[SJ] Creative Truthtelling and Amateur Cockblocking, PG, Qmi - PART 2/2
← PART 1
PART 2
Being back in Seoul for a few days was just enough time for Kyuhyun to attend the encore of his musical, record the new opening song for some television show with K.R.Y., and visit with the non-SJM ("old", Kyuhyun translated in his head) members. Ostensibly. In fact, it was just enough time for Heechul to get his claws back in Zhou Mi.
Walking back into the dorms past midnight the first night, Kyuhyun ran into Heechul waiting up for him at the kitchen table. He was in pair of brightly patterned pink-and-white striped pajama pants and a glaringly orange shirt, his laptop open in front of him. Kyuhyun cringed at the assault to his eyesight.
"So," said Heechul, without waiting for a greeting. "I've been chatting with Seasoning."
Kyuhyun toed off his shoes and raised an eyebrow.
"Seems like he's been feeling a little insecure lately. Doesn't feel like he's getting enough quality time with the other members."
Kyuhyun dropped his gaze, a feeling of dread rising inside him.
"Seems like every time he tries to spend time with Ryeowook, Ryeowook's busy with Henry. Every time he tries to spend time with Donghae, he's with Eunhyuk. Every time he tries to spend time with Sungmin, he's with, hm, you. And every time he tries to spend time with Siwon, Siwon's on the phone with Hankyung." Heechul paused. "Don't think we won't have words about that later, Cho Kyuhyun. The last thing that idiot needs is to get more attached to Mr. Perfection."
So he wasn't the only one irritated by Siwon's perfection. Kyuhyun took minute comfort at that as he seated himself across the table from Heechul. He tried for innocent, though he knew it wasn't his strong suit.
"So?"
Heechul regarded him with a faint smile. It was no less terrifying than his full-out grin. "You don't mind who Zhou Mi spends time with, huh? I think I remember you saying that."
Damn. He'd sort of been hoping Heechul wouldn't remember.
"You know... I was the one who told Hankyung to call up Zhou Mi."
Oh, he knew. Kyuhyun scowled and Heechul laughed, delighted.
"Yah, so you do know. Good. I also called up Henry and had him get in Zhou Mi's bed. What did he use as his excuse? A nightmare? I guess I can be a nightmare if I want to be."
Kyuhyun's eyes widened. "He said his room was freezing." Heechul had...
"Ah, well. Good enough. And Hyukkie. Good little kid, listens to his elders well. Told him if he didn't want to get in another fight with me, he sure as hell better be working at getting to know Zhou Mi." There was a slight change of tone there and Kyuhyun suspected that order had been less of a joke than the others.
Still, Kyuhyun could hardly contain his outrage. "Hyung, are you saying-"
"Mm, what am I saying?" Heechul closed his laptop and laid his palms flat over it, eyes glittering. "I guess I'm saying that while you're busy recording these next few days, Seasoning will have a lot of free time to spend with me. Isn't that nice?"
With that, he picked up his laptop and breezed out of the kitchen, presumably disappearing into his room if the telltale snick of his door was any indication. Kyuhyun sat at the table, shoulders slumping with sudden weight. He planted his face into his palms and heaved a sigh. Fuck.
Heechul might have not been the best at online gaming, his strategy and skills levels below Kyuhyun's, but in the real world- That was a different story altogether.
The real world required interacting with people, and while neither Kyuhyun nor Heechul were admittedly charming the way Siwon or Donghae could be, winning hearts left and right, Heechul knew how to play people. And he had years of experience on Kyuhyun.
It was why Kyuhyun wasn't surprised the next day to find Zhou Mi over in their dorm, keeping Heechul company. Of course Heechul would arrange it that way, timing it perfectly for when Kyuhyun got back after a late dinner. Of course Heechul would be in the eleventh floor dorm, regardless of the fact that his room was upstairs. Kyuhyun had more or less been expecting it.
He had not, however, expected to see Zhou Mi laid out on the couch with Heechul on top of him, thighs straddling Zhou Mi's hips and tongue down Zhou Mi's throat.
He stopped so suddenly, Ryeowook ran into him from behind.
"What..." started Ryeowook, but it faded out.
"-the fuck," Kyuhyun finished, voice deadly.
Heechul lifted his head, hair rumpled, "Oh, hi!"
Kyuhyun was about to bid farewell to a fairly successful career. He hoped his parents wouldn't be too angry when he was thrown in jail for attempted murder. At least they'd be living comfortably off all the money he had made thus far.
Ryeowook touched his elbow, lightly.
Kyuhyun fought the trembles but Zhou Mi's head had just popped up into his vision. His mouth red and slick. Pink streaked high across his nose and cheekbones. Kyuhyun felt his stomach turn, part desire and part homicidal rage. He swallowed hard, words sticking to his throat like glue.
"Kyuhyun," said Zhou Mi, flustered. He flailed a hand at them from beneath Heechul. "I- Hyung was- We were practicing!"
"Practicing?"
Heechul slithered off Zhou Mi's lap, a liquid roll of his hips as he straightened off the couch. His bright red skinny jeans were the cause for the red Kyuhyun was seeing, really. Probably.
"My next kiss performance," Heechul said airily. "I thought it was Seasoning's turn. He's been so patient!"
"But hyung, our third tour is over..." Ryeowook sounded confused.
Zhou Mi was in tight blue jeans, worn and faded and soft-looking against his skin. His thin white shirt was bunched up along his stomach, most likely from where Heechul had been pressed up against him. He wore a dark, fitted blazer. He had glasses on. He looked good enough to eat and Kyuhyun was about to lose his mind.
He had lost the game already, he knew.
At least, this round.
"Kyuhyun?" Zhou Mi's voice filtered through the fog of anger and jealousy and self-recrimination in his head. Suddenly, Zhou Mi was no longer on the couch but in front of him, placing a tentative hand on his shoulder. He peered at Kyuhyun, worried. "Are you sick? Are you...upset?" He bit his lip.
Kyuhyun eyes were drawn to his mouth, unwillingly.
"I'll just, hmm, go upstairs. I just remembered! I have to make a phone call!" Heechul breezed past them. "Ryeowookie will come with me and make me some food." He snagged Ryeowook with an arm around the neck as he passed. The door shut behind them a moment later.
"Kyuhyun?"
A blink, and Kyuhyun shook his head, gathering his wits. He took Zhou Mi's hand and determinedly kept his eyes away from Zhou Mi's mouth, kiss-swollen and tempting. "I have to make a phone call, too," he said grimly. He pulled Zhou Mi along after him into his room. Sungmin was still out, who knew where; Kyuhyun was grateful for the privacy as he deposited Zhou Mi onto his bed - ooh, maybe he'd regret that temptation in a moment - and pulled out his cell phone. He connected the call to China.
"What're you doing? Kyuhyun? Who are you calling?" Zhou Mi's worry only increased as Kyuhyun ignored him, pacing.
Hankyung picked up.
"Kyuhyun?"
"Heechul-hyung just made out with Zhou Mi. If you have left in your heart even the littlest love for us, for me, fix this."
He hung up abruptly, still breathing hard. Whirling, he took in Zhou Mi's wide eyes and, unable to take it any longer, pushed Zhou Mi back onto his bed until he was stretched out on his side. Kyuhyun crawled in beside him and squeezed him tight, burying his face into Zhou Mi's neck.
"Kyuhyun, what's the matter?" Zhou Mi's hands stroked his back.
"Shut up."
"Kuixian..." Zhou Mi held him silently, their breaths evening out slowly, until the worst of Kyuhyun's black mood passed. Still, he lingered, allowing his lips to graze the bare collarbone exposed by Zhou Mi's low-cut shirt. Zhou Mi kept him close, and Kyuhyun was grateful that he didn't ask further questions. He always had known when to let Kyuhyun stew as necessary. He knew a lot about Kyuhyun instinctively. So well.
Kyuhyun wasn't sure what game he was playing anymore, but it wasn't with Zhou Mi. He wasn't deluding himself either: he knew how he felt.
Pride wouldn't let him just sit back and take Heechul's slap in the face, though. Throw down the gauntlet? Kyuhyun would pick that motherfucker back up.
He still had some pride as a gamer, after all. He would show Heechul who would come out on top.
The thought comforted Kyuhyun through the night, even after Zhou Mi finally returned to his own dorm, making Kyuhyun promise to call if he needed anything.
The morning, however, brought with it another sting of reality.
Heechul called him at the studio to laugh in his ear.
"Nice try, Kyuhyun-ah. Hankyung lectured me for twenty minutes before I could get a word in, aissh. What a pain. But once I explained what was going on - sorry, little thirteen, but he's on my side."
Kyuhyun made an unintelligible noise of disgust into the phone. Yesung, on break beside him, gave him a strange look.
"But you upped the ante, baby," Heechul purred. "It's clear you do care who Seasoning spends time with. Until you man up and admit it, expect attack from all sides. Resistance is futile. All your base is belong to me."
"You don't even know what that's from! And you're using it wrong!"
Kyuhyun regretted his outburst a second later when Heechul hung up on him, still gloating.
Well, shit.
Kyuhyun's head met the wall with a thunk. Yesung looked at him again, shaking his head.
It was a sad day when Yesung looked at Kyuhyun like he was the weird loser.
***
Kyuhyun thought they'd be safer back in Taiwan, away from Heechul's influence. He'd forgotten that in the modern world of today, technology bridged the gap of physical distance.
"You've got to be kidding," he muttered to himself as Zhou Mi busied himself on his phone for the fourteenth time that hour, bent over the tiny screen and grinning to himself. It was bad enough that it had chirped so often throughout their day of recording that Zhou Mi had muted it after the first hour, apologetic. Now even their nightly free time was being interrupted with a barrage of texts.
Who were they even from? Kyuhyun was deathly curious but afraid to ask. He would be falling right into Heechul's trap if he did. So he sat on the couch and pretended he was watching One Piece with Eunhyuk. In reality, the Japanese was a jumble in his head and the Korean subtitles slid unread before his eyes, as he counted each telltale chirp of Zhou Mi's phone as he received another message.
Sadly, he didn't even consider leaving the apartment to return to his own. Then he wouldn't be able to monitor the number of texts or, you know, drive himself crazy. Kyuhyun hated himself a little sometimes.
"Oh my god, who is Mr. Popularity today," Donghae moaned, tossing a couch pillow at Zhou Mi irritably. "Who is texting you so much? Make them stop! Tell them to just call if they have that much to say."
Kyuhyun blessed Donghae's impatient nature in his heart. He cautiously lifted his eyes to Zhou Mi's silly smile.
"Sorry! It's actually both Changmin and Jonghyun. Did you guys want to talk to them? It's been a while, hasn't it?"
Kyuhyun's eyebrows crept towards his hairline.
"Changmin?"
Zhou Mi hummed affirmation.
Oh, Shim Changmin, you were a dead man.
"I want talk to Jonghyun! Do you know if Minho is around? Let's call them." Donghae, apparently bored with the episode of One Piece, left the couch and hovered around Zhou Mi's shoulder, peering at his phone. "Hey, maybe we can Skype them if they're free. C'mon, we can use my laptop."
Kyuhyun watched Donghae drag Zhou Mi away, frown tugging at his lips.
Eunhyuk leaned forward and hit the space bar, pausing the video. "Kyuhyun, why don't you just tell him?" he said, caught somewhere between exasperation and hesitation.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." The response was defiant and automatic. Kyuhyun dug around his pocket for his own phone, pulling up Changmin on his contact list. "You should continue the episode."
What are you doing, asshole?
Sorry, Kyuhyun, but I love Zhou Mi hyung.
What was that even supposed to mean? He texted the question back, annoyed.
Just thought he should know that at least some of us do, keke.
Oh, he had to be kidding.
Heechul had gotten to him too, hadn't he? More likely than not via Yunho. Kyuhyun gave up on One Piece and headed into Donghae's tiny room to crash their webcam party. If he couldn't put a stop to this, he could at least ensure his own presence. The way Zhou Mi lit up at the sight of him and immediately gestured him over, tucking a hand around his arm when he was close enough - well, that was just a bonus.
It made up for the smug expression on Jonghyun's stupid face when they finally managed to connect the call. "Zhou Mi-hyung!" he exclaimed, eyes crinkling with his wide grin. "Donghae-hyung, Kyuhyun-hyung."
At least it only took ten minutes before Kyuhyun managed to nudge Donghae into asking for Minho, pitifully eager, and he could drag Zhou Mi away from Jonghyun's ardent adoration.
Tch. Dongsaengs.
***
But then it was emails. Endless ones from Tiffany that made Zhou Mi practically sparkle every night as he checked his email.
"She's really sweet," Zhou Mi sighed. "She always encourages me. All of us! And she's letting me practice my English with her."
Then Sunny.
"She likes to send me cute pictures of baby animals," Zhou Mi cooed as he shoved his laptop under Kyuhyun's nose. "She knows I love them. Look at this one, it's so precious. It's so tiny! Doesn't it remind you of Niqiu?"
Taeyeon.
"She sent me songs she thought I'd like. I really want to learn to sing this one. Will you practice with me, Kyuhyun?"
Jessica.
"She complains about the other members," Zhou Mi confessed, but his eyes were dancing. "Some of the things they get up to. I give advice sometimes but, really, they're just funny stories. I share some of our stories sometimes..." He trails off, almost embarrassed, almost sly. Kyuhyun tallied up the list of SNSD members and couldn't miss the fact that they were all Heechul's girls, in one way or another.
"Make them stop," he ordered Seohyun.
"I'm the magnae, I can't make them stop anything!" Her laugh was light in his ear.
"Seohyun, I know you. You have your devious ways under that gentle exterior. Don't disappoint me."
"All right, oppa. I'll do my best."
***
The emails stopped.
The phone calls started.
"Fuck my life," Kyuhyun said decisively to a confused Henry as he slammed his bedroom door and threw himself onto his bed, sulking.
Luna.
"Her Chinese is getting so good! Of course, she has Victoria and Amber, but it's really amazing. She's almost as quick a learner as you, Kyuhyun."
(A fond smile. Kyuhyun's irrepressible burst of smugness.)
Liyin.
"Oh, we don't really talk about anything specific... A little bit about everything."
(Could he be any vaguer?)
Xander.
"He's doing really well! I'm really glad to hear that, after he left U-Kiss, you know. We'll probably go out for food again when I'm back in Korea. You can come along!"
(Interminable giggles. A flurry of Cantonese, the odd Korean phrase, some Mandarin.)
Hankyung.
"Geng-ge..."
(And that soft, wistful tone was enough to be the last straw. Kyuhyun couldn't take it anymore.)
***
He made sure he was alone in the apartment before he called. The other members were out or in the other apartment - it really didn't matter, so long as they weren't around to overhear Kyuhyun taking a deep breath and saying, "I give up. You win, hyung."
The laughter he expected didn't ring in his ear. Instead, he was greeted with a thoughtful silence.
"And?"
Kyuhyun sank into the chair in front of his desk. "You win. I..."
"You care who Zhou Mi spends time with?" Heechul's voice was surprisingly gentle.
"Yeah. I do."
"Please tell me you know why."
"Yeah."
He felt a little stupid admitting it, but it was true, wasn't it? He'd known for ages that he wasn't just cockblocking for fun. That the jealousy inside him wasn't only because Zhou Mi paying attention to other people meant less time with Kyuhyun. The possessiveness, the proprietary attitude, the gloating and smugness when he could wrap Zhou Mi's affection around himself like a blanket, Kyuhyun knew what it all meant.
"Praise Jesus," Heechul muttered, the familiar edge back in his voice. Kyuhyun chuckled despite himself.
"Don't let Siwon hear you, hyung. He'll think there's hope after all."
Heechul snorted. "Stupid little idiot," he said fondly. "Go talk to him. Oh, and Kyuhyun?"
Kyuhyun paused tracing circles on his desk with his fingers, gut clenching at the thought of an actual confession after all this time it had gone unsaid and for the most part, he thought, understood. "Yes?"
"You hurt him and I will kill you."
"Hyung-"
"And so will everyone else. Hankyung and Siwon and Sungmin and Ryeowook and Changmin and Tiffany and-"
"I get the point." Kyuhyun rolled his eyes, a little disgruntled at the reminder of just how many people were apparently in love with Zhou Mi. They could all just keep their hands to themselves, thanks. "I wouldn't, you know I, he's so, I can't even."
Heechul made an impatient sound. "Words, Kyuhyun. Let's try to put them in sentences."
Kyuhyun bit back a retort. This was too important to derail.
"Do you think, knowing how I feel, that I would ever hurt him?" he said at last.
"Kyuhyun..." The gentle Heechul returned unexpectedly, making Kyuhyun feel even more awkward. He was used to joking with Heechul, not having serious heart-to-hearts. Kyuhyun was not the best ad-libber in the world; he worked best with a plan and a quip, not off the cuff. Being thrown off balance always left him at a loss, struggling to regain equilibrium. Gentle Heechul was uncertain ground, unfamiliar enough to make Kyuhyun uncomfortable.
"Kyuhyun," said Heechul, "I know I'm not the best hyung. I know I'm far from perfect. But I learned too late that you have to...be good to the ones you are lucky enough to have by your side. While they're still there."
His voice had gone quiet. Kyuhyun shifted in his seat, discomfort growing. He had a feeling he knew what Heechul was referring to and he didn't know what to say. A quip would probably not be appropriate.
"Yah, so just listen to hyung for once like a good little magnae. There is only so much I can do, you know. I'm all the way in Korea. Don't make me do all of the work, brat." Tone brisk again, loud.
Kyuhyun scoffed under his breath, a tingle of relief going through him at the shift in atmosphere. "Meddlesome."
"Considerate," Heechul corrected with a sniff. "Only a hyung that loved you would want to make sure you were happy."
Kyuhyun thought darkly of all the people Heechul had sent into Zhou Mi's arms, all the emails and texts and phone calls. "Happy," he repeated incredulously.
"Not my fault if you're not appreciative. Now stop arguing with me and get off the phone. Go!"
It turned out Heechul really was incredibly difficult to resist, despite the way he could grate on the nerves. An indomitable if indescribable way with people, Kyuhyun thought. He hung up reluctantly, not so much because he wanted to talk more with Heechul, but because ending the call meant having to face the next task. He scrubbed a hand through his hair. He could do this.
Zhou Mi was out again. Dinner with a friend, then probably the night markets again. He could not get enough of the scallion pancakes, evidently. A true Taiwanese love affair. Perhaps the only real rival Kyuhyun had for his affections.
He smiled wryly. Stupid. He knew how he felt about Zhou Mi and he wasn't blind either, despite some catty comments Heechul had muttered over the past few weeks; he knew well enough that his feelings weren't unrequited. You'd think that would make confession easier, but love never did play by the rules, did it? It was why Kyuhyun preferred the virtual world to the real world at times; at least there he had a set of expectations he knew would be met. In the real world, there were too many possibilities. Potentials for failure.
Then again, in the real world, he had Zhou Mi laughing with him as he learned stupid phrases like, "Prices are negotiable, call me."
"You know you sound like a hooker, right?" Zhou Mi said, amused.
"Call me," Kyuhyun repeated, raising a challenging eyebrow and getting another laugh and an arm around his shoulders in return.
In this world, he had Zhou Mi dragging his stupid luggage with him through the airport, bright and plastered with ridiculous stickers. It was enough to make anyone cringe, except perhaps for five year old fairy princesses. "Don't be jealous that I'll never lose my luggage," Zhou Mi told him airily as he picked his things off the carousel a good fifteen minutes before the other members managed to retrieve theirs.
In this world, he had Zhou Mi demanding to be photographed in all sorts of strange places, posing to best show off his new outfit. He had Zhou Mi pointing out sky lanterns glowing in the night sky, murmuring stories from his past into his ear. He had Zhou Mi whining at him, laughing at him, and putting up with Kyuhyun's mockery. He had Zhou Mi singing with him, accompanying him, and just being there. All the time. A constant reminder in his very existence.
Kyuhyun ended up on his bed, eyes unfocused as his thoughts drifted.
In this world, Zhou Mi dressed down in tight jeans that hung low off his hips. He dressed up in pressed suits that molded to his body and showed off his long, lean lines. His hair fell artfully - dark, red undertones - over his brow, leading the eye down to his lips. His lips. Kyuhyun's thoughts lingered there awhile. And his ears, always glinting with those small studs. His collarbones, framed by a low-cut shirt or an unbuttoned collar, tie hanging loose. Kyuhyun licked his suddenly dry lips. Those arms, not as scrawny as they used to be, and hands, long-fingered and touching Kyuhyun at every opportunity.
Kyuhyun wasn't stupid. Not completely stupid, anyway. Surely he was at least a little stupid for having put this off so long. He didn't want anyone else touching Zhou Mi, but had he cockblocked himself in the process? Too busy warding off the others to just sink into this possibility and grab on with both hands.
He levered himself to his feet and padded to the door in his pajamas. No time like the present, he told himself. This way, he could avoid another day of Heechul's lectures and machinations as an added bonus.
Ryeowook opened the door of the other apartment. "Kyuhyun! Did you need something?"
I need get into Zhou Mi's room so I can wait for him to come back so I can confess. Kyuhyun considered it, but in the end he kept it to himself. "I just need to kill some time. Do you want to drink a little?"
A little liquid courage couldn't hurt. And his tolerance being what it was, a glass or two of wine would hardly put him out of commission.
Ryeowook's face brightened. "Sure! Just let me get that bottle..."
Four shots of soju later, because Ryeowook didn't believe in wine when there was harder liquor around, Ryeowook's voice was nothing more than a soft, slurred buzz in the back of Kyuhyun's mind. He fell asleep on the couch thinking of Zhou Mi's eyes, dark and serious, trained on him. Of his voice, warm, saying his name.
***
"Kuixian. Kuixian, wake up. You should go to bed."
Blearily, he pried open his eyes. "What time is it?" he mumbled in Chinese.
Knuckles stroked down his cheek, a familiar touch. "Two in the morning," Zhou Mi replied softly. "Come on, Kuixian." He slid a hand under Kyuhyun's arm and helped him to his feet.
"Do you need help, hyung?" Ryeowook asked, appearing behind Zhou Mi.
Kyuhyun twitched as he pitched forward. "Henry's lonely," he said indistinctly into Zhou Mi's shoulder. "Go keep him company."
Ryeowook laughed. Indulgent. Jackass. "All right, Kyuhyun. Call me if you need anything," he said to Zhou Mi and then he was gone.
Kyuhyun muttered unflattering things about people who should stop clinging and go away.
Zhou Mi laughed into his hair. "Why are you sleeping here?" He was speaking in Korean again and it made something flare inside Kyuhyun. The way his mouth shaped those sounds, switching so deftly from Mandarin, always with that tinge of foreignness to otherwise familiar sounds. Something new. Different, but in a good way.
Kyuhyun wondered if Zhou Mi felt this way when Kyuhyun spoke in Chinese.
"Ge," he said experimentally and Zhou Mi froze in the midst of his efforts of nudging Kyuhyun towards the door.
"Kuixian?"
"I feel that..." He trailed off. Half-awake was not the best state in which to attempt Chinese, apparently. He switched back, still speaking mostly into Zhou Mi's shoulder, rather muffled. "You know everyone loves you, right? No one is avoiding you." He curled his hands into Zhou Mi's shirt, feeling the warmth of Zhou Mi's body underneath. "Everyone. Heechul and Hankyung and Sungmin and Siwon and Ryeowook and Henry and Donghae and Hyukjae and Jungmo and Changmin and Jonghyun and-"
Zhou Mi stopped him before he could list out half of SM Entertainment. Maybe all of it. "I, yes. I know I'm very lucky. I'm very grateful. What are you saying, Kyuhyun?"
"Me, too."
Zhou Mi's gentle fingers nudged his chin up until their eyes met. There was a questioning look in his eyes. "Kyuhyun?"
So serious. His heart was racing stupidly fast. He wanted to die a little bit, but that was par for the course in how Kyuhyun handled embarrassment. (Not well.)
"Me, too," he repeated quietly.
Kyuhyun was not a romantic like Donghae or Ryeowook or Zhou Mi. He was a bit of a cynic, all things told, and a realist at the very minimum. Fairy tale romances were ridiculous; even the dramas they all watched tended to be over the top. It was naive to believe things worked like that in real life.
(One glaring difference, for instance, was that not one fairy tale or TV drama dealt with the difficulties of being a ridiculously large boy band. They had no idea.)
He wasn't expecting some kind of perfect confession scene, not honestly. If he was feeling inordinately warm and hazy, it was only due to his half-asleep, cotton-filled mind dulling the nerves. It was the familiar comfort of Zhou Mi's arms around him and the warmth of his body. If Kyuhyun had been more awake, and consequently more aware of himself to feel hideously awkward and uncertain, he might've tried to extricate himself from the situation. "I'll just...go now," he might've said. He could be a smooth operator with a plan, but he hadn't walked into this confession with a plan, leaving him with nothing but awkward, uncomfortable honesty.
Kyuhyun didn't expect some perfect moment, but he ended up getting it.
Zhou Mi's brow crinkled in thought as he stared at Kyuhyun. Then he laughed, suddenly, and said, "Have you been keeping the other members away from me, Cho Kyuhyun? Is that why I haven't gotten to spend much time with them lately? Have you been cockblocking?"
His mouth opened to defend himself.
"How do you even know that word?" was the only thing he could think of to say.
"Heechul-hyung, of course." Zhou Mi's eyes were bright with merriment. His arms tightened around Kyuhyun. "So, really? Cockblocking? Kyuhyun, you child."
"You... You're too friendly! And you talk on the phone too much!"
Zhou Mi just beamed at him.
"Did your bill go up three thousand dollars?" Kyuhyun demanded. "With all that texting and calling to Korea, honestly! You should be more careful of the expenses. The company won't pay them all."
"Kuixian," Zhou Mi said in Chinese, and Kyuhyun could drown in the depths of the affection in his voice, "I thought you understood me the best."
"I don't even know you," Kyuhyun argued back in the same language. His lips lifted.
They were still giggling when their mouths finally met.
God, Zhou Mi did make him stupid. He hated that.
His hands drifted up Zhou Mi's back, pulling him closer, mouth opening to deepen the kiss.
Well, no. He didn't really. Kyuhyun might stretch the inconvenient truths and twist them around to suit his purposes, but he was not, despite what Heechul claimed, a lying liar who lied.
He stuck by his words: he didn't care who Zhou Mi spent time with. Just so long as it was Kyuhyun.
***
Speaking of which, Kyuhyun thought it might help to pass the message along.
Henry watched as Kyuhyun fiddled with Zhou Mi's necklace and snickered to himself. He said nothing, a resigned expression creeping into his eyes. Neither did Eunhyuk or Sungmin say a word, staring at the way Kyuhyun toyed with the necklace as Zhou Mi spoke into the microphone, trying to maintain his professional demeanor. Donghae didn't even notice, zoning out as he tended to do during interviews. Ryeowook looked, again, indulgent.
Siwon was busy with his own schedule, hah, and no one else was touching Zhou Mi.
The cameramen and interviewer looked as though they wanted to comment but, when none of the other members seemed to react at all, held themselves back.
This, Kyuhyun thought, pleased, was the way things were supposed to be.
"Having fun?" Zhou Mi interrupted himself to ask, half-turning to laugh up at Kyuhyun.
You have no idea, thought Kyuhyun gleefully as he replaced the chain against the back of Zhou Mi's neck and patted his collar back into place. The message he broadcast was loud and clear, he hoped.
"Did you want a blinking neon sign too?" Henry asked him later, dryly.
"Would I need one in English for you to be able to understand it?"
Henry elbowed him. "I could be blind and still understand. Does Heechul-hyung know you finally owned up? I mean, I don't mind sleeping with Zhou Mi at night, but I could seriously do without Heechul's nagging calls."
Kyuhyun showed Henry just how much sympathy he had for him by stealing Henry's post-dinner fruit. "Henry-sshi, you're all grown up now. You can sleep on your own. Or with Donghae-hyung," he said solemnly. Henry's mouth fell open as a flush suffused his face.
"What, you, I'm straight!"
Still smirking, Kyuhyun left Henry sputtering behind him and made his way to Zhou Mi's room. He set his stolen orange aside and then folded himself into Zhou Mi's arms without a word, spending the next few minutes introducing his tongue to the inside of Zhou Mi's mouth. He had much more exciting plans for the night than eating fruit. Or even outraging Henry.
Zhou Mi combed a hand through Kyuhyun's hair and kissed him again, light. "You know, you have me now. You can probably stop cockblocking the others from spending any time with me."
Kyuhyun made a considering sound. Then he mouthed at Zhou Mi's throat, a wet little suck. Zhou Mi's pulse jumped under his lips. "Nah."
***
mission: accomplished
"Seasoning and I are going shopping," Heechul announced to the world at large.
"What?" Kyuhyun scrambled to pause and save his game. "I'm coming too!"
Zhou Mi shot him an incredulous look. Heechul just looked privately amused.
"Have fun carrying bags," Donghae muttered behind him, not taking his eyes off the drama on TV.
Kyuhyun did end up carrying the bags, but he bore it with grim determination. Nowadays, he knew better than to expect to be able to cockblock Heechul from spending as much time with Zhou Mi as he liked. He couldn't even prevent Heechul from being as grabby as he wanted, constantly flirtatious and about half the time for Kyuhyun's benefit. Heechul loved to rile him.
But if Heechul was going to be so inappropriately clingy to Kyuhyun's boyfriend, Kyuhyun was going to be there supervising as much as he could. He trailed after Zhou Mi and Heechul, who were chattering excitedly, thankful for his handheld Nintendo DS. It made up, slightly, for the numerous bags hanging off his wrists, and the way that- Hey! Had Heechul just slipped a hand into the back pocket of Zhou Mi's jeans?
Kyuhyun gritted his teeth and thought hard. If he protested, Heechul would only do it more.
"Can we stop for a second?" he called. He watched the two of them come to a halt out of the corner of his eye, making a production of rearranging the bags on his arms, shifting them around in his hands.
Zhou Mi fluttered back to his side, concerned. "Kyuhyun, are you okay? Is this too many bags? Do you need help? I'm sorry, thank you for carrying them."
"Ah, here, just take a few. This one and, here, this one." Zhou Mi eagerly relieved Kyuhyun of the bags in question. Then Kyuhyun turned a sweet expression up towards him. "Thank you," he said.
Simple. Sweet. Effective, when used sparingly, as Zhou Mi all but melted into a puddle beside him. He nearly radiated affection as he smiled at Kyuhyun. "It's no problem. I'm glad you came with me and Heechul-hyung." A fleeting touch to his head, fingers running lightly through his hair and stroking down the back of his neck.
Kyuhyun enjoyed the shiver in his spine.
"Oh, for fuck's sake."
Heechul sounded absolutely disgusted.
Zhou Mi turned towards him, making soothing noises, toting Kyuhyun along with him. Behind his back, Kyuhyun sent Heechul a triumphant look.
"You, Cho Kyuhyun, are an underhanded, devious little sneak," Heechul hissed at him when he was within hearing distance. He looked faintly approving.
Kyuhyun grinned. It looked like he had at long last reached the final level and beaten the final boss: cockblocking even Kim Heechul himself.
Operation: Cockblock (final name, trademark pending) could be considered a rousing success.
--
Started: 2011.04.03 | Finished: 2011.04.09
Notes: I have a glut of notes for this fic, but I will try to condense: I love Qmi, I love Michul, and I love everyone loving Mi. (And they do. Everyone mentioned in this fic has shown some starry-eyed adoration for Mi irl and it makes me happy.) There are many references to ridiculous SJM and Qmi interactions that actually happened, taken from various SJM Taiwanese radio shows, variety shows, and interviews. (Catch 'em all!) Although - timelines, what timelines? I don't need no stinkin' timelines. Thanks be to various baidu bars, weibo accounts, and @zhouminews. Qmi is disgusting, sickening, nauseating, gross, and my favorites. ♥ Also, Kyuhyun is a troll. = ^ =
PART 2
Being back in Seoul for a few days was just enough time for Kyuhyun to attend the encore of his musical, record the new opening song for some television show with K.R.Y., and visit with the non-SJM ("old", Kyuhyun translated in his head) members. Ostensibly. In fact, it was just enough time for Heechul to get his claws back in Zhou Mi.
Walking back into the dorms past midnight the first night, Kyuhyun ran into Heechul waiting up for him at the kitchen table. He was in pair of brightly patterned pink-and-white striped pajama pants and a glaringly orange shirt, his laptop open in front of him. Kyuhyun cringed at the assault to his eyesight.
"So," said Heechul, without waiting for a greeting. "I've been chatting with Seasoning."
Kyuhyun toed off his shoes and raised an eyebrow.
"Seems like he's been feeling a little insecure lately. Doesn't feel like he's getting enough quality time with the other members."
Kyuhyun dropped his gaze, a feeling of dread rising inside him.
"Seems like every time he tries to spend time with Ryeowook, Ryeowook's busy with Henry. Every time he tries to spend time with Donghae, he's with Eunhyuk. Every time he tries to spend time with Sungmin, he's with, hm, you. And every time he tries to spend time with Siwon, Siwon's on the phone with Hankyung." Heechul paused. "Don't think we won't have words about that later, Cho Kyuhyun. The last thing that idiot needs is to get more attached to Mr. Perfection."
So he wasn't the only one irritated by Siwon's perfection. Kyuhyun took minute comfort at that as he seated himself across the table from Heechul. He tried for innocent, though he knew it wasn't his strong suit.
"So?"
Heechul regarded him with a faint smile. It was no less terrifying than his full-out grin. "You don't mind who Zhou Mi spends time with, huh? I think I remember you saying that."
Damn. He'd sort of been hoping Heechul wouldn't remember.
"You know... I was the one who told Hankyung to call up Zhou Mi."
Oh, he knew. Kyuhyun scowled and Heechul laughed, delighted.
"Yah, so you do know. Good. I also called up Henry and had him get in Zhou Mi's bed. What did he use as his excuse? A nightmare? I guess I can be a nightmare if I want to be."
Kyuhyun's eyes widened. "He said his room was freezing." Heechul had...
"Ah, well. Good enough. And Hyukkie. Good little kid, listens to his elders well. Told him if he didn't want to get in another fight with me, he sure as hell better be working at getting to know Zhou Mi." There was a slight change of tone there and Kyuhyun suspected that order had been less of a joke than the others.
Still, Kyuhyun could hardly contain his outrage. "Hyung, are you saying-"
"Mm, what am I saying?" Heechul closed his laptop and laid his palms flat over it, eyes glittering. "I guess I'm saying that while you're busy recording these next few days, Seasoning will have a lot of free time to spend with me. Isn't that nice?"
With that, he picked up his laptop and breezed out of the kitchen, presumably disappearing into his room if the telltale snick of his door was any indication. Kyuhyun sat at the table, shoulders slumping with sudden weight. He planted his face into his palms and heaved a sigh. Fuck.
Heechul might have not been the best at online gaming, his strategy and skills levels below Kyuhyun's, but in the real world- That was a different story altogether.
The real world required interacting with people, and while neither Kyuhyun nor Heechul were admittedly charming the way Siwon or Donghae could be, winning hearts left and right, Heechul knew how to play people. And he had years of experience on Kyuhyun.
It was why Kyuhyun wasn't surprised the next day to find Zhou Mi over in their dorm, keeping Heechul company. Of course Heechul would arrange it that way, timing it perfectly for when Kyuhyun got back after a late dinner. Of course Heechul would be in the eleventh floor dorm, regardless of the fact that his room was upstairs. Kyuhyun had more or less been expecting it.
He had not, however, expected to see Zhou Mi laid out on the couch with Heechul on top of him, thighs straddling Zhou Mi's hips and tongue down Zhou Mi's throat.
He stopped so suddenly, Ryeowook ran into him from behind.
"What..." started Ryeowook, but it faded out.
"-the fuck," Kyuhyun finished, voice deadly.
Heechul lifted his head, hair rumpled, "Oh, hi!"
Kyuhyun was about to bid farewell to a fairly successful career. He hoped his parents wouldn't be too angry when he was thrown in jail for attempted murder. At least they'd be living comfortably off all the money he had made thus far.
Ryeowook touched his elbow, lightly.
Kyuhyun fought the trembles but Zhou Mi's head had just popped up into his vision. His mouth red and slick. Pink streaked high across his nose and cheekbones. Kyuhyun felt his stomach turn, part desire and part homicidal rage. He swallowed hard, words sticking to his throat like glue.
"Kyuhyun," said Zhou Mi, flustered. He flailed a hand at them from beneath Heechul. "I- Hyung was- We were practicing!"
"Practicing?"
Heechul slithered off Zhou Mi's lap, a liquid roll of his hips as he straightened off the couch. His bright red skinny jeans were the cause for the red Kyuhyun was seeing, really. Probably.
"My next kiss performance," Heechul said airily. "I thought it was Seasoning's turn. He's been so patient!"
"But hyung, our third tour is over..." Ryeowook sounded confused.
Zhou Mi was in tight blue jeans, worn and faded and soft-looking against his skin. His thin white shirt was bunched up along his stomach, most likely from where Heechul had been pressed up against him. He wore a dark, fitted blazer. He had glasses on. He looked good enough to eat and Kyuhyun was about to lose his mind.
He had lost the game already, he knew.
At least, this round.
"Kyuhyun?" Zhou Mi's voice filtered through the fog of anger and jealousy and self-recrimination in his head. Suddenly, Zhou Mi was no longer on the couch but in front of him, placing a tentative hand on his shoulder. He peered at Kyuhyun, worried. "Are you sick? Are you...upset?" He bit his lip.
Kyuhyun eyes were drawn to his mouth, unwillingly.
"I'll just, hmm, go upstairs. I just remembered! I have to make a phone call!" Heechul breezed past them. "Ryeowookie will come with me and make me some food." He snagged Ryeowook with an arm around the neck as he passed. The door shut behind them a moment later.
"Kyuhyun?"
A blink, and Kyuhyun shook his head, gathering his wits. He took Zhou Mi's hand and determinedly kept his eyes away from Zhou Mi's mouth, kiss-swollen and tempting. "I have to make a phone call, too," he said grimly. He pulled Zhou Mi along after him into his room. Sungmin was still out, who knew where; Kyuhyun was grateful for the privacy as he deposited Zhou Mi onto his bed - ooh, maybe he'd regret that temptation in a moment - and pulled out his cell phone. He connected the call to China.
"What're you doing? Kyuhyun? Who are you calling?" Zhou Mi's worry only increased as Kyuhyun ignored him, pacing.
Hankyung picked up.
"Kyuhyun?"
"Heechul-hyung just made out with Zhou Mi. If you have left in your heart even the littlest love for us, for me, fix this."
He hung up abruptly, still breathing hard. Whirling, he took in Zhou Mi's wide eyes and, unable to take it any longer, pushed Zhou Mi back onto his bed until he was stretched out on his side. Kyuhyun crawled in beside him and squeezed him tight, burying his face into Zhou Mi's neck.
"Kyuhyun, what's the matter?" Zhou Mi's hands stroked his back.
"Shut up."
"Kuixian..." Zhou Mi held him silently, their breaths evening out slowly, until the worst of Kyuhyun's black mood passed. Still, he lingered, allowing his lips to graze the bare collarbone exposed by Zhou Mi's low-cut shirt. Zhou Mi kept him close, and Kyuhyun was grateful that he didn't ask further questions. He always had known when to let Kyuhyun stew as necessary. He knew a lot about Kyuhyun instinctively. So well.
Kyuhyun wasn't sure what game he was playing anymore, but it wasn't with Zhou Mi. He wasn't deluding himself either: he knew how he felt.
Pride wouldn't let him just sit back and take Heechul's slap in the face, though. Throw down the gauntlet? Kyuhyun would pick that motherfucker back up.
He still had some pride as a gamer, after all. He would show Heechul who would come out on top.
The thought comforted Kyuhyun through the night, even after Zhou Mi finally returned to his own dorm, making Kyuhyun promise to call if he needed anything.
The morning, however, brought with it another sting of reality.
Heechul called him at the studio to laugh in his ear.
"Nice try, Kyuhyun-ah. Hankyung lectured me for twenty minutes before I could get a word in, aissh. What a pain. But once I explained what was going on - sorry, little thirteen, but he's on my side."
Kyuhyun made an unintelligible noise of disgust into the phone. Yesung, on break beside him, gave him a strange look.
"But you upped the ante, baby," Heechul purred. "It's clear you do care who Seasoning spends time with. Until you man up and admit it, expect attack from all sides. Resistance is futile. All your base is belong to me."
"You don't even know what that's from! And you're using it wrong!"
Kyuhyun regretted his outburst a second later when Heechul hung up on him, still gloating.
Well, shit.
Kyuhyun's head met the wall with a thunk. Yesung looked at him again, shaking his head.
It was a sad day when Yesung looked at Kyuhyun like he was the weird loser.
***
Kyuhyun thought they'd be safer back in Taiwan, away from Heechul's influence. He'd forgotten that in the modern world of today, technology bridged the gap of physical distance.
"You've got to be kidding," he muttered to himself as Zhou Mi busied himself on his phone for the fourteenth time that hour, bent over the tiny screen and grinning to himself. It was bad enough that it had chirped so often throughout their day of recording that Zhou Mi had muted it after the first hour, apologetic. Now even their nightly free time was being interrupted with a barrage of texts.
Who were they even from? Kyuhyun was deathly curious but afraid to ask. He would be falling right into Heechul's trap if he did. So he sat on the couch and pretended he was watching One Piece with Eunhyuk. In reality, the Japanese was a jumble in his head and the Korean subtitles slid unread before his eyes, as he counted each telltale chirp of Zhou Mi's phone as he received another message.
Sadly, he didn't even consider leaving the apartment to return to his own. Then he wouldn't be able to monitor the number of texts or, you know, drive himself crazy. Kyuhyun hated himself a little sometimes.
"Oh my god, who is Mr. Popularity today," Donghae moaned, tossing a couch pillow at Zhou Mi irritably. "Who is texting you so much? Make them stop! Tell them to just call if they have that much to say."
Kyuhyun blessed Donghae's impatient nature in his heart. He cautiously lifted his eyes to Zhou Mi's silly smile.
"Sorry! It's actually both Changmin and Jonghyun. Did you guys want to talk to them? It's been a while, hasn't it?"
Kyuhyun's eyebrows crept towards his hairline.
"Changmin?"
Zhou Mi hummed affirmation.
Oh, Shim Changmin, you were a dead man.
"I want talk to Jonghyun! Do you know if Minho is around? Let's call them." Donghae, apparently bored with the episode of One Piece, left the couch and hovered around Zhou Mi's shoulder, peering at his phone. "Hey, maybe we can Skype them if they're free. C'mon, we can use my laptop."
Kyuhyun watched Donghae drag Zhou Mi away, frown tugging at his lips.
Eunhyuk leaned forward and hit the space bar, pausing the video. "Kyuhyun, why don't you just tell him?" he said, caught somewhere between exasperation and hesitation.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." The response was defiant and automatic. Kyuhyun dug around his pocket for his own phone, pulling up Changmin on his contact list. "You should continue the episode."
What are you doing, asshole?
Sorry, Kyuhyun, but I love Zhou Mi hyung.
What was that even supposed to mean? He texted the question back, annoyed.
Just thought he should know that at least some of us do, keke.
Oh, he had to be kidding.
Heechul had gotten to him too, hadn't he? More likely than not via Yunho. Kyuhyun gave up on One Piece and headed into Donghae's tiny room to crash their webcam party. If he couldn't put a stop to this, he could at least ensure his own presence. The way Zhou Mi lit up at the sight of him and immediately gestured him over, tucking a hand around his arm when he was close enough - well, that was just a bonus.
It made up for the smug expression on Jonghyun's stupid face when they finally managed to connect the call. "Zhou Mi-hyung!" he exclaimed, eyes crinkling with his wide grin. "Donghae-hyung, Kyuhyun-hyung."
At least it only took ten minutes before Kyuhyun managed to nudge Donghae into asking for Minho, pitifully eager, and he could drag Zhou Mi away from Jonghyun's ardent adoration.
Tch. Dongsaengs.
***
But then it was emails. Endless ones from Tiffany that made Zhou Mi practically sparkle every night as he checked his email.
"She's really sweet," Zhou Mi sighed. "She always encourages me. All of us! And she's letting me practice my English with her."
Then Sunny.
"She likes to send me cute pictures of baby animals," Zhou Mi cooed as he shoved his laptop under Kyuhyun's nose. "She knows I love them. Look at this one, it's so precious. It's so tiny! Doesn't it remind you of Niqiu?"
Taeyeon.
"She sent me songs she thought I'd like. I really want to learn to sing this one. Will you practice with me, Kyuhyun?"
Jessica.
"She complains about the other members," Zhou Mi confessed, but his eyes were dancing. "Some of the things they get up to. I give advice sometimes but, really, they're just funny stories. I share some of our stories sometimes..." He trails off, almost embarrassed, almost sly. Kyuhyun tallied up the list of SNSD members and couldn't miss the fact that they were all Heechul's girls, in one way or another.
"Make them stop," he ordered Seohyun.
"I'm the magnae, I can't make them stop anything!" Her laugh was light in his ear.
"Seohyun, I know you. You have your devious ways under that gentle exterior. Don't disappoint me."
"All right, oppa. I'll do my best."
***
The emails stopped.
The phone calls started.
"Fuck my life," Kyuhyun said decisively to a confused Henry as he slammed his bedroom door and threw himself onto his bed, sulking.
Luna.
"Her Chinese is getting so good! Of course, she has Victoria and Amber, but it's really amazing. She's almost as quick a learner as you, Kyuhyun."
(A fond smile. Kyuhyun's irrepressible burst of smugness.)
Liyin.
"Oh, we don't really talk about anything specific... A little bit about everything."
(Could he be any vaguer?)
Xander.
"He's doing really well! I'm really glad to hear that, after he left U-Kiss, you know. We'll probably go out for food again when I'm back in Korea. You can come along!"
(Interminable giggles. A flurry of Cantonese, the odd Korean phrase, some Mandarin.)
Hankyung.
"Geng-ge..."
(And that soft, wistful tone was enough to be the last straw. Kyuhyun couldn't take it anymore.)
***
He made sure he was alone in the apartment before he called. The other members were out or in the other apartment - it really didn't matter, so long as they weren't around to overhear Kyuhyun taking a deep breath and saying, "I give up. You win, hyung."
The laughter he expected didn't ring in his ear. Instead, he was greeted with a thoughtful silence.
"And?"
Kyuhyun sank into the chair in front of his desk. "You win. I..."
"You care who Zhou Mi spends time with?" Heechul's voice was surprisingly gentle.
"Yeah. I do."
"Please tell me you know why."
"Yeah."
He felt a little stupid admitting it, but it was true, wasn't it? He'd known for ages that he wasn't just cockblocking for fun. That the jealousy inside him wasn't only because Zhou Mi paying attention to other people meant less time with Kyuhyun. The possessiveness, the proprietary attitude, the gloating and smugness when he could wrap Zhou Mi's affection around himself like a blanket, Kyuhyun knew what it all meant.
"Praise Jesus," Heechul muttered, the familiar edge back in his voice. Kyuhyun chuckled despite himself.
"Don't let Siwon hear you, hyung. He'll think there's hope after all."
Heechul snorted. "Stupid little idiot," he said fondly. "Go talk to him. Oh, and Kyuhyun?"
Kyuhyun paused tracing circles on his desk with his fingers, gut clenching at the thought of an actual confession after all this time it had gone unsaid and for the most part, he thought, understood. "Yes?"
"You hurt him and I will kill you."
"Hyung-"
"And so will everyone else. Hankyung and Siwon and Sungmin and Ryeowook and Changmin and Tiffany and-"
"I get the point." Kyuhyun rolled his eyes, a little disgruntled at the reminder of just how many people were apparently in love with Zhou Mi. They could all just keep their hands to themselves, thanks. "I wouldn't, you know I, he's so, I can't even."
Heechul made an impatient sound. "Words, Kyuhyun. Let's try to put them in sentences."
Kyuhyun bit back a retort. This was too important to derail.
"Do you think, knowing how I feel, that I would ever hurt him?" he said at last.
"Kyuhyun..." The gentle Heechul returned unexpectedly, making Kyuhyun feel even more awkward. He was used to joking with Heechul, not having serious heart-to-hearts. Kyuhyun was not the best ad-libber in the world; he worked best with a plan and a quip, not off the cuff. Being thrown off balance always left him at a loss, struggling to regain equilibrium. Gentle Heechul was uncertain ground, unfamiliar enough to make Kyuhyun uncomfortable.
"Kyuhyun," said Heechul, "I know I'm not the best hyung. I know I'm far from perfect. But I learned too late that you have to...be good to the ones you are lucky enough to have by your side. While they're still there."
His voice had gone quiet. Kyuhyun shifted in his seat, discomfort growing. He had a feeling he knew what Heechul was referring to and he didn't know what to say. A quip would probably not be appropriate.
"Yah, so just listen to hyung for once like a good little magnae. There is only so much I can do, you know. I'm all the way in Korea. Don't make me do all of the work, brat." Tone brisk again, loud.
Kyuhyun scoffed under his breath, a tingle of relief going through him at the shift in atmosphere. "Meddlesome."
"Considerate," Heechul corrected with a sniff. "Only a hyung that loved you would want to make sure you were happy."
Kyuhyun thought darkly of all the people Heechul had sent into Zhou Mi's arms, all the emails and texts and phone calls. "Happy," he repeated incredulously.
"Not my fault if you're not appreciative. Now stop arguing with me and get off the phone. Go!"
It turned out Heechul really was incredibly difficult to resist, despite the way he could grate on the nerves. An indomitable if indescribable way with people, Kyuhyun thought. He hung up reluctantly, not so much because he wanted to talk more with Heechul, but because ending the call meant having to face the next task. He scrubbed a hand through his hair. He could do this.
Zhou Mi was out again. Dinner with a friend, then probably the night markets again. He could not get enough of the scallion pancakes, evidently. A true Taiwanese love affair. Perhaps the only real rival Kyuhyun had for his affections.
He smiled wryly. Stupid. He knew how he felt about Zhou Mi and he wasn't blind either, despite some catty comments Heechul had muttered over the past few weeks; he knew well enough that his feelings weren't unrequited. You'd think that would make confession easier, but love never did play by the rules, did it? It was why Kyuhyun preferred the virtual world to the real world at times; at least there he had a set of expectations he knew would be met. In the real world, there were too many possibilities. Potentials for failure.
Then again, in the real world, he had Zhou Mi laughing with him as he learned stupid phrases like, "Prices are negotiable, call me."
"You know you sound like a hooker, right?" Zhou Mi said, amused.
"Call me," Kyuhyun repeated, raising a challenging eyebrow and getting another laugh and an arm around his shoulders in return.
In this world, he had Zhou Mi dragging his stupid luggage with him through the airport, bright and plastered with ridiculous stickers. It was enough to make anyone cringe, except perhaps for five year old fairy princesses. "Don't be jealous that I'll never lose my luggage," Zhou Mi told him airily as he picked his things off the carousel a good fifteen minutes before the other members managed to retrieve theirs.
In this world, he had Zhou Mi demanding to be photographed in all sorts of strange places, posing to best show off his new outfit. He had Zhou Mi pointing out sky lanterns glowing in the night sky, murmuring stories from his past into his ear. He had Zhou Mi whining at him, laughing at him, and putting up with Kyuhyun's mockery. He had Zhou Mi singing with him, accompanying him, and just being there. All the time. A constant reminder in his very existence.
Kyuhyun ended up on his bed, eyes unfocused as his thoughts drifted.
In this world, Zhou Mi dressed down in tight jeans that hung low off his hips. He dressed up in pressed suits that molded to his body and showed off his long, lean lines. His hair fell artfully - dark, red undertones - over his brow, leading the eye down to his lips. His lips. Kyuhyun's thoughts lingered there awhile. And his ears, always glinting with those small studs. His collarbones, framed by a low-cut shirt or an unbuttoned collar, tie hanging loose. Kyuhyun licked his suddenly dry lips. Those arms, not as scrawny as they used to be, and hands, long-fingered and touching Kyuhyun at every opportunity.
Kyuhyun wasn't stupid. Not completely stupid, anyway. Surely he was at least a little stupid for having put this off so long. He didn't want anyone else touching Zhou Mi, but had he cockblocked himself in the process? Too busy warding off the others to just sink into this possibility and grab on with both hands.
He levered himself to his feet and padded to the door in his pajamas. No time like the present, he told himself. This way, he could avoid another day of Heechul's lectures and machinations as an added bonus.
Ryeowook opened the door of the other apartment. "Kyuhyun! Did you need something?"
I need get into Zhou Mi's room so I can wait for him to come back so I can confess. Kyuhyun considered it, but in the end he kept it to himself. "I just need to kill some time. Do you want to drink a little?"
A little liquid courage couldn't hurt. And his tolerance being what it was, a glass or two of wine would hardly put him out of commission.
Ryeowook's face brightened. "Sure! Just let me get that bottle..."
Four shots of soju later, because Ryeowook didn't believe in wine when there was harder liquor around, Ryeowook's voice was nothing more than a soft, slurred buzz in the back of Kyuhyun's mind. He fell asleep on the couch thinking of Zhou Mi's eyes, dark and serious, trained on him. Of his voice, warm, saying his name.
***
"Kuixian. Kuixian, wake up. You should go to bed."
Blearily, he pried open his eyes. "What time is it?" he mumbled in Chinese.
Knuckles stroked down his cheek, a familiar touch. "Two in the morning," Zhou Mi replied softly. "Come on, Kuixian." He slid a hand under Kyuhyun's arm and helped him to his feet.
"Do you need help, hyung?" Ryeowook asked, appearing behind Zhou Mi.
Kyuhyun twitched as he pitched forward. "Henry's lonely," he said indistinctly into Zhou Mi's shoulder. "Go keep him company."
Ryeowook laughed. Indulgent. Jackass. "All right, Kyuhyun. Call me if you need anything," he said to Zhou Mi and then he was gone.
Kyuhyun muttered unflattering things about people who should stop clinging and go away.
Zhou Mi laughed into his hair. "Why are you sleeping here?" He was speaking in Korean again and it made something flare inside Kyuhyun. The way his mouth shaped those sounds, switching so deftly from Mandarin, always with that tinge of foreignness to otherwise familiar sounds. Something new. Different, but in a good way.
Kyuhyun wondered if Zhou Mi felt this way when Kyuhyun spoke in Chinese.
"Ge," he said experimentally and Zhou Mi froze in the midst of his efforts of nudging Kyuhyun towards the door.
"Kuixian?"
"I feel that..." He trailed off. Half-awake was not the best state in which to attempt Chinese, apparently. He switched back, still speaking mostly into Zhou Mi's shoulder, rather muffled. "You know everyone loves you, right? No one is avoiding you." He curled his hands into Zhou Mi's shirt, feeling the warmth of Zhou Mi's body underneath. "Everyone. Heechul and Hankyung and Sungmin and Siwon and Ryeowook and Henry and Donghae and Hyukjae and Jungmo and Changmin and Jonghyun and-"
Zhou Mi stopped him before he could list out half of SM Entertainment. Maybe all of it. "I, yes. I know I'm very lucky. I'm very grateful. What are you saying, Kyuhyun?"
"Me, too."
Zhou Mi's gentle fingers nudged his chin up until their eyes met. There was a questioning look in his eyes. "Kyuhyun?"
So serious. His heart was racing stupidly fast. He wanted to die a little bit, but that was par for the course in how Kyuhyun handled embarrassment. (Not well.)
"Me, too," he repeated quietly.
Kyuhyun was not a romantic like Donghae or Ryeowook or Zhou Mi. He was a bit of a cynic, all things told, and a realist at the very minimum. Fairy tale romances were ridiculous; even the dramas they all watched tended to be over the top. It was naive to believe things worked like that in real life.
(One glaring difference, for instance, was that not one fairy tale or TV drama dealt with the difficulties of being a ridiculously large boy band. They had no idea.)
He wasn't expecting some kind of perfect confession scene, not honestly. If he was feeling inordinately warm and hazy, it was only due to his half-asleep, cotton-filled mind dulling the nerves. It was the familiar comfort of Zhou Mi's arms around him and the warmth of his body. If Kyuhyun had been more awake, and consequently more aware of himself to feel hideously awkward and uncertain, he might've tried to extricate himself from the situation. "I'll just...go now," he might've said. He could be a smooth operator with a plan, but he hadn't walked into this confession with a plan, leaving him with nothing but awkward, uncomfortable honesty.
Kyuhyun didn't expect some perfect moment, but he ended up getting it.
Zhou Mi's brow crinkled in thought as he stared at Kyuhyun. Then he laughed, suddenly, and said, "Have you been keeping the other members away from me, Cho Kyuhyun? Is that why I haven't gotten to spend much time with them lately? Have you been cockblocking?"
His mouth opened to defend himself.
"How do you even know that word?" was the only thing he could think of to say.
"Heechul-hyung, of course." Zhou Mi's eyes were bright with merriment. His arms tightened around Kyuhyun. "So, really? Cockblocking? Kyuhyun, you child."
"You... You're too friendly! And you talk on the phone too much!"
Zhou Mi just beamed at him.
"Did your bill go up three thousand dollars?" Kyuhyun demanded. "With all that texting and calling to Korea, honestly! You should be more careful of the expenses. The company won't pay them all."
"Kuixian," Zhou Mi said in Chinese, and Kyuhyun could drown in the depths of the affection in his voice, "I thought you understood me the best."
"I don't even know you," Kyuhyun argued back in the same language. His lips lifted.
They were still giggling when their mouths finally met.
God, Zhou Mi did make him stupid. He hated that.
His hands drifted up Zhou Mi's back, pulling him closer, mouth opening to deepen the kiss.
Well, no. He didn't really. Kyuhyun might stretch the inconvenient truths and twist them around to suit his purposes, but he was not, despite what Heechul claimed, a lying liar who lied.
He stuck by his words: he didn't care who Zhou Mi spent time with. Just so long as it was Kyuhyun.
***
Speaking of which, Kyuhyun thought it might help to pass the message along.
Henry watched as Kyuhyun fiddled with Zhou Mi's necklace and snickered to himself. He said nothing, a resigned expression creeping into his eyes. Neither did Eunhyuk or Sungmin say a word, staring at the way Kyuhyun toyed with the necklace as Zhou Mi spoke into the microphone, trying to maintain his professional demeanor. Donghae didn't even notice, zoning out as he tended to do during interviews. Ryeowook looked, again, indulgent.
Siwon was busy with his own schedule, hah, and no one else was touching Zhou Mi.
The cameramen and interviewer looked as though they wanted to comment but, when none of the other members seemed to react at all, held themselves back.
This, Kyuhyun thought, pleased, was the way things were supposed to be.
"Having fun?" Zhou Mi interrupted himself to ask, half-turning to laugh up at Kyuhyun.
You have no idea, thought Kyuhyun gleefully as he replaced the chain against the back of Zhou Mi's neck and patted his collar back into place. The message he broadcast was loud and clear, he hoped.
"Did you want a blinking neon sign too?" Henry asked him later, dryly.
"Would I need one in English for you to be able to understand it?"
Henry elbowed him. "I could be blind and still understand. Does Heechul-hyung know you finally owned up? I mean, I don't mind sleeping with Zhou Mi at night, but I could seriously do without Heechul's nagging calls."
Kyuhyun showed Henry just how much sympathy he had for him by stealing Henry's post-dinner fruit. "Henry-sshi, you're all grown up now. You can sleep on your own. Or with Donghae-hyung," he said solemnly. Henry's mouth fell open as a flush suffused his face.
"What, you, I'm straight!"
Still smirking, Kyuhyun left Henry sputtering behind him and made his way to Zhou Mi's room. He set his stolen orange aside and then folded himself into Zhou Mi's arms without a word, spending the next few minutes introducing his tongue to the inside of Zhou Mi's mouth. He had much more exciting plans for the night than eating fruit. Or even outraging Henry.
Zhou Mi combed a hand through Kyuhyun's hair and kissed him again, light. "You know, you have me now. You can probably stop cockblocking the others from spending any time with me."
Kyuhyun made a considering sound. Then he mouthed at Zhou Mi's throat, a wet little suck. Zhou Mi's pulse jumped under his lips. "Nah."
***
mission: accomplished
"Seasoning and I are going shopping," Heechul announced to the world at large.
"What?" Kyuhyun scrambled to pause and save his game. "I'm coming too!"
Zhou Mi shot him an incredulous look. Heechul just looked privately amused.
"Have fun carrying bags," Donghae muttered behind him, not taking his eyes off the drama on TV.
Kyuhyun did end up carrying the bags, but he bore it with grim determination. Nowadays, he knew better than to expect to be able to cockblock Heechul from spending as much time with Zhou Mi as he liked. He couldn't even prevent Heechul from being as grabby as he wanted, constantly flirtatious and about half the time for Kyuhyun's benefit. Heechul loved to rile him.
But if Heechul was going to be so inappropriately clingy to Kyuhyun's boyfriend, Kyuhyun was going to be there supervising as much as he could. He trailed after Zhou Mi and Heechul, who were chattering excitedly, thankful for his handheld Nintendo DS. It made up, slightly, for the numerous bags hanging off his wrists, and the way that- Hey! Had Heechul just slipped a hand into the back pocket of Zhou Mi's jeans?
Kyuhyun gritted his teeth and thought hard. If he protested, Heechul would only do it more.
"Can we stop for a second?" he called. He watched the two of them come to a halt out of the corner of his eye, making a production of rearranging the bags on his arms, shifting them around in his hands.
Zhou Mi fluttered back to his side, concerned. "Kyuhyun, are you okay? Is this too many bags? Do you need help? I'm sorry, thank you for carrying them."
"Ah, here, just take a few. This one and, here, this one." Zhou Mi eagerly relieved Kyuhyun of the bags in question. Then Kyuhyun turned a sweet expression up towards him. "Thank you," he said.
Simple. Sweet. Effective, when used sparingly, as Zhou Mi all but melted into a puddle beside him. He nearly radiated affection as he smiled at Kyuhyun. "It's no problem. I'm glad you came with me and Heechul-hyung." A fleeting touch to his head, fingers running lightly through his hair and stroking down the back of his neck.
Kyuhyun enjoyed the shiver in his spine.
"Oh, for fuck's sake."
Heechul sounded absolutely disgusted.
Zhou Mi turned towards him, making soothing noises, toting Kyuhyun along with him. Behind his back, Kyuhyun sent Heechul a triumphant look.
"You, Cho Kyuhyun, are an underhanded, devious little sneak," Heechul hissed at him when he was within hearing distance. He looked faintly approving.
Kyuhyun grinned. It looked like he had at long last reached the final level and beaten the final boss: cockblocking even Kim Heechul himself.
Operation: Cockblock (final name, trademark pending) could be considered a rousing success.
--
Started: 2011.04.03 | Finished: 2011.04.09
Notes: I have a glut of notes for this fic, but I will try to condense: I love Qmi, I love Michul, and I love everyone loving Mi. (And they do. Everyone mentioned in this fic has shown some starry-eyed adoration for Mi irl and it makes me happy.) There are many references to ridiculous SJM and Qmi interactions that actually happened, taken from various SJM Taiwanese radio shows, variety shows, and interviews. (Catch 'em all!) Although - timelines, what timelines? I don't need no stinkin' timelines. Thanks be to various baidu bars, weibo accounts, and @zhouminews. Qmi is disgusting, sickening, nauseating, gross, and my favorites. ♥ Also, Kyuhyun is a troll. = ^ =