"Are You Dateable?"
So, my cousin Stey just handed me a book that she thinks I should read.
It's called "Dateable: Are you? Are they?".
I've decided to post a few little bits of what I've read in just browsing through the book. Ready?
Chapter one: It will not last.
25- ________ = __________
Your age Years left
_____________________ X __________ = ______________________
number of crushes Years left number of crushes 'til
in the last 12 months you find the one
-------------------------------
Tips for guys:
* "My first suggestion to you guys is to tell the truth: "i'm so glad we are together right now." Problem is, what will a girl believe you mean? "He knows we're meant to be together. He feels the same way I do. He's the one.""
* "So what about the brutal truth? "I'm glad we are dating now because this will make me a better man for my future wife." That's the truth, but what happens when you say it? Smack! It just doesn't fly."
* "Here's the problem: No matter what you guys say, girls tend to attach strings. So guys, I can't help you than to say be careful with your words. Tell them honestly how you feel, and don't exaggerate."
You need to understand this fellas, because we are the ones who make the problem worse. It's like this. A girl starts liking us, and then we start telling her what she wants to hear:
~"You are the most wonderful girl I've ever met."
~"I feel so different when i'm with you."
~"I've never met anyone like you."
~"I want to be with you forever."
Which stage are you in?
Stage A. In a relationship.
You are working hard to keep the love alive. Beware--you are in danger of compromising and selling ou to try to make something last that never has a chance.
Stage 2. Trying to get a relationship.
Work, Work, Work. You are spending way too much time trying to get noticed. Dress, talk, party invites, anything to become a crush magnet. Spending all your energy trying to get someone who will eventually leave you.
Stage TT. Wanting a relationship.
Wake up! You daydream abou thte fairytale relationship. You trhink about how wonderful it would be if only you had one. You are living in a fantasy world instead of experiencing the excitement of real life.
Will Your Crush Last?
1. You have been dating ____ Months.
2. On a scale of one to ten (with ten being the highest), your love is a _______ .
3. You plan on getting married at the end of highschool. ___yes ___no
4. You have said "I love you" ___yes ___no
5. You are sure God told you that your crush is the one. ____yes ____no
6. You are going to only be friends until you are old enough to marry. ____yes ____no
7. You can't live without each other. ____yes ____no
8. You have gone to which base? 1st, 2.nd, 3rd, 4th (home)
[Scoring your answers::add all the numbers as follows]
1. Number of months: _____
2. Love rating: _____
3. Yes= 2 points; No=1 point _____
4. Yes= 2 points; No=1 point; Both of you have said it= 3 points _____
5. No= 2 points; Yes= 1 point _____
6. No= 2 points; Yes= 1 point _____
7. Yes= 2 points; No= 1 point _____
8. Number of bases you have gone to: _____
Total: ______
20+ : Stop Drop and roll! Your relationship is on fire, and not in a good way. You are on a crash course with tears and pain. I know you don't think so, but believe me, it's true. If you aren't old enough to get a job, pay your own bills, and make a home, then slow the boat down. You're wasting your energy playing house. Reas on. This book is for you.
15-19: Here's the deal. You are doing a good job--Kinda. But it looks like you are a little too loopy for each other. Slow down! it's not a race. And how fast it starts is how fast it will end. Take time to be friends. It won't kill the relationship if it's what God wants.
7-14 Wow! Your romance might just have a chance-a chance somewher ein the distant future. It looks like you are saving yourself for marriage. Good decision. Hang out. Be friends and wait 'til you are closer to the whole marriage thing before you start dumping everything into a relationship.
------------------------------------------
Quiz Time Again!!: Heartbreak Hotel
1. My BF(GF) and I:
a. talk on the phone a few times a week.
b. talk on the phone at least an hour a day.
c. have too much to do to be on the phone all the time.
2. When it comes to spending money:
a. the sky's the limit for my baby; I spend, spend, spend.
b. I like to buy a lot of little stuff for my sweetie; it makes him (her) feel like I am always thinking about him (her).
c. spend?! I'm a student. How can I spend money on someone? I'm broke!
3. Our physical life:
a. it's amazing-we are exporing all the possibilities of love.
b. we fool around a little, but we are saving intercourse for our wedding night.
c. purity it is, baby! we don't fool around with fooling around. we are too young to be making babies.
4. This is how well I know my love:
a. we try to shar the really important stuff with each other so we can get closer.
b. we tell each other everything! if we are meant to be together, we can't have any secrets.
c. there are still a lot of things we don't know about each other and that's okay.
5. When people talk about us, they probably say:
a. those two are perfect for each other; it's like they are already married.
b. they are both really good kids with great futures.
c. they make a cute couple. i hope they'll be together for a long time.
6. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, we are:
a. madly,100%, forever in love.
b. reall crazy over each other.
c. living life one day at a time.
7. On a scale of one to ten (ten being the highest), I would say that this relationship is a:
a. 5.
b. 11.
c. 10.
[Scoring-Add up your answers accordingly]
1. A=2; B=3; C=1 _____
2. A=3; B=2; C=1 _____
3. A=3; B=2; C=1 _____
4. A=2; B=3; C=1 _____
5. A=3; B=1; C=2 _____
6. A=3; B=2; C=1 _____
7. A=1; B=3; C=2 _____
17-21: Heartbreak hotel. You've just checked in. You are spending way too much of yourself on this crush that won't last. Sorry, I know you think it will, but statistics show that it won't. Now that ou've put so much in, expect the pain to immense when you break up. The breakup will be as powerful as the love is right now, so take cover. You're in for heartache.
12-16: Beware. You are treading on thin ice. You aren't in danger just yet, but it could be around the corncer. Don't lose the mystery. Everyone loves a chase, so slow down and let the friendship grow. Don't give too much or the pain of the breakup will kill.
7-11: Well done. You have a good head on your shoulders. It's gonna hurt when you break up, but you will recover quickly. Keep on having fun and getting to know each other, but no playing house. You guys are keeping it real.
------------------------------------------
If you want to be the one that got away:
~ Girls, shut up and be mysterious.
~ Be adventurous.
~ Be creative.
~ Be a carefree spirit.
~ Laugh.
~ Be positive.
~ Ask questions.
------------------------------------------
If I will do it for you, I will do it to you.
☼People who lie are liars.
---If I will lie for you, I will lie to you.
---If I will cheat for you, I will cheat on you.
---If I will be mad at someone for you, I will be mad at you for someone else.
---If I will do it for you, I will do it to you.
------------------------------------------
Guys love to win.
They know how to feed you all kinds of lines. Sure, your guy doesn't use them. He tells you what he really feels. He meants it. He even meants it when he says:
~ "I have never been with anyone like you before."
~ "I can't even make myself think about another girl."
~ "You are my dream come true."
~ "I feel like I have known you forever."
~ "I want to feel you close. Skin-On-Skin."
~ "We are going to be together forever. It's like we are already married."
~ "You make me feel so good. I want to make you feel that good."
~ "I feel so close to you when we make love."
~ "It's not sex baby, it's making love."
~ "We won't go all the way so it's okay."
~ "I was doubting our relationship, but now I know we were meant to be together."
~ "God brought us together."
~ "I have never told anyone else this..."
~ "I love you."
Guys use the emotional to get the physical. === Girls use the physical to get the emotional.
------------------------------------------
Lies Girls Believe:
I am different.
I am more important to him.
They didn't know how to treat him.
I love him more than they did.
I am better than his last girlfriend.
I will change him.
I am the best he's ever had.
He's thikning about me.
They weren't as nice as me.
They weren't as cute as me.
He'll be nicer to me.
He is sweeter to me than he was to the others.
I know him better than they did.
He has the power to be better because I love him so much.
It'd okay for me to call him.
It's not his fault.
------------------------------------------
Girl Quiz: The Crush -O- Meter
Answer True Or False
1. Honesty means telling him everything about yourself.
2. You think the faster her knows all about you, the faster he will like you.
3. You like to ask him alot of questions.
4. It's Thursday and he's asking you out for friday. You're free, so you say yes.
5. You has a great first date, so you call him the next day.
6. Your crush is totally shy, so you make the first move and ask him out.
7. He asks you what you're doing this weekend and you say "nothing."
8. You are served something you are allergic to, so you talk about your health for the next 10 minutes.
9. At the end of the date there are still so many things you want him to know about you.
10.You don't respond every time he IMs you.
11.You are every guy's best friend.
[Scoring=add up your answers as follows]
1. T=1, F=2
2. T=1, F=2
3. T=2, F=1
4. T=1, F=2
5. T=1, F=2
6. T=1, F=2
7. T=1, F=2
8. T=1, F=2
9. T=2, F=1
10.T=2, F=1
11.T=1, F=2
11-14: Dateless. The myster is gone. You're probably told him everything about you, so why would he want to see you again? But it's not too late. Start talking less and listening more. Let him bring up things to talk about. Ask him questions about himself. Stop talking about yourself so much. You have plenty of time for him to get to know you. Practice thikning about him and taking your eyes off yourself.
15-18: Hit-and-miss mysterious. Cool. You're left some mystery for him to discover about you. You still might need to back off from being the one who starts things all the time, though. Let him handle the chase part of the relationship. He's a guy, let him act like one. You know what you need to do. Helf of the time you do it. Try to act more mysterious more often. He'll love it.
19-22: Congrats! You're a wanted woman. You don't tell people everythin in the world about yourself. You know they can't take it all in at once, so you only give them a little peek at a time. Guys are dying to find out more about you. That's what keps 'em coming back for more. Your phone's probably ringing off the hook. Keep 'em guessing.
------------------------------------------
Thoughts? Comments?
More to come. Mebbe.
According to this book, i fail at life...and love? O.o I feel like this book is the equivilant of those cheesey myspace//LJ quizzes and surveys. Yet somehow I can't help but think that it does in fact express a few valid points. On one hand it states that you can have the perfect relationship, but on the other hand it says that your relationships won't last. Am I the only one who is confused?
-Chise
It's called "Dateable: Are you? Are they?".
I've decided to post a few little bits of what I've read in just browsing through the book. Ready?
Chapter one: It will not last.
25- ________ = __________
Your age Years left
_____________________ X __________ = ______________________
number of crushes Years left number of crushes 'til
in the last 12 months you find the one
-------------------------------
Tips for guys:
* "My first suggestion to you guys is to tell the truth: "i'm so glad we are together right now." Problem is, what will a girl believe you mean? "He knows we're meant to be together. He feels the same way I do. He's the one.""
* "So what about the brutal truth? "I'm glad we are dating now because this will make me a better man for my future wife." That's the truth, but what happens when you say it? Smack! It just doesn't fly."
* "Here's the problem: No matter what you guys say, girls tend to attach strings. So guys, I can't help you than to say be careful with your words. Tell them honestly how you feel, and don't exaggerate."
You need to understand this fellas, because we are the ones who make the problem worse. It's like this. A girl starts liking us, and then we start telling her what she wants to hear:
~"You are the most wonderful girl I've ever met."
~"I feel so different when i'm with you."
~"I've never met anyone like you."
~"I want to be with you forever."
Which stage are you in?
Stage A. In a relationship.
You are working hard to keep the love alive. Beware--you are in danger of compromising and selling ou to try to make something last that never has a chance.
Stage 2. Trying to get a relationship.
Work, Work, Work. You are spending way too much time trying to get noticed. Dress, talk, party invites, anything to become a crush magnet. Spending all your energy trying to get someone who will eventually leave you.
Stage TT. Wanting a relationship.
Wake up! You daydream abou thte fairytale relationship. You trhink about how wonderful it would be if only you had one. You are living in a fantasy world instead of experiencing the excitement of real life.
Will Your Crush Last?
1. You have been dating ____ Months.
2. On a scale of one to ten (with ten being the highest), your love is a _______ .
3. You plan on getting married at the end of highschool. ___yes ___no
4. You have said "I love you" ___yes ___no
5. You are sure God told you that your crush is the one. ____yes ____no
6. You are going to only be friends until you are old enough to marry. ____yes ____no
7. You can't live without each other. ____yes ____no
8. You have gone to which base? 1st, 2.nd, 3rd, 4th (home)
[Scoring your answers::add all the numbers as follows]
1. Number of months: _____
2. Love rating: _____
3. Yes= 2 points; No=1 point _____
4. Yes= 2 points; No=1 point; Both of you have said it= 3 points _____
5. No= 2 points; Yes= 1 point _____
6. No= 2 points; Yes= 1 point _____
7. Yes= 2 points; No= 1 point _____
8. Number of bases you have gone to: _____
Total: ______
20+ : Stop Drop and roll! Your relationship is on fire, and not in a good way. You are on a crash course with tears and pain. I know you don't think so, but believe me, it's true. If you aren't old enough to get a job, pay your own bills, and make a home, then slow the boat down. You're wasting your energy playing house. Reas on. This book is for you.
15-19: Here's the deal. You are doing a good job--Kinda. But it looks like you are a little too loopy for each other. Slow down! it's not a race. And how fast it starts is how fast it will end. Take time to be friends. It won't kill the relationship if it's what God wants.
7-14 Wow! Your romance might just have a chance-a chance somewher ein the distant future. It looks like you are saving yourself for marriage. Good decision. Hang out. Be friends and wait 'til you are closer to the whole marriage thing before you start dumping everything into a relationship.
------------------------------------------
Quiz Time Again!!: Heartbreak Hotel
1. My BF(GF) and I:
a. talk on the phone a few times a week.
b. talk on the phone at least an hour a day.
c. have too much to do to be on the phone all the time.
2. When it comes to spending money:
a. the sky's the limit for my baby; I spend, spend, spend.
b. I like to buy a lot of little stuff for my sweetie; it makes him (her) feel like I am always thinking about him (her).
c. spend?! I'm a student. How can I spend money on someone? I'm broke!
3. Our physical life:
a. it's amazing-we are exporing all the possibilities of love.
b. we fool around a little, but we are saving intercourse for our wedding night.
c. purity it is, baby! we don't fool around with fooling around. we are too young to be making babies.
4. This is how well I know my love:
a. we try to shar the really important stuff with each other so we can get closer.
b. we tell each other everything! if we are meant to be together, we can't have any secrets.
c. there are still a lot of things we don't know about each other and that's okay.
5. When people talk about us, they probably say:
a. those two are perfect for each other; it's like they are already married.
b. they are both really good kids with great futures.
c. they make a cute couple. i hope they'll be together for a long time.
6. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, we are:
a. madly,100%, forever in love.
b. reall crazy over each other.
c. living life one day at a time.
7. On a scale of one to ten (ten being the highest), I would say that this relationship is a:
a. 5.
b. 11.
c. 10.
[Scoring-Add up your answers accordingly]
1. A=2; B=3; C=1 _____
2. A=3; B=2; C=1 _____
3. A=3; B=2; C=1 _____
4. A=2; B=3; C=1 _____
5. A=3; B=1; C=2 _____
6. A=3; B=2; C=1 _____
7. A=1; B=3; C=2 _____
17-21: Heartbreak hotel. You've just checked in. You are spending way too much of yourself on this crush that won't last. Sorry, I know you think it will, but statistics show that it won't. Now that ou've put so much in, expect the pain to immense when you break up. The breakup will be as powerful as the love is right now, so take cover. You're in for heartache.
12-16: Beware. You are treading on thin ice. You aren't in danger just yet, but it could be around the corncer. Don't lose the mystery. Everyone loves a chase, so slow down and let the friendship grow. Don't give too much or the pain of the breakup will kill.
7-11: Well done. You have a good head on your shoulders. It's gonna hurt when you break up, but you will recover quickly. Keep on having fun and getting to know each other, but no playing house. You guys are keeping it real.
------------------------------------------
If you want to be the one that got away:
~ Girls, shut up and be mysterious.
~ Be adventurous.
~ Be creative.
~ Be a carefree spirit.
~ Laugh.
~ Be positive.
~ Ask questions.
------------------------------------------
If I will do it for you, I will do it to you.
☼People who lie are liars.
---If I will lie for you, I will lie to you.
---If I will cheat for you, I will cheat on you.
---If I will be mad at someone for you, I will be mad at you for someone else.
---If I will do it for you, I will do it to you.
------------------------------------------
Guys love to win.
They know how to feed you all kinds of lines. Sure, your guy doesn't use them. He tells you what he really feels. He meants it. He even meants it when he says:
~ "I have never been with anyone like you before."
~ "I can't even make myself think about another girl."
~ "You are my dream come true."
~ "I feel like I have known you forever."
~ "I want to feel you close. Skin-On-Skin."
~ "We are going to be together forever. It's like we are already married."
~ "You make me feel so good. I want to make you feel that good."
~ "I feel so close to you when we make love."
~ "It's not sex baby, it's making love."
~ "We won't go all the way so it's okay."
~ "I was doubting our relationship, but now I know we were meant to be together."
~ "God brought us together."
~ "I have never told anyone else this..."
~ "I love you."
Guys use the emotional to get the physical. === Girls use the physical to get the emotional.
------------------------------------------
Lies Girls Believe:
I am different.
I am more important to him.
They didn't know how to treat him.
I love him more than they did.
I am better than his last girlfriend.
I will change him.
I am the best he's ever had.
He's thikning about me.
They weren't as nice as me.
They weren't as cute as me.
He'll be nicer to me.
He is sweeter to me than he was to the others.
I know him better than they did.
He has the power to be better because I love him so much.
It'd okay for me to call him.
It's not his fault.
------------------------------------------
Girl Quiz: The Crush -O- Meter
Answer True Or False
1. Honesty means telling him everything about yourself.
2. You think the faster her knows all about you, the faster he will like you.
3. You like to ask him alot of questions.
4. It's Thursday and he's asking you out for friday. You're free, so you say yes.
5. You has a great first date, so you call him the next day.
6. Your crush is totally shy, so you make the first move and ask him out.
7. He asks you what you're doing this weekend and you say "nothing."
8. You are served something you are allergic to, so you talk about your health for the next 10 minutes.
9. At the end of the date there are still so many things you want him to know about you.
10.You don't respond every time he IMs you.
11.You are every guy's best friend.
[Scoring=add up your answers as follows]
1. T=1, F=2
2. T=1, F=2
3. T=2, F=1
4. T=1, F=2
5. T=1, F=2
6. T=1, F=2
7. T=1, F=2
8. T=1, F=2
9. T=2, F=1
10.T=2, F=1
11.T=1, F=2
11-14: Dateless. The myster is gone. You're probably told him everything about you, so why would he want to see you again? But it's not too late. Start talking less and listening more. Let him bring up things to talk about. Ask him questions about himself. Stop talking about yourself so much. You have plenty of time for him to get to know you. Practice thikning about him and taking your eyes off yourself.
15-18: Hit-and-miss mysterious. Cool. You're left some mystery for him to discover about you. You still might need to back off from being the one who starts things all the time, though. Let him handle the chase part of the relationship. He's a guy, let him act like one. You know what you need to do. Helf of the time you do it. Try to act more mysterious more often. He'll love it.
19-22: Congrats! You're a wanted woman. You don't tell people everythin in the world about yourself. You know they can't take it all in at once, so you only give them a little peek at a time. Guys are dying to find out more about you. That's what keps 'em coming back for more. Your phone's probably ringing off the hook. Keep 'em guessing.
------------------------------------------
Thoughts? Comments?
More to come. Mebbe.
According to this book, i fail at life...and love? O.o I feel like this book is the equivilant of those cheesey myspace//LJ quizzes and surveys. Yet somehow I can't help but think that it does in fact express a few valid points. On one hand it states that you can have the perfect relationship, but on the other hand it says that your relationships won't last. Am I the only one who is confused?
-Chise