(no subject)
Dad,
I don't even remember whose ideas these letters were anymore. Prolly Hana's--I can't really see Mom coming up with an idea like this, to sit the whole family around the table and each write you a letter and then go burn it in your bonfire. Well, the burning part maybe. Anyway, I'm sitting here again listening to the stud out in the pasture telling the world he's Not Happy about not being able to get to the mare, and Akamaru's asleep on my feet--wore himself out running around this morning--and I'm trying to think of what to say.
When I was a kid I used to yell at you, I think. I'd have picked enough fights at school this week that I'd have plenty of time in detention to spend thinking up lists of swear words for you, 'cause it seemed like this was the one day when I could really be mad at you for having left us. For not making it back. 'Cause you could do anything, and if you let a measly thing like one little war get you down, you couldn't have wanted to come back all that much.
Guess I've grown up a little since then. I've met a lot of people with lives screwed up way worse than mine and I guess overall I've been pretty lucky. I got Mom and Hana and Akamaru and what I can remember and what they tell me about you. Sometimes I still wonder what I woulda turned out like if you'd been around. I prolly woulda followed you everywhere, done everything I could to be just like you. Maybe even joined the Marines just to make you proud. What-ifs aren't much good though, and I can't really see myself being anybody but who I am. Still would like to know what you'd think of me.
I'm living in the city now, going to school and playing lock forward on the rugby team and living in this run-down building out on the edge of the slums. The building's crap but the people are pretty good. I'm rooming with Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Chouji, and Hana moved in a week or so ago to share with me. She's working at a vet clinic in the city now--pays better than the one back here but I'm still pretty sure she just came to look after me. Can't say I'm not happy about it, but I think Mom's kinda lonely back here--though she'd never say it. At least we could be with her today.
There's so much stuff I wish I could ask you about. Mostly girls I guess. Though I dunno if I could trust your judgment anymore'n I'd trust Shikamaru's old man's. Hinata and Nanao aren't anything like Mom. They're both kinda quiet and shy and really pretty, and they both make me feel like I wanna bristle up and protect 'em, y'know? (Except I dunno as you could ever protect Mom from anything. Guess in the end you were the one who needed it.) But when I kissed Nanao...well, it was good, but...but it still felt weird. And I kept thinking of Hinata.
I guess maybe I really do just need to talk to someone.
Mom and Hana are both done with their letters now and Mom's looking kinda tetchy so I guess I'll hurry up and finish this. Last thing you told me--only thing I still remember you saying--was to look after them. You told me I was man of the house now and I'd better live up to it. (And then Mom belted you one, and you laughed and kissed her and headed out the door...) Well I'm doing my best. Looking after them and anyone else I can.
Hope you'd be proud of me.
Love,
Kiba