Comments | cheryltheperil: List of reasons to kill Ilya

cheryltheperil

List of reasons to kill Ilya

Jul 03, 2007 21:44

1. He repeatedly, knowingly and with intention to annoy refused to let me ask him the important question which I had just spent an hour desperately trying to remember (03/05/07).
2. He told me that spending the rest of his life with me would be a punishment.
3. He has on several occasions licked me in places I did not want to be licked - including ( Read more... )

Comments 18

dr_paradox July 3 2007, 21:18:00 UTC

13: He's Ilya.
14: He's a Pedantic little sod when he wants to be
15: He fails to realise that a garden needs looking after more than once in a blue moon

My sympathies. I lived with him for a year.

cheryltheperil July 4 2007, 21:41:56 UTC

I agree with reasons 13 and 14. As for 15, I think it's technically untrue since he does realise gardens need looking after in theory, he just never finds the time to actually do it what with working and gaming. Or perhaps it would be better to say gaming and working?

cosmic_llin July 3 2007, 21:23:23 UTC

He clearly needs to be destroyed after lengthy and kinky torture.

cheryltheperil July 4 2007, 21:42:34 UTC

Yes... He's not at all opposed to this suggestion actually :p

ninja_kermit July 4 2007, 11:26:11 UTC

Tee-hee

I have nothing more to add.

cheryltheperil July 4 2007, 21:43:04 UTC

You're a goit

dr_paradox July 5 2007, 19:50:38 UTC

I say! You've got a point.

keletkezes July 4 2007, 12:57:57 UTC

16: And the bathroom. I've seen the list...

Get a pointy stick. Grow huge nails. Cut your toenails so they're pointy (works really well for kicking in bed, but ruins socks). Grow your hair REALLY long and hit him with it when it's wet. A lot. Sew up his trouserlegs. Sew his trouserlegs together.

Soft signs are higher in the mouth if they're being pronounced correctly. Your inability to recognise may well be whoever's inability to pronounce them.

I, unfortunately, read this just before receiving a phonecall so was almost giggling while answering it...

cheryltheperil July 4 2007, 21:45:20 UTC

Lol - I like these suggestions! Ilya was less impressed with these though, claims he doesn't deserve any of it. So not only is he a git, but he also has no proper sense of shame!

keletkezes July 5 2007, 12:07:46 UTC

DId you deserve any of that treatment? No? Well, what's he complaining about, then?! ;P

dr_paradox July 5 2007, 19:50:04 UTC

Hmm the best trousers to sew the legs shut on are Suit ones as they have a lining high up. Stich that together.

Errrm

Deep heat on the pads of hid glasses. Just a small smear.

little_nicklin July 4 2007, 21:06:46 UTC

Zac has claimed that I don't have to put up with half of this. He has conveniently forgotten calling me a sea cow / evil dwarf, tickling me until I fall out of bed, and attempting to spit an aniseed ball into my mouth. Oh and he tried to lick my eye once.

I think all men are like this. However, we have managed to live together for a year and not killed each other, so we must be doing something right!

cheryltheperil July 4 2007, 21:50:57 UTC

Oh dear. He's giving Ilya more nasty ideas - says they should feed off each other's creativity.

Ilya has been trying to lick my eyeball for the past 6 months. Hasn't managed it yet, but he usually takes the opportunity to lick my nostril instead while I have my eyes closed. Grrr.

As for living together without killing each other, I'm not sure if we can emulate that feat. I've only been here just over a week and I'm going slightly potty with increasingly violent tendencies. I will not be held responsible for my actions!