(no subject)
I feel so bad right now that I feel like crying. Actually... I am.
With everything that is happenning in Japan right now I just feel so bad that I have other things and thoughts occupying my mind. I've already been called insensitive just for saying that I felt awkward for mentioning the wedding because of Japan. Now I don't really know how that works out but it fucking hurts.
Or maybe it was because I mentioned that I'm battling conjunctivitis for the third time in the period of three weeks... Whatever the case... it still hurts.
My heart breaks and goes out to everyone in Japan. I was shit worried about the friends I have over there. I was worried for everyone over there. Seriously. It's heart breaking to read and watch what's going on whilst not being able to do something.
But at the same time... I can't exactly help it that my sister got married on the same day that all the shit happenned. I can't help it that I had other things to occupy me. I can't fucking help it that I had to focus all my attention on something OTHER than Japan.
I'm sorry but... it was my sister's fucking wedding. And I have every fucking right to talk about it. But I can't. I feel bad for even mentioning it. Like... how can I talk about something other than Japan. How dare I talk about happy things when there are people out there who have lost loved ones. How dare I do anything other than dedicate myself to Japan.
I'm sorry but I am angry. I've had such a rollercoaster ride of the past few days and coming back online to getting shit thrown at me is just... not helping.
I'm sorry it happenned. But what can I do? We couldn't exactly cancel or rearrange the wedding for another day. It was that fucking day. And I'm sorry but for me... I had no choice but to push everything else from my mind and focus on my Sister. It was her big day. She was getting MARRIED.
It's not that I don't care about what's happenning. You would be insane to even think that of me. I care SO fucking much. I've already donated and plan to donate more in small doses if I am able.
But... My Sister's wedding was an important day, and I'm sorry but that had to come first for me.
Call me a bitch if you want to, but this is the damn truth and with how frustrated I am feeling right now I felt that it needed to be said.
Maybe I'll post another entry soon/sometime about the wedding... describing what happenned and why it was such an iffy day for me. I want to talk about it... I need to talk about it. But right now... I can't.
My heart goes out to Japan and everyone affected by the disaster.
With everything that is happenning in Japan right now I just feel so bad that I have other things and thoughts occupying my mind. I've already been called insensitive just for saying that I felt awkward for mentioning the wedding because of Japan. Now I don't really know how that works out but it fucking hurts.
Or maybe it was because I mentioned that I'm battling conjunctivitis for the third time in the period of three weeks... Whatever the case... it still hurts.
My heart breaks and goes out to everyone in Japan. I was shit worried about the friends I have over there. I was worried for everyone over there. Seriously. It's heart breaking to read and watch what's going on whilst not being able to do something.
But at the same time... I can't exactly help it that my sister got married on the same day that all the shit happenned. I can't help it that I had other things to occupy me. I can't fucking help it that I had to focus all my attention on something OTHER than Japan.
I'm sorry but... it was my sister's fucking wedding. And I have every fucking right to talk about it. But I can't. I feel bad for even mentioning it. Like... how can I talk about something other than Japan. How dare I talk about happy things when there are people out there who have lost loved ones. How dare I do anything other than dedicate myself to Japan.
I'm sorry but I am angry. I've had such a rollercoaster ride of the past few days and coming back online to getting shit thrown at me is just... not helping.
I'm sorry it happenned. But what can I do? We couldn't exactly cancel or rearrange the wedding for another day. It was that fucking day. And I'm sorry but for me... I had no choice but to push everything else from my mind and focus on my Sister. It was her big day. She was getting MARRIED.
It's not that I don't care about what's happenning. You would be insane to even think that of me. I care SO fucking much. I've already donated and plan to donate more in small doses if I am able.
But... My Sister's wedding was an important day, and I'm sorry but that had to come first for me.
Call me a bitch if you want to, but this is the damn truth and with how frustrated I am feeling right now I felt that it needed to be said.
Maybe I'll post another entry soon/sometime about the wedding... describing what happenned and why it was such an iffy day for me. I want to talk about it... I need to talk about it. But right now... I can't.
My heart goes out to Japan and everyone affected by the disaster.