Screaming
Have you ever felt like screaming, at someone in particular, at the world, at anything, just because you were so incredibly pissed off you couldn't help it? Why am I pissed off? Oh, no reason, no reason at all. You see... it just happens to be...my flavor of fun
I am sure you see what I mean. I really do hate being this way. I was on Lithium for about a month at the begining of last semester, and it turned me into a walking zombie. I got so far behind in my classes that I never really caught up. The most agravating part about it is that I have learned to control it enough so that I only get affected when it's really terrible, and even then I KNOW what is going on, and I can logically think things through, but I am still a basket case, because I can't get everything in order mentally. It's like being stuck in my head with another person, who is completely illogical and off the wall, but completely in control of me. Part of it, too, is that I get so frustrated with my lack of control that I get more upset... Nice little loop there, hmm?
Some times when I get really low, it turns into this really viscious inward knife. Then, sometimes, the knife turns outward, and I hate most of what I see around me.
Now, not sure what that had to do with anything, in the end, but who really cares?
I am sure you see what I mean. I really do hate being this way. I was on Lithium for about a month at the begining of last semester, and it turned me into a walking zombie. I got so far behind in my classes that I never really caught up. The most agravating part about it is that I have learned to control it enough so that I only get affected when it's really terrible, and even then I KNOW what is going on, and I can logically think things through, but I am still a basket case, because I can't get everything in order mentally. It's like being stuck in my head with another person, who is completely illogical and off the wall, but completely in control of me. Part of it, too, is that I get so frustrated with my lack of control that I get more upset... Nice little loop there, hmm?
Some times when I get really low, it turns into this really viscious inward knife. Then, sometimes, the knife turns outward, and I hate most of what I see around me.
Now, not sure what that had to do with anything, in the end, but who really cares?