Something I like about how you write is that you always remember the punch that goes at the end of the poem. That last line has to be stellar. One possible revision: break the last line at "like a dream..." so that it's like, a gasp! her smell hangs in the air - break for emphasis then the last line is cathartic but still conclusive.
I love how your poetry style actually fits in with the character you present yourself to be - this kind of aloof uninterested bitch. It's fucking awesome.
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a gasp!
her smell hangs in the air - break for emphasis
then the last line is cathartic but still conclusive.
I love how your poetry style actually fits in with the character you present yourself to be - this kind of aloof uninterested bitch. It's fucking awesome.
Love you!
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