an admission.

[childisgone]

I just can't fight this lack of resistance
your fervent insistence or that throbbing
persistence; my plight is that I'm weak
in the knees for your sad little pleas,
your "fuck me"s and pretty pleases;
you always find a way to tease me
into yielding; you wield your sexual wiles,
tell me we would go for miles and never
look back to the way things used to be.

I wonder if its the sweat and heat that
gets me neatly crumpled at your feet
panting sweetly, softly against the sheets
that are rumpled there.

Or maybe it's the threat of expectations
never met come the final morning of this life
I call my own that really gets me naked in your
bed with you at home.

I just cannot be alone.

So I swell pink and velveteen with a sheen
that means you're welcome in my deep,
embedded chasms that haven't felt clean since
those early morning hours when a boy pushed
himself inbetween with a hardness that was mean,
without asking the girl curled unconscious on some
bedsheets she woke to find were blue;

but I forget him when I'm with you.
listen close and careful: I forget
when I'm with you.