にじゅうご
26 hours to 2012, hurrah.
Long post ahead so I'll put it under a cut.
'11 was a really different year, there were really turbulent times, but also some of the best moments of my teenage life.
Thinking back, right at the start there was OM.
To be very honest, this year's OM was 80% a screw and 20% everything else.
On the outside, we were all "SHANGHAI DOMINATION FUCK YES" but we ourselves knew better than anyone else that this team was lousy, and would never be as strong, as happy as before.
The afternoons and evenings spent at the carpark (mostly alone or with Wanxin) were really memorable though :')
So many times I wanted to just throw everything and walk away, but we pulled through, and we made it to Shanghai.
No matter what happened, no matter how distant we have become, I still love OM and my OM mates.
OBS...I don't know. Enjoyed it lots, but nine months later I really don't feel much of an attachment.
Piano lessons ahh.
2011 was a horrible year for piano, and also a very sad end to my 11 years with this instrument.
I still remember the night after my exam face full of snot wanting to die haha.
I love the piano, I really do.
But maybe I'm just not suited for such artistic things lol.
I'll continue playing though! Just not sit for examinations.
Don't think I can make it for diploma with my hamburger hands though.
(Excuses, excuses.)
Pfft.
Also, I started to like NYES quite a lot more this year.
Tan Rachel mmmmnnnnn.
The first time I've had such a big senior crush heh.
Sure I've stalked some seniors on facebook/lj whatever but I've never felt so much admiration for a senior before.
When we hugged during graduation ceremony I was seriously on the verge of tears lol.
But she'd think I'm weird for feeling so emotional to someone I'm not all that close to.
Don't worry, I think I'm weird too.
And the last text message she sent to me with the <3 I practically melted.
And for some reason I got into exco'12? Haha Idek.
But cca has never been as fun as this year.
I'll work hard in 2012!
Thank you Rachel, I'll miss you so much :3
And of course there was the Japan exchange program <3
Met so many great people, both from Hwa Chong and Keio.
I'd give anything to let time freeze in those 6 days.
日本、愛してるよ。
But if I had to choose one thing to sum up 2011, it would be fangirls.
I met you guys at my lowest point, when everything just seemed so meaningless and empty.
You guys made my nights on twitter happy, gave me things to look forward to.
Even though I may not mean much to any of you, y'all have helped me a lot, and I'm really grateful ♥
Let's continue our insane fangirling (:
Viva fangirls, viva viva fangirls.
Into a new class, 306. It's been a pretty awkward year with them.
Actually, it feels like I've only known them for a day.
I've barely talked to half of my classmates lol.
Although I might (MIGHT) prefer this kind of un-bonded, way too quiet class over 210'10.
Last year was just a whirlpool of class politics. So I have to say I'm thankful for this peaceful, albeit slightly cold class.
406 next year, hmmn I don't know, maybe it would be best if we just stayed the way we are.
Better if we don't get caught up in other's business.
I personally think I've changed quite a lot since when I first entered NY.
Frankly speaking, I was probably a real brat in sec 1 haha.
Such a attention seeker I feel disgusted with myself now that I think about it.
Then sec 2 came, friendship problems, family problems, betrayals, academic problems lol etc etc etc etc for the rest of my life.
I picked up one of my worst habits last year, but I think I've sorta managed to kick it. (Finally)
I became a pessimist haha.
"Will it be relief when I finally let go" I've always wondered and still am wondering.
I've lost so much confidence along the way that I feel inferior to almost everything and anything.
This is what NY does to the ones who aren't suited, IMO.
I used to say it a lot last year, in this school, you're either nurtured into "respected members of the society", or you're just left to die.
After 3 years I still don't know if I love or hate this school.
I do wonder all the time though, what I would be if I had gone somewhere else.
It's truly the survival of the fittest.
Well...this turned out to be a pretty reflective, long post.
I'm sure no one will bother to read all this crap but the 37 minutes I've spent to type this has cleared my mind quite a bit.
I will...I'll try to gain more confidence in the coming year.
And try to patch up things with my parents.
Try, not will.
Don't have the courage and determination to be sure it'll happen.
Welcome 2012, I'm not ready for you yet.
Long post ahead so I'll put it under a cut.
'11 was a really different year, there were really turbulent times, but also some of the best moments of my teenage life.
Thinking back, right at the start there was OM.
To be very honest, this year's OM was 80% a screw and 20% everything else.
On the outside, we were all "SHANGHAI DOMINATION FUCK YES" but we ourselves knew better than anyone else that this team was lousy, and would never be as strong, as happy as before.
The afternoons and evenings spent at the carpark (mostly alone or with Wanxin) were really memorable though :')
So many times I wanted to just throw everything and walk away, but we pulled through, and we made it to Shanghai.
No matter what happened, no matter how distant we have become, I still love OM and my OM mates.
OBS...I don't know. Enjoyed it lots, but nine months later I really don't feel much of an attachment.
Piano lessons ahh.
2011 was a horrible year for piano, and also a very sad end to my 11 years with this instrument.
I still remember the night after my exam face full of snot wanting to die haha.
I love the piano, I really do.
But maybe I'm just not suited for such artistic things lol.
I'll continue playing though! Just not sit for examinations.
Don't think I can make it for diploma with my hamburger hands though.
(Excuses, excuses.)
Pfft.
Also, I started to like NYES quite a lot more this year.
Tan Rachel mmmmnnnnn.
The first time I've had such a big senior crush heh.
Sure I've stalked some seniors on facebook/lj whatever but I've never felt so much admiration for a senior before.
When we hugged during graduation ceremony I was seriously on the verge of tears lol.
But she'd think I'm weird for feeling so emotional to someone I'm not all that close to.
Don't worry, I think I'm weird too.
And the last text message she sent to me with the <3 I practically melted.
And for some reason I got into exco'12? Haha Idek.
But cca has never been as fun as this year.
I'll work hard in 2012!
Thank you Rachel, I'll miss you so much :3
And of course there was the Japan exchange program <3
Met so many great people, both from Hwa Chong and Keio.
I'd give anything to let time freeze in those 6 days.
日本、愛してるよ。
But if I had to choose one thing to sum up 2011, it would be fangirls.
I met you guys at my lowest point, when everything just seemed so meaningless and empty.
You guys made my nights on twitter happy, gave me things to look forward to.
Even though I may not mean much to any of you, y'all have helped me a lot, and I'm really grateful ♥
Let's continue our insane fangirling (:
Viva fangirls, viva viva fangirls.
Into a new class, 306. It's been a pretty awkward year with them.
Actually, it feels like I've only known them for a day.
I've barely talked to half of my classmates lol.
Although I might (MIGHT) prefer this kind of un-bonded, way too quiet class over 210'10.
Last year was just a whirlpool of class politics. So I have to say I'm thankful for this peaceful, albeit slightly cold class.
406 next year, hmmn I don't know, maybe it would be best if we just stayed the way we are.
Better if we don't get caught up in other's business.
I personally think I've changed quite a lot since when I first entered NY.
Frankly speaking, I was probably a real brat in sec 1 haha.
Such a attention seeker I feel disgusted with myself now that I think about it.
Then sec 2 came, friendship problems, family problems, betrayals, academic problems lol etc etc etc etc for the rest of my life.
I picked up one of my worst habits last year, but I think I've sorta managed to kick it. (Finally)
I became a pessimist haha.
"Will it be relief when I finally let go" I've always wondered and still am wondering.
I've lost so much confidence along the way that I feel inferior to almost everything and anything.
This is what NY does to the ones who aren't suited, IMO.
I used to say it a lot last year, in this school, you're either nurtured into "respected members of the society", or you're just left to die.
After 3 years I still don't know if I love or hate this school.
I do wonder all the time though, what I would be if I had gone somewhere else.
It's truly the survival of the fittest.
Well...this turned out to be a pretty reflective, long post.
I'm sure no one will bother to read all this crap but the 37 minutes I've spent to type this has cleared my mind quite a bit.
I will...I'll try to gain more confidence in the coming year.
And try to patch up things with my parents.
Try, not will.
Don't have the courage and determination to be sure it'll happen.
Welcome 2012, I'm not ready for you yet.