Stop this train

[chibi_nyago]

Last night was pretty bad.

I got home and sat in the dark for like...hmmm idk 3 hours? I had the tv on but i wasnt really watching it. I just walked into the apartment at 5:10 and sat on the couch until almost 8:30 just looking at the wall. It got a little hard to see things so i eventually turned on a light.

Im not trying to scare anyone but again,

Comments

[aterese]

You should call if you want to talk sometime. Otherwise I know how when I feel crappy I feel like I'm just bugging people and unloading on them or w/e. Drop a few lines or something otherwise. I know you have this journal obviously but do you ever just scribble and stuff besides your drawings? Maybe it would be good to pinpoint what is really wrong if you just write anything you're thinking down. Otherwise if you can't figure it out to be anything specifically maybe its your new pills??

<3<3

[chibi_nyago]

I feel that way too, like if i talk to someone i sound like im complaining or just sounding like im 14.
I dont even draw anymore becuase i dont feel like doing anything. I just sit.
I know its not the new pills because ive been feeling like this for...god knows, maybe 10 months? maybe longer. Its just recently that ive publically voiced it. I few people knew but they never really did or said anything about it.
I go in spurts like this, ill feel fine for a long time and then depressed for a long time.
blah.
I know whats wrong too. job (lack of), money (lack of lol), friends, location. Its a lot of things, ive gone over it many times. There are personal issues that i have but i believe that this is mostly due to environmental issues.
If i had gotten the job here, i was going to use the insurance to go see someone but well, im not getting the job and it will be a bit before i can afford to see anyone.
I just feel like people think i sound whiney or like im emo but its really not. Its so much more than that.

poopy. <3 <3