I Love You
Title: I Love You
Author: chocolet89
Pairing: OT5
Rating: PG
Length: One-Shot
Genre: Angst
Summary: Yunho breaks down watching the newly released 3hree Voices II DVD. Changmin is there to comfort him and he soon realizes himself just how much he misses Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu.
A/N: Thank you to my lovely official beta yuutong ^^ thank you so much for helping me beta my fics and putting up with my neverending DBSK fangirl spazzing XD
~
Yunho sat curled up on the couch, knees up to his chest with Bambi tucked securely in between. His eyes never the left the screen, listening to every word uttered. He watched on as Jaejoong bared his feelings to the camera; watched as tears came unbidden to the eyes of the man who never cried.
I want to go back in time to two and a half years ago.
Yunho’s eyes glistened with his own tears as he heard those words. He clutched Bambi even closer to his chest as he watched the man on the screen slowly fall apart. He’d already watched Yoochun and Junsu’s parts on the DVD, their words also echoing in his head.
He heard some noise behind him and looked up to see Changmin stumbling into the kitchen for a late night drink.
Yunho took in the maknae’s appearance. Changmin had matured so much in the past two years. Gone was the young boy who would come shivering and crying into his bed back when they shared a room when he had a nightmare or when he felt insecure about their debut as an idol.
Not really knowing when, Changmin had unconsciously built a barrier around himself, like a wall, masking his emotions and refusing to let anyone in. The young boy that used to tease or laugh at his hyung’s jokes and antics was buried deep inside, hidden behind that wall.
Now a different person stood before him; someone whose face and expressions had hardened over the past few years. The maknae was now an adult, making his own decisions, stepping out into the acting industry on his own, no longer relying on other members of the group for anything.
As Changmin walked back out passing by the living room, he froze when he saw Yunho looking up at him with tear-soaked eyes from the couch.
“C-Changmin,” Yunho whispered, voice breaking off with a sob.
Changmin immediately snapped awake at the tone of the leader’s voice and rushed over to his side, embracing the other man in a hug.
“Hyung, what’s wrong?”
Yunho stayed silent, burying his head into Changmin’s shoulder, and Changmin let him cry, feeling the tears soak into his thin cotton shirt.
Changmin kept one hand around the leader’s waist while running his other hand up and down his back in soothing motions. His attention was drawn away however when he heard a sad melody emit from the TV, a sad acapella from the voice he’d missed so much. He turned his gaze to the screen and watched the man in the screen sway in time to a beat only he could hear.
“I miss him so much Changmin, I miss them all so much,” Yunho whispered breaking Changmin’s focus away from the screen.
Changmin tightened his hold on the older man, wondering silently when their positions had reversed.
It always used to be Changmin who would find his way into the leader’s arms whenever they were alone in their shared room. Back where Changmin would let his emotions fall free, let out all his insecurities about them debuting in a foreign country where they knew only the very basics of the language.
But when everything fell apart, when the other three members were no longer around, and the leader was falling apart, it was up to Changmin to pick up the broken pieces and mend them back together slowly one by one.
Changmin had been there, comforting the leader in the safety of their dorms where there were no reporters, no media, no managers or directors. Slowly their positions had reversed in the hard times and it was Yunho who would crawl into the maknae’s bed at night when he couldn’t sleep because he was in so much pain.
Changmin’s heart had hurt so much to see the man who had always lead them all with a strong heart and mind fall apart in his arms. That was probably around the time when he started to build the barrier around himself, to make himself more stronger so he could protect the man who had always been there for him so many years ago.
He had been there when Yunho fell into depression and he had been there to help Yunho overcome it. He had helped to heal the wounds as best as he could but there were scars he knew that would never fade; scars that were not visible on the outside, scars that only Changmin could see.
As he continued to watch the video on the screen, Changmin could feel the barrier he’d tried so hard to keep up, start to crumble. He listened to the words being said, the emotions that were easily seen. No secrets were kept hidden.
“I miss them too,” Changmin whispered softly, admitting something he’d always kept hidden, refusing to admit. He was surprised when he felt the pad of Yunho’s thumb brush across his left cheek.
It was wet.
When had he started crying? Hadn’t he stopped crying a long time ago? Hadn’t he promised himself that he would not cry anymore when it was decided they would start all over again? More tears fell down his cheeks and Yunho continued to wipe them away for him.
To say Changmin hadn’t felt betrayed was a lie. He had felt it. He had felt betrayal, hurt, anger, pain, sadness. Everything. Weren’t they supposed to be together forever? Why did they have to leave?
“Why?” Changmin whispered, eyelids fluttering shut as Yunho kissed them.
“Didn’t we all say it at one time? TVXQ is not TVXQ without the five of us? So why did they leave? Why are we now standing on stage not as five but as two? Why?”
His feelings for the other three members were, to put it simply, confusing. And he said members because they will always be a part of TVXQ. They were a family. Nothing could change that. He felt pain. But there were two different types of pain. The first pain was for them.
He felt pain and anger when he saw how hard it was for them to just appear on TV in Korea. It hurt him to see them struggling so much when they shouldn’t be.
They were once the most sought out idols in the country. To see them now have to go against so much, it angered and pained him so much to see.
The second pain was at them. It pained him to see them promoting as just three. Without Yunho. Without himself. Hadn’t they agreed to do everything together? Why were they now conquering Asia and America without Yunho and himself? They should be doing this together. It hurt him to see them doing so well without them.
“Why?” Changmin repeated again.
Yunho just stayed silent, having no answer for the maknae. He had asked himself these same questions many times already in the past.
Turning his attention back to the TV screen, Yunho watched as Jaejoong laughed at something the cameraman had said. More tears prickled at his eyes as a bittersweet smile graced his lips. He missed that sound so much. As the camera zoomed in on Jaejoong’s face, Yunho noticed that the happiness didn’t quite reach the older man’s eyes.
---
Later that night, Changmin sat with his back against the headboard of the bed, Yunho curled up against his side. It’d been awhile since they’d last slept together in the same bed. Ever since their return to the stage, Yunho had been so focused on his schedules he didn’t have time to think about anything else. Before that, Changmin had been busy with other things himself such as filming for his drama, Paradise Ranch.
Changmin smiled down at Yunho who had Bambi squished between their bodies. Even after all their years together, some things just never change.
Changmin watched on a little bit longer at the man sleeping beside him, his relaxed features calming Changmin’s mind and soul.
Taking a deep breath, Changmin finally made up his mind.
Reaching into the drawer beside the bed, Changmin dug under all the papers and books he kept there until he reached the bottom. Feeling for the small case he’d kept hidden there, Changmin wrapped his fingers around it and pulled it out.
Taking his phone from the bedside table, Changmin opened it and took out the sim card placing it aside. Opening the small case, Changmin pulled out another sim card, one that he hadn’t touched in a long time.
Slipping it into his phone, Changmin turned it on and waited. He quickly turned it on silent as message after message was received. All of them were from someone called ‘Boo’.
As he opened and read each and every message, tears started forming in his eyes again.
Making up his mind, Changmin quickly typed up a short message:
Boo,
Bambi misses you, and Mouse and Dolphin.
Minnie.
His thumb hovered over the send button and he hesitated for a few seconds. Then he looked down at Yunho’s peaceful face again before firming his resolve and hitting the button.
---
Jaejoong was sitting on his bed reading a book while Yoochun and Junsu were cuddled up on the other bed in their hotel room giggling over something on the TV.
Suddenly the first verse of their song Hug started playing and Jaejoong sat up in surprise. Throwing the book aside, Jaejoong dove for his bag on the floor and started digging through it searching for something.
“Hyung what are you doing?” Junsu asked looking up.
Jaejoong didn’t answer and instead continued tossing wallets, pens and other miscellaneous objects from in his bag aside until he finally dug up a phone from the bottom of his bag. With shaking hands, Jaejoong opened the phone and clicked on the key to read the new message.
When he finished reading, Jaejoong slumped to the floor, phone clutched tightly in his hand. Yoochun frowned and the two younger men made their way to the floor to join Jaejoong, Yoochun taking a seat to the left of him and Junsu taking a seat on the right.
“What is it hyung?” Yoochun asked wrestling the phone out of Jaejoong’s grip. His eyes widened at the message and Junsu quickly snatched the phone out of his hand curious to see what had made the two older members’ eyes widen in surprise.
He gasped at the brief message on the phone before slowly handing it back to Jaejoong.
Jaejoong’s whole body was shaking. He didn’t know whether to cry, laugh, smile or do all at the same time. It’d been so long since someone had contacted him on this number. The last time had been over two years ago. Yet he had made sure to keep it fully charged and turned on every day, just in case. And he was glad he did.
A few minutes later, once his mind had calmed down enough from the joy and excitement, he typed his reply as the other two members huddled around him.
Minnie,
Dolphin, Mouse and Boo miss you and Bambi too.
I love you.
Boo.
---
The phone vibrated in Changmin’s hand shaking him out of his thoughts. Looking down, Changmin stared at the ‘new message’ icon flashing on his phone screen. Biting his lip, Changmin opened the message and waited for it to load.
More tears trailed down his face as he read the message.
Before he could back out of it, Changmin quickly typed up another short message, pressing send as soon as he was done.
I love you too … Bambi does too … always had and always will.
---
As soon as the phone vibrated in his palms Jaejoong quickly opened the new text message, eager to read the reply. He hadn’t been expecting another text so soon, but he definitely wasn’t complaining.
Yoochun and Junsu crowded around him to read the reply both wrapping an arm around Jaejoong’s waist to give him their support. Jaejoong let out a strangled gasp and covered his mouth with a hand.
Tears started to form in his eyes and there was nothing he could do to hold them back. Yoochun's grip on his waist tightened and Jaejoong didn’t need to turn around to see that Yoochun was also in the same condition as he was. Junsu rested his head on Jaejoong’s shoulder, his other hand rubbing Jaejoong’s thigh in a soothing motion.
Jaejoong couldn’t stand it any longer. He didn’t care if people found out. Hovering his thumb over the dial key, he looked at the other two members who both nodded their heads in consent. Jaejoong smiled and hit the dial key.
The other end answered after five rings.
“H-Hello?” Jaejoong asked in a shaky voice.
Silence greeted him. He wasn’t sure who it was that had answered, but he had a feeling it was the maknae.
“Is that you Min?” he whispered.
An intake of breath answered him.
Jaejoong put it on loud speaker and started talking.
“M-Min … I miss you so much. Yunho too, I miss him too. I’m so sorry … so sorry for everything. I never meant for things to be this way. I never meant to hurt the two of you. I really do miss you two so much. And it hurts me every night to know that I caused the both of you to suffer so much. I’m sorry Min, and I really hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I … I love you.”
Jaejoong put a hand up to cover his mouth again as he broke off into a cry. Yoochun and Junsu tightened their hold around the older man, silent tears running down both of their cheeks. They waited for the other end to say something.
---
Changmin listened to the whole confession, biting his lip to keep from crying out. He wanted so much to turn back time, back to where they were still rookies promoting in Korea and Japan, not as two, not as three, but as five, back where there was no lawsuit or anything. Back when their only worries were getting on time to an interview when they slept in.
As Jaejoong finished off, Changmin opened his mouth only to shut it again. There was so much he wanted to say but couldn’t. He wanted to yell at the older man for walking away from him. He wanted to scream at him, asking him why he left, why Yoochun left, why Junsu left. But he couldn’t.
As he heard a muffled sob from the other end, Changmin shut his eyes, hating that things had to be like this.
“I-I love you too,” Changmin finally whispered, voice breaking at the last second. He cut off the phone before they could answer. The phone slipped out of his grasp and he buried his face in his hands, tugging his knees up to his chest.
Soft hands suddenly touched his fingers and Changmin lifted his face up to look into the eyes of the leader. Yunho smiled up at him, eyes shining with tears as he wiped the maknae’s own away.
“Thank you,” Yunho whispered leaning up and this time it was Changmin’s turn to bury his face into Yunho’s shoulders, his tears soaking into the leader’s shirt.
“We’ll come back together again right hyung?” Changmin whispered insecurely.
Yunho’s heart clenched in pain. It’d been so long since Changmin had voiced out anything about coming back together again as five.
The Changmin he knew before the lawsuit was back.
“Yes of course we will Minnie. We were never separated in the first place. We are Dong Bang Shin Ki right? Only when the five of us are together are we called Dong Bang Shin Ki - didn’t you say that once?” the leader replied with a smile.
“Ne,” Changmin mumbled into Yunho’s shirt.
“Don’t worry, everything will be okay,” Yunho whispered, wrapping his arms around the younger member.
Changmin just stayed silent, releasing all those tears he’d refused to let out since as long as he could remember.
That’s right. Only when the five of us are together are we called Dong Bang Shin Ki. We were never separated in the first place. Please come back soon.
---
“Minnie …” Jaejoong breathed out as the call disconnected. The phone once again fell limply from his hand as he tried to gather up his thoughts and emotions.
“Minnie,” he repeated again, this time brokenly and the two younger members beside him quickly embraced him in a hug.
“D-Does this mean he doesn’t hate us?” Jaejoong whispered quietly.
Yoochun opened his mouth to reply but no words came out. Tears were trailing down his face and he closed his mouth again to swallow the lump in his throat.
Junsu decided to take over and, keeping one arm around Jaejoong’s waist, reached his other hand out to link his fingers with Yoochun’s.
“He never hated us hyung,” Junsu replied, a smile slowly appearing on his face even as his eyes blurred with tears.
Jaejoong’s eyes flickered to the phone lying in front of him and he had the sudden urge to grab it and press the redial key. There was so much he wanted to ask. Why hadn’t they called for so long? Why now? How were they dealing with the comeback? All these questions he wanted to ask but he knew that the maknae needed time.
Even though they’d been separated for so long, Jaejoong never forgot how to deal with the maknae’s tantrums and behaviours. If he called now, there was a high possibility that Changmin wouldn’t pick up. Insecure thoughts started filling his head again but Jaejoong quickly blocked them out.
Changmin had texted them of his own accord. When he had picked up the phone, Changmin wasn’t yelling at them and telling them to leave him alone. No. Changmin had listened to Jaejoong’s words quietly and that in itself meant Changmin was willing to converse with them again.
Even if it meant that they had to start from the beginning and take things slowly, Jaejoong didn’t mind. As long as Changmin forgave them, as long as Yunho forgave them, then Jaejoong was willing to wait and endure the pain.
Looking at the two younger members on either side of him, one letting his tears fall free while the other tried his best to hold it in, Jaejoong smiled a true smile, one that reached his eyes and wasn’t forced and slid an arm around each of the other two members pulling them close.
“Everything will be okay,” he assured them.
Yoochun and Junsu looked up into Jaejoong’s eyes, hope filling their hearts.
“We are Dong Bang Shin Ki right?” Jaejoong said with a smile.
At that, the other two members broke out into a smile.
“That’s right. We are Dong Bang Shin Ki!” they all said at the same time.
-End-
A/N: Please forgive me for writing something so angsty. This will be my first and probably last time I write angst about the five of them in regards to the lawsuit. This idea actually came to mind while I was on the plane to Hong Kong a few weeks ago D; I ended up spending a part of my vacation writing this
I was bored, tired, had a headache and needed something to distract myself with so naturally I started thinking of fic ideas … idk how I came to think of something so angsty rather than the fluff and romance I normally write :P
Either way, for those of you who have read up to here, thank you for giving this fic a go even though it isn’t exactly a happy piece and I apologize for any tears shed (I know I shed some on the plane and also while writing and proof-reading this). Will love to hear everyone’s feedback and thoughts on this =”] ♥
Author: chocolet89
Pairing: OT5
Rating: PG
Length: One-Shot
Genre: Angst
Summary: Yunho breaks down watching the newly released 3hree Voices II DVD. Changmin is there to comfort him and he soon realizes himself just how much he misses Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu.
A/N: Thank you to my lovely official beta yuutong ^^ thank you so much for helping me beta my fics and putting up with my neverending DBSK fangirl spazzing XD
~
Yunho sat curled up on the couch, knees up to his chest with Bambi tucked securely in between. His eyes never the left the screen, listening to every word uttered. He watched on as Jaejoong bared his feelings to the camera; watched as tears came unbidden to the eyes of the man who never cried.
I want to go back in time to two and a half years ago.
Yunho’s eyes glistened with his own tears as he heard those words. He clutched Bambi even closer to his chest as he watched the man on the screen slowly fall apart. He’d already watched Yoochun and Junsu’s parts on the DVD, their words also echoing in his head.
He heard some noise behind him and looked up to see Changmin stumbling into the kitchen for a late night drink.
Yunho took in the maknae’s appearance. Changmin had matured so much in the past two years. Gone was the young boy who would come shivering and crying into his bed back when they shared a room when he had a nightmare or when he felt insecure about their debut as an idol.
Not really knowing when, Changmin had unconsciously built a barrier around himself, like a wall, masking his emotions and refusing to let anyone in. The young boy that used to tease or laugh at his hyung’s jokes and antics was buried deep inside, hidden behind that wall.
Now a different person stood before him; someone whose face and expressions had hardened over the past few years. The maknae was now an adult, making his own decisions, stepping out into the acting industry on his own, no longer relying on other members of the group for anything.
As Changmin walked back out passing by the living room, he froze when he saw Yunho looking up at him with tear-soaked eyes from the couch.
“C-Changmin,” Yunho whispered, voice breaking off with a sob.
Changmin immediately snapped awake at the tone of the leader’s voice and rushed over to his side, embracing the other man in a hug.
“Hyung, what’s wrong?”
Yunho stayed silent, burying his head into Changmin’s shoulder, and Changmin let him cry, feeling the tears soak into his thin cotton shirt.
Changmin kept one hand around the leader’s waist while running his other hand up and down his back in soothing motions. His attention was drawn away however when he heard a sad melody emit from the TV, a sad acapella from the voice he’d missed so much. He turned his gaze to the screen and watched the man in the screen sway in time to a beat only he could hear.
“I miss him so much Changmin, I miss them all so much,” Yunho whispered breaking Changmin’s focus away from the screen.
Changmin tightened his hold on the older man, wondering silently when their positions had reversed.
It always used to be Changmin who would find his way into the leader’s arms whenever they were alone in their shared room. Back where Changmin would let his emotions fall free, let out all his insecurities about them debuting in a foreign country where they knew only the very basics of the language.
But when everything fell apart, when the other three members were no longer around, and the leader was falling apart, it was up to Changmin to pick up the broken pieces and mend them back together slowly one by one.
Changmin had been there, comforting the leader in the safety of their dorms where there were no reporters, no media, no managers or directors. Slowly their positions had reversed in the hard times and it was Yunho who would crawl into the maknae’s bed at night when he couldn’t sleep because he was in so much pain.
Changmin’s heart had hurt so much to see the man who had always lead them all with a strong heart and mind fall apart in his arms. That was probably around the time when he started to build the barrier around himself, to make himself more stronger so he could protect the man who had always been there for him so many years ago.
He had been there when Yunho fell into depression and he had been there to help Yunho overcome it. He had helped to heal the wounds as best as he could but there were scars he knew that would never fade; scars that were not visible on the outside, scars that only Changmin could see.
As he continued to watch the video on the screen, Changmin could feel the barrier he’d tried so hard to keep up, start to crumble. He listened to the words being said, the emotions that were easily seen. No secrets were kept hidden.
“I miss them too,” Changmin whispered softly, admitting something he’d always kept hidden, refusing to admit. He was surprised when he felt the pad of Yunho’s thumb brush across his left cheek.
It was wet.
When had he started crying? Hadn’t he stopped crying a long time ago? Hadn’t he promised himself that he would not cry anymore when it was decided they would start all over again? More tears fell down his cheeks and Yunho continued to wipe them away for him.
To say Changmin hadn’t felt betrayed was a lie. He had felt it. He had felt betrayal, hurt, anger, pain, sadness. Everything. Weren’t they supposed to be together forever? Why did they have to leave?
“Why?” Changmin whispered, eyelids fluttering shut as Yunho kissed them.
“Didn’t we all say it at one time? TVXQ is not TVXQ without the five of us? So why did they leave? Why are we now standing on stage not as five but as two? Why?”
His feelings for the other three members were, to put it simply, confusing. And he said members because they will always be a part of TVXQ. They were a family. Nothing could change that. He felt pain. But there were two different types of pain. The first pain was for them.
He felt pain and anger when he saw how hard it was for them to just appear on TV in Korea. It hurt him to see them struggling so much when they shouldn’t be.
They were once the most sought out idols in the country. To see them now have to go against so much, it angered and pained him so much to see.
The second pain was at them. It pained him to see them promoting as just three. Without Yunho. Without himself. Hadn’t they agreed to do everything together? Why were they now conquering Asia and America without Yunho and himself? They should be doing this together. It hurt him to see them doing so well without them.
“Why?” Changmin repeated again.
Yunho just stayed silent, having no answer for the maknae. He had asked himself these same questions many times already in the past.
Turning his attention back to the TV screen, Yunho watched as Jaejoong laughed at something the cameraman had said. More tears prickled at his eyes as a bittersweet smile graced his lips. He missed that sound so much. As the camera zoomed in on Jaejoong’s face, Yunho noticed that the happiness didn’t quite reach the older man’s eyes.
---
Later that night, Changmin sat with his back against the headboard of the bed, Yunho curled up against his side. It’d been awhile since they’d last slept together in the same bed. Ever since their return to the stage, Yunho had been so focused on his schedules he didn’t have time to think about anything else. Before that, Changmin had been busy with other things himself such as filming for his drama, Paradise Ranch.
Changmin smiled down at Yunho who had Bambi squished between their bodies. Even after all their years together, some things just never change.
Changmin watched on a little bit longer at the man sleeping beside him, his relaxed features calming Changmin’s mind and soul.
Taking a deep breath, Changmin finally made up his mind.
Reaching into the drawer beside the bed, Changmin dug under all the papers and books he kept there until he reached the bottom. Feeling for the small case he’d kept hidden there, Changmin wrapped his fingers around it and pulled it out.
Taking his phone from the bedside table, Changmin opened it and took out the sim card placing it aside. Opening the small case, Changmin pulled out another sim card, one that he hadn’t touched in a long time.
Slipping it into his phone, Changmin turned it on and waited. He quickly turned it on silent as message after message was received. All of them were from someone called ‘Boo’.
As he opened and read each and every message, tears started forming in his eyes again.
Making up his mind, Changmin quickly typed up a short message:
Boo,
Bambi misses you, and Mouse and Dolphin.
Minnie.
His thumb hovered over the send button and he hesitated for a few seconds. Then he looked down at Yunho’s peaceful face again before firming his resolve and hitting the button.
---
Jaejoong was sitting on his bed reading a book while Yoochun and Junsu were cuddled up on the other bed in their hotel room giggling over something on the TV.
Suddenly the first verse of their song Hug started playing and Jaejoong sat up in surprise. Throwing the book aside, Jaejoong dove for his bag on the floor and started digging through it searching for something.
“Hyung what are you doing?” Junsu asked looking up.
Jaejoong didn’t answer and instead continued tossing wallets, pens and other miscellaneous objects from in his bag aside until he finally dug up a phone from the bottom of his bag. With shaking hands, Jaejoong opened the phone and clicked on the key to read the new message.
When he finished reading, Jaejoong slumped to the floor, phone clutched tightly in his hand. Yoochun frowned and the two younger men made their way to the floor to join Jaejoong, Yoochun taking a seat to the left of him and Junsu taking a seat on the right.
“What is it hyung?” Yoochun asked wrestling the phone out of Jaejoong’s grip. His eyes widened at the message and Junsu quickly snatched the phone out of his hand curious to see what had made the two older members’ eyes widen in surprise.
He gasped at the brief message on the phone before slowly handing it back to Jaejoong.
Jaejoong’s whole body was shaking. He didn’t know whether to cry, laugh, smile or do all at the same time. It’d been so long since someone had contacted him on this number. The last time had been over two years ago. Yet he had made sure to keep it fully charged and turned on every day, just in case. And he was glad he did.
A few minutes later, once his mind had calmed down enough from the joy and excitement, he typed his reply as the other two members huddled around him.
Minnie,
Dolphin, Mouse and Boo miss you and Bambi too.
I love you.
Boo.
---
The phone vibrated in Changmin’s hand shaking him out of his thoughts. Looking down, Changmin stared at the ‘new message’ icon flashing on his phone screen. Biting his lip, Changmin opened the message and waited for it to load.
More tears trailed down his face as he read the message.
Before he could back out of it, Changmin quickly typed up another short message, pressing send as soon as he was done.
I love you too … Bambi does too … always had and always will.
---
As soon as the phone vibrated in his palms Jaejoong quickly opened the new text message, eager to read the reply. He hadn’t been expecting another text so soon, but he definitely wasn’t complaining.
Yoochun and Junsu crowded around him to read the reply both wrapping an arm around Jaejoong’s waist to give him their support. Jaejoong let out a strangled gasp and covered his mouth with a hand.
Tears started to form in his eyes and there was nothing he could do to hold them back. Yoochun's grip on his waist tightened and Jaejoong didn’t need to turn around to see that Yoochun was also in the same condition as he was. Junsu rested his head on Jaejoong’s shoulder, his other hand rubbing Jaejoong’s thigh in a soothing motion.
Jaejoong couldn’t stand it any longer. He didn’t care if people found out. Hovering his thumb over the dial key, he looked at the other two members who both nodded their heads in consent. Jaejoong smiled and hit the dial key.
The other end answered after five rings.
“H-Hello?” Jaejoong asked in a shaky voice.
Silence greeted him. He wasn’t sure who it was that had answered, but he had a feeling it was the maknae.
“Is that you Min?” he whispered.
An intake of breath answered him.
Jaejoong put it on loud speaker and started talking.
“M-Min … I miss you so much. Yunho too, I miss him too. I’m so sorry … so sorry for everything. I never meant for things to be this way. I never meant to hurt the two of you. I really do miss you two so much. And it hurts me every night to know that I caused the both of you to suffer so much. I’m sorry Min, and I really hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I … I love you.”
Jaejoong put a hand up to cover his mouth again as he broke off into a cry. Yoochun and Junsu tightened their hold around the older man, silent tears running down both of their cheeks. They waited for the other end to say something.
---
Changmin listened to the whole confession, biting his lip to keep from crying out. He wanted so much to turn back time, back to where they were still rookies promoting in Korea and Japan, not as two, not as three, but as five, back where there was no lawsuit or anything. Back when their only worries were getting on time to an interview when they slept in.
As Jaejoong finished off, Changmin opened his mouth only to shut it again. There was so much he wanted to say but couldn’t. He wanted to yell at the older man for walking away from him. He wanted to scream at him, asking him why he left, why Yoochun left, why Junsu left. But he couldn’t.
As he heard a muffled sob from the other end, Changmin shut his eyes, hating that things had to be like this.
“I-I love you too,” Changmin finally whispered, voice breaking at the last second. He cut off the phone before they could answer. The phone slipped out of his grasp and he buried his face in his hands, tugging his knees up to his chest.
Soft hands suddenly touched his fingers and Changmin lifted his face up to look into the eyes of the leader. Yunho smiled up at him, eyes shining with tears as he wiped the maknae’s own away.
“Thank you,” Yunho whispered leaning up and this time it was Changmin’s turn to bury his face into Yunho’s shoulders, his tears soaking into the leader’s shirt.
“We’ll come back together again right hyung?” Changmin whispered insecurely.
Yunho’s heart clenched in pain. It’d been so long since Changmin had voiced out anything about coming back together again as five.
The Changmin he knew before the lawsuit was back.
“Yes of course we will Minnie. We were never separated in the first place. We are Dong Bang Shin Ki right? Only when the five of us are together are we called Dong Bang Shin Ki - didn’t you say that once?” the leader replied with a smile.
“Ne,” Changmin mumbled into Yunho’s shirt.
“Don’t worry, everything will be okay,” Yunho whispered, wrapping his arms around the younger member.
Changmin just stayed silent, releasing all those tears he’d refused to let out since as long as he could remember.
That’s right. Only when the five of us are together are we called Dong Bang Shin Ki. We were never separated in the first place. Please come back soon.
---
“Minnie …” Jaejoong breathed out as the call disconnected. The phone once again fell limply from his hand as he tried to gather up his thoughts and emotions.
“Minnie,” he repeated again, this time brokenly and the two younger members beside him quickly embraced him in a hug.
“D-Does this mean he doesn’t hate us?” Jaejoong whispered quietly.
Yoochun opened his mouth to reply but no words came out. Tears were trailing down his face and he closed his mouth again to swallow the lump in his throat.
Junsu decided to take over and, keeping one arm around Jaejoong’s waist, reached his other hand out to link his fingers with Yoochun’s.
“He never hated us hyung,” Junsu replied, a smile slowly appearing on his face even as his eyes blurred with tears.
Jaejoong’s eyes flickered to the phone lying in front of him and he had the sudden urge to grab it and press the redial key. There was so much he wanted to ask. Why hadn’t they called for so long? Why now? How were they dealing with the comeback? All these questions he wanted to ask but he knew that the maknae needed time.
Even though they’d been separated for so long, Jaejoong never forgot how to deal with the maknae’s tantrums and behaviours. If he called now, there was a high possibility that Changmin wouldn’t pick up. Insecure thoughts started filling his head again but Jaejoong quickly blocked them out.
Changmin had texted them of his own accord. When he had picked up the phone, Changmin wasn’t yelling at them and telling them to leave him alone. No. Changmin had listened to Jaejoong’s words quietly and that in itself meant Changmin was willing to converse with them again.
Even if it meant that they had to start from the beginning and take things slowly, Jaejoong didn’t mind. As long as Changmin forgave them, as long as Yunho forgave them, then Jaejoong was willing to wait and endure the pain.
Looking at the two younger members on either side of him, one letting his tears fall free while the other tried his best to hold it in, Jaejoong smiled a true smile, one that reached his eyes and wasn’t forced and slid an arm around each of the other two members pulling them close.
“Everything will be okay,” he assured them.
Yoochun and Junsu looked up into Jaejoong’s eyes, hope filling their hearts.
“We are Dong Bang Shin Ki right?” Jaejoong said with a smile.
At that, the other two members broke out into a smile.
“That’s right. We are Dong Bang Shin Ki!” they all said at the same time.
-End-
A/N: Please forgive me for writing something so angsty. This will be my first and probably last time I write angst about the five of them in regards to the lawsuit. This idea actually came to mind while I was on the plane to Hong Kong a few weeks ago D; I ended up spending a part of my vacation writing this
I was bored, tired, had a headache and needed something to distract myself with so naturally I started thinking of fic ideas … idk how I came to think of something so angsty rather than the fluff and romance I normally write :P
Either way, for those of you who have read up to here, thank you for giving this fic a go even though it isn’t exactly a happy piece and I apologize for any tears shed (I know I shed some on the plane and also while writing and proof-reading this). Will love to hear everyone’s feedback and thoughts on this =”] ♥