The Merry Adventures of Prince Charming: Part I - Snow White
Once upon a time, as a queen sits sewing at her window, she pricks her finger on her needle and a drop of blood falls on the snow that had fallen on her ebony window frame.
As she looks at the blood on the snow, she says to herself, "Oh, how I wish that I had a daughter that had skin white as snow, lips red as blood, and hair black as ebony". Soon after that, the queen gives birth to a baby girl boy...
...who has skin white as snow...
...lips red as blood...
...and hair black as ebony.
They name him Snow White.
(who, me?)
Soon after, the new king takes a new wife, who is beautiful but very vain.
He possesses a magical mirror that answers any question, to whom he often asks: "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who in the land is fairest of all?" to which the mirror always replies "You, my queen, are fairest of all."
But when Snow White reaches the age of seven, he becomes as beautiful as the day, and when the queen asks his mirror, it responds: "Queen, you are full fair, 'tis true, but Snow White is fairer than you."
The queen becomes jealous, and orders a huntsman to take Snow White into the woods to be killed.
He demands that the huntsman return with Snow White's heart as proof of his killing. The huntsman takes Snow White into the forest, but after raising his knife to stab him, he finds himself unable to kill him. Instead, he lets him go, telling him to flee and hide, and brings the queen the tofu-made heart of a young boar, which is then prepared by the cook and eaten by the queen.
In the forest, Snow White discovers a tiny cottage belonging to seven dwarfs, where he rests.
(well, it's... somewhere in there. they're dwarfs, you see?)
There, the dwarfs take pity on him, saying "If you will keep house for us, and cook, make beds, wash, sew, and knit, and keep everything clean and orderly, then you can stay with us, and you shall have everything that you want."
(this is Snow White's response to that request.)
(Sleepy sighs and continues doing his housework.)
They warn him to take care and let no one in when they are away delving in the mountains. Meanwhile, the Queen asks his mirror once again "Who's the fairest of them all?", and is horrified to learn that Snow White is not only alive and well and living with the dwarfs, but is still the fairest of them all.
Three times the Queen disguises himself and visits the dwarfs' cottage while they are away during the day, trying to kill Snow White. First, disguised as a peddler, the Queen offers some comic books with ink and paper so poisonous that the princess faints when he touches them, causing the Queen to leave him for dead.
Snow White is revived by the dwarfs, however, with some soap. Next, the Queen dresses as a different old man and sells Snow White some poisoned coffee. Snow White again collapses, but again is saved by the dwarfs.
Finally, the Queen makes a poisoned pack of cigarettes, and in the disguise of a farmer's wife, offers it to Snow White. When he is hesitant to accept it, the Queen takes one white cigarette from the pack, smokes it, and gives the poisoned red one to Snow White.
He smokes the cigarette eagerly and immediately falls into a deep stupor. When the dwarfs find him, they cannot revive him, and they place him in a glass coffin, assuming that he is dead.
(look, this is not merely an excuse for me to repost this picture, okay?)
Time passes, and a prince traveling through the land sees Snow White in his coffin.
(Prince Charming Victoria would like you to know she's the raddest prince in all the lands.)
The prince is enchanted by his beauty and instantly falls in love with him. The prince remembers the story about a beautiful princess her friend Frankie The Huntsman used to tell her before she set out on this journey.
She begs the dwarfs to let her have the coffin. When the coffin is brought back to the palace, she calls for Frankie.
(...well, yeah.)
It turns out Frankie The Huntsman is actually the long lost prince of the neighbour kingdom. \o/
(Frankie would like the paparazzi of his kingdom to know Princess Snow White is a-ok now. \o/)
The vain Queen, still believing that Snow White is dead, once again asks his mirror who is the fairest in the land, and yet again the mirror disappoints him by responding that "You, my queen, are fair; it is true. But the young queen is a thousand times fairer than you."
Not knowing that this new queen was indeed his stepson, he arrives at the wedding, and his heart fills with the deepest of dread when he realizes the truth. However, suddenly he catches sight of a beautiful singer at the wedding!
And all of them live happily ever after! \o/
As she looks at the blood on the snow, she says to herself, "Oh, how I wish that I had a daughter that had skin white as snow, lips red as blood, and hair black as ebony". Soon after that, the queen gives birth to a baby girl boy...
...who has skin white as snow...
...lips red as blood...
...and hair black as ebony.
They name him Snow White.
(who, me?)
Soon after, the new king takes a new wife, who is beautiful but very vain.
He possesses a magical mirror that answers any question, to whom he often asks: "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who in the land is fairest of all?" to which the mirror always replies "You, my queen, are fairest of all."
But when Snow White reaches the age of seven, he becomes as beautiful as the day, and when the queen asks his mirror, it responds: "Queen, you are full fair, 'tis true, but Snow White is fairer than you."
The queen becomes jealous, and orders a huntsman to take Snow White into the woods to be killed.
He demands that the huntsman return with Snow White's heart as proof of his killing. The huntsman takes Snow White into the forest, but after raising his knife to stab him, he finds himself unable to kill him. Instead, he lets him go, telling him to flee and hide, and brings the queen the tofu-made heart of a young boar, which is then prepared by the cook and eaten by the queen.
In the forest, Snow White discovers a tiny cottage belonging to seven dwarfs, where he rests.
(well, it's... somewhere in there. they're dwarfs, you see?)
There, the dwarfs take pity on him, saying "If you will keep house for us, and cook, make beds, wash, sew, and knit, and keep everything clean and orderly, then you can stay with us, and you shall have everything that you want."
(this is Snow White's response to that request.)
(Sleepy sighs and continues doing his housework.)
They warn him to take care and let no one in when they are away delving in the mountains. Meanwhile, the Queen asks his mirror once again "Who's the fairest of them all?", and is horrified to learn that Snow White is not only alive and well and living with the dwarfs, but is still the fairest of them all.
Three times the Queen disguises himself and visits the dwarfs' cottage while they are away during the day, trying to kill Snow White. First, disguised as a peddler, the Queen offers some comic books with ink and paper so poisonous that the princess faints when he touches them, causing the Queen to leave him for dead.
Snow White is revived by the dwarfs, however, with some soap. Next, the Queen dresses as a different old man and sells Snow White some poisoned coffee. Snow White again collapses, but again is saved by the dwarfs.
Finally, the Queen makes a poisoned pack of cigarettes, and in the disguise of a farmer's wife, offers it to Snow White. When he is hesitant to accept it, the Queen takes one white cigarette from the pack, smokes it, and gives the poisoned red one to Snow White.
He smokes the cigarette eagerly and immediately falls into a deep stupor. When the dwarfs find him, they cannot revive him, and they place him in a glass coffin, assuming that he is dead.
(look, this is not merely an excuse for me to repost this picture, okay?)
Time passes, and a prince traveling through the land sees Snow White in his coffin.
(Prince Charming Victoria would like you to know she's the raddest prince in all the lands.)
The prince is enchanted by his beauty and instantly falls in love with him. The prince remembers the story about a beautiful princess her friend Frankie The Huntsman used to tell her before she set out on this journey.
She begs the dwarfs to let her have the coffin. When the coffin is brought back to the palace, she calls for Frankie.
(...well, yeah.)
It turns out Frankie The Huntsman is actually the long lost prince of the neighbour kingdom. \o/
(Frankie would like the paparazzi of his kingdom to know Princess Snow White is a-ok now. \o/)
The vain Queen, still believing that Snow White is dead, once again asks his mirror who is the fairest in the land, and yet again the mirror disappoints him by responding that "You, my queen, are fair; it is true. But the young queen is a thousand times fairer than you."
Not knowing that this new queen was indeed his stepson, he arrives at the wedding, and his heart fills with the deepest of dread when he realizes the truth. However, suddenly he catches sight of a beautiful singer at the wedding!
And all of them live happily ever after! \o/