(no subject)
the only way i can describe it is creeping death. not to get all 80's metalhead. it was a cross between fog and some kind of spirit/energy. you couldnt keep it out of anywhere--houses, cars, buildings. it went through even the tiniest opening it could find. it killed everything it touched, in a slow, tortuously painful way. there were bodies everywhere, hideously twisted and clearly wracked with pain before dying. most of them had their eyes open and all i could see in them was sheer terror. somehow i found my way to my parents house, to try to warn them. to protect them. but it got there right after i did. it killed my parents as i watched and i couldnt do anything to help them, even though they were reaching out for me. i outran it and tried to hide. but it came up on me from behind and wrapped itself around and through my feet. it felt like the inside of my body was being filled with some other living, utterly malignant organism. taking over my cells and tearing each one of them apart. i've never felt such pain and helplessness and isolation. i couldnt even scream. i woke up just as everything was going fuzzy and dark as it destroyed my brain. when i woke up, it was dark in my room and my body felt the way it had in the dream and i was so terrified i couldnt even breathe. it took me a few minutes to get myself calm enough to move and realize that i was just still sick, and thats why i felt the way i did. couldnt go back to sleep for a couple hours i was so panicked and anxious. when i fell asleep again, i had a second dream that i dont remember as well, but there are a few pieces that are stuck in my head. walking through some sort of estate/large area of land that was filled with brooks and ponds. and all the water was filled with dead fish. some of them had been eating each other and were still locked together even after dying; some had swallowed up to half the other fish. then i was in some sort of gathering. a party or something, i dont remember. a lot of people were there that i know, most of them who i would consider my close friends. and most of them were laughing at me maliciously. i was pretending that it didnt bother me, that i couldnt hear them. but eventually i couldnt take it anymore and started crying and went outside. i woke up to the sound of them laughing even harder.
personally, im sick of my head.
and waking up alone with it and trying to pull my shit together enough to function again.