Rayston Academy For Boys - Fourteen - The End
Title: Rayston Academy For Boys
Author: Chionophobia
Rating: PG-13 for now NC-17
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon (over done, yes, but still hot)
POV: Ryan
Summary: Ryan is a squeamish gay boy, Brendon is the bored new kid at the private school, Brent is in love with his teacher and Spencer annoys the hell out of everyone. Secrets, love and friendships break. Chaos ensues. AU
Disclaimer: Don’t know, don’t own. Never have, never will.
Author Notes: Final chapter. Don't really know how I feel about it. This didn't turn out how I imagined it from the beginning, but I guess it could have been worse. I'd like to thank everyone who's ever read and commented on this; you have no idea how happy it makes me to have people actually taking time out of their lives to read my crap. It's insane. You guys deserve medals. I'm off to work on my new fic now, talk to you later, lovelies :)
(One)(Two)(Three)(Four)(Five)(Six)(Seven)
(Eight) (Nine) (Ten) (Eleven) (Twelve) (Thirteen)
Fourteen
“What the hell do you want?”
I willed myself to keep a pleasant expression on my face and not hit him right away. So I just stared at Spencer’s hostile face with a smile on mine.
“I need to talk to you. Can I come in?”
Spencer looked taken aback for a second, but quickly rearranged his face to a look of deepest indifference. “Whatever.” But he didn’t shut the door in my face.
I closed the door behind me, quietly letting it slip shut as I let my eyes graze the interior of Spence’s room. I had never been there before, never even looked inside curiously, but now I was very curious for some reason.
The walls were the same color blue in his room, but so many posters and pictures covered them that it was almost impossible to notice if you didn’t specifically look for it. His bed was along the left wall, just like mine, and the desk was also in the same place, a mess of things on it.
“Did you have something on your mind or did you just come here to glower at my stuff?”
My eyes snapped to his. “I came to yell at you, actually.”
“Oh.” He looked mildly interested, brow quirked and all. “For something in particular or just because I piss you off in general?”
“Because you told the guy I love that I hate him.”
Spencer frowned. “Oh. That.”
“Yes, that.” I glared at him.
He just looked at me. “I guess I could deny ever saying it. Or apologize. But I’m not going to.”
“Of course,” I snorted. “You’ll do anything to get him, right? You don’t give a shit about how I much it fucking hurt having him mad at me.”
“Well, it’s not like you’re the good guy either!” Spencer retorted angrily. “Does he know what an awesome friend you’ve been known to be?”
“I just told him about it,” I said, somewhat shocked that it was brought up, and a bit nervous because this was the first time Spencer and I had even come close to talking about it.
“And what did he say? Told you to fuck off, I hope.”
“Actually he told me to talk to you.” For some reason, this had Spencer looking alarmed.
“Why?”
“To… apologize.” The word taster bitter in my mouth but I deserved it. It was all my fault after all.
“Did he say anything else?”
“Like what?” I crossed my arms over my thin chest, surveying the boy in front of me who had once been my friend. His expression was one of caution and I quickly sensed that something that had to do with Brendon and him was hidden from me.
The muscles in Spencer’s face relaxed visibly. “Nothing.” He laid down on his bed, arms tucked underneath his head and feet crossed at the very end. “You can start.”
“Start what?” I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. It was uncomfortable standing up in the middle of the room, staring down at his form of pure relaxation. I went to pull out the chair by his desk and was met with a mess of shirts and worn socks. Pursing my lips distastefully, I pulled down the sleeve of my hoodie, using it as a temporary glove as I shoved the chair’s contents onto the floor.
Spencer watched me, looking close to amused. “Apologizing.”
I groaned as I sat down, half-wishing that I hadn’t listened to Brendon and just started groping him right away. He wouldn’t have said no to that, definitely not. I took a deep breath and turned my eyes to the ceiling. “I’m sorry I fucked up so bad and messed up your life. I was… confused. And angry. Really angry. Not at you; more at the situation… more at myself.”
“You really hurt me,” Spencer said simply, like someone indifferently would state “it’s raining outside”. “I couldn’t figure out what I had done wrong and why you wouldn’t talk to me. Eventually I just gave up. I never forgot though.”
I couldn’t ignore his face any longer. He looked sad and his eyes were turned down, not meeting mine. I sighed. “I never forgot it either. How could I? You were my best friend.” I paused, dropping my gaze to the messy floor that I just didn’t see. “You were my best friend and I fucked up and lost you. I hate myself for that, trust me.”
Spencer shifted on the bed, looking up but not into my eyes. “I don’t want you to hate yourself, Ryan. I don’t hate you or anything.”
I snorted. “Yeah right.”
“It’s true.”
“So you’re not pissed off at me for stealing Brendon from you?” I wondered, sceptically. I could see his mouth twitch.
“This is not about Brendon.”
“He’s involved,” I insisted. “We can’t leave him out of this; he’s part of the reason we’re fighting, isn’t it? We both want him.”
Spencer bit his lip, looking thoughtful and slightly troubled. “No Ryan.”
“No what?” His lack of being able to express himself was beginning to irritate me.
“You’ve got it all wrong.”
Silence again. Eye roll from me.
“I’ve got what wrong?”
He hesitated for a second before speaking. “You’re right about the fact that you want him - it’s kinda obvious. And he wants you - I know that. It’s just…” he stopped, sighing and running his hand through his hair before covering his eyes with it. “I’m not in love with him.”
“Oh,” I said, surprised. “Good.” Suddenly I was the inarticulate genius.
“Don’t go thinking everything’s all perfect just yet,” Spence muttered, still with his arm over his face.
“Well it’s pretty close, isn’t it? I’m in love with Brendon and you’re not. Maybe we could at least try to get back to normal,” I suggested, half about ready to leave and go back to the warm boy in my bed.
A sigh came from Spencer. “You don’t understand. There is someone I want, but it’s not Brendon.”
“Okay, who then?” I wondered, relaxing in the chair as I was obviously not allowed to leave just yet.
Spencer removed his arm from his face and lifted his head to look at me, eyebrows arched. “Yeah, who could it be…”
I stared at him, shrugging. I didn’t really care at this point, all I wanted was to be back with Brendon and have his arms all over me; I could listen to Spencer talking about his school boy crush some other time.
Though, he continued to stare at me like I was missing something very obvious. “You really don’t know?”
“Know what?” I was annoyed now.
“You’re so fucking stupid,” he muttered and stood up, walking over to me. I vaguely wondered if he was going to slap me or something.
“Well fuck you!” I wasn’t exactly the master of great comebacks, but it was all I could say with him hovering over me. “Why don’t you just tell me what you wanna say?” I stood up too, making us level.
“Sometimes I wish I didn’t feel this way; when you go all obliviously stupid on me. But when you’re not, it’s easy to see why I’ve loved you so much all these years.”
I was fairly sure my ears weren’t working properly. “I’m sorry, what?”
“It’s you, you idiot,” Spencer said, though smiling slightly.
I was suddenly aware that he was close for a different reason than to hit me now. His chest was only inches from mine and so was his face, though it was coming closer. His mouth had lost its smile now and his eyes seemed concentrated only on mine.
This would probably be a good time to get the useful part off your brain restarted, Ryan, I thought to myself as I watched, as in slow motion, how his lips sought out mine.
“Stop me,” he mumbled, so quietly that I wondered if he had spoken at all.
Closer and closer he came.
And I stopped him. He opened his eyes, watching the firm look in mine and pulled away, not being quick enough to hide the hurt expression on his face.
My heart had started beating irregularly when he was close to me, more out of surprise than anything else, bit now it seemed to slow down. “I… I didn’t know Spencer.”
He wouldn’t look into my eyes. “I know.”
“If I had, I…”
“Then what?” His voice was sharp all of a sudden. “What would you have done, huh?”
I exhaled slowly, forcing my irritation to go with the breath. “You should have told me.”
“What was I supposed to have said? Hey asshole, I’m in love with you?” He rolled his eyes.
I felt like chucking the nearest hard object at him. “You could have been nice to me,” I pointed out.
“You could have been nice to me too,” he reminded me. “I liked you even before we kissed, you know. Way before. Like when we were eleven or something. I didn’t know what it meant, of course, liking another guy. I thought everyone liked their friends like that.” He smiled a little, more to himself than to me. “You were my best friend in the world and I loved you. I didn’t even realize how much and in which way until I didn’t have you anymore.”
I bit my lip and looked down at the floor at the sound of his hurt voice. “I’m sorry,” I offered lamely.
“I called you directly after we…made out,” he continued, seemingly not hearing my apology at all, “but there was no answer. I tried for hours.”
Slowly, I sank down into the chair again, starting to mumble the tale I had kept in my head for so long, “I got home and just slammed my door shut. I wouldn’t open it when my parents asked me what was wrong. We all heard the phone, but I was busy freaking out and mom was busy freaking out over my behaviour. Dad spent half the night trying to talk me into coming out.”
Spencer continued like there had been no interruption. “You weren’t in school the day after, or the next day, or the day after that. I was worried sick. Fucking scared and hating myself and crying and shit. No one answered the phone at your house and every time I went by it seemed empty. Then after a week the teacher mentioned something about you transferring someplace else.”
It was painful looking at him at that point, but I wouldn’t turn my eyes down now. No way. “Dad kicked down the door after a few days. He had arranged me to go here. They forced me to.”
We were quiet for a while, just half listening the dull thumping of music that came through the wall from the room next to Spencer’s. He had sat back down on his bed, head turned down and eyes on his fingers that seemed to be in the middle of a messy war.
“Fuck you for loving him.” He said finally, quietly.
“Well fuck you for loving me.”
He smiled a bit.
“You’re freaked out.”
“I’m not freaked out.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Stop trying to analyze me.”
“I’m not analyzing you, I’m merely saying what you and I both know is true,” he corrected.
It didn’t take many seconds for me to make up my mind. I jumped from the chair and up to him, placed my hands on his shoulders and leaned down to kiss him before he could make any move at all. It was pretty innocent; no tongues or swap of saliva or anything, just the right kind of pressure.
Pulling back to survey his startled expression, I smiled. “See? I’m not freaked out.”
He just nodded and I smiled again at his dumbfounded expression, before letting the smirk come off my face. “I’m going back to Brendon now,” I said, carefully measuring his expression. “Will you be alright?”
Blue eyes met darker ones and he nodded slowly.
“Thank you,” he whispered, but I knew I wasn’t supposed to have heard it.
:-:-:-:
When I entered my room, I was met with a sight that made me feel like I was walking into a day dream. A wet one. Brendon was on my bed where I had left him, but was only dressed in the tightest pair of black boxers he owned. Or wait. Those were mine.
“How did it go?” He wondered seriously, acting like there was nothing at all out of the ordinary, because he goes around wearing other people’s under wear like, all the time.
“Good, I guess,” I mumbled, wasting no time in getting in bed with him. My hand slid over his warm stomach. He shivered pleasantly.
“Did he tell you?”
“That he was in love with me, yeah. Of course you knew.” I sighed.
He smiled. “And did you apologize?”
“That I did.”
“Then what are we waiting for?”
I searched out his eyes and found the mischievous glint in them that I knew. He started fumbling with my belt buckle, but I stopped him by putting my hands on his to still them. “Hey, can we just… lie here? I don’t want to come and then fall asleep afterwards. I just want to be with you. And not unconsciously.”
He didn’t say anything, but obliged my wish and slid up my body, placing his face next to mine.
Then he kissed me.
I swear I was in another world, another freaking universe because hey - this was wonderful! His incredibly soft lips massaging mine, moving together perfectly, was all I wanted to experience from now on. Fuck food, fuck sleep, fuck everything else in the whole world. It was just Brendon who mattered from now on.
Life was amazing.
End
Author: Chionophobia
Rating: PG-13 for now NC-17
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon (over done, yes, but still hot)
POV: Ryan
Summary: Ryan is a squeamish gay boy, Brendon is the bored new kid at the private school, Brent is in love with his teacher and Spencer annoys the hell out of everyone. Secrets, love and friendships break. Chaos ensues. AU
Disclaimer: Don’t know, don’t own. Never have, never will.
Author Notes: Final chapter. Don't really know how I feel about it. This didn't turn out how I imagined it from the beginning, but I guess it could have been worse. I'd like to thank everyone who's ever read and commented on this; you have no idea how happy it makes me to have people actually taking time out of their lives to read my crap. It's insane. You guys deserve medals. I'm off to work on my new fic now, talk to you later, lovelies :)
(One)(Two)(Three)(Four)(Five)(Six)(Seven)
(Eight) (Nine) (Ten) (Eleven) (Twelve) (Thirteen)
Fourteen
“What the hell do you want?”
I willed myself to keep a pleasant expression on my face and not hit him right away. So I just stared at Spencer’s hostile face with a smile on mine.
“I need to talk to you. Can I come in?”
Spencer looked taken aback for a second, but quickly rearranged his face to a look of deepest indifference. “Whatever.” But he didn’t shut the door in my face.
I closed the door behind me, quietly letting it slip shut as I let my eyes graze the interior of Spence’s room. I had never been there before, never even looked inside curiously, but now I was very curious for some reason.
The walls were the same color blue in his room, but so many posters and pictures covered them that it was almost impossible to notice if you didn’t specifically look for it. His bed was along the left wall, just like mine, and the desk was also in the same place, a mess of things on it.
“Did you have something on your mind or did you just come here to glower at my stuff?”
My eyes snapped to his. “I came to yell at you, actually.”
“Oh.” He looked mildly interested, brow quirked and all. “For something in particular or just because I piss you off in general?”
“Because you told the guy I love that I hate him.”
Spencer frowned. “Oh. That.”
“Yes, that.” I glared at him.
He just looked at me. “I guess I could deny ever saying it. Or apologize. But I’m not going to.”
“Of course,” I snorted. “You’ll do anything to get him, right? You don’t give a shit about how I much it fucking hurt having him mad at me.”
“Well, it’s not like you’re the good guy either!” Spencer retorted angrily. “Does he know what an awesome friend you’ve been known to be?”
“I just told him about it,” I said, somewhat shocked that it was brought up, and a bit nervous because this was the first time Spencer and I had even come close to talking about it.
“And what did he say? Told you to fuck off, I hope.”
“Actually he told me to talk to you.” For some reason, this had Spencer looking alarmed.
“Why?”
“To… apologize.” The word taster bitter in my mouth but I deserved it. It was all my fault after all.
“Did he say anything else?”
“Like what?” I crossed my arms over my thin chest, surveying the boy in front of me who had once been my friend. His expression was one of caution and I quickly sensed that something that had to do with Brendon and him was hidden from me.
The muscles in Spencer’s face relaxed visibly. “Nothing.” He laid down on his bed, arms tucked underneath his head and feet crossed at the very end. “You can start.”
“Start what?” I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. It was uncomfortable standing up in the middle of the room, staring down at his form of pure relaxation. I went to pull out the chair by his desk and was met with a mess of shirts and worn socks. Pursing my lips distastefully, I pulled down the sleeve of my hoodie, using it as a temporary glove as I shoved the chair’s contents onto the floor.
Spencer watched me, looking close to amused. “Apologizing.”
I groaned as I sat down, half-wishing that I hadn’t listened to Brendon and just started groping him right away. He wouldn’t have said no to that, definitely not. I took a deep breath and turned my eyes to the ceiling. “I’m sorry I fucked up so bad and messed up your life. I was… confused. And angry. Really angry. Not at you; more at the situation… more at myself.”
“You really hurt me,” Spencer said simply, like someone indifferently would state “it’s raining outside”. “I couldn’t figure out what I had done wrong and why you wouldn’t talk to me. Eventually I just gave up. I never forgot though.”
I couldn’t ignore his face any longer. He looked sad and his eyes were turned down, not meeting mine. I sighed. “I never forgot it either. How could I? You were my best friend.” I paused, dropping my gaze to the messy floor that I just didn’t see. “You were my best friend and I fucked up and lost you. I hate myself for that, trust me.”
Spencer shifted on the bed, looking up but not into my eyes. “I don’t want you to hate yourself, Ryan. I don’t hate you or anything.”
I snorted. “Yeah right.”
“It’s true.”
“So you’re not pissed off at me for stealing Brendon from you?” I wondered, sceptically. I could see his mouth twitch.
“This is not about Brendon.”
“He’s involved,” I insisted. “We can’t leave him out of this; he’s part of the reason we’re fighting, isn’t it? We both want him.”
Spencer bit his lip, looking thoughtful and slightly troubled. “No Ryan.”
“No what?” His lack of being able to express himself was beginning to irritate me.
“You’ve got it all wrong.”
Silence again. Eye roll from me.
“I’ve got what wrong?”
He hesitated for a second before speaking. “You’re right about the fact that you want him - it’s kinda obvious. And he wants you - I know that. It’s just…” he stopped, sighing and running his hand through his hair before covering his eyes with it. “I’m not in love with him.”
“Oh,” I said, surprised. “Good.” Suddenly I was the inarticulate genius.
“Don’t go thinking everything’s all perfect just yet,” Spence muttered, still with his arm over his face.
“Well it’s pretty close, isn’t it? I’m in love with Brendon and you’re not. Maybe we could at least try to get back to normal,” I suggested, half about ready to leave and go back to the warm boy in my bed.
A sigh came from Spencer. “You don’t understand. There is someone I want, but it’s not Brendon.”
“Okay, who then?” I wondered, relaxing in the chair as I was obviously not allowed to leave just yet.
Spencer removed his arm from his face and lifted his head to look at me, eyebrows arched. “Yeah, who could it be…”
I stared at him, shrugging. I didn’t really care at this point, all I wanted was to be back with Brendon and have his arms all over me; I could listen to Spencer talking about his school boy crush some other time.
Though, he continued to stare at me like I was missing something very obvious. “You really don’t know?”
“Know what?” I was annoyed now.
“You’re so fucking stupid,” he muttered and stood up, walking over to me. I vaguely wondered if he was going to slap me or something.
“Well fuck you!” I wasn’t exactly the master of great comebacks, but it was all I could say with him hovering over me. “Why don’t you just tell me what you wanna say?” I stood up too, making us level.
“Sometimes I wish I didn’t feel this way; when you go all obliviously stupid on me. But when you’re not, it’s easy to see why I’ve loved you so much all these years.”
I was fairly sure my ears weren’t working properly. “I’m sorry, what?”
“It’s you, you idiot,” Spencer said, though smiling slightly.
I was suddenly aware that he was close for a different reason than to hit me now. His chest was only inches from mine and so was his face, though it was coming closer. His mouth had lost its smile now and his eyes seemed concentrated only on mine.
This would probably be a good time to get the useful part off your brain restarted, Ryan, I thought to myself as I watched, as in slow motion, how his lips sought out mine.
“Stop me,” he mumbled, so quietly that I wondered if he had spoken at all.
Closer and closer he came.
And I stopped him. He opened his eyes, watching the firm look in mine and pulled away, not being quick enough to hide the hurt expression on his face.
My heart had started beating irregularly when he was close to me, more out of surprise than anything else, bit now it seemed to slow down. “I… I didn’t know Spencer.”
He wouldn’t look into my eyes. “I know.”
“If I had, I…”
“Then what?” His voice was sharp all of a sudden. “What would you have done, huh?”
I exhaled slowly, forcing my irritation to go with the breath. “You should have told me.”
“What was I supposed to have said? Hey asshole, I’m in love with you?” He rolled his eyes.
I felt like chucking the nearest hard object at him. “You could have been nice to me,” I pointed out.
“You could have been nice to me too,” he reminded me. “I liked you even before we kissed, you know. Way before. Like when we were eleven or something. I didn’t know what it meant, of course, liking another guy. I thought everyone liked their friends like that.” He smiled a little, more to himself than to me. “You were my best friend in the world and I loved you. I didn’t even realize how much and in which way until I didn’t have you anymore.”
I bit my lip and looked down at the floor at the sound of his hurt voice. “I’m sorry,” I offered lamely.
“I called you directly after we…made out,” he continued, seemingly not hearing my apology at all, “but there was no answer. I tried for hours.”
Slowly, I sank down into the chair again, starting to mumble the tale I had kept in my head for so long, “I got home and just slammed my door shut. I wouldn’t open it when my parents asked me what was wrong. We all heard the phone, but I was busy freaking out and mom was busy freaking out over my behaviour. Dad spent half the night trying to talk me into coming out.”
Spencer continued like there had been no interruption. “You weren’t in school the day after, or the next day, or the day after that. I was worried sick. Fucking scared and hating myself and crying and shit. No one answered the phone at your house and every time I went by it seemed empty. Then after a week the teacher mentioned something about you transferring someplace else.”
It was painful looking at him at that point, but I wouldn’t turn my eyes down now. No way. “Dad kicked down the door after a few days. He had arranged me to go here. They forced me to.”
We were quiet for a while, just half listening the dull thumping of music that came through the wall from the room next to Spencer’s. He had sat back down on his bed, head turned down and eyes on his fingers that seemed to be in the middle of a messy war.
“Fuck you for loving him.” He said finally, quietly.
“Well fuck you for loving me.”
He smiled a bit.
“You’re freaked out.”
“I’m not freaked out.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Stop trying to analyze me.”
“I’m not analyzing you, I’m merely saying what you and I both know is true,” he corrected.
It didn’t take many seconds for me to make up my mind. I jumped from the chair and up to him, placed my hands on his shoulders and leaned down to kiss him before he could make any move at all. It was pretty innocent; no tongues or swap of saliva or anything, just the right kind of pressure.
Pulling back to survey his startled expression, I smiled. “See? I’m not freaked out.”
He just nodded and I smiled again at his dumbfounded expression, before letting the smirk come off my face. “I’m going back to Brendon now,” I said, carefully measuring his expression. “Will you be alright?”
Blue eyes met darker ones and he nodded slowly.
“Thank you,” he whispered, but I knew I wasn’t supposed to have heard it.
:-:-:-:
When I entered my room, I was met with a sight that made me feel like I was walking into a day dream. A wet one. Brendon was on my bed where I had left him, but was only dressed in the tightest pair of black boxers he owned. Or wait. Those were mine.
“How did it go?” He wondered seriously, acting like there was nothing at all out of the ordinary, because he goes around wearing other people’s under wear like, all the time.
“Good, I guess,” I mumbled, wasting no time in getting in bed with him. My hand slid over his warm stomach. He shivered pleasantly.
“Did he tell you?”
“That he was in love with me, yeah. Of course you knew.” I sighed.
He smiled. “And did you apologize?”
“That I did.”
“Then what are we waiting for?”
I searched out his eyes and found the mischievous glint in them that I knew. He started fumbling with my belt buckle, but I stopped him by putting my hands on his to still them. “Hey, can we just… lie here? I don’t want to come and then fall asleep afterwards. I just want to be with you. And not unconsciously.”
He didn’t say anything, but obliged my wish and slid up my body, placing his face next to mine.
Then he kissed me.
I swear I was in another world, another freaking universe because hey - this was wonderful! His incredibly soft lips massaging mine, moving together perfectly, was all I wanted to experience from now on. Fuck food, fuck sleep, fuck everything else in the whole world. It was just Brendon who mattered from now on.
Life was amazing.
End