4th Story | Sitcom fodder

[chest_forest]

[It seems, that during the course of the current insanity happening in town, Varric's quiet little home shared with the Champion of Kirkwall has become just a bit more crowded thanks to the events of this post. Not that it's so bad, Varric has had the mage to poke fun at, however Isabela is still masterful with that sharp tongue of hers. Not that

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[justiceis_hard]

[Oh, you can bet Anders is still around. Probably lurking in a quiet room... by himself.]

[... that's not a good sign. Not really. But that's what happens when Mayfield finds out you haven't killed your target.]

[chest_forest]

[Varric will be standing in the doorway of that quiet room, that concerned look on his face that Anders has seen many times before.]

How you doing there, Blondie?

[justiceis_hard]

[He should be startled. Or surprised to see a human version of his friend -- because that is going to take some getting used to.]

[But... he can't quite muster up the will to be either surprised, startled, or bewildered. Everything feels... detached.]

I'm fine.

[Then his expression clouds, and the detachment seems to retreat.]

... I think.

[chest_forest]

That was pretty confident.

You got one of those letters everyone's been talking about, right? Did you take yours out, or has anyone come for you yet?

You know we're not going to let them have you.

[Varric doesn't sound too terribly worried, but he also does sound just a bit more serious than usual. Nobody's killing a friend of Varric's.]

phone

[hontobakabaka]

"I didn't get a letter either, but, enough people did that the streets aren't safe at all. Maybe this is one of those times when the adults would be better off drinking instead of paranoid and jumpy. I'm not sure."

[chest_forest]

By the sound of it, this is one situation where alcohol would just make things a whole lot worse.

Paranoia doesn't mix with that very well.

[hontobakabaka]

"Oh. Then how would you suggest dealing with this? I know very little about the adult world."

[chest_forest]

Well, the adult world isn't too much different from the world of children. They never really grow out of throwing fits, being greedy and being paranoid in my experience, at least. The only difference is more freedom to do it, and more profits to be had from it.

The only way this situation would be any less insane would be if everyone were able to think about things a little more. That's kind of like asking the sun to dim the lights a bit, though.

[wantasammich]

[Hawke is lounging in the living room while Varric is on the phone, and she can't help but chuckle at his comment about their guests. Despite her mirth, though, she seems very ill at ease, the effects of not having killed her target yet.]

At least I know everyone's safe, this way. It'll be just like old times!

Since I had Varric on auto-pilot, let's just assume he's in the know about Hawke's letter. xD

[chest_forest]

Well, I had my own suite in the good old days.

[Varric settles in his chair, grabbing a bottle of the creature and just taking a long draw.]

You got a target too, right? Anyone punished you for not taking 'em out yet?

That's fine |D

[wantasammich]

Alas, you cannot have everything you desire, Varric. I'm sure you'll pull through.

[At his inquiry, she frowns, holding her head in her hands.]

Punished? No. I was sent a letter -- our captors aren't very pleased that I haven't committed any random acts of murder yet.

[chest_forest]

Well, we're just going to have to show them that Marian Hawke doesn't commit random acts of murder, aren't we?

I'd say we send them a message back, tell them we've called time-out and we're not playing anymore.