The Epic TwiReview [SPOILERS!]
The TwiReview :D
I finally did it.
:D
Can I just say that I TOTALLY did not have good expectations for this movie? I was expecting an epic fail. What I got was...a mediocre movie that pwnd in some ways and failed drastically in others. You see, Twilight, book or movie, has always been like eating chocolate cake. Delicious, alluring and fantastic the first time. But really it's filled with nothing but carbs and fat. Very tasty carbs and fat, sure but all the same...crap that doesn't exactly change your life. When I read a book, I expect it to enlighten me, I expect to learn something;
Things I learned from the TwiSeries so far:
1. Apparently if you're cute and clumsy, the hot guys will protect you. Know what I'm saying? *winks* Let's all trip ladies and see where that gets you.
2. If you get pregnant, have a baby and marry a guy, you're set for life. *quits school* There's a good lesson to teach young readers!
Sorry...I always get pissed off when I rant about Twilight. Now the MOVIE, yes! Well, the movie was better than the book in some ways(*hides from angry twilight fans*), but it was also worse than the book in other ways(Yes, people, something is actually WORSE than those books).
You see, the Twilght movie creates inert paradoxes in people that they themselves are unaware off. It creates turmoil in your head that could explain any recent headaches. The movie starts off with Bella with the epilouge. Of course the scene is meant to be chilling but is sadly a lesser version of what we saw in the original teaser with Bella's voice narrating for us: Something about death and love? Yes, it catches my attentio and I aplaud their perscision with the book at this but this wasn't that amazing. But for the average Twifan...good enough. Then the movie continues onto Bella saying goodbye to her mother who is obviousley one of those people that need to be taken care of(Bella's genes had to come from somewhere kiddos). And even Phil gets his bit in this movie with his good-humored joke that of course is a "you had to be there" kind of funny. Then Bella arrives, with Cactus in hand(make no mistake she's from Phoenix people. Because people of Phoenix are casually accustomed to carrying cactuses from where they go. It's a very cultural thing yos? I'll remember to buy a cactus next time) to her new house. The akward scene between Charlie and Bella in the car was in its perfection, I have to say. It wasn't forced on us to swallow and choke on. It was an akwardness that was perfectly done. So is the scene with her in her room. Again, this is not forced on the viewers but it shows, subtly, that Bella does not like this place and is a reserved person. And Charlie isn't exactly Mr. Emotion.
The movie continues when Jacob and Billy black wheel on over to their house. Billy Black did his job well. The exchanges between them was realistic(the last of it) and very well done. Jacob and Bella's exchange was also very well scripted. However, it was very evident to the viewer that Mr. Jacob wasn't your normal random-background-I'll-see-you-around sorta guy: They made it very evident that he would be important later on in the story *winks heartily*
Then comes Bella's day to school. Angela, Jessica, Mike and Eric were all introduced very well. While Eric was a bit overly dramatic, I think the others nailed their characters. Then comes the Cullens scene. As all Twireaders know, this is an important scene that should've been taken carefully. However, the results the movie shot at us wasn't very reassuring. The Cullens walk out some random, conveniently placed cafeteria back door as though they have just won some football game and thus decided to partake in a slowed down walk. Emmett and Rosalie were easily forgettable. I think if youd've blinked, they would've dissapeared. Alice could've been carrying a cardboard cut out version of Jasper in her arm for all we knew. Yes, Jasper is supposed to have trouble with restraining but I don't remember reading that he was frozen with a permanent "OH MY FUCKING GOD" expression on his face. Maybe Meyer forgot to mention? And then Edward. While Rob acted very well in this scene, it didn't seen natural. Bella and him didn't make much connection. There wasn't any significant confusion on his face. And they stared at each other for a while. I was sure Bella is one of those "look-away-as-quickly-as-possible" people. So to me, it did not work well when she continued to stare at him head on all through the cafeteria scene.
Then, the famous Biology scene. Although the humor in this scene was AMAZING, not all of it was intended. Stewart demonstrated her acting skills rather well in this but Robert, however, looked like he was trying to lay a ginormous egg right then and there. His eyes looked more zoned out than anything. I didn't see any anger, control, shaking and that hard, bitterness he had in the book. Robert looked like he had to pee. And I was unaware vampires could do so....but he did bolt out the door as soon as possible. And then comes the scene where Bella walks into the office room and sees Edward conversing with the lady to switch his class. This scene, of course, was very well done. I found myself getting into the movie rather well.
This movie moves very fast. However, what it is missing here is Bella's curiosity. There is barely ANY of it. There is no feeling of anxiety, no trace of the beginning of her obsessive love toward Edward Cullen. There is also missing his "velvety voice", or "graceful walk" or "dazzling smile". And his "marble body" was more like white powder had exploded his face. While Stewart and Pattinson did their best with the somewhat lame, roundabout script they received, it didn't work as well as fans expected.
Then the car scene that I think I saw from every angle possible BEFORE the movie came out. Meh. It was expected. I think it was perfect actually. The surprise on Stewart's face as well as the perfect combonation of the "Oh-shit!" and the "She's-on-to-me!" look on Rob's face was done PERFECTLY. I don't think that scene needed any adjustments. However, what follows, after some ha-ha's from Charlie's threats to "end" Tyler's life driving, was very lame. The "argument" between Edward and Bella was very weakly done. The script was very weak and there was barely any tension presented. Then of course is the fieldtrip. This scene, I feel, was just there for some lame sum-up of all the arguments Edward and Bella are supposed to have and also for comic relied. Yes, I did laugh at the "You should google it".
The Port Angeles Scene: The handheld camera technique worked VERY WELL may I say with this scene. It was also another good scene. But the restaurant...not so much. There were no burning questions. No interrogations *cough*CHAPTER NAME*cough* No undenied love shown. Yes, the whole radio-hand-touching thing was a glimmer at it but it wasn't good enough. And then suddenly shes in love with this dude? The movie was rather rushed in my opinion.
Ahhh...the meadow scene. I HATED IT. Considering its one of the most important....it was HORRIBLE. It included, in short, a whole bunch of staring between Edward/Bella, some poor attempts for us t fall madly in love with them as a couple, and some anticlimax dialouge that did not fit their expressions or the pacing of the movie well at all. Plus they had more zooms and angles than a beginning movie editor would put in their first vdeo. GOD. it was horrid. Every 2 seconds, they changed the angle. It did not produce suspense but rather irritation. And the graphics were very obviousley low-budget. The flying needs to be rid of. It was painful to look at. It looked fake, kiddos. And the Edward in the sun was not beautiful but merely resembled a very sweaty edward. I didn't like it at all.
But the Silver Volvo is waiting and Bella steps out with Mr.Glimmer-in-the-sun to complete Edward's trip to hell more thoroughly. But you have to admit, their chemistry+Rob in sunglasses was like pretty awesome :D
When Edward takes Bella to his house...too much. They cook for her? Italian? The Cullens aren't idiots here...And the whole Rosalie getting all miffed and breaking something was also overdone. And then the Edward and Bella scene in the room: *sighs* They are outstanding actors but once again the script, and the cheesy fly effects manages to ruin their fantastic body language, and their dialouge delivery.
And once again, Jasper is a frickin wooden board. I swear, I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out Jasper was a mannequin and not a real actor.
The Baseball scene: Was pretty much fantastical. VERRRY cool. A little Muse+vampire baseball = kick ass-amazingness. But of course this couldn't last long with the evil vampires on their way. And James with his bling-bling, Victoria in her vamped(no pun intended) ultra-coolness and Laurent all chilling, these were like the worst villans EVER. Plus the confrontation between the Cullens and the "evil?" villans was interrupted by seeing eye. No Joke. I saw eyes for that scene. It was a bad choice to do all that eye contace. It didn't work well at all. So this "chase" is supposed to be all tense but we already know from the millions of trailers that James obviousley gets to Bella and Edward saves her but let's pretend we don't.
The argument between Bella and Charlie was a little akward but it was pure brilliance :) I really did feel bad for Charlie....GOD, what did he do to deserve that ho for a daugher??
Then Edward tells her "nothing will happen to you" or some shiz along those lines. And we totally already know this but we watch it anyway because we like friggin spent 9 bucks for this movie + mah food and we're hoping its worth it. So there comes the suspenseful chase which really wasn't suspenseful at all, actually quite boring and poorly done. And then the Alice having a vision...it was okay. But Bella walking off to her death like all casually was too much for me. Alice and Jasper had no role in this so far but they couldn't even partake in protecting that piece of asscrack AKA Bella from her OWN death? What a rip-off!
So Bella like walks into this Ballet Studio and figures out she's a dipshit(which I have been shouting form Day 1 people) and basically realizes shes screwed over. And of course the evil bad guy with his bling bling and porno camera comes out.
Okay, so I was expecting the fight scene to be cheesy. And...it wasn't....not completely anyways. The James and Bella struggle was very authentic and looked amazing. KStew is no doubt a very good actress. Then the whole Edward-to-the-rescue scene, however, was kind of stereotypical and meh. And Edward and James hissing at each other just made me laugh more. But of couse the Cullen family is all excited when they find out they're going to actually get a role in this "movie" and come out in their blaze of vampireness. I mean, you might as well cue the song "Everybody was kung-fu fighting...." It would've made perfect sense with the way they entered. But I had to admit, the Edward sucking the venom was PERFECT. The screaming on KStew's part and the acting from RPatzz was truly phenominal. I was very into the movie at this point. I mean I even managed to ignore my popcorn for a second :P
Then comes the hosiptal scene. This was...okay. There is nothing amazing to say about it. And then the Prom scene which to me was perfect and the way it should've been in the book :)
However, the movie said its goodbye not with the perfect E/B scene at prom it should've ended on but with some hardcore, people-actually-listen-to-this-shiz music as Victoria watches them dance, letting viewers know that there will be a second movie. This was completely unnecessary, comical, stupid and unlogical but whatever...
Things I forgot to mention
1. I hate Bella's character in the books. I DESPISE HER. But...in the movie I actually kind of liked her. But maybe because she was nothing like her book twin? It's hard to say if that's a good thing or a bad thing but I think Bella should've had more depth in the movie.
2. The whole "diner" thing was a huge mistake....It wans't Bella's character at all and was so stupid. They should've just had her cook with her miserable self.
3. The little scenes where James, Victoria and Laurent kill those random people wasn't dramatic, suspenseful or frightening. It was very stupidly and unnecessarily done and had a very weak impact.
4. Am I the ONLY ONE who noticed Stephenie Meyer in the diner scene????
5. The flashbacks in sepia. They looked FAKE. FAKE. Unauthenic. I could've made em on Vegas. Just FAKE. And unnecessary.
6. Bella waking up to find Edward. Haha...it was okay but the scene before and after it was kinda different making this particualr scene look random and LOL-worthy.
7. THE KISS: Yes, the granny panties have perished but to tell you the truth, the kiss was pretty good. It was subtle at first and I liked it but then of course it's like BANG, and Bella tries to jump him and Eduardo's all excited and it turns into a makeout before he like blows backward to stop the kiss....it was haha kinda weird.
8. The transitions:I liked them showing E/B talking. It was nice.
9. La Push: I liked La Push. But Bella didn't look like she was flirting and the other dude that says "The cullens don't come here" needed some more acting lessons. But I liked the Jacob/Bella convo. It wasn't VERY informative and blunt as it was supposed to be but meh, life's life.
Keep in mind that this is MY opinion.
I finally did it.
:D
Can I just say that I TOTALLY did not have good expectations for this movie? I was expecting an epic fail. What I got was...a mediocre movie that pwnd in some ways and failed drastically in others. You see, Twilight, book or movie, has always been like eating chocolate cake. Delicious, alluring and fantastic the first time. But really it's filled with nothing but carbs and fat. Very tasty carbs and fat, sure but all the same...crap that doesn't exactly change your life. When I read a book, I expect it to enlighten me, I expect to learn something;
Things I learned from the TwiSeries so far:
1. Apparently if you're cute and clumsy, the hot guys will protect you. Know what I'm saying? *winks* Let's all trip ladies and see where that gets you.
2. If you get pregnant, have a baby and marry a guy, you're set for life. *quits school* There's a good lesson to teach young readers!
Sorry...I always get pissed off when I rant about Twilight. Now the MOVIE, yes! Well, the movie was better than the book in some ways(*hides from angry twilight fans*), but it was also worse than the book in other ways(Yes, people, something is actually WORSE than those books).
You see, the Twilght movie creates inert paradoxes in people that they themselves are unaware off. It creates turmoil in your head that could explain any recent headaches. The movie starts off with Bella with the epilouge. Of course the scene is meant to be chilling but is sadly a lesser version of what we saw in the original teaser with Bella's voice narrating for us: Something about death and love? Yes, it catches my attentio and I aplaud their perscision with the book at this but this wasn't that amazing. But for the average Twifan...good enough. Then the movie continues onto Bella saying goodbye to her mother who is obviousley one of those people that need to be taken care of(Bella's genes had to come from somewhere kiddos). And even Phil gets his bit in this movie with his good-humored joke that of course is a "you had to be there" kind of funny. Then Bella arrives, with Cactus in hand(make no mistake she's from Phoenix people. Because people of Phoenix are casually accustomed to carrying cactuses from where they go. It's a very cultural thing yos? I'll remember to buy a cactus next time) to her new house. The akward scene between Charlie and Bella in the car was in its perfection, I have to say. It wasn't forced on us to swallow and choke on. It was an akwardness that was perfectly done. So is the scene with her in her room. Again, this is not forced on the viewers but it shows, subtly, that Bella does not like this place and is a reserved person. And Charlie isn't exactly Mr. Emotion.
The movie continues when Jacob and Billy black wheel on over to their house. Billy Black did his job well. The exchanges between them was realistic(the last of it) and very well done. Jacob and Bella's exchange was also very well scripted. However, it was very evident to the viewer that Mr. Jacob wasn't your normal random-background-I'll-see-you-around sorta guy: They made it very evident that he would be important later on in the story *winks heartily*
Then comes Bella's day to school. Angela, Jessica, Mike and Eric were all introduced very well. While Eric was a bit overly dramatic, I think the others nailed their characters. Then comes the Cullens scene. As all Twireaders know, this is an important scene that should've been taken carefully. However, the results the movie shot at us wasn't very reassuring. The Cullens walk out some random, conveniently placed cafeteria back door as though they have just won some football game and thus decided to partake in a slowed down walk. Emmett and Rosalie were easily forgettable. I think if youd've blinked, they would've dissapeared. Alice could've been carrying a cardboard cut out version of Jasper in her arm for all we knew. Yes, Jasper is supposed to have trouble with restraining but I don't remember reading that he was frozen with a permanent "OH MY FUCKING GOD" expression on his face. Maybe Meyer forgot to mention? And then Edward. While Rob acted very well in this scene, it didn't seen natural. Bella and him didn't make much connection. There wasn't any significant confusion on his face. And they stared at each other for a while. I was sure Bella is one of those "look-away-as-quickly-as-possible" people. So to me, it did not work well when she continued to stare at him head on all through the cafeteria scene.
Then, the famous Biology scene. Although the humor in this scene was AMAZING, not all of it was intended. Stewart demonstrated her acting skills rather well in this but Robert, however, looked like he was trying to lay a ginormous egg right then and there. His eyes looked more zoned out than anything. I didn't see any anger, control, shaking and that hard, bitterness he had in the book. Robert looked like he had to pee. And I was unaware vampires could do so....but he did bolt out the door as soon as possible. And then comes the scene where Bella walks into the office room and sees Edward conversing with the lady to switch his class. This scene, of course, was very well done. I found myself getting into the movie rather well.
This movie moves very fast. However, what it is missing here is Bella's curiosity. There is barely ANY of it. There is no feeling of anxiety, no trace of the beginning of her obsessive love toward Edward Cullen. There is also missing his "velvety voice", or "graceful walk" or "dazzling smile". And his "marble body" was more like white powder had exploded his face. While Stewart and Pattinson did their best with the somewhat lame, roundabout script they received, it didn't work as well as fans expected.
Then the car scene that I think I saw from every angle possible BEFORE the movie came out. Meh. It was expected. I think it was perfect actually. The surprise on Stewart's face as well as the perfect combonation of the "Oh-shit!" and the "She's-on-to-me!" look on Rob's face was done PERFECTLY. I don't think that scene needed any adjustments. However, what follows, after some ha-ha's from Charlie's threats to "end" Tyler's life driving, was very lame. The "argument" between Edward and Bella was very weakly done. The script was very weak and there was barely any tension presented. Then of course is the fieldtrip. This scene, I feel, was just there for some lame sum-up of all the arguments Edward and Bella are supposed to have and also for comic relied. Yes, I did laugh at the "You should google it".
The Port Angeles Scene: The handheld camera technique worked VERY WELL may I say with this scene. It was also another good scene. But the restaurant...not so much. There were no burning questions. No interrogations *cough*CHAPTER NAME*cough* No undenied love shown. Yes, the whole radio-hand-touching thing was a glimmer at it but it wasn't good enough. And then suddenly shes in love with this dude? The movie was rather rushed in my opinion.
Ahhh...the meadow scene. I HATED IT. Considering its one of the most important....it was HORRIBLE. It included, in short, a whole bunch of staring between Edward/Bella, some poor attempts for us t fall madly in love with them as a couple, and some anticlimax dialouge that did not fit their expressions or the pacing of the movie well at all. Plus they had more zooms and angles than a beginning movie editor would put in their first vdeo. GOD. it was horrid. Every 2 seconds, they changed the angle. It did not produce suspense but rather irritation. And the graphics were very obviousley low-budget. The flying needs to be rid of. It was painful to look at. It looked fake, kiddos. And the Edward in the sun was not beautiful but merely resembled a very sweaty edward. I didn't like it at all.
But the Silver Volvo is waiting and Bella steps out with Mr.Glimmer-in-the-sun to complete Edward's trip to hell more thoroughly. But you have to admit, their chemistry+Rob in sunglasses was like pretty awesome :D
When Edward takes Bella to his house...too much. They cook for her? Italian? The Cullens aren't idiots here...And the whole Rosalie getting all miffed and breaking something was also overdone. And then the Edward and Bella scene in the room: *sighs* They are outstanding actors but once again the script, and the cheesy fly effects manages to ruin their fantastic body language, and their dialouge delivery.
And once again, Jasper is a frickin wooden board. I swear, I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out Jasper was a mannequin and not a real actor.
The Baseball scene: Was pretty much fantastical. VERRRY cool. A little Muse+vampire baseball = kick ass-amazingness. But of course this couldn't last long with the evil vampires on their way. And James with his bling-bling, Victoria in her vamped(no pun intended) ultra-coolness and Laurent all chilling, these were like the worst villans EVER. Plus the confrontation between the Cullens and the "evil?" villans was interrupted by seeing eye. No Joke. I saw eyes for that scene. It was a bad choice to do all that eye contace. It didn't work well at all. So this "chase" is supposed to be all tense but we already know from the millions of trailers that James obviousley gets to Bella and Edward saves her but let's pretend we don't.
The argument between Bella and Charlie was a little akward but it was pure brilliance :) I really did feel bad for Charlie....GOD, what did he do to deserve that ho for a daugher??
Then Edward tells her "nothing will happen to you" or some shiz along those lines. And we totally already know this but we watch it anyway because we like friggin spent 9 bucks for this movie + mah food and we're hoping its worth it. So there comes the suspenseful chase which really wasn't suspenseful at all, actually quite boring and poorly done. And then the Alice having a vision...it was okay. But Bella walking off to her death like all casually was too much for me. Alice and Jasper had no role in this so far but they couldn't even partake in protecting that piece of asscrack AKA Bella from her OWN death? What a rip-off!
So Bella like walks into this Ballet Studio and figures out she's a dipshit(which I have been shouting form Day 1 people) and basically realizes shes screwed over. And of course the evil bad guy with his bling bling and porno camera comes out.
Okay, so I was expecting the fight scene to be cheesy. And...it wasn't....not completely anyways. The James and Bella struggle was very authentic and looked amazing. KStew is no doubt a very good actress. Then the whole Edward-to-the-rescue scene, however, was kind of stereotypical and meh. And Edward and James hissing at each other just made me laugh more. But of couse the Cullen family is all excited when they find out they're going to actually get a role in this "movie" and come out in their blaze of vampireness. I mean, you might as well cue the song "Everybody was kung-fu fighting...." It would've made perfect sense with the way they entered. But I had to admit, the Edward sucking the venom was PERFECT. The screaming on KStew's part and the acting from RPatzz was truly phenominal. I was very into the movie at this point. I mean I even managed to ignore my popcorn for a second :P
Then comes the hosiptal scene. This was...okay. There is nothing amazing to say about it. And then the Prom scene which to me was perfect and the way it should've been in the book :)
However, the movie said its goodbye not with the perfect E/B scene at prom it should've ended on but with some hardcore, people-actually-listen-to-this-shiz music as Victoria watches them dance, letting viewers know that there will be a second movie. This was completely unnecessary, comical, stupid and unlogical but whatever...
Things I forgot to mention
1. I hate Bella's character in the books. I DESPISE HER. But...in the movie I actually kind of liked her. But maybe because she was nothing like her book twin? It's hard to say if that's a good thing or a bad thing but I think Bella should've had more depth in the movie.
2. The whole "diner" thing was a huge mistake....It wans't Bella's character at all and was so stupid. They should've just had her cook with her miserable self.
3. The little scenes where James, Victoria and Laurent kill those random people wasn't dramatic, suspenseful or frightening. It was very stupidly and unnecessarily done and had a very weak impact.
4. Am I the ONLY ONE who noticed Stephenie Meyer in the diner scene????
5. The flashbacks in sepia. They looked FAKE. FAKE. Unauthenic. I could've made em on Vegas. Just FAKE. And unnecessary.
6. Bella waking up to find Edward. Haha...it was okay but the scene before and after it was kinda different making this particualr scene look random and LOL-worthy.
7. THE KISS: Yes, the granny panties have perished but to tell you the truth, the kiss was pretty good. It was subtle at first and I liked it but then of course it's like BANG, and Bella tries to jump him and Eduardo's all excited and it turns into a makeout before he like blows backward to stop the kiss....it was haha kinda weird.
8. The transitions:I liked them showing E/B talking. It was nice.
9. La Push: I liked La Push. But Bella didn't look like she was flirting and the other dude that says "The cullens don't come here" needed some more acting lessons. But I liked the Jacob/Bella convo. It wasn't VERY informative and blunt as it was supposed to be but meh, life's life.
Keep in mind that this is MY opinion.