For
black_goose's birthday because I love her a lot a lot and she should know! She wanted happy and funny HanChul with babies. I gave her one baby, plenty of happy, and the funny is debatable. Actually, the happy is debatable, since giving HanChul the baby was mostly to torture them, lol. Still, happy birthday, Laura! Ilubb. ♥
Baby Blues
Super Junior, Hankyung/Heechul, PG, 2250 words
In Heechul's opinion, babies would be a lot more tolerable if they were adults. That is why he did not agree to this babysitting thing.
"I'm going to kill him," Heechul said flatly, staring at the bundle of pink in Hankyung's arms. "Kill him dead."
"Shush," Hankyung admonished and pulled back the fuzzy blanket to peek at the sleeping face in his arms. His expression melted instantly. "Hey there, sweetheart. Aren't you just the best girl in the world? Yes, yes you are..." he cooed.
Heechul approached him as if he held a ticking bomb and the best direction to go in was probably the opposite one, as quickly as possible. He looked distinctly unimpressed. "Does Donghae think we're a daycare service? Do I look like a nurse? I should be charging him for this."
"Oh, hush." Calmly, Hankyung maneuvered away from Heechul to sit carefully on the couch, still cradling the baby and ignoring Heechul's outraged expression. Heechul was as terrified of babies as he had always been and his affronted facade only amused Hankyung. "Stop freaking out, Heechul. Seohae's a darling and Donghae and Meejung are only going to be out for two hours."
Heechul huffed but followed Hankyung to the couch, still staring at Seohae as if her mere existence offended him. She, on the other hand, slept peacefully.
"I'm totally right, you know," he commented. "Meejung was crazy to marry Donghae. And she's crazy for leaving her baby with us."
"You're her godfather."
"They're both crazy."
"Probably," Hankyung agreed, and laughed when Heechul swatted his shoulder in retaliation. He rocked Seohae gently and smiled fondly down at her. "But it's nice that they trust us, isn't it? Besides, we'll be fine. She'll probably sleep for most of the time they're out at dinner."
They were famous last words that Heechul would lord over him for the next month.
--
The crying started twenty minutes after Donghae and his wife had dropped off their ten-month-old for a visit that was, in Heechul's exact words, "due completely and utterly to your hare-brained sentimental idiocy". Hankyung had wanted to spend some time with Seohae after having been in China for two months straight, Donghae and Meejung had wanted a night out - it had all seemed to fall perfectly into place.
"Except - you idiot - that we have no idea what to do with babies," Heechul shrieked at him. He didn't bother being quiet because it was nearly impossible to be heard under Seohae's wails.
"You just have to play with them and hold them!" Hankyung was frantically trying to lull Seohae back into silence, cradling her and patting her back. "Meejung said we didn't even have to feed her! It was only for two hours!"
Heechul folded his arms and glared at him from the other end of the couch. "I should just leave you two alone. You idiot."
"Heechul."
Seohae screamed harder, sobbing into Hankyung's shoulder. Her face was tiny and red and scrunched up with the force of her cries, eyes and nose running. Hankyung's own eyes were wild as he murmured unintelligible soothing words at her.
Heechul gave in, because the sight was too pathetic for even him to bear.
He grabbed the bag Meejung had dropped off and dug around in it. "Hippo?" He stared blankly at the stuffed purple hippopotamus he pulled out and then shrugged and waved it at Seohae. She quieted momentarily and blinked at it - then hiccuped and resumed bawling. Hankyung flinched and Heechul tossed the toy aside with a sigh. "Flamingo? Honeybee? What the hell is Donghae buying his kid?" Neither the pink flamingo or yellow-and-black honeybee quieted Seohae, and Heechul thrust his hand into the bag again.
Seohae's last wail died off abruptly as she wiped her face off onto Hankyung's shoulder and reached out her tiny hands for the toy in Heechul's hand. Her eyes were wide and curious and her hands sticky when she grabbed at Heechul. He winced but held his tongue at Hankyung's fierce look - nothing to make her cry again.
It was a rattle of some sort, with little plastic rings the color of the rainbow rimming the outer edge for more jangle with each shake. Seohae got a firm grip on the handle with her tiny fist and waved it around happily. "Nae ko," she exclaimed happily as she banged it against Hankyung's head.
"Ow," he said, looking incredibly relieved at the cessation of screaming.
"Nae ko, nae ko." She rattled her rattle emphatically at each stuffed toy on the couch, delightedly proclaiming each as hers. She squirmed in Hankyung's arms until he finally put her carefully onto the floor where she half-crawled, half-fell toward Heechul's slippered foot. "NAE KO," she yelled triumphantly and then smashed her rattle onto his toes.
Heechul yelped and Hankyung nearly leaped off the couch. "DON'T MOVE," he nearly shouted as he scooped Seohae back into his arms.
She shook her rattle happily at him. He looked like he'd nearly had a heart attack.
Heechul groaned and pulled his injured foot up towards himself. "Oh my god," he moaned. "Oh my god, Hankyung, I nearly kicked Donghae's baby in the face. I'm going to kill him. I hate babies." He curled into a sullen, miserable ball, kicking the purple hippopotamus in the face in spite.
Seohae shouted gleefully and shook her rattle again at Hankyung. He sighed and tucked her closer to him, ducking so he wouldn't get a rattle to the nose. She wasn't crying anymore, but she was as loud as ever. Trust Donghae's kid to go for the noisemaker.
Her rattle banged against his ear and Hankyung whimpered. "Princess," he moaned, "why can't you just go back to sleep?"
--
"I have to use the bathroom," Hankyung said and rubbed at his forehead. "Just. Watch her. I'll be back in five."
Heechul glared at his departing back. "What he means," he muttered to himself, "is that he's going for a smoke. What a liar. We don't like liars, do we?" He turned to Seohae in bemusement, feeling stupid for talking to someone who didn't understand a word he was saying. She was playing with her stuffed honeybee, squishing its soft face between her hands and laughing.
"At least you're easily entertained when you're not screaming your lungs out. I'd like babies more if they were less clingy, you know. Yah, stop depending so much on other people, it's not healthy. You should be an independent woman - like that one song." Heechul attempted to sing a line in English, mangling the lyrics beyond comprehension. "Whatever."
Seohae happily ignored him, abandoning her honeybee to crawl haphazardly across the floor of the apartment.
"Hey, hey, where are you going?" Heechul got off the couch and followed behind her. "You can't just leave, you know! I didn't give you permission to leave. That's the problem with kids these days - no respect. You should listen to your elders."
Seohae investigated a stack of magazines and pushed one hand at them curiously. They tumbled to the floor in a slippery, glossy cascade and she made a delighted sound. "Nae ko!" she exclaimed, and claimed the nearest Easy magazine with a pat of her hand.
Heechul couldn't help the laugh, crouching down and moving her hand to point at the magazine. "Actually, it's Hankyung's. See? He's on the cover, looking all badass." She beamed down at Hankyung's face and then back up at Heechul. He felt his heart soften just a little bit.
"Are you swearing in front of the baby?" Hankyung's voice drawled from behind him.
Heechul jumped and looked over his shoulder. "It's not like she understands," he defended, coloring in guilt.
"You're still setting a bad example. Don't be like your godfather, Seohae-yah."
Hankyung smelled like smoke when he crouched down beside them. Heechul made a face and pushed at his shoulder. "You're one to talk. You stink like a dirty alleyway. Go away, you'll give her lung cancer, you idiot!"
Hankyung backed up a step and Heechul scowled at him. "Go away until you stop smelling. I'll watch her." Seohae burbled in agreement and wandered away from the magazines, crawling toward the TV. She seemed entranced by her reflection.
"I'm serious!" Heechul snapped at Hankyung's skeptical expression. "I mean, she's not even crying. All I have to do is make sure she doesn't hurt herself, right? What are you smirking for? Stop that. God, I hate you."
Hankyung only laughed at him and backed silently out of the room.
Heechul gave Seohae a severe look, which she ignored, patting at the flat TV screen. "Look, you don't give me trouble and I won't give you trouble, okay? We'll look out for each other, right? Because you're an independent woman - stop that, don't break our TV." He gently pulled her away from the television and cradled her in his lap. She instantly started pulling curiously at his rings, attention diverted.
"Nae ko!" she said again.
He pet her hair gently and settled into a more comfortable position, wondering when he'd turned into such a sap. Her weight was strangely pleasant and she smelled sweet and...baby-like. "No, that's mine. But I guess I can let you play with them. I'm sure we can both be adults about this, right? That's right, Lee Seohae. Ow, no biting!"
--
"I'm still going to kill you," Heechul informed Donghae when he showed up with Meejung on his arm. Seohae was still in Heechul's lap but they had relocated to the couch and she was pulling at his hair, occasionally distracted from this task by the story Hankyung was reading her.
"Don't you just look precious," Meejung sighed, a misty look in her eyes.
"Kill you dead, Lee Donghae," Heechul said, fingers stroking across Seohae's back.
Donghae only grinned at him. "Aww, hyung, don't be like that. You know she loves you. Don't you, princess?" He was at the couch in an instant, cooing at his daughter. "Don't you love your mean ol' godfather, princess? He loves you too, even if he tries to hide it, his big soft heart. But you weren't scared of him at all, were you?"
Hankyung chuckled. "Heechul was more terrified of her than she was of him." He sat back as Donghae scooped Seohae up and cuddled her, making kissy faces at her and then laughing as he tossed her into the air. She shrieked, giggling.
"Don't drop her!" Heechul said sharply.
Donghae caught her and held her to his chest, still laughing. Heechul looked embarrassed. "Look, princess, I told you he loves you. He's so worried about you!"
"Thanks for watching her," Meejung said with a smile. "It was really sweet of you to offer."
Hankyung waved a hand at them. "Don't worry about it. She was, uh, an angel. And I missed her, it was good to see her again."
"An angel," Heechul snorted.
Meejung raised an eyebrow at them.
"She, um, cried a bit. At the beginning."
"A bit," Heechul muttered.
Meejung looked at Hankyung.
"A lot. Er. Very loudly."
Meejung laughed and went to take Seohae from Donghae, giving him a look when he pouted at having his daughter pulled away from him. "She can be a little grumpy when she first wakes. I probably should've told you. And she hasn't seen you two for a while, so she probably didn't recognize you. But everything seems to have turned out all right." She shifted Seohae casually onto her hip, one arm supporting her with the ease of a practiced mother. "She knows when people love her."
Heechul crossed his arms and said, very reluctantly, "She's cute."
Hankyung slung an arm around his shoulder. "You should bring her by again."
"You'd be willing to babysit again?"
"Yah, it's not babysitting!" Heechul pursed his lips. "She's an independent woman, you know. We have an agreement. She'll be good and I'll treat her like she should be treated. No, I mean it, stop laughing, I'll kill you." He elbowed Hankyung hard in the ribs, making him double over, still laughing. He looked at Donghae and then Seohae, strangely calm in her mother's arms. "Lee Seohae," he said solemnly, "you can visit me again if you'd like."
Seohae blinked her wide eyes at him and broke into a beam. "Umma," she exclaimed, pointing at Heechul, "nae ko!"
It was probably a sign of how far Heechul had come that he did not immediately object to being labeled Seohae's property. In fact, a small smile twitched at his lips. Hankyung squeezed his hand and Heechul let him.
--
"That wasn't so bad."
"Sorry, what? Oh, wait, I must've lost my hearing after all the screaming."
Hankyung rolled over in the bed and Heechul yelped, offended, as he was crushed beneath Hankyung's body. Hankyung's fingers fond his side and pinched. Heechul squirmed. "It wasn't so bad," he repeated. "You even managed to work out an agreement with her."
Heechul slid his fingers into Hankyung's hair. "It was okay," he admitted grudgingly.
"So I was wondering... Do you want to look into adoption?"
Heechul's knee came perilously close to Hankyung's crotch as he shoved him back onto the bed, flipping them over. Heechul straddled Hankyung and glared at him, hands flat on Hankyung's chest, which was trembling with restrained laughter. "Don't make me kill you too."
"You like me too much," Hankyung breathed, hand wrapping around the back of Heechul's skull and tugging him down. He didn't allow Heechul a comeback before kissing him soundly. Heechul found, after a minute or so, that he really didn't have anything to say anyway.
--
Started/Finished: 2009.01.04
--
Notes: Seohae = West Sea, because Donghae said he'd name his kids Namhae (South Sea) and Seohae, lol. ♥ "Nae kot (내 것)" = "mine/my thing" but the "t" is practically silent; at ten months, Seohae would be just learning to speak and probably would not be enunciating the t, so I left it "nae ko". This was actually inspired by my Korean teacher telling stories of her daughters when they were small, ahaha.
I should've saddled them with Siwon's kid but we all know how I am when it comes to Donghae aslkdgh I love him and he would be so cute with a kid, even if it's ridiculously hard to imagine when
he still looks like a kid. /rambles forever
ILU LAURA!