The Worries of Shim Changmin
Title: The Worries of Shim Changmin
Author: chocolet89
Pairing: Yunho/Changmin
Rating: R (to be safe)
Length: Oneshot
Genre: Humor, Crack if you wish, tiny hint of smut
Summary: Changmin leads a very simple, carefree life … except when it comes to a certain Jung Yunho
Changmin leads a very simple, carefree life.
Sort of … well, not when a certain Jung Yunho is involved.
When Jung Yunho is involved, Changmin’s life almost always does a complete 360 degree turn equivalent to that of a roller coaster ride. To try and count the number of times Yunho has made him lose blood cells, Changmin always needs an extra pair of hands to count on, and maybe another set of paws from Mandoongie if he’s serious.
He’s probably up to event number 37 when the next one happens.
It all starts when Yunho finally decides it's time to get rid of his man belly that he’s had for the past year or so.
*
In Yunho’s opinion, in order to get rid of his man belly, he has to man up and go to the gym.
Which is perfectly fine by Changmin, really it is.
God knows he’s been teasing bugging Yunho about it ever since that first time he blew a raspberry on Yunho’s tummy and it jiggled.
What Changmin isn’t fine about, is Yunho’s preference of clothes when he steps out of their bedroom a few days after the older man’s declaration about manning up.
“Jung Yunho,” Changmin states from where he’s lounging on the couch with the latest One Piece comic book in his lap.
One of Yunho’s eyebrows rises up in response.
“What,” Changmin pauses for effect before continuing, “are you wearing?”
“Err … clothes?”
There goes the first blood cell, Changmin thinks.
“I know you’re wearing clothes, but what are you wearing?” Changmin emphasises the last word so that Yunho will interpret it better.
Nope.
“… clothes for going to the gym?”
POOM … blood cell number two.
“Yunho,” Changmin sighs before standing up and making his way towards the older man.
“Is there … something wrong with my clothes?” Yunho asks when Changmin pokes at his shirt.
“They’re too big for you, you look like you’re wearing clothes three times the size of your body. Not to mention they look like they’ve been hibernating at the bottom of your closet for the past ten years or so.”
Yunho looks mildly offended.
“H.O.T wore clothes like this.”
“Their clothes weren’t wrinkled and smelling of mothballs. And don’t bring them into this. We’re talking about you.”
Yunho scuffs his feet, which are currently half hidden by the oversized track pants he’s wearing.
“I feel better if I wear this to the gym. Then people won’t see how big my thighs are, or how pudgy my stomach is … and … and my man boobs …” the last bit is just the barest of a whisper but Changmin still hears it, having been used to Yunho’s mumblings over the past seven years.
“Oh Yunho,” Changmin says as he steps closer and wraps his arms around the older man’s waist.
It’s so easy for Yunho to just crumble against him with a sniffle after that.
“You’re not fat, you’re far from it. You’re just not as ... toned. Not everyone has a six pack hyung, it’s okay,” Changmin reassures. And he’ll never admit it, but he secretly loves Yunho’s tummy, it’s adorable. His favourite thing to do apart from blowing raspberries on it, is to just lie his head on top of said tummy to take a nap … or read a book.
“But …”
“But nothing. There’s bound to be people at the gym wearing clothes that might cling to them but they’re not all toned either.”
It takes a bit more convincing, but eventually Changmin coaxes Yunho out of those hideous clothes with kisses and praises whispered along his skin.
Yunho doesn’t make it to the gym that day, nor does he make it into another set of clothes.
*
Their individual schedules overlap each other for a short period of time after that so Changmin never does find out what Yunho’s second choice of attire is for when he goes to the gym.
At least not until a good three weeks later.
This time, it’s harder to convince Yunho out of the clothes.
Clothes that consist of really really short shorts and wife beaters that always seem two sizes too small on Yunho when he goes to the gym. Changmin is horrified and demands that Yunho cover himself more but Yunho doesn't seem to understand why.
“You were right about the baggy clothes Changminnie, I’m so glad I took your advice. It gets so hot once I start working out and you know how much I sweat,” Yunho says to him in explanation. It makes perfect sense except Changmin just refuses to accept it.
So one day another week down the track, Changmin ditches Kyuhyun’s offer of a Starcraft marathon and instead goes to the gym with Yunho with the sole reason and purpose being to protect him.
Upon arrival at the gym, he follows Yunho to a corner where they stretch and warm up together, Changmin all the while scanning the gym for predators.
They hit the ellipticals first. They’re not even a minute into it when Changmin notices men and women take seats opposite them and stare in the general direction of Yunho's crotch. Changmin follows their gaze and almost has a nosebleed at seeing Yunho's white shorts hiked up so high that his thighs are on full display. But this isn't it. Yunho's bulge is also on display for everyone to see, the shorts doing a fabulous job of outlining every. single. detail.
He looks up to see the men swallowing visibly and at a second glance towards the end of the row, he’s pretty sure that woman at the last elliptical is drooling.
Holding back a snarl, Changmin turns to face Yunho with a hopefully-not-too-bright-smile and asks if they can move to a different area, “because my legs are too long for this hyung,” as if that was the best he could come up with.
It works of course, and so they move on to another area and Yunho sits down and starts pulling weights. Changmin almost faints when Yunho spreads his legs for better balance. A lady walking past squeals and runs into a man who has a tissue under his nose. Yunho is oblivious however and pays no attention whatsoever.
This is ridiculous Changmin thinks.
*
“You are not allowed to go to the public gym anymore,” Changmin declares a few days later after the trip to the gym with Yunho.
Yunho looks up from reading some weekly Gwang-Ju newspaper he’d subscribed to years ago.
“What?” he asks as if he’s heard incorrectly.
“I said, you are not allowed to go to the public gym anymore hyung,” Changmin repeats himself.
Yunho frowns.
“But why?”
Changmin decides that unless he puts things bluntly, Yunho is just not going to understand no matter what.
“Because,” Changmin starts as he takes a seat directly opposite the older man at the table and resists the urge to roll his eyes at how Yunho is once again squatting on his chair in that weird way of his.
“Because?” Yunho repeats.
Changmin huffs and then slams his hands down on the table for emphasis, startling Yunho who jumps a little in his seat but still retains the squatting position.
“Because Jung, in case you haven’t noticed, the shorts that you wear to the gym are so fucking short that every time you bend, squat or sit down, your fucking balls and dick are showing!”
Yunho blinks once, and then his jaw drops open.
“And don’t even get me started when you’re on the treadmill. It’s bad enough that your shorts are short, but you don’t even wear any underwear! Can’t you feel your balls and dick flopping all over the place when you’re jogging??”
Yunho gasps and splutters, newspaper finally falling from his hands as he starts to wave them around in an act to try and disperse Changmin’s words into the air.
“I- what, they do not flop all over the place!” Yunho cries out indignantly.
Changmin rolls his eyes as his crosses his arms.
“And its uncomfortable when I wear briefs under the shorts, everything just feels too tight,” Yunho adds on as an afterthought.
“Yes they do,” Changmin says, ignoring the last comment. “Just like they do every time you jump up and down in a concert regardless of the fact that your beloved fans are less than a metre away from you or standing directly under the stage.”
Well, Yunho can’t really deny that. That was so, so awkward, even more so because his pants had split.
“But that was only a few t-” Yunho cuts off when Changmin delivers a withering glare at him as if daring him to finish that sentence.
Changmin looks like he wants to say something that will make their ancestors rise from the grave before changing his mind at the last minute. Instead, he pulls out his handphone, taps it a few times before sliding it across the table to the older man.
“Watch it,” he instructs with a nod of his head.
Yunho picks up the phone and it takes him a few seconds to realize that that’s his dick and balls encased in his white gym shorts bouncing up and down on the screen.
“What the fuck?” Yunho squawks out.
Changmin raises an eyebrow and tilts his head towards the phone in answer.
Yunho’s brows draw together and he looks down again just in time to see the camera moving away from his dick and balls (that were still bouncing up and down) to a row of about five people who were on the treadmills opposite him, but they didn’t look like they were working out. They looked distracted and- … ohh was this what Changminnie meant?
“Jung Yunho,” Changmin deadpans.
Yunho swallows. There’s another ten seconds to go on the video and Yunho watches (as saliva inconspicuously drips down one of the women’s chin) until the screen blacks out and then he sheepishly looks up at Changmin.
“Yes Changminnie?”
“Hyung,” Changmin says as he runs a hand through his hair. “Do you see what I mean now?”
Yunho puts on his best innocent face, lips pressed together in a small smile and eyes widening in innocence.
“Yes?” he answers meekly.
Changmin sighs.
“I can’t believe how oblivious you are hyung. Did you really not see those people ogling you out at the gym every single day?”
Yunho has the decency to blush. He honestly did not notice.
“You know I get lost in my own world when I work out Changminnie. All my surroundings just disappear and well, yeah …”
“You’re hopeless hyung,” Changmin sighs again as he wonders how he ever came to have feelings for this idiot.
“I promise I’ll wear underwear next time I go,” Yunho tries reassuringly.
Changmin opens his mouth but Yunho is quick to add,
“And longer pants.”
“And something to cover your moobs,” Changmin says with a smirk.
Yunho pouts but nods his head once.
“And something to cover my moobs.”
Changmin smiles then, the first smile Yunho’s seen this morning.
“But … if they continue to ogle you, I’m still banning you from the gym.”
Yunho’s about to nod in agreement when a sudden thought occurs to him and he slides his chair around the table until he’s pressed close against Changmin’s side.
“You know, you didn’t really mention anything about wanting me to change my clothes in the first place though, just that you didn’t want me going to the public gym anymore. Could it be that you want me to work out at home so that you can ogle me all by yourself?”
A stray teardrop of sweat slides down Changmin’s forehead and he clears his throat and glances away in answer.
That may or may not have been the idea.
“Why didn’t you just say so from the beginning Changminnie?” Yunho says as he slides out of his chair and directly into Changmin’s lap.
Changmin opens his mouth to answer and is immediately cut off with a firm press of lips to his own.
“I can think of a lot of ways to workout with you at home,” Yunho whispers in that seductive way that only Jung Yunho can as he presses kiss after kiss against Changmin’s lips.
“Y-yeah?” Changmin stutters out because god dammit, he can never focus properly when he has a lap full of sexy Jung kissing him senseless.
“We can do pushups together, and sit ups … oh and squats, I’m pretty good at squats Changminnie,” Yunho continues with a roll of his hips.
“Damn right you are,” Changmin says with a growl as he recalls how enthusiastic Yunho was last night as he bounced up and down in Changmin’s lap until he came with the younger man’s name on his lips.
Yunho laughs and lets Changmin hoist him up by the ass, carrying them over to the living room and depositing him none too gently onto the couch.
“Shall we get started then Jung? My PT always recommends to get workouts done early in the morning so it’s out of the way for the rest of the day,” Changmin suggests as he settles himself comfortably between Yunho’s spread legs.
“That sounds like an excellent idea PT Changminnie,” Yunho replies with his trademark megawatt smile before bringing their hips together to show Changmin just how agreeable he is to this suggestion.
-End-
Author: chocolet89
Pairing: Yunho/Changmin
Rating: R (to be safe)
Length: Oneshot
Genre: Humor, Crack if you wish, tiny hint of smut
Summary: Changmin leads a very simple, carefree life … except when it comes to a certain Jung Yunho
Changmin leads a very simple, carefree life.
Sort of … well, not when a certain Jung Yunho is involved.
When Jung Yunho is involved, Changmin’s life almost always does a complete 360 degree turn equivalent to that of a roller coaster ride. To try and count the number of times Yunho has made him lose blood cells, Changmin always needs an extra pair of hands to count on, and maybe another set of paws from Mandoongie if he’s serious.
He’s probably up to event number 37 when the next one happens.
It all starts when Yunho finally decides it's time to get rid of his man belly that he’s had for the past year or so.
*
In Yunho’s opinion, in order to get rid of his man belly, he has to man up and go to the gym.
Which is perfectly fine by Changmin, really it is.
God knows he’s been teasing bugging Yunho about it ever since that first time he blew a raspberry on Yunho’s tummy and it jiggled.
What Changmin isn’t fine about, is Yunho’s preference of clothes when he steps out of their bedroom a few days after the older man’s declaration about manning up.
“Jung Yunho,” Changmin states from where he’s lounging on the couch with the latest One Piece comic book in his lap.
One of Yunho’s eyebrows rises up in response.
“What,” Changmin pauses for effect before continuing, “are you wearing?”
“Err … clothes?”
There goes the first blood cell, Changmin thinks.
“I know you’re wearing clothes, but what are you wearing?” Changmin emphasises the last word so that Yunho will interpret it better.
Nope.
“… clothes for going to the gym?”
POOM … blood cell number two.
“Yunho,” Changmin sighs before standing up and making his way towards the older man.
“Is there … something wrong with my clothes?” Yunho asks when Changmin pokes at his shirt.
“They’re too big for you, you look like you’re wearing clothes three times the size of your body. Not to mention they look like they’ve been hibernating at the bottom of your closet for the past ten years or so.”
Yunho looks mildly offended.
“H.O.T wore clothes like this.”
“Their clothes weren’t wrinkled and smelling of mothballs. And don’t bring them into this. We’re talking about you.”
Yunho scuffs his feet, which are currently half hidden by the oversized track pants he’s wearing.
“I feel better if I wear this to the gym. Then people won’t see how big my thighs are, or how pudgy my stomach is … and … and my man boobs …” the last bit is just the barest of a whisper but Changmin still hears it, having been used to Yunho’s mumblings over the past seven years.
“Oh Yunho,” Changmin says as he steps closer and wraps his arms around the older man’s waist.
It’s so easy for Yunho to just crumble against him with a sniffle after that.
“You’re not fat, you’re far from it. You’re just not as ... toned. Not everyone has a six pack hyung, it’s okay,” Changmin reassures. And he’ll never admit it, but he secretly loves Yunho’s tummy, it’s adorable. His favourite thing to do apart from blowing raspberries on it, is to just lie his head on top of said tummy to take a nap … or read a book.
“But …”
“But nothing. There’s bound to be people at the gym wearing clothes that might cling to them but they’re not all toned either.”
It takes a bit more convincing, but eventually Changmin coaxes Yunho out of those hideous clothes with kisses and praises whispered along his skin.
Yunho doesn’t make it to the gym that day, nor does he make it into another set of clothes.
*
Their individual schedules overlap each other for a short period of time after that so Changmin never does find out what Yunho’s second choice of attire is for when he goes to the gym.
At least not until a good three weeks later.
This time, it’s harder to convince Yunho out of the clothes.
Clothes that consist of really really short shorts and wife beaters that always seem two sizes too small on Yunho when he goes to the gym. Changmin is horrified and demands that Yunho cover himself more but Yunho doesn't seem to understand why.
“You were right about the baggy clothes Changminnie, I’m so glad I took your advice. It gets so hot once I start working out and you know how much I sweat,” Yunho says to him in explanation. It makes perfect sense except Changmin just refuses to accept it.
So one day another week down the track, Changmin ditches Kyuhyun’s offer of a Starcraft marathon and instead goes to the gym with Yunho with the sole reason and purpose being to protect him.
Upon arrival at the gym, he follows Yunho to a corner where they stretch and warm up together, Changmin all the while scanning the gym for predators.
They hit the ellipticals first. They’re not even a minute into it when Changmin notices men and women take seats opposite them and stare in the general direction of Yunho's crotch. Changmin follows their gaze and almost has a nosebleed at seeing Yunho's white shorts hiked up so high that his thighs are on full display. But this isn't it. Yunho's bulge is also on display for everyone to see, the shorts doing a fabulous job of outlining every. single. detail.
He looks up to see the men swallowing visibly and at a second glance towards the end of the row, he’s pretty sure that woman at the last elliptical is drooling.
Holding back a snarl, Changmin turns to face Yunho with a hopefully-not-too-bright-smile and asks if they can move to a different area, “because my legs are too long for this hyung,” as if that was the best he could come up with.
It works of course, and so they move on to another area and Yunho sits down and starts pulling weights. Changmin almost faints when Yunho spreads his legs for better balance. A lady walking past squeals and runs into a man who has a tissue under his nose. Yunho is oblivious however and pays no attention whatsoever.
This is ridiculous Changmin thinks.
*
“You are not allowed to go to the public gym anymore,” Changmin declares a few days later after the trip to the gym with Yunho.
Yunho looks up from reading some weekly Gwang-Ju newspaper he’d subscribed to years ago.
“What?” he asks as if he’s heard incorrectly.
“I said, you are not allowed to go to the public gym anymore hyung,” Changmin repeats himself.
Yunho frowns.
“But why?”
Changmin decides that unless he puts things bluntly, Yunho is just not going to understand no matter what.
“Because,” Changmin starts as he takes a seat directly opposite the older man at the table and resists the urge to roll his eyes at how Yunho is once again squatting on his chair in that weird way of his.
“Because?” Yunho repeats.
Changmin huffs and then slams his hands down on the table for emphasis, startling Yunho who jumps a little in his seat but still retains the squatting position.
“Because Jung, in case you haven’t noticed, the shorts that you wear to the gym are so fucking short that every time you bend, squat or sit down, your fucking balls and dick are showing!”
Yunho blinks once, and then his jaw drops open.
“And don’t even get me started when you’re on the treadmill. It’s bad enough that your shorts are short, but you don’t even wear any underwear! Can’t you feel your balls and dick flopping all over the place when you’re jogging??”
Yunho gasps and splutters, newspaper finally falling from his hands as he starts to wave them around in an act to try and disperse Changmin’s words into the air.
“I- what, they do not flop all over the place!” Yunho cries out indignantly.
Changmin rolls his eyes as his crosses his arms.
“And its uncomfortable when I wear briefs under the shorts, everything just feels too tight,” Yunho adds on as an afterthought.
“Yes they do,” Changmin says, ignoring the last comment. “Just like they do every time you jump up and down in a concert regardless of the fact that your beloved fans are less than a metre away from you or standing directly under the stage.”
Well, Yunho can’t really deny that. That was so, so awkward, even more so because his pants had split.
“But that was only a few t-” Yunho cuts off when Changmin delivers a withering glare at him as if daring him to finish that sentence.
Changmin looks like he wants to say something that will make their ancestors rise from the grave before changing his mind at the last minute. Instead, he pulls out his handphone, taps it a few times before sliding it across the table to the older man.
“Watch it,” he instructs with a nod of his head.
Yunho picks up the phone and it takes him a few seconds to realize that that’s his dick and balls encased in his white gym shorts bouncing up and down on the screen.
“What the fuck?” Yunho squawks out.
Changmin raises an eyebrow and tilts his head towards the phone in answer.
Yunho’s brows draw together and he looks down again just in time to see the camera moving away from his dick and balls (that were still bouncing up and down) to a row of about five people who were on the treadmills opposite him, but they didn’t look like they were working out. They looked distracted and- … ohh was this what Changminnie meant?
“Jung Yunho,” Changmin deadpans.
Yunho swallows. There’s another ten seconds to go on the video and Yunho watches (as saliva inconspicuously drips down one of the women’s chin) until the screen blacks out and then he sheepishly looks up at Changmin.
“Yes Changminnie?”
“Hyung,” Changmin says as he runs a hand through his hair. “Do you see what I mean now?”
Yunho puts on his best innocent face, lips pressed together in a small smile and eyes widening in innocence.
“Yes?” he answers meekly.
Changmin sighs.
“I can’t believe how oblivious you are hyung. Did you really not see those people ogling you out at the gym every single day?”
Yunho has the decency to blush. He honestly did not notice.
“You know I get lost in my own world when I work out Changminnie. All my surroundings just disappear and well, yeah …”
“You’re hopeless hyung,” Changmin sighs again as he wonders how he ever came to have feelings for this idiot.
“I promise I’ll wear underwear next time I go,” Yunho tries reassuringly.
Changmin opens his mouth but Yunho is quick to add,
“And longer pants.”
“And something to cover your moobs,” Changmin says with a smirk.
Yunho pouts but nods his head once.
“And something to cover my moobs.”
Changmin smiles then, the first smile Yunho’s seen this morning.
“But … if they continue to ogle you, I’m still banning you from the gym.”
Yunho’s about to nod in agreement when a sudden thought occurs to him and he slides his chair around the table until he’s pressed close against Changmin’s side.
“You know, you didn’t really mention anything about wanting me to change my clothes in the first place though, just that you didn’t want me going to the public gym anymore. Could it be that you want me to work out at home so that you can ogle me all by yourself?”
A stray teardrop of sweat slides down Changmin’s forehead and he clears his throat and glances away in answer.
That may or may not have been the idea.
“Why didn’t you just say so from the beginning Changminnie?” Yunho says as he slides out of his chair and directly into Changmin’s lap.
Changmin opens his mouth to answer and is immediately cut off with a firm press of lips to his own.
“I can think of a lot of ways to workout with you at home,” Yunho whispers in that seductive way that only Jung Yunho can as he presses kiss after kiss against Changmin’s lips.
“Y-yeah?” Changmin stutters out because god dammit, he can never focus properly when he has a lap full of sexy Jung kissing him senseless.
“We can do pushups together, and sit ups … oh and squats, I’m pretty good at squats Changminnie,” Yunho continues with a roll of his hips.
“Damn right you are,” Changmin says with a growl as he recalls how enthusiastic Yunho was last night as he bounced up and down in Changmin’s lap until he came with the younger man’s name on his lips.
Yunho laughs and lets Changmin hoist him up by the ass, carrying them over to the living room and depositing him none too gently onto the couch.
“Shall we get started then Jung? My PT always recommends to get workouts done early in the morning so it’s out of the way for the rest of the day,” Changmin suggests as he settles himself comfortably between Yunho’s spread legs.
“That sounds like an excellent idea PT Changminnie,” Yunho replies with his trademark megawatt smile before bringing their hips together to show Changmin just how agreeable he is to this suggestion.
-End-