Daddy's girl no more!

Jun 14, 2012 01:23





Three days before father's day and I get into a fight with my old man. You know I missed the days were he was everything to me. The man I looked up to, the one who saved me for everything. My hero, my friend, my everything. I don't know where it all went wrong but ever since my grandmother died he changed. At first I thought it was okay but then it all went down hill

After my grandmother died a couple months later he came out of the closet... Which the sad part iof this is I remember exactly everything that happened (I was sitting on the coffee table playing Zelda Ocirana of Time, In the spider house *creepy cause I hate spiders* and he comes in with his BF who asked me what would I say if they had got married... I just started laughing.... yeah...) anyhoo. I was fine with it. It didn't bother me at all I was still grieving over the woman who raised us both.

Shortly after that I moved in with him and said BF because I was being abused by my mother's now ex husband (my little sister's father.). Which was all good and well until things like clubs and computers and friends and BFs seem to become more important. But then again Trinity (my father's "Husband"'s*at this point* daughter was in the picture.) was in the picture. Don't get me wrong I lover the girl to pieces. She is still like a little sister to me. But My point this far is she was more important... I was just... there.

Children should be seen and not heard... right? Well even that's not accurate. Not seen and not heard was more like it. Forced to watch Trin and her cousins or just her so they could smoke pot that's what it was like in that house and it stayed like that until they broke up my sophomore year of high school and this is why I started to rebel, where I stopped listening and did crazy and stupid shit in hopes to get his attention. But instead it drove us even further apart.

My father at this point worked 2 jobs and was never home. and when he was he was either on the computer in front of the tv OR out with friends. HELL On christmas eve or day (can't remember which) all because he doesn't celebrate it anymore because he's a true pagan, he left to go hang with friends and left me home alone. Needless to say Christmas has always been a hard holiday for me since my grandmother passed so him leaving made it even a harder.

I had finally had it with all this and started skipping classes skipping school drinking smoking (cigarettes and pot) having sex with people 8 to 12 years older then me. I did anything that would piss him off that would hopefully get his attention back on me... Instead he found someone new and steady and ended up leaving for RI. I moved back in with my mother (didn't last long) and went back to school.

Once again mishap happens between me and my mom's BF at the time and I move back with dad to RI. He spent most of his time with CJ (the BF) or in front of the computer and I sat in the background. The only two times I ever heard he was proud of me was when I got all A's and B's on my report card (I never tried hard in school) and when I finally graduated. I wanted to go to college right after but CJ wanted me to get a job. Dad was working on trying to find something (sorta) and I got kinda screwed and didn't end up going.

After going on a small vacation while my mother was up here I went to a friend's house and shortly after found a job and moved back home to mass.... To make this story a bit shorter, I bounce from place to place for a while after 3 years of living where I am now moved back in with him, his NEW bf and his roommate kelly, he moved out shortly after I moved in. Left me with a psycho and well he went off with the boy toy who dumped him shortly after.

In the end as of recently it's been fight after fight and now I say I am done... The man is out of my life and is going to stay that. As much as I love him I can not stand this anymore. I'm done.

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