article

[epione]

My boyfriend just sent me this article. What do you all think of it?

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More people making the decision to not have childrenNovember 1, 2011 11:11:46

Comments

[zenkitty_714]

I agree with you. Regardless of what else I may ever do - or not do - with my life, I don't want kids. My decision to not have kids wasn't made based on anything else I wanted instead; it was based on the fact that I just don't want kids.

It is good to know, though, that the decision to remain childless is losing the stigma it had for so long. Even when I was young (I was born in 1963), I was considered strange and a little crazy for saying I'd never have kids, and was often informed that I would change my mind someday. I ought to go to a high school reunion just to show them that I never did. Oh, the heck with that - that's what Facebook is for!

[ghostwes]

Well, it's kind of a crap article, to be honest. What exactly is "Complete Without Kids"? A book, obviously, and we know that Dr. Walker wrote it, but can we have more information please? I guess we can infer from the title that the doctor has more to say on the subject than the article provides?

I don't really spend too much time thinking about my purpose if it is to not have kids. However, often when I encounter parents, and am forced to listen to them talk incessantly about their kids and very little else, I am thankful that I am able to invest my valuable time in things that are far more interesting to me. I mean, if you are spending up to sixteen hours per day with your kids, then that is sixteen hours that you are not spending on more productive pursuits.

[mschaos]

I am also glad that this is out there

and another reason would be the fact that this planet has over 7 billion people on it and in 50 years (or less) it will be over 10 billion

[clothmother]

“If you’re not a parent, it’s critical to find your own purpose. Otherwise, you will likely find yourself having regrets at some point about not having had kids.”

To me, the sketchiest logic about this sentence is the idea that parenting is/should be one's own purpose in life. For those who have children, sure, caring for them is of primary importance *when they are very young* but if you don't have some other source of satisfaction that is your own, what will you do as your child begins the necessary and healthy process of separating from you? Empty nest syndrome starts early and repeats ad nauseum for any parent who lacks a focus other than his or her kids.

Signed,
Recovering daughter of a purposeless mother. :P

[6_bleen_7]

I agree: it's critical to find one's own purpose whether or not one chooses to have children.

What irks me about the ending of the article is (1) the assumption that we need a "legacy", and (2) the failure to address the possibility of regret about having kids.

[clothmother]

Exactly! Finding the purpose of your life is such a personal and ever-evolving journey, and I can't imagine why either parents or non-parents ought to be exempt from this most human undertaking. In fact, I think that observation of parenthood was among the first to put me off the idea - the kids become this ultimate raison d'etre, and any other possibility just falls away, seemingly by default. Not only can this kind of tunnel vision be very limiting to one's own development, it's not even healthy for the child!

You make an interesting point about the legacy - many decisions are made that begin that very assumption. Leaving some mark on the world was really important to me when I was younger, but the older I get the more I feel at peace with my insignificance. It's quite liberating!

[bunn]

Well, she is a doctor. They tend to be pretty career-focussed people