Comments | chinders: Blog post: Meta Feelings

chinders

Blog post: Meta Feelings

Apr 10, 2013 18:46

I've been struggling to talk about mixed feelings about losing weight (again) and I finally managed to put them into something resembling coherent words.

http://intentionalfemme.wordpress.com/2013/04/11/meta-feelings/

Comments 4

sarahmichigan April 12 2013, 15:41:06 UTC

I hope this doesn't come off as Debbie Downer - I really, really don't mean it that way ( ... )

chinders April 12 2013, 15:49:04 UTC

Exactly. One of the big reasons I'm not happy about being happy about weight loss is that the natural inverse is being sad when I gain it back. (I mean, I suppose there's a chance that I'll keep it off, but that's not really statistically likely.)

cobalt_00 April 14 2013, 03:03:34 UTC

I know I've said this before, but you're doing this for your own reasons. You're doing this, as I understand it, to make your body a happier body, so the changes are a result of you listening to yourself. Which is something, right? I understand what you're saying about vilification, though. Does compartmentalizing happinesses help here? You were happy with you before for these very clear physical reasons. You are also happy with you now for these other reasons. Maybe?

argh128 put it in a good way, I thought: "But if she's awesome at every size, doesn't that mean she was awesome before and she's also awesome now?"

chinders April 14 2013, 04:08:21 UTC

I *was* awesome before and I *am* awesome now. I guess I'm just struggling with the internalized feeling that I am *more* awesome now.

And in non-trivial non-weight related ways, I am. My body is working better. My joints don't suck. My nutrition kicks ass. So I have non-weight reasons to be happy. It's just hard to tease apart from my brain saying "oh thank GOD we get stop being GROSS AND FAT now", you know?