[Fanfic] Working on the premises of duality - Part 2
Title: [BloHyuk Fanfic] Working on the premises of duality (Part 2)
Author: chiyo_87
Pairing: Blohyuk (Tablo x Eunhyuk), minor!Eunhae
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Slice of Life, Philosophical, Romance
Warning: Unbeta-ed, Verbose
A/N: Blohyuk for sujuhigh
-------
“Who can tell?"
The man continues running his nimble fingers on the smooth, ivory keys. Hyukjae takes the silence as a cue for him to continue. He wonders if the other is even listening at all.
“My life’s is a living hell; the mansion of my mind’s just an oversized cell.”
The man enters into a new staff signature, turning the piece from major to minor, coolly emanating this subtle eerie feel. While it seems to instill trepidation, it is strangely calming. Still, he shows no reaction.
“The pressure, everything is done to a measure in this sea of competition. I’m . . . sunk like a treasure.”
“For me . . .” the man speaks all of a sudden, eyes still closed, fingers still working their magic, “it’s a pearl, no, a jewel in a clam.”
The younger one turns to look at him.
The man adds on. “It’s a jewel. An unpolished jewel; it is yet to be embellished, to be carved into perfection. It’s still hiding within the walls of its shell, unable to break free.” The man finally stops and turns towards Hyukjae. “No, it’s afraid to break free. Or perhaps, it doesn’t know what freedom is.”
The boy, surprise evident on his face, doesn’t hesitate to inquire. “What do you mean?”
The man doesn’t answer
.
---
Working on the premises of duality
(Part 2)
November 1995.
Outside, the snow continues to fall. The frosty wind blows over the trees, swishing them from side to side, tapping against the window panes, making the sounds of gossiping lips. For the trees know it all, the events that will unfold before us; for they will see it all. And they watch with intense curiosity.
Sauntering precariously, he ventures into uncharted waters. Placing a hand on his chest, he attempts to quell the heart that had strangely begun to beat faster. Ahead, a door lay, ajar and creaking against the wind, as if beckoning him to enter. He grabs the knob and pushes open the door, letting the dim light from outside creep in, making the shadows scurry away to take refuge in the darker corners of the room. As if trespassing, the wary interloper presses on with caution.
The room was empty and stark white, as if he were walking in a field of snow. The room had the impersonal, disconnected feel of a waiting room on Jupiter. Immediately, he was washed with a feeling of aching nostalgia. He stood there, looked around the room that he did not see as rooms but more as a landscape for his emotions. Before him, he instantly notices, lay the only item in the room that seemed to appear only to those who acknowledged its existence - a table. And on it was a writer’s paraphernalia. Curious, he goes closer to inspect. On the table, sits a tattered notebook that seems to be well taken care of. It bore no name. The only item beside it was a pen that appears to be almost out of ink.
Picking up the book, he feels a queer sense of longing and urgency, as if opening the notebook became a priority that simply cannot be postponed any further.
You got so much to prove
Hoping they approve
The only thing that's true is all you ever do is do
You're moving shoe to shoe but you're not going
His grip hardened. How strange that those words so accurately described his emotions. He flipped the page and read the next words.
Place your thoughts on a sheet of paper.
It can become a plane. It can become a crane.
At the bottom edge of the page, seemingly obscured by cancellations and scribbles, a word struck out conspicuously.
“Blonote?” Hyukjae said aloud. Whatever could that mean? He ponders. The more he pondered, the more he thought of it. But the more he thought of it, the harder it seemed for him to comprehend it.
---------
Did you know that if you actually opened your ears to listen properly, everything has a sound? The water, the air, the wind, and even the snow; everything has its own unique sound. If you blocked out all common man-induced sounds and noises, you would hear the sound of snow that resonates with your inner soul. It glides over you in a lazy, rhythmic motion, wrapping you with its warm shawl. The sound is emanates is soft, gentle and somewhat lonely, akin to a wistful sonata. Ah, there it is again. Can you hear it? It is the sound of comfort and loneliness. It is the sound I yearn for every single day.
“Hyuk, there you go again, placing first on the midterm exams. Yet you daydream in class and always look so detached from the world. How do you do it?”
The said person shrugged. “But it’s scary when you’re on the top, Hae.”
“Huh?” Donghae asked, raising a dubious eyebrow.
The only thing that's true is all you ever do is do
You're moving shoe to shoe but you're not going
Two particular sentences he had read from the notebook that day suddenly flashed across his mind. Hyukjae exhaled deeply.
“It’s scary that when you’re on the top, you have nowhere else to go. I move, walk forward, run, step backward, stand still and yet, I’m still in the same place.”
Donghae brings his hand up to rub his nape. “Dude, you’re not making any sense.”
“You stop growing, the moment that you stay at the top, the only way is to drop, freefalling down the stairs that you climbed up. But you dare not air drop, hiking down without a chance of stepping on a fair rock. And so, you stand still in a stand-still. Being on top is the only thing I can do right now.”
“Man, chill. You almost sound depressed. You should be happy that you’re always on the top. Everyone envies you, especially when you can do it so easily.”
Hyukjae turns away and looks out the window, sees the snowflakes falling again. Should I really be happy? Should I be feeling a sense of achievement? No, those people do not envy me. From behind, they hold up their swords and spears, waiting eagerly for an opening, for the moment I let my guard down, then strike me in a pre-emptive attack. This is what being on top feels like - constantly feeling the subtle hostilities from those wanting your position; being invincible and vulnerable at the same time. Outside, the snow falls against a drab landscape, like a black and white photograph. Raising his eyebrows, his eyes flickered animatedly in recognition. “A black and white photograph, huh?” Come to think of it, doesn’t the world inside a black and white photograph seem more real?
“Because the real world is losing its real colour,” Hyukjae says aloud.
“Huh?” Donghae turns around, “Man, you’re saying things again. C’mon, let’s go home together for once.”
Donghae grabs his arm and yanks him from the chair, dragging him away without giving him a chance to decline. Hyukjae sighs and lets himself be dragged away.
------
On the third floor, in a particular room you could easily recognize, a man stood before the lone table. Looking at the clean spot where the notebook once laid, he realizes that it had been moved from its original location. Picking up the book, he flipped the pages swiftly.
“Someone’s been here.”
To be continued | Part One
-------------
A/N: For you, sujuhigh ♥
Quote credits: Tablo; Anne Spollen
Lyrics used: Epik High - Over