[fic] I HATE THAT I LOVE YOU SO
Title: I HATE THAT I LOVE YOU SO
Author: cookiejae
Pairings: Jaemin
Rating: PG-15
Length: oneshot
Genre: Romance, Fluff, slight Humor
I love this song so much and I realized I haven’t done a song fic..let’s try!
That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile? (No....)
Changmin listens to his mp3 while Jaejoong drives his Porsche. It has been three years on and off relationship for them and Min always wonders why he still come back loving the one and only guy he ever dated. He looked at Jae’s well-sculptured arm muscles and the fair skin that all of the girls always envy. He could hear them whisper that he is so lucky to have him as his partner. He asks his heart once again: is it his physical form?
Min rests his hand on Jae’s legs and the latter smiled.
“I can’t right now, Min. Can’t you see I am driving?”
Min furrowed his eyebrow and fumes almost came out of his nose like a small dragon.
“I am not asking for an answer to that small gesture”.
“Yeah right. The last time I declined from your love signals you forced yourself to a plane in Brazil with Yunho. I still can’t forget the photos you had with him are so intimate”, Jaejoong huffed.
His train of thoughts got wrangled in his brain when Jae suddenly stopped the car. He rutted his eyebrow and smiled at his partner sarcastically.
“That serves you right after you had 50 takes with that girl in the drama. You forced yourself to have those numerous NGs because you like kissing her”.
But you won't let me
You upset me boy
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did
Changmin gasped after Jaejoong released his lips him from his. He still linger the strawberry flavored lip balm transferred to his lips. He doesn’t know why he does that in the middle of the fight but Min is not so sure if he really enjoys it or not.
“Don’t start with this fight once again. We are going to my sister’s house and my mom misses you a lot. You know I don’t enjoy kissing a girl. It’s just publicity. It’s also the same case when you touch that girl’s boobies”.
But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you
One hour passed and Jae’s whole family including his extended ones are clamoring on Changmin. He looked at Jaejoong smiling from a distance. One moment he was talking to his father about his dogs and cats then another minute he is in the kitchen cooking another feast. Mrs. Kim suddenly approaches Min.
“Does he give you headache once again? Please control him while drinking since he only listens to you. Did you know that he always updates me about you and he really looks up to you. I don’t even know if he is really your fan or a boy friend”, Mrs. Kim patted my back and squeezed my hand.
I will hand him over to you. We are not getting any younger. I trust your patience, understanding and love. You know him better than me.
These words struck Min and it was quite timely that Jaejoong suddenly approached him. He kissed his forehead and mouthed the words I am sorry.
“Why a sudden apology now?”
“Because I only let you listen to Mom’s rants. And thank you for still listening”.
“I thought you are saying sorry because you realized your mistake in the car”.
“It’s a misunderstanding. I got excited the moment you touched me and do you really want me to concentrate while driving or give you pleasure first?”
Changmin sighed and pretended he did not hear the last words that Jae had said.
“Are you still mad at me? I already kissed you”.
Min closed his eyes and controlled himself for starting a fight he cannot end.
“I wish you could just be more sensitive to my feelings. I don’t need a kiss or more intimate gestures. I need your real presence. Can’t you just be more sympathetic?”
Tears suddenly fall out of Min’s eyes while Jae wipes it gently.
“Why? What is it? Is it because I rarely call you after your PV shoot? I thought it is bad to call you? Your manager yells at me every time he accidentally answers your phone. I am at loss every time you say I am still lacking”.
Min’s breathing became normal once again. He looked at Jae’s teary eyes while both hands clasped his. He still doesn’t know how to explain to him that he needs more attention.
Said it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right
“I am sorry I neglect you nowadays. I promise I will rearrange my schedule and every Saturday will be our date. If I am out of the country, I will make sure I will contact you everyday even if I am busy. I think gchat or twitter is easier. What do you think?”
Changmin nodded and rests his head on Jae’s shoulder as he nibbles on his bare skin. He smells his fave cologne. It was his gift for him on his bday. Even if his fans gave him lots of sports and vintage cologne, he prefers what Min had given him. Slowly, he nibbles on his ears and caressed his cheeks.
“I know I am better than a chicken but I am feeling hungry, hun. Can we eat for a while?” Changmin smiled after hearing his hubby’s confession. It was the first time he ‘fess that he is really hungry before him.
You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh
Jae’s niece came to the couple after the short dinner and played with his uncle.
“When are you getting married? I haven’t seen your babies”, the little kid steals Min’s Iphone and played the game he wants.
Jaejoong smacked the boy’s head and smiled at Min.
“We don’t need a wedding to have a baby. If your Uncle Min will agree, we could adopt a baby. But that is if he just wants it. I can always have you and your cousins as our babies”.
Jaejoong nudged Min, who froze after hearing his hubby’s sudden answer. They haven’t talked about getting married or having a baby.
“Do you want another cousin? Do you think it is scientifically possible for your uncle or me to bear a child?”
“I don’t know. But I want to see a baby who looks like you or Uncle Jae”, Jae’s nephew stole a quick kiss on Min and blushed.
“See, I told you, you are a boy magnetic. I should talk to him or he might steal you from me someday”.
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa..)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oh..)
Jaejoong arranged the bed for them as Min came out of the shower. His shower gel and shampoo roam around the room which triggers Jae to show signs he needs to shower too.
“You don’t need to shower again. I still love your smell. Can we just cuddle for the night?”
“I don’t have work tomorrow. I just have to sign some posters for The Day premiere. Are you sure you just want to cuddle?”
“If I force myself to have more than a cuddle to you, it might result to something forced. I was thinking I want a wedding too”.
Jaejoong blinked twice as he sat near the edge of the bed. He orchestrated Min to sit to his right where the pillows are arranged.
“Are you sure? I don’t think your agency won’t let us. I don’t want to be disappointed again after letting me down for the fourth time”, Jae suddenly stops and hugs Min. He quickly remembered he didn’t tell him he already asks Min’s independence and about the possible wedding.
Min tries to escape from the quick hug and blushed. He was not sure if he really heard what Jae had said.
“You talked to them about our wedding? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I just begged to them and practically knelt to them; I just wanted us to be free”, Jae bowed as if he is now feeling the sadness of being rejected.
“Did you know that I didn’t sign for the extension of the contract? We only need a year to prepare for the wedding. I think they won’t push it since the court says we are already out of the bond after the contract ends. Can you still wait for a year?”
Jaejoong didn’t answer right away and brushed his lower lips on Min’s. While still cupping Min’s chin, Jae whispered to him.
“Even if it takes another century, I will wait for you. But have you thought about what will happen to Yunho if you get out of the agency?”
Min raised his eyebrow and crooked his nose. His jealousy is triggered every time YunJae can be felt in the air.
“I thought you only care about what will happen to me? Let him decide for his own future. It’s time for me to have another life that I want”, Min pouted and looked at his hubby.
“Are you going to be my manager after you ended your contract? I might lose lots of appointments because you might screen them - are you ready to face the wrath of some of my fan clubs?”
“I have been living a life of a celebrity for the past 10 years now. I think I am more than ready to face them. Being on the sideline can be fun too. If I decided to come back after missing singing in concerts, I might try being a guest in one of your shows or dramas”, Min giggles while picturing his future in his mind.
Jaejoong hugged Min and ushered him to rest on his well-toned arms. He mumbled some words which are inaudible but Min wanted to hear it.
“I wonder if there will be more anti fans tweeting me hate messages. Well they are still fans since they still watch or buy our dvds”, Jae chuckled to his own weird conclusion.
“Well I think Yunho got the more hit after they realized I was not in the next Summer SM concert. I don’t want to lose the opportunity seeing you as a prince in Dr. Jin. Whatever it takes, I will spend twice a week as your personal minder”, Min played with Jae’s now-erected bud while the latter controls his squeal. Jae’s two older sisters are just a room away.
Jaejoong kissed Min’s hair and laughed as he watched Min’s foot wiggling and running out of space on the bed because of its length. He is now happy that his hubby is finally comfortable and not worrying about what may happen next.
“I hope we will sleep in one bed even if we are the same age as my mom and dad. I don’t want to be like dad who always argue with mom about TV. They ended up not sleeping together because they don’t agree on simple things”, Jae brushed Min’s hair as the latter lands butterfly kisses on the former.
“Arguments are part of a relationship. I think SM and the fans called us soulfighters for nothing. Even if I don’t agree on all of the things you say or do, we still end up on bed. It’s kinda looked kinky for some but it’s romantic for me. Yeah, I want us to stay like this even if we don’t have babies. Do you want to adopt?”
“I can’t answer right away. I think I should reconsider a fan’s offer about her frozen eggs”, Jae sounded serious but Min didn’t like the way how he said it naturally.
“I will make sure she won’t touch a single strand of your hair from your head to foot. No one will touch someone’s eggs. I am happy with our eggs”, they both chuckled and continued to dream like the future is just around the corner. In another hour, their heads naturally faced one another as both of their hands intertwined; clasping near their hearts.
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...