>.
Guys, I'm such a terrible person, honestly. How could someone be as heartless as to go out with someone for TWO DAYS? And break up with him over Facebook? Shit, this goes against every single rule I've set for myself when it comes to relationships. The moment he asked me out, I had this tsunami of doubt wash over me, and I talked to Katherine, and she said it didn't have to be serious to be fun. So I'm like "Okay, serious relationships are much too high/low for me, so I'll just say yes" but it wasn't the seriousness of it that made me think this was a mistake. In essence, we were having a facebook relationship. He'd call me cute and stuff on FB, but in real life? He's a rock! Well, not that bad, but...yeah.. Whenever I see him from afar, or think of him, I'd think "Yeah, let's try this", but once I got to actual contact with him, it just wouldn't work at all. I think the problem was that I thought I could do a relationship with Chat Sangwoo, not In Person Sangwoo, because in person, we're not compatible. Bubz always said to go out with a guy that brings out the best in you, and did he bring out the best in me? He brought out the side of me that usually surfaces when I talk to someone for the first time, that side where I'm just feeling enough security from a person to act as retarded as I usually do.
Imma show you a few chats:
7:02 PM me: ann, my brain really hurts and I need your help XD
Sometimes, when I think of Sangwoo, I get a tad jumpy
7:03 PM when I'd go to the electronics lab to see him after iron chef, I'd sometimes get butterflies
when I saw him in the woods room talking to jimmy, jasson, christian, and them, and the door was locked, I almost had the mind to stamp it down
7:04 PM sometimes, I look at him, and go "What if...what if we went out? We'd be Flute Player Couple, he'd teach me korean and chess and we might have fun" and then things are like... normal
but sometimes, I feel the EXACT same way I felt a week before I broke up with Alex
Burdened
He likes me SO much more than I like him When I asked him how long he liked me for, he said "Forever"
7:05 PM and I just feel this weight and I think that yeah, I could do just fine without him it wouldn't change anything with me
But then even MORE burdenedness is
what about HIM? I know what it's like to get dumped
but within a DAY? LESS?
When he's liked me for so long?
I don't know >.<
and I want this desicion to take as short and possible, or else I'm wasting both out time
I want a carefree summer, I don't need burdens
Ann: well to tell the truth
aren't you guys already in a relationship?:P
me: Yeah
Ann: i'm confuusedd
OH
thennn do you feel comfortable with the phrase "Andrea is dating Sangwoo because they're in love."
me: not the in love
I feel like I don't want my name associated with someone else's >.<
Ann: how about "Andrea and Sangwoo are dating because they both like each other as crushes mutually?"
me: that too
same answer as before XD
Ann: Do you really like him?
or not really?
me: 50/50
I feel so bad right now and that's what makes me doubt it
Ann: as in half like him
half not
7:09 PM ?
me: yeah
Ahhh, I'm not in the mood for more drama, I feel terrible. Reminds me of when I was talking about how guys can be super loyal and whatever with Henry in French, and he was like "What, you want a guy to like you like that?" and I'm like "NO WAY, I'd leave him if he did, he'd have to suck it up", and now, that's basically what's happening.
Yenno, I do think he's kinda cute though. But no actual feelings. Shit, I'm so stupid...
Imma show you a few chats:
7:02 PM me: ann, my brain really hurts and I need your help XD
Sometimes, when I think of Sangwoo, I get a tad jumpy
7:03 PM when I'd go to the electronics lab to see him after iron chef, I'd sometimes get butterflies
when I saw him in the woods room talking to jimmy, jasson, christian, and them, and the door was locked, I almost had the mind to stamp it down
7:04 PM sometimes, I look at him, and go "What if...what if we went out? We'd be Flute Player Couple, he'd teach me korean and chess and we might have fun" and then things are like... normal
but sometimes, I feel the EXACT same way I felt a week before I broke up with Alex
Burdened
He likes me SO much more than I like him When I asked him how long he liked me for, he said "Forever"
7:05 PM and I just feel this weight and I think that yeah, I could do just fine without him it wouldn't change anything with me
But then even MORE burdenedness is
what about HIM? I know what it's like to get dumped
but within a DAY? LESS?
When he's liked me for so long?
I don't know >.<
and I want this desicion to take as short and possible, or else I'm wasting both out time
I want a carefree summer, I don't need burdens
Ann: well to tell the truth
aren't you guys already in a relationship?:P
me: Yeah
Ann: i'm confuusedd
OH
thennn do you feel comfortable with the phrase "Andrea is dating Sangwoo because they're in love."
me: not the in love
I feel like I don't want my name associated with someone else's >.<
Ann: how about "Andrea and Sangwoo are dating because they both like each other as crushes mutually?"
me: that too
same answer as before XD
Ann: Do you really like him?
or not really?
me: 50/50
I feel so bad right now and that's what makes me doubt it
Ann: as in half like him
half not
7:09 PM ?
me: yeah
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Sneha Anchan HAHAHAHA YOU DUMPED HIM!??!?!??!!!-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Edith Anne ...yeah i took your advice XD -
Sneha Anchan haha I'm glad to hear it-
what did you say to him??
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Edith Anne -
hey sangwoo,-
maybe this relationship won't quite work out... cause I don't think we're close enough, and we know enough about each other to be able to go out yet and maybe in the future, once we know each other better, we can see if going out is an option, but right now, I don't think it's right just yet I'm really really really really sorry this only lasted two days and I feel like the hugest jerk, because you're a great guy and you don't deserve this, but you really deserve a girl better than me and you're definitely going to find her in the future, so just relax, and have a great summer okay? don't let me get in your way I'm really sorry about this Take care ~Akira
Sang Woo Kang Why I'm sorry about that ㅠ.ㅠ ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
Please :(((( Don't say like that ㅠㅠㅠ
Edith Anne I'm really sorry can you forgive me?
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Edith Anne ugh, i was being MUCH too irrational about this -
Edith Anne Sangwoo:-
It ok I'm sorry too Let just do good frand
Me: of course! of course, sangwoo, we'll be good friends XD
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Sneha Anchan awww he seems really sad
but it's better this way!! you did the right thing -
Edith Anne I know, I'm glad you beat some sense into me XD cause the moment I said yes, I just kept DOUBTING that it'll work out -
Sneha Anchan lol i didn't know if it worked!! i'm glad you were smart enough to think about it -
Edith Anne and then i told one of my friends, and she was like "you don't seem HAPPY"-
yeah, granny sneha saved the day!
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Sneha Anchan so i wasn't the only one who told you!!! -
dith Anne yeah, you weren't XD -
Sneha Anchan well sometimes your friends just know what's best for you. when you find the right guy, you'll know it and you won't feel ANY doubt about it -
Edith Anne erg, i feel super bad for him though... -
Sneha Anchan i'm sure sangwoo is a nice guy but maybe as a friend, right? -
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yeah, just as a friend -
cause today was so awkward and so bad...
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6 hours agoSneha Anchan-
what happened today? -
did you even see him after you guys got together?
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6 hours agoEdith Anne-
yeah, I did -
he didn't say ANYTHING -
he's a ROCK in person! -
but on chat he's a -
facebook flirt -
in essence, we'd have a facebook relationship if this continued
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6 hours agoSneha Anchan-
uhhh -
that's NOT good.... -
that just like having a long distance relationship
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and communication is important in real life too
is it just cuz he doesn't know english very well?
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6 hours agoEdith Anne-
that, and he's like, the GOD of shyness -
apparently he's liked me for a long time, btu we hardly talked before...
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6 hours agoSneha Anchan-
really?? wow... -
well sometimes, things just aren't meant to be -
don't worry about it -
he'll probably find some nice korean girl who speaks his language lol -
and you'll marry JOSEPH!! YAY!!
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jk
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6 hours agoEdith Anne-
omg NOOO -
NOT JOSEPH!!!
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Ahhh, I'm not in the mood for more drama, I feel terrible. Reminds me of when I was talking about how guys can be super loyal and whatever with Henry in French, and he was like "What, you want a guy to like you like that?" and I'm like "NO WAY, I'd leave him if he did, he'd have to suck it up", and now, that's basically what's happening.
Yenno, I do think he's kinda cute though. But no actual feelings. Shit, I'm so stupid...