Written For You
The chirping of the birds was heard, the sun rays shone through the glass window. The curtains still half opened, I wonder what time is it now. Finally, I saved from a life crisis, I could die if I didn't got a donor, I owe my life to him.
I felt a sore pain, maybe the side effect from the surgeon, so I just can barely moving. I can't wait until I'm out from here. I wanna go home, and meet Taemin. I wanna apologize to him for breaking up our relationship and make it up to him. I still love him, very love him, actually.
'Knock knock'
Someone knocked the door, "Please come in!" I shouted.
It was Key-hyung and Onew-hyung. Their faces were....... Well, I can say, resemble of corpse. Paler than the wall.
"Hey you guys! What that kind of those faces? What happen?"
"Well, Minho, do you miss Taemin?" Key asked me, but a glimpse of sadness written from his eyes. Why?
"Of course I do. A lot."
"Are you feeling okay now?" Onew checked me. He worried me that much? Wow. It rare to see him like that.
"Yup. Where's Taemin?"
".........Taemin gave this for you. Read it and you'll know. We out for a moment." He handed me a letter. I open it and read with concern.
First thing I saw, he wrote this on his birthday. Was this is his birthday wishes?
July 18th 2011
To: My first and only love, Minho-hyung♥
I wrote this as I thinking about you.. Well, not only you, but us actually. The story of us by me.
Starts from how we met on October, I saw you lying on the grass. You caught my attention, I parked my bike, and then I walked toward you. You saw me standing beside the oak trees, you asked me to sit beside you. There’s a silent moment between us, but you broke it out. We introduced ourselves, had a small talk, enjoying the breeze together. I felt so right, you’re a stranger that I know just a hour ago, but it’s like I had known you for a long time.
Soon, time left and I didn’t want to bid a goodbye to you, but you said “Hey, let’s meet up here tomorrow!” with that one last sentence, sparks of joy flying in my mind. We got closer afterwards. 9th of December we celebrated your 21st birthday, I give you a birthday cake, you blew the candles, then we ate our cake. I had cream on the corner of my lips, I couldn’t lick it, and then you brought your face and licked it for me. Your tongue touched mine. My face became red and you laughed me out. I pouted, but then I laughed too.
Finally, end of December you confessed to me, not spoken any words out, just closed the gap between our face, lips touching, eyes closed, arms wrapped around both the bodies. It wasn’t the kisses that we’ve seen in the movies, but it’s the sweetest one that I can even remember. Do you remember this moment? I hope you did. We often to spend our time together, I just felt happiness that no one can buy in this world. This made me love you even more.
But on the first encounter of March, you said that you want to break up with me. I don’t believe you, so I said “You joking right?” tried to put a fake laugh, but no, you’re not joking about this. Then you left me stoned, broken-hearted on the corner of the café. As a man, I’m tried to not cry, I successes. But the following days, I was a crying mess. I’m not moving anywhere, just here on my bed. My heart was disarray, thinking what I did wrong to you. I tried to move on, but this heart won’t follow.
Abruptly, Key-hyung knocked my door, at first I didn’t budge and kept ignoring it. Soon, I opened the door for him, let him told me what happened. He said that you need a kidney transplant but you didn’t find a match. You broke up with me because the doctor said that you didn’t have much hope if you didn’t find the right donor.
Of course I’m shocked. I’m really, really shocked. You breaking up with me because you didn't wanna hurt me, but this reality made me torn apart. A part of me was mad at you. Why you didn’t tell me about this, we didn’t need to break up. And the other part of me told me to be a donor for you. So, I did it, and we match.
The doctor told me the risk of this transplant surgeon; I have fifty-fifty chance to survive. If I made it, I’ll live and be able to be with you again. But if God make a different decision for me, I’ll abide by that. I told doctor and Key-hyung to keep this a secret, or till I leaving this earth.The day came and I was nervous. I need to relax, try my best for you, for your live. I saw you on the other bed, unconscious. That sleeping face, I never forget it, I smiled as roll of tears wetting my cheeks. Later, the operation starts. They inject me with aesthetic; I felt the weight of my body gone and the lights was beaming then off.
The few hours passed and the operation finally done. Our room separated, so I could not see you. It’s much better like this. I stayed a day at the hospital; Key-hyung took care of me. But I felt my body wasn’t feels right. My energy keep drained a lot, sweating non stop 24/7. The doctor said, I didn’t make it, I failed, and this is the side-effect of the risk. I just can surrender, and besides, I don’t have any family relations. My parents already passed away years ago. The person I only had is you. And Key-hyung too.
So, this God’s decision made me to write this letter. For you, only you, before I go. I write this from the bottom of my heart, all my thought about you, and all my love. I still, want to hold your hand, pulled into your warm embrace, inhaling the scents of yours, spend the nights with you, and feel your kisses over my body.
Please, you need to know that I will still love you, even I hurt.
I still longing for you, even you’re not.
I’m waiting for you, even you forgot about me.
I need you, my heart fated to be yours.
And as the world keeps spinning, I’ll at your side even I'm invicible.
I never can move on, even you broke me.
Because, you’re the reason why I live, and why I breathe.
I love you, Minho. I love you than everything.
I gave you my kidney, so a part of my body was inside of you. I feel no regret, I think I’m doing the right thing. Please take care of it. I give you my trust, because when you read this, I’m gone. I’m not a part of this world anymore. And I’m sorry I can’t say a last farewell. Can I say it here? Okay, here is it.
Dear Minho-hyung, with this last letter for you, I said a goodbye.
Goodbye, and see you later in the next live, I wish we can meet each other again, and loving you more than today. We’ll be together and live with better life, spend our old days together. Thank you for giving me much love, taught me many things, and more.
I’ll eternally loving you. Please have a goodlife, look for someone better for you, the one who's deserve you. A sincere love for you.
Sarang, sarang, saranghae.
143.
Lee Taemin♥
Ps: do you remember this?
^^;; ♥ ㅍ_ㅍ
Taeminho~ Jjang~!
Our names that you carve on the oak tree!
Kekekeke, bye hyung~
I miss you already :(.
"Taemin......... Taemin......... Taemin................." I sobbed really hard, only Taemin's name out from my lips, like no other things I know.
"Sorry Taemin, I'm giving back your kidney if you will awake and live! We will celebrate your birthday together, like mine! I'll give anything you want! If you need me now, just run to me and I will hug and kiss you! Just please be alive! Awake now! I need you than the air I breathe! Please comeback! Please, please! I was a crying mess more than you! I loved you so much, I do!" This scream was dedicated to Taemin, the reply for his letter.
Why? Why he had to leave me, he could let me gone, I've had no idea when I have to live without him. What I am will be when he wasn't here, wasn't mine, wasn't giving his love.......? What can I do?Just like you, you're the reason why I live, breathing, why I'm still have a smile on my face.
Without you everything was nothing.
I can't move on, because my heart still loves you.
I'm yours Taemin. Forever.
Every laughs and tears, it yours.
Lee Taemin, my heart fated to be yours too.
Our love story never have an ending, because our love is eternal.
I felt a sore pain, maybe the side effect from the surgeon, so I just can barely moving. I can't wait until I'm out from here. I wanna go home, and meet Taemin. I wanna apologize to him for breaking up our relationship and make it up to him. I still love him, very love him, actually.
'Knock knock'
Someone knocked the door, "Please come in!" I shouted.
It was Key-hyung and Onew-hyung. Their faces were....... Well, I can say, resemble of corpse. Paler than the wall.
"Hey you guys! What that kind of those faces? What happen?"
"Well, Minho, do you miss Taemin?" Key asked me, but a glimpse of sadness written from his eyes. Why?
"Of course I do. A lot."
"Are you feeling okay now?" Onew checked me. He worried me that much? Wow. It rare to see him like that.
"Yup. Where's Taemin?"
".........Taemin gave this for you. Read it and you'll know. We out for a moment." He handed me a letter. I open it and read with concern.
First thing I saw, he wrote this on his birthday. Was this is his birthday wishes?
July 18th 2011
To: My first and only love, Minho-hyung♥
I wrote this as I thinking about you.. Well, not only you, but us actually. The story of us by me.
Starts from how we met on October, I saw you lying on the grass. You caught my attention, I parked my bike, and then I walked toward you. You saw me standing beside the oak trees, you asked me to sit beside you. There’s a silent moment between us, but you broke it out. We introduced ourselves, had a small talk, enjoying the breeze together. I felt so right, you’re a stranger that I know just a hour ago, but it’s like I had known you for a long time.
Soon, time left and I didn’t want to bid a goodbye to you, but you said “Hey, let’s meet up here tomorrow!” with that one last sentence, sparks of joy flying in my mind. We got closer afterwards. 9th of December we celebrated your 21st birthday, I give you a birthday cake, you blew the candles, then we ate our cake. I had cream on the corner of my lips, I couldn’t lick it, and then you brought your face and licked it for me. Your tongue touched mine. My face became red and you laughed me out. I pouted, but then I laughed too.
Finally, end of December you confessed to me, not spoken any words out, just closed the gap between our face, lips touching, eyes closed, arms wrapped around both the bodies. It wasn’t the kisses that we’ve seen in the movies, but it’s the sweetest one that I can even remember. Do you remember this moment? I hope you did. We often to spend our time together, I just felt happiness that no one can buy in this world. This made me love you even more.
But on the first encounter of March, you said that you want to break up with me. I don’t believe you, so I said “You joking right?” tried to put a fake laugh, but no, you’re not joking about this. Then you left me stoned, broken-hearted on the corner of the café. As a man, I’m tried to not cry, I successes. But the following days, I was a crying mess. I’m not moving anywhere, just here on my bed. My heart was disarray, thinking what I did wrong to you. I tried to move on, but this heart won’t follow.
Abruptly, Key-hyung knocked my door, at first I didn’t budge and kept ignoring it. Soon, I opened the door for him, let him told me what happened. He said that you need a kidney transplant but you didn’t find a match. You broke up with me because the doctor said that you didn’t have much hope if you didn’t find the right donor.
Of course I’m shocked. I’m really, really shocked. You breaking up with me because you didn't wanna hurt me, but this reality made me torn apart. A part of me was mad at you. Why you didn’t tell me about this, we didn’t need to break up. And the other part of me told me to be a donor for you. So, I did it, and we match.
The doctor told me the risk of this transplant surgeon; I have fifty-fifty chance to survive. If I made it, I’ll live and be able to be with you again. But if God make a different decision for me, I’ll abide by that. I told doctor and Key-hyung to keep this a secret, or till I leaving this earth.The day came and I was nervous. I need to relax, try my best for you, for your live. I saw you on the other bed, unconscious. That sleeping face, I never forget it, I smiled as roll of tears wetting my cheeks. Later, the operation starts. They inject me with aesthetic; I felt the weight of my body gone and the lights was beaming then off.
The few hours passed and the operation finally done. Our room separated, so I could not see you. It’s much better like this. I stayed a day at the hospital; Key-hyung took care of me. But I felt my body wasn’t feels right. My energy keep drained a lot, sweating non stop 24/7. The doctor said, I didn’t make it, I failed, and this is the side-effect of the risk. I just can surrender, and besides, I don’t have any family relations. My parents already passed away years ago. The person I only had is you. And Key-hyung too.
So, this God’s decision made me to write this letter. For you, only you, before I go. I write this from the bottom of my heart, all my thought about you, and all my love. I still, want to hold your hand, pulled into your warm embrace, inhaling the scents of yours, spend the nights with you, and feel your kisses over my body.
Please, you need to know that I will still love you, even I hurt.
I still longing for you, even you’re not.
I’m waiting for you, even you forgot about me.
I need you, my heart fated to be yours.
And as the world keeps spinning, I’ll at your side even I'm invicible.
I never can move on, even you broke me.
Because, you’re the reason why I live, and why I breathe.
I love you, Minho. I love you than everything.
I gave you my kidney, so a part of my body was inside of you. I feel no regret, I think I’m doing the right thing. Please take care of it. I give you my trust, because when you read this, I’m gone. I’m not a part of this world anymore. And I’m sorry I can’t say a last farewell. Can I say it here? Okay, here is it.
Dear Minho-hyung, with this last letter for you, I said a goodbye.
Goodbye, and see you later in the next live, I wish we can meet each other again, and loving you more than today. We’ll be together and live with better life, spend our old days together. Thank you for giving me much love, taught me many things, and more.
I’ll eternally loving you. Please have a goodlife, look for someone better for you, the one who's deserve you. A sincere love for you.
Sarang, sarang, saranghae.
143.
Lee Taemin♥
Ps: do you remember this?
^^;; ♥ ㅍ_ㅍ
Taeminho~ Jjang~!
Our names that you carve on the oak tree!
Kekekeke, bye hyung~
I miss you already :(.
"Taemin......... Taemin......... Taemin................." I sobbed really hard, only Taemin's name out from my lips, like no other things I know.
"Sorry Taemin, I'm giving back your kidney if you will awake and live! We will celebrate your birthday together, like mine! I'll give anything you want! If you need me now, just run to me and I will hug and kiss you! Just please be alive! Awake now! I need you than the air I breathe! Please comeback! Please, please! I was a crying mess more than you! I loved you so much, I do!" This scream was dedicated to Taemin, the reply for his letter.
Why? Why he had to leave me, he could let me gone, I've had no idea when I have to live without him. What I am will be when he wasn't here, wasn't mine, wasn't giving his love.......? What can I do?Just like you, you're the reason why I live, breathing, why I'm still have a smile on my face.
Without you everything was nothing.
I can't move on, because my heart still loves you.
I'm yours Taemin. Forever.
Every laughs and tears, it yours.
Lee Taemin, my heart fated to be yours too.
Our love story never have an ending, because our love is eternal.