i let a lot of people down by loving him

[cherrydecision]

i stayed home today b/c i couldnt stop crying. finally on the way to school ashley was like cheryl are you gonna make her go

Comments

its not his fault hes blind.

[anonymous]

if ethan is smart hell know he gave up the best thing in the world. i agree wiht the car thing how old is he? he should get one soon and you get yours in what a month of two. if i were him i would never have done that to you alex. he can make it work if he loves you like im sure hes said he does. you really are perfect and dont deserve to hurt like that. but hes the only one you want and he knows it. he doesnt love you anymore tho. or else hed take you. you said it yourself. hes getting pleasure out of watching you suffer for him. if only he could rmemeber the thigns you told me. hence- how you said you could never hold him close enough. maybe if he went back and read his ond journal entries form w.e his last journal was (comewihtme) or w.e then he would know. he made the biggest mistake of his life and he should never look at anyone else again. you really dont deserve this. i wish he saw you the way i did. i think you should go to redondo this weekend and see him one last time before he gets involved wiht whoever so you can kiss him

[cherrydecision]

i thought about that. the whole " hes getting pleasure out of watching you suffer for him" like keeping me around as a compliment. but i really dont think thats how he is. who are you by the way? thankyou for -im sorry you lost so much of yourself. and thank you for the idea of goign to redodno one last time. i might do that but only if he wants to and i dont know when i see him how i could not cry. i forgot about his old journal. i read it once all the way thro maybe if he did reead it again he could remember. he doesnt care to thats the thing. like my journal a few entries ago he commeneted something like if he doesnt love you i do hes dumb. well it was him. but its not fair to hate someone for not loving you.

i dont moan when i think about him, now i just cry.

the worst feeling int he world is loving someone more then they love you.
it funyn b/c just the ohter day. on.. tusday it was i was going to as him out.

hmm yeah ok

[deathtoglamour]

"if you loved me youd take me. kaitlyn told me too, she said hes gonna hurt you alex! i said no omg he loves me and you dont do that to someone you love. ten points to my kat."

umm yeah that's kind of fucked up to say but whatever. hope she is happy with her ten points.

[3vilsox]

fucking male.

[_iamthelorax_]

i'm sorry for your pain. but what about mine? what about me asking you out and you saying no? what about me telling you afterwards that if we were to ever get back together, it was up to you, because you'd broken my will to fight for it anymore? what about me waiting for months hoping it'd be the same again sometime? what about me realising you'd never ask, and finally moving on? and you feel i need to hurt more?????

w/e, who knows what could happen, maybe we'll get together someday, but i don't see how. i mean i'm done fighting for it, and i'm done waiting for it, and i'm done feeling like i'm the only one fighting or waiting. its all fuking on you.

[cherrydecision]

actually in the begining of summer i said i wanted to make it again and i still ahve the convo b/c i made it a melo entry. you cant really say your the only one "fighting" for or "waiting" when i told you i wanted it again. and if it really was all on me id already have you b/c yeah i asked you about it the other night on the phone. once i told you that one time you never mentioned it again so you were kidna sending mixed signals. ie- telling me you want to be wiht me blah blash bnlah im perfect and then sometimes nto even talking to me. you also said you just wanted to be friends at one point. that is friends that still ahve the benifits of hooking up... o and love eachother.
xx