fic: Dude, You're Huge! (24/?)
Title: Dude, You're Huge
Part: 24/?
Author: chordykins
Spoilers: entire of season two
Summary: In the hospital, Sam struggles to deal with everything he's done.
Pairing: Finn/Sam, Sam/Puck
Rating: R
Words: 1,622
It was a while before Puck and Finn stopped arguing. Each time they were reprimanded they calmed down for less than 5 minutes before starting up again. Sam didn’t see them again but he heard everything, every angry expletive uttered from both mouths. The nurse wouldn’t let him get up so he had no choice but to sit there and listen to what he started.
Sam didn’t fall asleep until the fighting stopped; even then it took him a little while to ignore the worrying running through his mind. He assumed they both must’ve left but when he woke up to meet Puck’s concerned stare.
“You stayed?” Sam questioned, slowly pulling up his body into a sitting position. His ribs were the things that hurt the most so even basic movement hurt him.
Puck didn’t answer right away, at least not with words because the concerned look on his face said it all, he just continued to stare a little, sitting up a little higher as Sam winced due to the pain. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Puck admitted, sighing as he shook his head. “I don’t know, Sam, I was just trying to do the right thing. For once.”
“You’ve done nothing wrong.” Sam couldn’t tell why Puck would feel guilty, he wasn’t the one who cheated on a boyfriend and wrongly pushed someone out of the closet. “That’s me remember?”
“Yeah, well, I helped.”
Sam couldn’t argue with that yet he knew Puck didn’t deserve to be blamed. He wasn’t the one who initiated the sex, Sam pushed him into it and unknowingly toyed with whatever feelings Puck had for him, he was just another thing to get ruined.
“Sam, why did you sleep with me?” Puck asked, wanting to know the full extent of Sam’s feelings for him or lack there of.
The blonde had no idea how to answer it because he didn’t even know himself. “Puck, I didn’t know, I had no idea that you…”
“So you just thought I’d be your one night stand? You think that low of me?” Puck questioned. “I mean you clearly had no intention of sticking around.”
“No, no, it’s not that. I don’t know, it’s confusing, I don’t understand what I was thinking - or feeling.” Sam truly couldn’t comprehend his reasoning for sleeping with Puck.
Puck stood up but he didn’t leave, but he also wasn’t looking at Sam anymore. “But you regret it,” He started. “… Because of Finn?”
“Yes.” Sam moved to get up and slowly but surely, though the pain was killing him, he managed to stand. “But I never meant to do that do you, walk out on you.” He didn’t. As soon as he saw Puck’s face, sitting there on the bed where they slept together, the desperation, he never wanted that.
“Yeah, well, you did.”
“Puck…” Sam pleaded, placing a timid hand onto the boy’s shoulder.
Puck shrugged off Sam’s touch, turning to open to door. “I’m sorry for what happened to you, Sam, but I can’t stay here.” And then he left, shutting the door behind him, leaving Sam in the room alone.
Sam turned away from the closing door and slowly limped back to his bed where he sat in silence. He wasn’t going to cry, he felt like he’d done enough of that this year, but he was on the edge of completely breaking down. He thought he had lost everything when he lost his parents, but now he really had nothing. No friends, no family, no home, just a lot of bruises. He only had himself to blame and Sam knew there was no fixing it this time. Finn wouldn’t forgive him, Karofsky’s life was ruined, he messed Puck up even more; everything was gone and Sam felt the world would be better of without him ruining everything everywhere he went.
Before he knew it, Sam was leaving his room and limping to the elevator. No one seemed to notice, thankfully. He thought it would be easier to get to the roof but apparently he had to walk most of the way and his body was ready to give way.
Sam didn’t realize it was raining but once he got outside and let his body soak completely through he didn’t care. It wasn’t until he got to the edge that he noticed how high the building. Hew could see all the people below running, trying to get out of the rain, ambulances coming in and out of the car park. He just watched them going on with their business, the odd few couples in the street. It seemed so simply from up high, like there was nothing wrong and yet Sam knew he couldn’t have that simplicity anymore because even if everything gets better he’ll still have to deal with everything he did and that won’t go away.
He was doing everyone a favor by removing himself from the situation. Finn could move on and find someone who won’t mess with his feelings. Puck would get over his feelings eventually; maybe even find someone for himself. Sam couldn’t move on from this.
Once he managed to collect his courage, make an effort to climb over the short ledge and sitting for a moment. He wasn’t sure why, he knew he was going to do it, he wanted to, needed to even, but he stopped and sat for a few minutes. A part of him wanted someone to stop him, he wanted someone to think he was worthy of carrying on. Sam knew there was no one to do this but he just hoped for a moment.
“Sam, stop.”
Sam couldn’t tell who, the rain was too loud, but it was definitely a boy. He didn’t want to turn to them because as soon as he looked at whoever it was he knew it would stop him.
“Please, don’t do this.”
It was Puck, Sam could tell now. Puck came back for him and it made no sense. As soon as he felt Puck’s hand on his back, the slightly warm sinking into his wet skin, he turned to the boy. “I’ve ruined everything.”
Puck didn’t speak straight away, he just moved Sam’s wet hair out of his face and smiled. “Come down, Sam, please.”
Sam didn’t have much of a choice when Puck carefully picked him up slightly and pulled him from the ledge before setting him down again. Puck guides Sam back to the door and inside. It took them a while to get back down to Sam’s room where the nurses were frantically waiting for him - but that’s not all.
Her voice was so unfamiliar to him now but as soon as he heard it, everything went worse almost. His mom stood at the door of his room, panicking at the sight of him dripped wet and shivering.
“Sam, what happened?”
“It’s raining.” Sam answered, a little in shock of her even being anywhere near him let along some actual concern.
The nurse sat him down on the bed and started checking him for something, Sam wasn’t sure what because all he focused on was Puck who stayed but backed off a little at the presence of Sam’s mom.
Sam was made to change and get back into his bed immediately. His mom didn’t speak much, just cautiously sat in the room. Though she did explain that she left Sam’s father, and that she was sorry for abandoning Sam but he could barely focus on anything due to the amount of drugs that newly entered his system. So as soon as his damp head touched the pillow, as soon as he felt Puck’s hand on his and the slight stroke of his thumb, Sam fell asleep almost instantly. Between the drugs and everything else, Sam could sleep for a week.
Sam didn’t wake up until the next day. Puck had left, but left word that he would come back, leaving Sam with his worrying mother who was newly informed of why Sam was dripping wet the night before. Sam couldn’t get angry that Puck told her, he was probably just as worried as she was, but Sam didn’t know what his mother had in mind and as soon as she explained to him that there was a facility in New York that specialized with suicide patients Sam almost wished he did jump.
Even though Sam didn’t like the idea of running away and being kept in a facility for 6 months with no contact with anyone, he was considering it. Things with him hadn’t been right since the accident with the truck, and last night wasn’t the first time he considered killing himself - though it was the first time he actually attempted to do it. As much as it pained him to admit it, his mom was probably right to send him away to get help. Sam can’t move on from this without the help, and although Puck seemed to be there for him he was no psychiatrist
It took him a while but Sam made the solitary decision to go along with his mother’s plan. It was the only way Sam could move on from of his problems without being a danger to himself and everyone else. Sure, Puck talked him down from the ledge but what if Puck’s not there next time Sam loses it - what if no one if there and he does it, he kills himself. He needed help, and he was willingly to get it - even if it meant leaving everyone behind. He just had to figure out how to tell Finn and Puck. But then he had to figure out how to get Finn to speak to him first.
Part: 24/?
Author: chordykins
Spoilers: entire of season two
Summary: In the hospital, Sam struggles to deal with everything he's done.
Pairing: Finn/Sam, Sam/Puck
Rating: R
Words: 1,622
It was a while before Puck and Finn stopped arguing. Each time they were reprimanded they calmed down for less than 5 minutes before starting up again. Sam didn’t see them again but he heard everything, every angry expletive uttered from both mouths. The nurse wouldn’t let him get up so he had no choice but to sit there and listen to what he started.
Sam didn’t fall asleep until the fighting stopped; even then it took him a little while to ignore the worrying running through his mind. He assumed they both must’ve left but when he woke up to meet Puck’s concerned stare.
“You stayed?” Sam questioned, slowly pulling up his body into a sitting position. His ribs were the things that hurt the most so even basic movement hurt him.
Puck didn’t answer right away, at least not with words because the concerned look on his face said it all, he just continued to stare a little, sitting up a little higher as Sam winced due to the pain. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Puck admitted, sighing as he shook his head. “I don’t know, Sam, I was just trying to do the right thing. For once.”
“You’ve done nothing wrong.” Sam couldn’t tell why Puck would feel guilty, he wasn’t the one who cheated on a boyfriend and wrongly pushed someone out of the closet. “That’s me remember?”
“Yeah, well, I helped.”
Sam couldn’t argue with that yet he knew Puck didn’t deserve to be blamed. He wasn’t the one who initiated the sex, Sam pushed him into it and unknowingly toyed with whatever feelings Puck had for him, he was just another thing to get ruined.
“Sam, why did you sleep with me?” Puck asked, wanting to know the full extent of Sam’s feelings for him or lack there of.
The blonde had no idea how to answer it because he didn’t even know himself. “Puck, I didn’t know, I had no idea that you…”
“So you just thought I’d be your one night stand? You think that low of me?” Puck questioned. “I mean you clearly had no intention of sticking around.”
“No, no, it’s not that. I don’t know, it’s confusing, I don’t understand what I was thinking - or feeling.” Sam truly couldn’t comprehend his reasoning for sleeping with Puck.
Puck stood up but he didn’t leave, but he also wasn’t looking at Sam anymore. “But you regret it,” He started. “… Because of Finn?”
“Yes.” Sam moved to get up and slowly but surely, though the pain was killing him, he managed to stand. “But I never meant to do that do you, walk out on you.” He didn’t. As soon as he saw Puck’s face, sitting there on the bed where they slept together, the desperation, he never wanted that.
“Yeah, well, you did.”
“Puck…” Sam pleaded, placing a timid hand onto the boy’s shoulder.
Puck shrugged off Sam’s touch, turning to open to door. “I’m sorry for what happened to you, Sam, but I can’t stay here.” And then he left, shutting the door behind him, leaving Sam in the room alone.
Sam turned away from the closing door and slowly limped back to his bed where he sat in silence. He wasn’t going to cry, he felt like he’d done enough of that this year, but he was on the edge of completely breaking down. He thought he had lost everything when he lost his parents, but now he really had nothing. No friends, no family, no home, just a lot of bruises. He only had himself to blame and Sam knew there was no fixing it this time. Finn wouldn’t forgive him, Karofsky’s life was ruined, he messed Puck up even more; everything was gone and Sam felt the world would be better of without him ruining everything everywhere he went.
Before he knew it, Sam was leaving his room and limping to the elevator. No one seemed to notice, thankfully. He thought it would be easier to get to the roof but apparently he had to walk most of the way and his body was ready to give way.
Sam didn’t realize it was raining but once he got outside and let his body soak completely through he didn’t care. It wasn’t until he got to the edge that he noticed how high the building. Hew could see all the people below running, trying to get out of the rain, ambulances coming in and out of the car park. He just watched them going on with their business, the odd few couples in the street. It seemed so simply from up high, like there was nothing wrong and yet Sam knew he couldn’t have that simplicity anymore because even if everything gets better he’ll still have to deal with everything he did and that won’t go away.
He was doing everyone a favor by removing himself from the situation. Finn could move on and find someone who won’t mess with his feelings. Puck would get over his feelings eventually; maybe even find someone for himself. Sam couldn’t move on from this.
Once he managed to collect his courage, make an effort to climb over the short ledge and sitting for a moment. He wasn’t sure why, he knew he was going to do it, he wanted to, needed to even, but he stopped and sat for a few minutes. A part of him wanted someone to stop him, he wanted someone to think he was worthy of carrying on. Sam knew there was no one to do this but he just hoped for a moment.
“Sam, stop.”
Sam couldn’t tell who, the rain was too loud, but it was definitely a boy. He didn’t want to turn to them because as soon as he looked at whoever it was he knew it would stop him.
“Please, don’t do this.”
It was Puck, Sam could tell now. Puck came back for him and it made no sense. As soon as he felt Puck’s hand on his back, the slightly warm sinking into his wet skin, he turned to the boy. “I’ve ruined everything.”
Puck didn’t speak straight away, he just moved Sam’s wet hair out of his face and smiled. “Come down, Sam, please.”
Sam didn’t have much of a choice when Puck carefully picked him up slightly and pulled him from the ledge before setting him down again. Puck guides Sam back to the door and inside. It took them a while to get back down to Sam’s room where the nurses were frantically waiting for him - but that’s not all.
Her voice was so unfamiliar to him now but as soon as he heard it, everything went worse almost. His mom stood at the door of his room, panicking at the sight of him dripped wet and shivering.
“Sam, what happened?”
“It’s raining.” Sam answered, a little in shock of her even being anywhere near him let along some actual concern.
The nurse sat him down on the bed and started checking him for something, Sam wasn’t sure what because all he focused on was Puck who stayed but backed off a little at the presence of Sam’s mom.
Sam was made to change and get back into his bed immediately. His mom didn’t speak much, just cautiously sat in the room. Though she did explain that she left Sam’s father, and that she was sorry for abandoning Sam but he could barely focus on anything due to the amount of drugs that newly entered his system. So as soon as his damp head touched the pillow, as soon as he felt Puck’s hand on his and the slight stroke of his thumb, Sam fell asleep almost instantly. Between the drugs and everything else, Sam could sleep for a week.
Sam didn’t wake up until the next day. Puck had left, but left word that he would come back, leaving Sam with his worrying mother who was newly informed of why Sam was dripping wet the night before. Sam couldn’t get angry that Puck told her, he was probably just as worried as she was, but Sam didn’t know what his mother had in mind and as soon as she explained to him that there was a facility in New York that specialized with suicide patients Sam almost wished he did jump.
Even though Sam didn’t like the idea of running away and being kept in a facility for 6 months with no contact with anyone, he was considering it. Things with him hadn’t been right since the accident with the truck, and last night wasn’t the first time he considered killing himself - though it was the first time he actually attempted to do it. As much as it pained him to admit it, his mom was probably right to send him away to get help. Sam can’t move on from this without the help, and although Puck seemed to be there for him he was no psychiatrist
It took him a while but Sam made the solitary decision to go along with his mother’s plan. It was the only way Sam could move on from of his problems without being a danger to himself and everyone else. Sure, Puck talked him down from the ledge but what if Puck’s not there next time Sam loses it - what if no one if there and he does it, he kills himself. He needed help, and he was willingly to get it - even if it meant leaving everyone behind. He just had to figure out how to tell Finn and Puck. But then he had to figure out how to get Finn to speak to him first.