that was all shit Salem left behind when he was sixteen, thanks and go fuck yourself
Oh, lol I love the way you write Salem.
I don't know why you didn't type this up to begin with, it's not terrible at all. The action at the start's a little muddled and confusing - which is a pretty sharp contrast to the way you usually write action scenes, e.g. your MacMillan/Price fic - but the sequence of events is easy enough to follow, and also, hilarious. Which is to say it's srs bsns, about issues. Important issues. Like gold-plated, tiger-striped Deagles.
From a technical standpoint, it's also fine: perspectives are clear, as is dialogue without any he said/he said. And minus a few typos, very clean.
Well you know full well I wrote this on the happy drugs, so there's a lot of vital connections between images and connotations that get skipped as a result. It's not my best shit, suffice it to say. But it's a pretty good base for the rest of my headcanons, and it accomplishes what I wanted to in the way of establishing critical themes with these two.
In terms of how much we've levelled up in our depiction of military protocols, this is pretty laughable. I really should have gone back and given it a heavy edit, but I'm not all that invested in it anymore.
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Oh, lol I love the way you write Salem.
I don't know why you didn't type this up to begin with, it's not terrible at all. The action at the start's a little muddled and confusing - which is a pretty sharp contrast to the way you usually write action scenes, e.g. your MacMillan/Price fic - but the sequence of events is easy enough to follow, and also, hilarious. Which is to say it's srs bsns, about issues. Important issues. Like gold-plated, tiger-striped Deagles.
From a technical standpoint, it's also fine: perspectives are clear, as is dialogue without any he said/he said. And minus a few typos, very clean.
Lol papa bear's got you bro.
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In terms of how much we've levelled up in our depiction of military protocols, this is pretty laughable. I really should have gone back and given it a heavy edit, but I'm not all that invested in it anymore.
blame it on the dat dere cowwa doody
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Oh no Niall has lost respect for me forever, noooo
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