Title: Let the Devil Have Tomorrow
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: NC 17
Length: ~3,000 words
Category: First Time
Notes: Thank you to the Grrrl for her always valuable criticism. Missing scene from 5x10 "Abandon All Hope."
Summary: Dean isn't the only one capable of pointing out they might be dead tomorrow.
Everyone had drifted off to their various corners to sleep and Dean knew he should too. Big day tomorrow. It wasn't every day you killed the devil, or tried to.
Leaning on the railing on Bobby's porch, he looked out at the sea of old cars. He was probably the only person in the world who would find the view reassuring.
Cas appeared beside him.
"You could walk from inside the house onto the porch."
"The door makes noise and I didn't wish to wake anyone."
"I doubt they're asleep."
Cas's eyes locked on the side of his face. It was funny how Dean could feel Cas's gaze like it was a physical thing. "There is something I wish to speak with you about, but not here."
Frowning, Dean turned toward him. "Okay."
Cas reached out a hand and Dean found himself in a hotel room with a single queen-sized bed. "Cas?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows to emphasize the question.
"We may die tomorrow," Cas said, looking directly at him, but then shifting his eyes to the side, the way he did when he was up to something. "You once told me you would not let me die a virgin."
"You want me to take you out, find you a nice girl?" Normally, Dean would be willing to help, but it was a little late.
"No. I've been doing some research and strangers aren't generally recommended for first sexual experiences. It should be someone I know and trust."
The penny dropped, causing Dean to shift his weight from one foot to the other. "It's not just about trust. There has to be attraction. You have to want to get naked with them."
Those damned blue eyes locked on his. "I want to get naked with you."
Dean dropped his gaze to the floor.
"But you don't reciprocate," Cas said.
"Cas, I--"
"I understand. You're attracted to vaginas and breasts and I have a penis."
Put that way it sounded stupid. "Why do you even want to have sex? You weren't all that interested before."
"All of you devote a great deal of time and energy to sex. I wanted to understand why, to experience those feelings for myself."
Cas had already died once fighting for humanity and there was a damn good chance he would die again tomorrow. And Dean doubted he'd be resurrected a second time. He forced himself to look at Cas. To really look. Cas looked alone. Which he was. Dean had asked him for help; Cas had given it, and his family, almost everyone he knew, had turned their back on him as a result. Dean and Sam, maybe Bobby, they were all Cas had.
"I'll take you back to Bobby's," Cas said, reaching out.
Dean grabbed his wrist. "Give a guy a minute, would you?"
Lowering his arm, Cas tilted his head, watching Dean.
He'd gotten used to Cas watching him, to Cas being in his space. "Cas, I--"
The corners of Cas's mouth shifted, hinting at a smile. "Yes, Dean?"
"Yes." Dean almost couldn't believe the word had come from his lips, but this was Cas and tomorrow they were going to fight Lucifer, and he knew in his gut that even if they succeeded, even if they took out Lucifer, they weren't all going to make it out alive. "Yes."
Cas's lips curled even more, coming damn close to a smile before he took a step forward and pressed them to Dean's. It wasn't the greatest kiss Dean had ever had. It wasn't even in the top one hundred. It was off center, and Cas was clearly unsure what to do.
Teaching Cas to kiss had apparently fallen to Dean, but as responsibilities went, he'd had far worse.
Drawing back, Dean rested one hand against the side of Cas's neck, placed the other on his waist. "Kissing should be easy. It should flow."
"Flow?" Cas echoed, frowning.
"Like this." Leaning down, Dean touched his lips to Cas's softly, a touch that almost wasn't there, that invited Cas to press closer.
Cas shifted closer, and Dean teased Cas's lips with his own. They were surprisingly full.
Placing a hand on Dean's shoulder, Cas teased back.
"That's it," Dean said, drawing back just long enough to whisper encouragement.
Encouragement Cas apparently took to heart, because when his lips returned to Dean's the hesitancy was gone. Instead, he followed where Dean led, echoing Dean's caresses with caresses of his own until Dean parted his lips and a clearly startled Cas slipped his tongue inside.
Dean sucked it lightly, and Cas pushed his hips into Dean's. Touching his tongue to Cas's, Dean began guiding him through the art of French kissing, tasting, exploring, letting Cas taste him.
By the time they finished, Cas's arms were tight around Dean's shoulders and his entire body was pressing into Dean's.
"This is what arousal feels like," Cas said, tucking his head next to Dean's. "It's pleasurable."
Dean didn't bother pointing out it was supposed to be. Just smiled to himself and bent forward until his lips brushed the side of Cas's neck. When Cas said, "oh," Dean mouthed his way across Cas's skin, tasting and teasing.
Cas held on to him, hips shifting against Dean's.
Dean worked his way back upward until he reached Cas's ear. Then he closed his lips around the lobe, sucking gently, tracing the lower curve of it with his tongue.
Cas shuddered. Actually shuddered. It was a reminder of just how inexperienced Cas was, and Dean could remember how overwhelmed he'd felt the first few times. He'd at least jerked off. Cas probably hadn't even done that, probably had no idea what to expect, how it was all going to feel. Dean silently vowed to make it good for him, because Cas deserved good. Because there was a really good chance what he and Cas did tonight would be the last worthwhile thing he ever did.
Releasing Cas's ear, Dean whispered, "You need to take off your coat."
Cas lifted a hand from Dean's shoulder, but it wasn't just the coat that vanished, it was their clothes, all of them and suddenly Dean had a naked Castiel in his arms. "Nice trick."
Cas grinned. Cas never grinned.
Startled, Dean grinned back. "Our clothes aren't in some alternate dimension, are they?"
"They're on the chair behind you."
Dean didn't bother looking. He had more interesting things to do, like kiss Cas again and slide his hands over the smooth skin of Cas's back, feeling the lean strength of him.
It's been a long since he'd felt this much naked skin against his own, and his body didn't seem to care that Cas's skin had a male shape. It just liked the feel of him.
Cas's erection was against his hip and Dean shifted his leg, increasing the contact.
Cas gasped into his mouth.
Dean deepened the kiss, letting it get hungrier, letting Cas feel how turned on he was. Cas answered in kind, pushing with his hips, sliding his tongue along Dean's.
When they finally broke apart, Cas whispered, "I have lubricant."
Dean wasn't planning on going that far, not the first time, but they had all night. "Get it."
Cas walked past him to the chair where their clothes were piled and picked up his coat, reaching into the pocket.
Dean watched him. Cas was thinner than he'd expected, pale, lots of white skin everywhere. His ass curved very nicely and Dean had second thoughts about his plans for the lube.
Lube in hand, Cas turned and smiled, and Dean realized Cas wasn't nervous, not like he'd been at the brothel. It didn't take a genius to figure out why. Cas trusted him. For a moment Dean felt pole-axed, stuck in place. Then Cas took a step and Dean moved toward him. Hands reaching for Cas's waist, Dean kissed him. It was slow, thorough, as hot as Dean knew how to make it.
Cas slid an arm up around Dean's neck, keeping him in place as he practically undulated until his entire body was up against Dean's.
Resting his forehead against Cas's, Dean tried to ignore the ache in his cock long enough to figure out what he was going to do next.
Cas moved his hands down Dean's back, his touch firmer than Dean expected. "I want to touch you."
Dean had no idea why those words made him want to drop to his knees, but they did. "You can do whatever you want." With a kiss to Cas's forehead, he took a step to the side, toward the bed, using a hand on Cas's wrist to encourage Cas to follow.
Dean lay down on the bed and Cas settled next to him, resting his weight on his hip and putting a hand on Dean's chest. Cas moved his hand upward, traced inside the curve of Dean's collarbone with his fingertips, skated his palm over Dean's biceps, down along the entire length of Dean's arm until his fingers brushed Dean's palm. He pressed a kiss to the front of Dean's shoulder, rubbed a thumb over Dean's nipple.
And the entire time Dean simply lay there, letting Cas touch him. He felt strangely relaxed, completely comfortable. But then the one thing he'd always been sure of was his body and his looks. Except he was pretty sure his looks weren't the reason Cas in bed with him.
Lifting a hand to Cas's shoulder, Dean began an exploration of his own. Cas's skin was soft, but his body thrummed with a power it shouldn't have. It was like Dean could feel it, right there under his skin. It was possible he was imagining it, but he didn't think so.
Either way, it was a turn-on.
Cupping the back of Cas's neck in his hand, Dean guided Cas's mouth to his. Cas fell into the kiss, his entire body sinking onto Dean's.
The kiss was hot, wet, intense, ratcheting the lust building between them up another couple of notches.
"Sit up," Dean whispered, and Cas sat back on his heels, one knee on either side of Dean's hips. There it was, Cas's cock, thick and hard, just waiting to be touched. Dean slid his fingertips along the shaft and Cas gasped, his gaze locking on Dean's hand.
Dean repeated the touch, dragging it out. But he knew he wouldn't hold out long, because he wanted to wrap his hand around it, wanted to see what Cas would do when he felt someone else's hand jerking him for the first time.
Giving in, he wrapped his fingers around Cas's cock and Cas arched, tilting his head back, pushing his hips forward, wordlessly asking for more. Dean had to give it to him. Had to.
He slid his hand to the base of Cas's cock, then brought it slowly back, going up past the head before reversing direction.
He was on the third stroke when Cas opened his eyes, his gaze locking on Dean's. His lips were parted and Dean could hear him breathe. Cas looked more exposed than Dean had ever seen him, than Dean had ever thought he could be. This was Castiel, curious, determined, fearless, fucking beautiful Castiel, and Dean couldn't pull his eyes away.
He was so caught up in looking he forgot to stroke. But Cas did't complain, he leaned down, eyes not leaving Dean's until their lips touched. It was tender and easy and it flowed, and Dean was certain that desperate, vulnerable sound had come from his throat, but he didn't care.
Cas was stretched out on top of him, his weight sinking into Dean's, and for a crazy moment Dean thought it would be okay if Cas did sink into him, if he just somehow slid into Dean, merging them into one.
But it was just a moment. And it passed, replaced by a new moment, by Cas lifting himself back up, by Dean reaching for the lube Cas had abandoned on the bed.
He squirted a line of lube across his palm up onto his fingers, then he wrapped his hand around Cas's cock.
"Cold," Cas said, pulling his hips back.
Dean tightened his grip, not letting Cas get away. "Sorry." He moved his hand along the full length of Cas's shaft, coating it all and Cas pushed his hips forward again. "Shift back," Dean said.
Cas inched backwards and Dean shifted his hips a little to the side, bringing their cocks into alignment. Then he opened his hand, catching his own cock with his thumb and lifting it until it was touching Cas's. The contact made him close his eyes, hitch in a breath. He'd been so focused on Cas's dick he'd forgotten about his own.
Cas, being Cas, shifted his hips, rubbing his cock against Dean's. The pleasure shooting along his spine caught him off-guard and Dean opened eyes, found Cas staring down at him. Cas moved his hips again, drawing his cock down along Dean's until only the head was still beneath Dean's encircling hand, then he pushed forward, not stopping until the head was up against Dean's own. After the barest pause, he started all over again.
"So beautiful," Cas murmured. Dean had no idea if he meant the way it felt or the way their cocks looked together. It didn't matter, because he was right, Dean thought as he watched the reddened head of Cas's cock appear and disappear from beneath his hand. He could feel every bit of the drag of Cas's cock against his own and that letter in the Forum really hadn't done this justice.
"Dean."
There was an anxious note in Cas's voice and Dean reached out, cupped the side of Cas's neck with his free hand. "It's okay," he said, stroking Cas's pulse point with his thumb. "Let yourself go. Let yourself feel it. I'm right here."
Cas's motions changed. He pushed faster, not pulling back as far, rubbing the underside of his cock against Dean's shaft. There was a weird determination in his eyes, like he was going to do this, going to rub himself against Dean until he came no matter what.
When he did it was with an arched back and a low, keening sound that went straight to Dean's gut. But after the first spurt he fell forward, catching himself on his hands, as he kept moving against Dean's cock, his whole body shuddering as his fluid landed on Dean's stomach and Dean's cock. He was still trembling slightly when he rested his forehead against Dean's, breathing hard.
Dean stroked Cas's back, trying to ignore the ache at the base of his own cock. But he was too turned on, and after a couple of minutes he moved the hand still gripping both of their shafts.
Cas sat up, looked down at Dean's hand and cock. Taking hold of Dean's hand, he pulled it away, wrapping his own around Dean's shaft.
Dean groaned at the sensation.
"Is this good?" Cas asked, stroking slowly.
"Yes," Dean said, even though Cas's touch was too light, too slow, even though he was barely brushing the places that felt best. Castiel, the best damned angel God ever made was touching him, wanting to give him pleasure, wanting to make him come, and there weren't words for how good that felt. Dean wasn't an idiot. He knew he'd spent years using sex to get attention and approval, but that wasn't what this was.
Cas kissed him, creating a circuit of pleasure from his mouth to his dick and back.
"I don't want to come," he whispered when the kiss ended.
Cas smiled softly, then kissed him again. This time he didn't stop, he kept kissing and stroking until Dean's brain shut off, until he was nothing but a hard, wanting cock and greedy, needing lips.
Some things can't be stopped and he arched when his orgasm finally hit, his entire body going stiff as his cock pulsed, shooting his release onto Cas's hand and Cas's chest. Cas kept stroking, but the kissing stopped when he pulled back to stare down at Dean, watching as Dean came apart in his hands.
When it was over he reached for Cas and Cas relaxed into him, Dean's arms wrapped firmly him.
Outside a car drove by, engine revving too high and fast, but inside the only sound was their breathing. Their breathing eventually settled and Cas shifted, briefly touching his lips to the side of Dean's neck. "Is it always like this?" Cas asked.
"No," Dean said, his hold on Cas tightening. "Only with the right person, and even then only sometimes."
"What's it like the rest of the time?"
"Depends on the mood, the person. Sex is as different as the people having it." It was a boilerplate answer and he wanted to do better by Cas. "Usually I go for playful, fun, lots of teasing and laughing."
"That sounds pleasant."
"It's safe," Dean said.
Cas lifted himself up onto one arm where he could see Dean's face. "This wasn't safe."
"No," Dean agreed.
Cas nodded once, then kissed him before settling back against Dean.
"I'm sorry about the brothel. I shouldn't have taken you there," Dean said. He should've known Cas deserved better than sex he'd paid for.
"It made you laugh. And you asked Raphael if our father worked for the post office." There was a hint of laughter in Cas's voice, enough to make Dean smile.
"Have you looked there? I'm thinking those uniforms would make a good disguise."
Cas laughed, actually laughed, even though the sound was muffled when he pressed his face to Dean's shoulder.
Smiling, Dean rubbed his cheek against Cas's hair. The devil could have tomorrow. Tonight was theirs.