and looked at her, clearly shocked, then her eyes narrowed.
“You know what you’re doing training dogs?”
“Sorta,” Ruby looked down at the pup. “It’s not that different to training Sam. He’s a big puppy that I’m trying to get to be vicious too. Just have to assert your dominance.”
“Okay then. You’ll be helping me train Butch here.”
“…Butch?”
“Yes. Butch.”
“If you say so.”
“DOWN!” Ruby growled and pushed Butch’s shoulder with her hand. Butch looked up at her, and licked her face. “Damnit. You’re sure this is a hellhound? It’s more like a damned kitten!”
“Well he is just a puppy,” Meg pointed out. “He hasn’t learned to be properly vicious yet.”
Ruby rolled her eyes again. It was now a common expression for her. Instead of snapping at her boss, she returned to shoving Butch around and growling at him. After all, he was much less likely to rip her throat out for subordination. Meg was wandering around, nattering on about the competition. Ruby growled at Butch again, and the dog promptly dropped, rolled over and urinated on himself.
Ruby figured that pretty much summed up the whole project. At least he was submitting to her authority, so there was an upside to the day. Now if only she could get Meg to do the same… unfortunately that wasn’t likely to happen any time soon. More’s the pity.
“Sit!” Ruby snapped, patience worn thin at the appalling and consistent yapping going on.
Sam blinked at her, and Ruby realised that she’d mixed up her puppies. She really wanted to stab someone right about now, and was about three failed commands away from taking Dean up on his offer to stab her. Or maybe she’d stab Butch instead.
Nah, it wasn’t the hound’s fault. She’d go stab Meg. Possibly Crowley too, he was at least partly to blame. After all, only the pair of them could come up with the insane idea of entering a hellhound in a dog show.
“Ruby, are… you okay?” Sam asked, while Dean just glared at her a little. It was a fairly regular reaction from him, and oddly it helped to calm Ruby down. At least something in the world still made sense: Dean still hated demons, and most likely always would.
“Fine,” Ruby shrugged off Sam’s concern, her equilibrium momentarily restored. “Just finish the yapping and get to the point.”
Sam actually did as he was told, but it didn’t fill Ruby with a whole lot of confidence. Trust the Winchester brothers to take a fool-proof plan and destroy it.
“Stay!” It was a couple of weeks later, and Ruby was feeling a little better now. Butch was fairly competent when it came to ‘sit’ and ‘down’, now they were working on ‘stay’ and ‘fetch’. Then she’d have to teach the pup ‘shake’ and ‘roll over’. Eventually, she was fairly confident that she could teach the pup the all-important command ‘bring me a Hellfire Whisky, neat, and some crispy wings’.
And then she’d take all of the hounds she could find, kill both Meg and Crowley, take her place at the top of the demonic food chain, and hopefully never have to do something this stupid ever again. Though she didn’t hold high hopes for that.
“We’re gonna win,” Meg was gloating. “Can you feel it?”
“Yeah yeah,” Ruby muttered, backing away from Butch a little. He squirmed, but didn’t move. Once she’d backed off ten paces, Ruby relented and patted her thigh. “Here boy!” Butch bounded towards her, and Ruby fed him a human finger.
“Where’d you get those things, anyway?” Meg asked. Ruby looked into the pouch containing random body parts, then shrugged.
“The Winchesters took out some witches a few weeks back. I went back and took a few things that they didn’t need any more.”
“Fair enough,” Meg grinned as she watched the proceedings. “How are things going on that front, anyway?”
“Butch is learning quicker than Sam,” Ruby glared at the pup. “Honestly, for the guy who’s meant to be the smart one of the two? He’s thick as a plank. No, a pair of planks. He complains about trust levels and how demons are all evil, but he’s letting me boss him around. He’s already listening to me more than to his brother. He’s such a twit.”
“Makes your job easier though,” Meg pointed out, and Ruby nodded.
“Yeah. Can’t help wishing he was a little smarter though. He doesn’t even have a decent killer instinct. He’s never gonna be able to lead any sort of army.”
“Maybe we should have tried harder with the father.”
“Maybe.”
There were times Ruby really hated Sam Winchester. He could be such a whiny little bitch when he put his mind to it, and she’d had about enough. Ruby knew that she was meant to be getting close to him, teach him to use his latent powers properly, but…
“No!” She whapped him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. “Don’t be an idiot.”
The look on Sam’s face was priceless, as was the fact that Dean almost fell off his chair laughing. It immediately raised Ruby’s spirits, and she decided to skip the lecture she’d been about to deliver. The simple command was much more effective, and satisfying.
What was even more satisfying was the fact that the Winchesters then went to do exactly what she’d been trying to coax them into doing to begin with. Life was good.
~*~
A month before the dog show, Ruby found out that in addition to the commands she had to take Butch through an agility course. Her mood immediately went back down. She was seriously contemplating calling up Dean and telling him where Meg was. It couldn’t end any worse than this stupid bet was already looking. Seriously, would it have killed Meg to give Ruby all of the details to start with?
Then again, knowing Meg, it probably would have done her damage to be straightforward with someone for once in her incredibly long and annoying existence. So Ruby contented herself with thoughts of roasting Dean over a slow fire, and things of that nature. Sooner or later it was bound to improve her mood.
After their first run of the agility course that had been set up, during which Ruby tripped on Butch and his leash no less than six times, Ruby was strangely optimistic. The hellhound wanted to go fast and keep going, making it a matter more of slowing him down and teaching him to weave rather than a lack of enthusiasm. She could teach him finesse, but if he’d been afraid of any of the obstacles things would have gone downhill even faster, and she might have been tempted to make herself a hellhound-skin rug.
Actually she still was, however her murderous thoughts were more about Crowley’s pup than about Butch.
Meg had watched their first run of the course and didn’t seem particularly enthusiastic about the event any more, but Ruby grasped her by the arm and caught her attention.
“Look, we’ve got a lot of ground to cover and we’ve got to do it fast, but we can do it.”
After a moment, Meg nodded back, and Ruby felt the smug glow of satisfaction flow through her. Meg was back to being obnoxiously optimistic about the whole thing, but Ruby could live with that. It was time to step up the training, but she could do it.
It was two weeks before the dog show, and Butch was now much better at running through the course. Ruby decided that it was well past time they checked out the competition, even though she hadn’t managed to get a sneak peek before. This time she managed to find and bribe one of Crowley’s guards to let her see a training session with his hound, Sashi.
What she saw made Ruby’s confidence plummet. Crowley’s hound followed his every command perfectly, both verbal and non-verbal, and was already a lean hunting hound. She was far more advanced than her brother, something that came down to temperament. Butch was just too friendly, while Sashi was a true hellhound. At least, she was well on her way to becoming one.
Ruby went back to where Meg was trying to take Butch through the agility course, and covered her eyes with her hands as the other demon tripped when Butch ran in front of her towards the wrong obstacle. This was a complete disaster. They’d be better off going with a real dog rather than the incompetent ball of bloodied fluff and claws that made up Butch.
“What could possibly go wrong?” Meg grinned at her, supremely confident even from her position on the ground, Butch leaping up to lick her face. “Butch is gonna be great!”
“No he’s not,” Ruby snapped. “Crowley’s pup is the perfect example of a hellhound, and highly obedient. We’re screwed. It’s already over, and I’m not gonna let you embarrass us all with a hellhound who can’t even snarl properly.”
With that, she turned on her heel and left. She was having much better luck training Sam to her will.
Two days later, Ruby tried to approach the Winchesters - only to find that she was suddenly up against an invisible wall. She looked up and saw that someone had drawn a devil’s trap on the ceiling of the hotel’s hallway, and had a sudden very bad feeling.
“Well, well, well,” a smooth British voice came from behind her, and Ruby knew that she was in deep trouble. “If it isn’t the little spy.”
“Crowley,” Ruby turned to keep him in her sight. She immediately noticed the three hounds flanking the demon - two fully grown and the pup. Then the grown hounds moved, circling her, always keeping in formation so that Ruby could never see all three hounds at once. A chill ran through Ruby as she realised that they were stalking her, and at any moment could pounce. It was all down to Crowley’s will, and he had no particular reason to spare her.
“Thought I might give Sashi here a chance to learn to drag a soul to Hell. Since I haven’t got any deals due any time soon, I decided to try on Meg. If only I knew where she was. So…”
“You want me to grass on her?” Ruby raised an eyebrow, mind rapidly going through her various options. They all stank. “You’ll just kill me as soon as I talk.”
“Of course not,” Crowley smiled patronizingly at her. “You tell me where she is, and I make sure that Sammy-boy knows where you are and that you’re stuck. You keep quiet, and I let Sashi here drag you down, back to the racks. Your choice.”
Ruby watched him for a few moments, glancing at the different hounds as well. The question was now who she wanted to kill her. She knew that she was leaning towards ratting Meg out - after all, having her soul chewed on by fully trained hounds had been bad enough the first time. If an untrained hound got its teeth into her, it would be even worse. She saw Crowley start to open his mouth and caved.
“Okay! Okay. I’ll take my chances. She and Butch-” Crowley snorted, and Ruby’s mouth quirked in a half-smile. She shared his opinion on the name. “-are in a house in Washington.”
Much to Ruby’s surprise - and relief - Crowley and his hounds left as soon as she’d given him the address. Knowing that she was now well up a certain famous creek without a paddle and nothing resembling a boat, she figured it was about time she swallowed her pride and asked for help.
If only she knew someone who delighted in killing demons…
Ruby silently made her way through the yard, keeping her eyes peeled for any pesky devil’s traps. Several feet away, she saw Sam and Dean doing the same thing. It hadn’t taken much to convince them to help her out with this particular project - all she needed to do was mention a hellhound breeding facility and C4, and Dean was on board for combining the two. Sometimes it worried Ruby just how much she and Dean had in common. Other times, like this, she used their similarities to her fullest advantage.
Seeing the breeding facility where her contacts told her that Crowley’s pup was being held, Ruby glanced over at Sam and motioned towards it. The giant human nodded and grabbed his brother, heading towards it whilst Ruby palmed her favourite knife. Time to clear out the guards.
The first two fell quickly to slashes from the knife, which pleased her greatly. The third gave her more trouble, and Ruby was caught up fighting him for several minutes, until there was an explosion from across the yard.
The force of the blast was enough to throw both Ruby and her current opponent to the ground. Since she’d been expecting it, Ruby was able to roll onto her knees and drive her knife into the demon’s chest, destroying it. She was pulled to her feet by Sam and followed the boys as they did one last sweep of the yard, then scrambled back over the wall.
Joining the Winchesters for a post-hunt drink hadn’t been part of the plan, but Ruby couldn’t deny the need for hard alcohol right now. She’d killed three demons and had a hand in destroying an entire pack of hellhounds.
Added to that was the fact that Sam was showing clear improvement in his tendency to follow her commands, and even Dean was arguing less against her suggestions. He still argued, yes, but after arguing he was more likely to do as he was told.
All in all, it was a fantastic day. Ruby felt calm and content, even if she did still have to deal with an idiotic hellhound at some point. She then noticed the way Sam was glancing at her now and then, and recalled the way he’d helped her up back at Crowley’s place. Taking a sip from her drink to cover her smug grin, Ruby sent a saucy glance back.
Everything was falling into place.
Two weeks later, Ruby and Meg sat side by side on a pair of deck chairs at a beach in Hawai’i, sipping from their deliciously fruity cocktails.
“How’s the trophy look on the mantle?” Ruby asked. Meg smirked.
“It looks wonderful. Shame about how none of the other dogs made it to the competition.”
“Mmm,” Ruby hummed in agreement. “Butch looked happy though. Nice and well-fed.”
“Yep.” They sat in silence for a little longer, happily drinking. There were definitely some places on Earth that Ruby loved. “Told you we were gonna win,” Meg pointed out in her typically obnoxious voice.
“So you did.”
“And we’ve set Crowley back a few years with his pack.”
“How’s Mama taking that?” Ruby asked. Meg was the only other demon who knew just how closely she was working with Lilith - mostly because the two had to coordinate with each other often in their plans to manipulate the Winchesters.
“She’s delighted,” Meg sounded extremely satisfied with herself. “We did well.”
The girls clinked their glasses together and drank happily as Butch lay on the ground between them, gnawing on a leg.
~Fin~