[Fanfic] Remember [Chapter 4]
Title: Remember [Chapter 4]
Rating: T (Yes, I brought the rating down)
Fandom: Eyeshield 21/CLAMP (Crossover)
Disclaimers: I do not own any of the characters used here. They belong to their respective owners, namely Riichiro Inagaki and Yuusuke Murata for Eyeshield 21 and CLAMP.
Summary: Anezaki Mamori wakes up to realize that she has been thrown into a different world with no memory of who she is or was. With the help of a familiar blonde demon and a mysterious woman, she goes on a journey to discover the truth behind this predicament and regain what she had lost. AU. Crossover. HiruMamo.
Notes: So I brought the rating down to T because as I looked at the kind of violence I intend to write they're not that violent after all. Mostly because I look at today's media and well, the elements I intend to put in this fic is not new. Disturbing at some points, yes, but not new. And if most young people can take it, then my fic isn't as "bad" as I thought it was. So yes, the rating has gone down.
Back to the story, I'm sorry for the delay. As mentioned before, NaNoWriMo and the hectic insanity of December kept me from writing. This chapter/story arc was, again, longer than I expected and just like the previous arc, is separated into two. So a lot of explanations are going on in here before we head on to Mamori/Hiruma actually DOING something. I intend to write the next chapter soon enough. Until then, enjoy!
Much love to moodylollipop for editing!
~*~
Two figures stood on either side of Mamori. Instinctively, she turned to see who they were but her body wouldn’t move, and all she could see from the narrow view her glancing eyes allowed her were mere dark silhouettes. Just like in every other dream she’d had.
“I can’t believe it’s happening…” says the girl on her left.
“Who would have thought, right?” the other girl said. “Do you remember when we tried to stop her from ever seeing him again?”
“Well, he never really did leave a good impression on us from afar…”
“You know, Mamori, you could have saved us all the trouble if you just told us a little more about what you two do most of the time.”
“It must have been very romantic! Oh, tell me it was, Mamori!”
Mamori felt the urge to laugh, grasping at words forming in her head, ready to explain whatever misunderstanding that seemed to be happening. But the words never came, and the two figures slowly dissolved into the background…
Then she found herself awake. Or that’s what it felt like anyway as everything felt less fuzzy and much clearer. Feeling a lot more conscious, she opened her eyes to an orange yellow sky. She could feel a light breeze passing through as she breathed in the warm air.
Drawing from the limited vault of her memory, she knew she wasn’t exactly awake, and neither was this reality. This should have depressed her, or at least bothered her. But at the moment she was just glad to have regained the ability to sense and feel. No longer was she trapped in that darkness that threatened to consume her. She was free, and she would surely find her way back.
“I see you’re awake.”
The familiar voice prompted Mamori to look away from the sky and into the green eyes of a blonde haired boy, who exuded confidence. He wore the same grin she had seen him use many, many times since she first laid eyes on him. She now wondered if that grin was a mask to hide what he was really feeling.
“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten who I am now,” he said to her, almost cackling. “That’d be a step backwards, and that’d be a fucking waste.”
“Hiruma,” she felt herself say instantly. For a moment, she wondered how she knew his name, and then the memory of her asking for his name before passing out slowly surfaced. She sat up and saw that she had been lying on the grass near a road. One look behind her told her they were at the edge of a playground, and Hiruma was sitting with his back against a tree, just a short distance from her. Her sword lay harmlessly next to her, winking slyly in the sun. “Where are we?” she asked before she could stop herself.
Hiruma cackled. “I have no idea myself,” he answered, looking around the playground. Again, Mamori the thought that he must be lying occurred to her. But she had no proof, and she didn’t think she had the right to say otherwise. “You know, if you keep waking up and asking that, we’re just going to waste a fuck load of time.”
“Right…” Mamori replied, nodding as she rubbed her temples. “Of course, this isn’t reality… this is actually a dream…”
“That’s right,” Hiruma nodded. “And you know why you’re here, right?”
Mamori slowly nodded as she answered, “To find out what really happened to me and get my memories back.”
“Good,” said Hiruma as he got up, dusting his worn out jeans. Mamori noticed that he had gun holsters to hold the guns she had seen him use many times since she first saw him. His jacket was, once more on Mamori’s lap. She guessed he must have put it on her as she slept. “Let’s get going then.”
Mamori stood up, slightly shaky as she held on to his jacket. “Where are we going?” she asked as she handed Hiruma’s jacket back to him.
“Honestly, if you keep asking me these questions every time you wake up…” he said, grinning as he took his jacket from her.
Mamori’s eyebrows creased in a small frown as it occurred to her that this world’s existence, what appeared and what might happen next depended solely on her. “Sorry, but I don’t recall everything as quickly as you do,” she scolded, but Hiruma merely cackled his dismissal as he headed towards the side of the road. Sighing, she picked up her sword, before hurrying after him.
They stood there for a moment, looking around as Mamori began to figure out where they should go. It felt stupid, standing around in the quickly waning evening light. And once more, Mamori had a nagging feeling that she should be really bothered by her current situation. Yet she really didn’t want to… She wasn’t sure why.
Taking a deep breath, Mamori decided to let her instincts take control. And with that she began to walk down the road, while Hiruma followed suit.
They kept silent as Mamori began to walk past some shops. They were all deserted, and everything was still and silent in this current world. “Hey Hiruma…” she said out loud.
“What?” he replied.
“Will this world be less silent when more of my memories return?” she asked, looking at him as he walked beside her.
“What, you want this place to be filled with fucking noise?” he asked her back.
“Not really noise just…” Mamori looked into what was supposed to be a boutique shop. But she could see nothing else inside but darkness. “Just some sounds, I guess. Well, at least I’m able to see more things now than before but… It’s so hard just knowing something’s missing and not quite figuring out what that is.”
Hiruma kept silent, a stern look on his face. Mamori observed him a little more as they kept walking and she began to wonder why Hiruma wasn’t answering her question.
They reached a traffic light, but the lights weren’t on and there were obviously no cars around. Even so, Mamori instinctively stopped by the roadside and looked down the road. “Eh?” she muttered, wondering why she did just that. Hiruma was walking ahead of her now and she sped up to reach his side. Everything felt just as strange and as weird as before, and yet this boy acted as if nothing was wrong.
“Hey, Hiruma…”
“What?” Hiruma asked, sounding a little impatient.
“Who are you really?” she asked. “What are you doing here? And why are you helping me?”
Hiruma stopped walking for a brief second. Mamori looked at him earnestly, but he didn’t turn back to look at her. Instead, he kept walking once more. “Who do you think I am?”
Mamori swallowed the urge to knock Hiruma with her sword. Why was he always asking her questions to get the answers? “I don’t know!” cried Mamori. “Why do you think I’m asking? I really wish you’d stop doing that because it’s not making this situation any better for me!”
Hiruma grinned, looking rather pleased at Mamori’s outburst. “Well, at least you’re fucking speaking up about it now. Took you long enough.”
“What?” went Mamori, feeling even more confused. “Just… just try to explain to me why you’re here with me, and why you’re helping me.”
“I guess you could say I’m linked to your subconscious…” Hiruma replied. “You created me.”
“I… did?” asked Mamori, trying to figure out how she could have done just that. “You mean… just like how this world was created… I created you, too?”
Mamori could not see Hiruma’s expression as he began to explain. “When you were trapped in that darkness… you were desperate to escape, right? That desperation, that desire was what created me.”
Mamori pondered over this even more. “So deep down, I wanted to be saved and that’s why you appeared? Calling out to me and keeping me from falling back down there?” Hiruma didn’t say anything, so she was sure that she must be on the right track. But soon another curious question popped in her head. “Then… Why in this shape?”
“Shape?” Hiruma turned to her, genuinely confused for once.
“N-no offence,” Mamori said quickly. “But you don’t exactly look like a typical hero … I mean, you curse a lot! And you tend to be pretty harsh and you look more like a threat than a savior… I just can’t believe I’d be able to envision someone like you.”
Hiruma’s face held that look of surprise for a mere second longer before he began to laugh. She wasn’t sure if that laughter was sinister, or if it was mocking her… but it was different from the cackle she was used to hearing. Somewhat similar, yes, but still different. Like he was merely very, very amused. “What’s so funny?” Mamori demanded.
Hiruma’s laughter slowly died down. “You never change…” she heard him mutter before he turned to her with his toothy grin. “Think about it for a moment. Aren’t I the complete opposite of you?”
Mamori blinked for a moment as she thought about it for a moment. He was right… everything about him was the complete opposite of who she was, or at least, who she thought she was. “So… you were created based on what I wanted to be a complete opposite of me?”
“Because you believe who you really are won’t do you any good,” said Hiruma. He then jerked his head, signaling to keep going. Mamori nodded and they began to walk on. There were less buildings now, but one big building stood right before them. Mamori knew that was where they had to go. Clutching on to her sword tightly, she marched on.
Yet the presence of the boy could not stop haunting her. Was he really what he said he was? Or was he lying? How could she even know he was lying? Did she really make him up, or was his image based on someone that she knew?
Someone who could be very important?
But the more Mamori thought about this, the more frustrating it became. The emotions swirling within her became unbearable. Then she felt the world around her shift a little, as though everything was being stretched. The shock of what she had done kept her frozen.
“Stop thinking so hard,” she heard him say. She looked at him as he stood before her, looking at her intensely. He’d worn that same look when Mamori had been stuck in the darkness and was afraid. It now dawned on her why she had been so transfixed by his eyes at that time. “You’re still not in the right state to figure everything out. Just take things as you go along… By the end of it all, you’ll have all the answers.”
“Really?” she murmured, as she felt the world shift back to how it was before.
“Yeah,” he replied, grin now back in place. He looked towards the building. “So I’m guessing our next stop to regain more of yourself is right over there.”
Mamori nodded her steps firm as she marched with Hiruma beside her, the building drawing close. “Hiruma…” she said once more, although Hiruma didn’t bother to reply. “I don’t really know who you are, or why exactly you’re here but… thank you. For some reason, I’m really glad you’re here with me.”
He grinned, although it didn’t seem to reach his eyes. “You talk way too much, Fucking Ma…” Hiruma’s voice trailed away as they approached the building.
Mamori glanced at Hiruma, wondering for a moment what he had been about to call her. But she was now distracted by the building before them. A sign stood by the gate entrance. “Sakura Girls Middle School,” Mamori read out loud. She looked at the building once more. “I guess I used to study here… but what can I find here?”
“Looks like we’re about to find out,” said Hiruma as he looked at one of the buildings in the distance. And as Mamori looked in the same direction, she saw a shadow move swiftly into the building, and from that building, the sound of wailing began to grow louder.
~*~
Chapter 3 | Chapter 5
Rating: T (Yes, I brought the rating down)
Fandom: Eyeshield 21/CLAMP (Crossover)
Disclaimers: I do not own any of the characters used here. They belong to their respective owners, namely Riichiro Inagaki and Yuusuke Murata for Eyeshield 21 and CLAMP.
Summary: Anezaki Mamori wakes up to realize that she has been thrown into a different world with no memory of who she is or was. With the help of a familiar blonde demon and a mysterious woman, she goes on a journey to discover the truth behind this predicament and regain what she had lost. AU. Crossover. HiruMamo.
Notes: So I brought the rating down to T because as I looked at the kind of violence I intend to write they're not that violent after all. Mostly because I look at today's media and well, the elements I intend to put in this fic is not new. Disturbing at some points, yes, but not new. And if most young people can take it, then my fic isn't as "bad" as I thought it was. So yes, the rating has gone down.
Back to the story, I'm sorry for the delay. As mentioned before, NaNoWriMo and the hectic insanity of December kept me from writing. This chapter/story arc was, again, longer than I expected and just like the previous arc, is separated into two. So a lot of explanations are going on in here before we head on to Mamori/Hiruma actually DOING something. I intend to write the next chapter soon enough. Until then, enjoy!
Much love to moodylollipop for editing!
~*~
Two figures stood on either side of Mamori. Instinctively, she turned to see who they were but her body wouldn’t move, and all she could see from the narrow view her glancing eyes allowed her were mere dark silhouettes. Just like in every other dream she’d had.
“I can’t believe it’s happening…” says the girl on her left.
“Who would have thought, right?” the other girl said. “Do you remember when we tried to stop her from ever seeing him again?”
“Well, he never really did leave a good impression on us from afar…”
“You know, Mamori, you could have saved us all the trouble if you just told us a little more about what you two do most of the time.”
“It must have been very romantic! Oh, tell me it was, Mamori!”
Mamori felt the urge to laugh, grasping at words forming in her head, ready to explain whatever misunderstanding that seemed to be happening. But the words never came, and the two figures slowly dissolved into the background…
Then she found herself awake. Or that’s what it felt like anyway as everything felt less fuzzy and much clearer. Feeling a lot more conscious, she opened her eyes to an orange yellow sky. She could feel a light breeze passing through as she breathed in the warm air.
Drawing from the limited vault of her memory, she knew she wasn’t exactly awake, and neither was this reality. This should have depressed her, or at least bothered her. But at the moment she was just glad to have regained the ability to sense and feel. No longer was she trapped in that darkness that threatened to consume her. She was free, and she would surely find her way back.
“I see you’re awake.”
The familiar voice prompted Mamori to look away from the sky and into the green eyes of a blonde haired boy, who exuded confidence. He wore the same grin she had seen him use many, many times since she first laid eyes on him. She now wondered if that grin was a mask to hide what he was really feeling.
“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten who I am now,” he said to her, almost cackling. “That’d be a step backwards, and that’d be a fucking waste.”
“Hiruma,” she felt herself say instantly. For a moment, she wondered how she knew his name, and then the memory of her asking for his name before passing out slowly surfaced. She sat up and saw that she had been lying on the grass near a road. One look behind her told her they were at the edge of a playground, and Hiruma was sitting with his back against a tree, just a short distance from her. Her sword lay harmlessly next to her, winking slyly in the sun. “Where are we?” she asked before she could stop herself.
Hiruma cackled. “I have no idea myself,” he answered, looking around the playground. Again, Mamori the thought that he must be lying occurred to her. But she had no proof, and she didn’t think she had the right to say otherwise. “You know, if you keep waking up and asking that, we’re just going to waste a fuck load of time.”
“Right…” Mamori replied, nodding as she rubbed her temples. “Of course, this isn’t reality… this is actually a dream…”
“That’s right,” Hiruma nodded. “And you know why you’re here, right?”
Mamori slowly nodded as she answered, “To find out what really happened to me and get my memories back.”
“Good,” said Hiruma as he got up, dusting his worn out jeans. Mamori noticed that he had gun holsters to hold the guns she had seen him use many times since she first saw him. His jacket was, once more on Mamori’s lap. She guessed he must have put it on her as she slept. “Let’s get going then.”
Mamori stood up, slightly shaky as she held on to his jacket. “Where are we going?” she asked as she handed Hiruma’s jacket back to him.
“Honestly, if you keep asking me these questions every time you wake up…” he said, grinning as he took his jacket from her.
Mamori’s eyebrows creased in a small frown as it occurred to her that this world’s existence, what appeared and what might happen next depended solely on her. “Sorry, but I don’t recall everything as quickly as you do,” she scolded, but Hiruma merely cackled his dismissal as he headed towards the side of the road. Sighing, she picked up her sword, before hurrying after him.
They stood there for a moment, looking around as Mamori began to figure out where they should go. It felt stupid, standing around in the quickly waning evening light. And once more, Mamori had a nagging feeling that she should be really bothered by her current situation. Yet she really didn’t want to… She wasn’t sure why.
Taking a deep breath, Mamori decided to let her instincts take control. And with that she began to walk down the road, while Hiruma followed suit.
They kept silent as Mamori began to walk past some shops. They were all deserted, and everything was still and silent in this current world. “Hey Hiruma…” she said out loud.
“What?” he replied.
“Will this world be less silent when more of my memories return?” she asked, looking at him as he walked beside her.
“What, you want this place to be filled with fucking noise?” he asked her back.
“Not really noise just…” Mamori looked into what was supposed to be a boutique shop. But she could see nothing else inside but darkness. “Just some sounds, I guess. Well, at least I’m able to see more things now than before but… It’s so hard just knowing something’s missing and not quite figuring out what that is.”
Hiruma kept silent, a stern look on his face. Mamori observed him a little more as they kept walking and she began to wonder why Hiruma wasn’t answering her question.
They reached a traffic light, but the lights weren’t on and there were obviously no cars around. Even so, Mamori instinctively stopped by the roadside and looked down the road. “Eh?” she muttered, wondering why she did just that. Hiruma was walking ahead of her now and she sped up to reach his side. Everything felt just as strange and as weird as before, and yet this boy acted as if nothing was wrong.
“Hey, Hiruma…”
“What?” Hiruma asked, sounding a little impatient.
“Who are you really?” she asked. “What are you doing here? And why are you helping me?”
Hiruma stopped walking for a brief second. Mamori looked at him earnestly, but he didn’t turn back to look at her. Instead, he kept walking once more. “Who do you think I am?”
Mamori swallowed the urge to knock Hiruma with her sword. Why was he always asking her questions to get the answers? “I don’t know!” cried Mamori. “Why do you think I’m asking? I really wish you’d stop doing that because it’s not making this situation any better for me!”
Hiruma grinned, looking rather pleased at Mamori’s outburst. “Well, at least you’re fucking speaking up about it now. Took you long enough.”
“What?” went Mamori, feeling even more confused. “Just… just try to explain to me why you’re here with me, and why you’re helping me.”
“I guess you could say I’m linked to your subconscious…” Hiruma replied. “You created me.”
“I… did?” asked Mamori, trying to figure out how she could have done just that. “You mean… just like how this world was created… I created you, too?”
Mamori could not see Hiruma’s expression as he began to explain. “When you were trapped in that darkness… you were desperate to escape, right? That desperation, that desire was what created me.”
Mamori pondered over this even more. “So deep down, I wanted to be saved and that’s why you appeared? Calling out to me and keeping me from falling back down there?” Hiruma didn’t say anything, so she was sure that she must be on the right track. But soon another curious question popped in her head. “Then… Why in this shape?”
“Shape?” Hiruma turned to her, genuinely confused for once.
“N-no offence,” Mamori said quickly. “But you don’t exactly look like a typical hero … I mean, you curse a lot! And you tend to be pretty harsh and you look more like a threat than a savior… I just can’t believe I’d be able to envision someone like you.”
Hiruma’s face held that look of surprise for a mere second longer before he began to laugh. She wasn’t sure if that laughter was sinister, or if it was mocking her… but it was different from the cackle she was used to hearing. Somewhat similar, yes, but still different. Like he was merely very, very amused. “What’s so funny?” Mamori demanded.
Hiruma’s laughter slowly died down. “You never change…” she heard him mutter before he turned to her with his toothy grin. “Think about it for a moment. Aren’t I the complete opposite of you?”
Mamori blinked for a moment as she thought about it for a moment. He was right… everything about him was the complete opposite of who she was, or at least, who she thought she was. “So… you were created based on what I wanted to be a complete opposite of me?”
“Because you believe who you really are won’t do you any good,” said Hiruma. He then jerked his head, signaling to keep going. Mamori nodded and they began to walk on. There were less buildings now, but one big building stood right before them. Mamori knew that was where they had to go. Clutching on to her sword tightly, she marched on.
Yet the presence of the boy could not stop haunting her. Was he really what he said he was? Or was he lying? How could she even know he was lying? Did she really make him up, or was his image based on someone that she knew?
Someone who could be very important?
But the more Mamori thought about this, the more frustrating it became. The emotions swirling within her became unbearable. Then she felt the world around her shift a little, as though everything was being stretched. The shock of what she had done kept her frozen.
“Stop thinking so hard,” she heard him say. She looked at him as he stood before her, looking at her intensely. He’d worn that same look when Mamori had been stuck in the darkness and was afraid. It now dawned on her why she had been so transfixed by his eyes at that time. “You’re still not in the right state to figure everything out. Just take things as you go along… By the end of it all, you’ll have all the answers.”
“Really?” she murmured, as she felt the world shift back to how it was before.
“Yeah,” he replied, grin now back in place. He looked towards the building. “So I’m guessing our next stop to regain more of yourself is right over there.”
Mamori nodded her steps firm as she marched with Hiruma beside her, the building drawing close. “Hiruma…” she said once more, although Hiruma didn’t bother to reply. “I don’t really know who you are, or why exactly you’re here but… thank you. For some reason, I’m really glad you’re here with me.”
He grinned, although it didn’t seem to reach his eyes. “You talk way too much, Fucking Ma…” Hiruma’s voice trailed away as they approached the building.
Mamori glanced at Hiruma, wondering for a moment what he had been about to call her. But she was now distracted by the building before them. A sign stood by the gate entrance. “Sakura Girls Middle School,” Mamori read out loud. She looked at the building once more. “I guess I used to study here… but what can I find here?”
“Looks like we’re about to find out,” said Hiruma as he looked at one of the buildings in the distance. And as Mamori looked in the same direction, she saw a shadow move swiftly into the building, and from that building, the sound of wailing began to grow louder.
~*~
Chapter 3 | Chapter 5