"When Destiny Just Doesn't Want to Cooperate" (Tentative title)

[chickenoftheday]

The rough draft of the first chapter of a KH fic I'm working on.  Part of it, anyway.

Darkness.  His life began in it, and it was present in every moment of his (very short) life-he pretty much was darkness, in teenage boy form.  It only made sense that he’d be in darkness in death.  HIS darkness, where he could finally be away from anyone and

Comments

[rever_d_elysium]

Ooooh, I like~! Very interesting, I can't wait to see what's next~

Two little nitpicky things, though:

Who needs memories when one’s dead?

I think this should be "they're" rather than "one's." It may be just me, and it may be just a style thing, but as it is, it just doesn't sound right. To me. *shrug*

‘Who says you’re dead? ‘

The quote needs to go right after the question mark, and shouldn't this be double-quotes? That's what you use later on, and it's the same voice, right?

But anyways. Great start, and update soon please!

[chickenoftheday]

Hehe, to the first one, you're absolutely right. That's what I get for trying to pay attention in class AND write at the same time.

As for the second thing, it's supposed to be single quotes, and the reason the one quote is floating away is because the font I used before smushed everything together and I couldn't see the apostrophe. And then I changed the font to Times New Roman and forgot to take the space out.

And thank you for pointing those things out. ^_^