Comments | chilismack: In the distance.....

chilismack

In the distance.....

Oct 11, 2005 00:52

I couldn't sleep. I have to get this out of me becuase it's like a beast clawing at my insides. Why is it that the people I care about the most are just going to leave me, one way or another, if not by dying then just physically not being with me? I can't get over the fact that one day, I'm going to be totally alone and I don't ever want that. I ( Read more... )

Comments 8

pduffman004 October 11 2005, 05:08:32 UTC

Aye, I think the same thing, man. I know once I lose my mom that a huge part of me will die. It's as if life isn't going to be worth living at that point. Seriously, how can one move on? Where does one find the strength?

Anyhow, where the hell have you been, man? I'm still looking for you on AIM.

pduffman004 October 12 2005, 01:17:35 UTC

Ah eff AIM anymore man, I'm on msn. It's rhcpman14@yahoo.com

cello_chick October 11 2005, 19:55:25 UTC

Hey, my love. I have too much to say.... and too many ways in which I can relate.... to be able to type a comment.

If you truly want my advice, or my opinion, etc, call me. (305) 248-2793

love you,
Marylin

chilismack October 12 2005, 01:19:18 UTC

Ah I would if I had the time. I always have hw anymore and unless you're up until around midnight or 1 (wait you probably are, you bookworm you) I can't really do anything.

(The comment has been removed)

chilismack October 12 2005, 02:25:40 UTC

I can't just tune it out. That may be easy for some people and I make it look like I'm happy all the time, but inside I'll always have that void. Nothing can change that, nothing. Sure, I've moved on, but I can't help but go back into the days where everything was care-free and the only thing I had on my mind was either to have regular milk or chocolate.

_euph0ria October 12 2005, 02:38:24 UTC

i need some solace and enlightenment as well. yea, we'll loose our loved ones, but some how we'll find ways, people, and places to fill that empty gap. i dont want you to be scared.... but im scared too. everyone is. its just the unknown.

id say to 'try not to think about it', but i know how shitty that advice is. im a hypicrate. we all are, so how can we say to 'not think about it'?
so for now, i hope you find that solace♥

chilismack October 12 2005, 03:53:44 UTC

Thanks Rachel, that's actually exactly what I needed right now. That there's someone who knows what I'm feeling. Nothing can stop me from thinking about it but you just gave a some comfort right there. Thanks.

xpookieheadx October 13 2005, 01:59:01 UTC

yo homie, i lost my grandmother last year around this time too, and she used to live with us and it was a really big loss none of us in the house have been the same its almost like a waiting. we're all waiting for her to come back to walk through the doors as if nothings happend that shes just been off on some trip, its hard to come to realization that we're never gonna see her again. BUT as human beings we have this amazing capacity to cope and to move on, if not we would be a bunch of depressed EMO KIDS!!! lol. but yea being scared is natural feeling alone is natural and i dunno if you know carlos...i think you do..but that hole thing with him and his mom totaly depressed me, i mean its crazy how some one can leave you in just a matter of seconds, how any wrong turn in life can lead to a life so different than before. it really made me come to a realization ( ... )