Pride Goeth Before You Fall - Part 1 (of 6)
Summary: “You find who you love, and then you make the absolute best you can of it. However long it lasts, ain’t no one who’s experienced it can say it wasn’t worth it.”
Rating: R for some sexual situations
Pairing: Mal/Kaylee, brief Kaylee/Simon
Spoilers/Timeline: post-BDM (spoilers for the movie
Disclaimer: What Joss creates, I worship. This is my little offering to the Whedon shrine. I don’t own the ‘verse or anyone in it.
Author’s Thanks: A huge thank you to my beta, earthwhatwere for all her guidance and suggestions. The help she provided was invaluable.
~*~
Simon’s hands were large, strong and incredibly soft. Those hands lifted Kaylee’s shirt over her head and traveled in a firm touch down her back to settle comfortably at her waist. The heat created where the doctor’s palms met her skin made the rest of her burn. The engine room, whirring and humming around them as the ship hit atmo, made the temperature in the room rise a few more degrees as the engine worked extra hard to get Serenity flying faster. He moved his hands to the back of her bra and Kaylee briefly fantasized about what those - precise, healing, talented hands - could do to her. She brought her own rough, grease-stained hands up to grip Simon's strong shoulders, his shirt long since lost to the far side of the engine room. They both begin to sweat with the heat and the effort of their foreplay.
Their coupling was intense and fiery - the result of months of built-up sexual frustration and longing finally set free. Their kisses were long, exploratory and full of want. Simon held her body as close to his as possible and she savored his possessive grip on her body. Kaylee battled her conflicting desire to continue their lovemaking forever and her need to have him fill her right the hell now. If anyone chanced upon them during their tryst, they didn’t notice. Their sense of touch heightened so much as to drown out all of their other senses.
Now, Kaylee hadn’t been remotely virginal since she was 14, when she’d let the neighbor’s boy go “exploring” with her in the woods behind her house. But this--the things Simon's hands were doing--made her blush and tremble like was her first time all over again. Except, thank goodness, without the awkward fumbling and quick finish.
For his part, the good doctor certainly wasn’t shy about sex when it came to actually doing it. He delighted in eliciting pleasurable reactions from her body: a shiver, a moan, an inadvertent thrust of her hips. At a certain point - it was probably when Kaylee turned her lips to his ear and whispered “now, Simon. No more waitin’” - their kisses became more frantic, their touching more frenzied. They were both naked without remembering exactly how they’d gotten that way and on the floor of the engine room atop all of their discarded garments. Once they settled on a tempo they left the rest up to their instincts.
When they’d finished, both spent and breathing hard, Simon held her close, looked directly into her eyes and gave her one last kiss. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it and swallowed thickly instead. After a few seconds, he managed a husky “Wo hen hao, meili.” Kaylee gave him a look that told him that she understood the depth of feeling that lay behind his words. After a time, they got up quietly, redressed (though Simon never could find his shirt) and made their way, hand-in-hand, to the confines of Kaylee’s bunk. They spent the rest of the night conducting their affairs in a more…private arena.
~*~
Nothing in their relationship ever compared to that first night they spent together. That fulfillment both were hoping to feel after their coupling never came. Kaylee realized it first, but the part of her heart that yearned for love and companionship refused to let her acknowledge it. When you got right down to it, they were polar opposites. What drew the two of them together was an attraction to the unknown; a desire to know what it felt like to be something completely different than what they were. The pull was strong, but after the initial sparks flew and faded there was nothing substantial left on which to build a relationship. That didn’t stop them, however, from stubbornly trying for months to do just that. Especially now, watching Zoe haunted and drifting without Wash and feeling the weight of sadness and emptiness that permeated the entire ship, it was better to have someone than no one at all.
Eventually, though, Kaylee realized that she wasn’t getting any happier being with Simon. He was a true gentleman; he chose her, so he stood by her and loved her even though there was no real connection between them. He would never be the one to end it, to let her go. But it clearly hurt him, going through the motions of a loving relationship, just like it was hurting her. Finally, four months after their tryst in the engine room, she screwed up her courage and went to find him in the infirmary.
Simon had just finished his daily monitoring of River and was returning the room to its usual spotless condition. He stopped putting things away when he heard her enter behind him. Kaylee shut the door behind her before she began to speak.
~*~
The conversation was brief but difficult to get through. Mal could tell that much through the glass. He hadn’t meant to bear witness to this; he’d been loading crates into one of the hideaway spaces when Kaylee walked past him on her way to the infirmary. The defeated, determined look on her face and the careful way she was carrying herself told him exactly what she was about to finally do. He’d seen it coming; everyone could feel that things weren’t exactly working out as planned between the two of them.
Mal watched them try to make each other happy for months, watched it never quite click properly. The bewildered despair he saw on little Kaylee’s face when she thought no one was looking pained his heart. But it wasn’t his place to comment. Everybody learns eventually, and as he watched Kaylee place her hand on Simon’s and bow her head to hide the tears, he knew she finally had.
She left the doctor leaning with both hands on the infirmary counter staring sightlessly at his medical supplies. Mal turned his attention back to his original task before she could see him watching. As she passed, he straightened up from storing creates of some manner of illegal material in the hideaway space. The captain pretended not to notice as she quickly brushed both hands across her eyes before looking at him.
“Hey little Kaylee. Got a job we could use your help on day after tomorrow. Chance to get off the ship and go planetside for an afternoon.” He gave her his ‘I’m not asking, I’m telling’ face to make sure he was clear. It was wasted; Kaylee didn’t glance up at him at all.
“Sure Cap’n. Shiny.” Before she was done replying she’d already turned to leave. Mal heard no trace of enthusiasm, just the resigned tone of crew following orders, but it would do for now.
~*~
The next morning Zoe, Jayne and Kaylee stood in the cargo bay with the crates of stolen Alliance foodstuffs and waited for Mal to lay out the plan. River lay face down on the catwalk above the cargo bay above them, letting her hair dangle over the edge.
Mal didn’t even wait until he’d entered the cargo bay before he started giving orders. “Listen up, everyone. Paquin ain’t exactly a fancy place, but it’s civilized enough and we don’t have to worry ‘bout the Alliance mucking up our affairs. All the same, we got a job back on Beaumonde that I’d rather attend to sooner than later. So let’s do our business here quick-like and be ready to shove off by nightfall, dong ma?”
“Uh, Cap’n?” Kaylee questioned. “I know why Zoe and Jayne are comin’ with you on this one, but what exactly you need me for?”
“We got that list you made of stuff needs picking up.” He replied matter-of-factly.
Kaylee looked slightly confused. “Well yeah, but you told me most o’ that stuff’d have to wait until Beaumonde.”
“Changed my mind. I’m the captain. I can do that.” Mal countered. “And you going out with us to handle it all saves us the time of doin’ it after the job’s finished. You know what Serenity needs better’n we do anyway.”
“Hâo ba, Cap’n.” She agreed.
“She ain’t comin, is she?” Jayne gestured upward to where River lay completely motionless.
Following his gaze, Kaylee called out kindly, “River, you stay here with ‘Nara and Simon. We got this job taken care of okay.”
River never moved, but her words reached them clearly. “Wasn’t listening. Don’t care.”
Hiding a smile, Kaylee shouldered a large empty sack and followed Jayne and Zoe off the boat and into Paquin City. Mal tossed a searching look into the empty cargo bay and then back at a departing Kaylee before heading out himself.
~*~
The job was simple enough. Zoe and Mal exchanged goods for payment while Jayne kept watch in case someone decided to try and wander into the middle of their disreputable dealings. Mal always hoped all jobs would go as smooth as this; they even came away with the promise of more work the next time they flew within wave distance.
The dealings did take a bit longer than expected, however. Letting Jayne guide them to the drop point turned out to be a lapse in judgment Mal would be sure never to make again. He really had to stop thinking that Jayne was good for more than an imposing look, a good shot and bedding women.
By the time the three of them approached town again, it was well past sunset. The sight that greeted them when they hit the main street of Paquin City wasn’t the pleasant sereneness of a town winding down for the night. Instead, what they saw was actually a bit panic-inducing.
Townspeople were scattering, leaving their carts and goods behind and fleeing indoors. Some were wailing as they ran, others wore a look of frozen terror as they blindly stumbled for safety. Zoe, forced to stop their transport, drew her rifle and panned the fleeing crowd for the source of the panic. Mal searched the mess of people and grabbed the closest one by the collar as he attempted to run past.
“What the gan tsao is going on around here?” he demanded of the youth he’d detained. Fear had stolen the boy’s voice. Mal gave him a stern shake. “Answer me, gorramnit!”
“They say we got R-R-Reavers coming. Everyone’s runnin’ for underground cover.” Twisting himself free from Mal’s stunned grasp, the boy continued running up the street and disappeared into an herb shop.
“Goushi!” Mal swore as he turned to a stricken-looking Zoe and Jayne. “You two take the mule and go back to the ship. Right now. I’ll find Kaylee.” The two of them nodded and continued driving down the street at a far quicker pace than before.
“Sir!” Zoe called back to him as they drove away.
“Tell River I won’t be long!” He yelled after her.
After they disappeared down the now-empty street, Mal looked around wildly for any sign of Kaylee. Finding nothing, he approached the nearest establishment, intending to go door-to-door until he found his mechanic. He kicked his way into a pawnshop but found it completely deserted. The clothing store next door bore the same result. Door after door and all he found were empty establishments, abandoned in a hurry. He swore to himself, doing his best to shrug off the grip of fear that was trying to do a number on his heart.
“I swear Kaywinnet Lee Frye that when I find you I ain’t never letting you off my gorram boat ever again. Not even if you cry and give me that look o’ yours that resembles a kicked puppy. I’m gonna lock you…” Mal trailed off as he pushed into the local tavern. Kaylee was sitting on a barstool, upper body sprawled haphazardly across the bar, completely abandoned by her fellow patrons.
Mal ran to her side and checked her quickly for injury before his eyes found the empty bottle of plum wine still gripped in her left hand. Brushing the hair hurriedly from her face, he gave her an insistent shake and called her name.
“Kaylee. Kaylee, bâo bèi...wake up.” She stirred but didn’t wake. Changing tactics, Mal plucked the bottle from her hands, tossed it behind the bar and scooped her up, running somewhat awkwardly out of the bar and toward Serenity. Kaylee was a dead weight in his arms, which made reaching his radio a difficult feat. Finally, never breaking stride, he shifted her so she could be slung over his shoulder and then reached into his coat for his com.
“River.” Mal barked.
“Captain.” Came the emotionless reply. “Are you ready to go? The ship is trying to get away from me. It’s scared. Wants to run.”
“We’re heading toward you now. I’d appreciate it a great deal if you met us halfway because I’m finding it a mite difficult to run for both of our lives.” Mal staggered a little but kept running.
“No need. Serenity will swallow you up too fast for me to do anything about it.” River countered.
She hadn’t finished speaking before Mal heard Serenity’s engines whining ahead. The ship came into view as he reached the top of the hill outside town, which thankfully meant he didn’t have to bother trying to work out what his crazy pilot was saying. Seconds later, he ran up the ramp and into her belly as the hatch closed behind him and they took off into the black.
~*~ END PART ONE
Chinese Translations in order of appearance (courtesy of living_impaired’s journal)
Wǒ ài nǐ, mêilì = I love you, beautiful
Dong ma? = understand?
Hâo ba = okay (reluctant)
Gan tsao = fuck
Goushi! = crap!
Bâo bèi = sweetheart
Rating: R for some sexual situations
Pairing: Mal/Kaylee, brief Kaylee/Simon
Spoilers/Timeline: post-BDM (spoilers for the movie
Disclaimer: What Joss creates, I worship. This is my little offering to the Whedon shrine. I don’t own the ‘verse or anyone in it.
Author’s Thanks: A huge thank you to my beta, earthwhatwere for all her guidance and suggestions. The help she provided was invaluable.
~*~
Simon’s hands were large, strong and incredibly soft. Those hands lifted Kaylee’s shirt over her head and traveled in a firm touch down her back to settle comfortably at her waist. The heat created where the doctor’s palms met her skin made the rest of her burn. The engine room, whirring and humming around them as the ship hit atmo, made the temperature in the room rise a few more degrees as the engine worked extra hard to get Serenity flying faster. He moved his hands to the back of her bra and Kaylee briefly fantasized about what those - precise, healing, talented hands - could do to her. She brought her own rough, grease-stained hands up to grip Simon's strong shoulders, his shirt long since lost to the far side of the engine room. They both begin to sweat with the heat and the effort of their foreplay.
Their coupling was intense and fiery - the result of months of built-up sexual frustration and longing finally set free. Their kisses were long, exploratory and full of want. Simon held her body as close to his as possible and she savored his possessive grip on her body. Kaylee battled her conflicting desire to continue their lovemaking forever and her need to have him fill her right the hell now. If anyone chanced upon them during their tryst, they didn’t notice. Their sense of touch heightened so much as to drown out all of their other senses.
Now, Kaylee hadn’t been remotely virginal since she was 14, when she’d let the neighbor’s boy go “exploring” with her in the woods behind her house. But this--the things Simon's hands were doing--made her blush and tremble like was her first time all over again. Except, thank goodness, without the awkward fumbling and quick finish.
For his part, the good doctor certainly wasn’t shy about sex when it came to actually doing it. He delighted in eliciting pleasurable reactions from her body: a shiver, a moan, an inadvertent thrust of her hips. At a certain point - it was probably when Kaylee turned her lips to his ear and whispered “now, Simon. No more waitin’” - their kisses became more frantic, their touching more frenzied. They were both naked without remembering exactly how they’d gotten that way and on the floor of the engine room atop all of their discarded garments. Once they settled on a tempo they left the rest up to their instincts.
When they’d finished, both spent and breathing hard, Simon held her close, looked directly into her eyes and gave her one last kiss. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it and swallowed thickly instead. After a few seconds, he managed a husky “Wo hen hao, meili.” Kaylee gave him a look that told him that she understood the depth of feeling that lay behind his words. After a time, they got up quietly, redressed (though Simon never could find his shirt) and made their way, hand-in-hand, to the confines of Kaylee’s bunk. They spent the rest of the night conducting their affairs in a more…private arena.
~*~
Nothing in their relationship ever compared to that first night they spent together. That fulfillment both were hoping to feel after their coupling never came. Kaylee realized it first, but the part of her heart that yearned for love and companionship refused to let her acknowledge it. When you got right down to it, they were polar opposites. What drew the two of them together was an attraction to the unknown; a desire to know what it felt like to be something completely different than what they were. The pull was strong, but after the initial sparks flew and faded there was nothing substantial left on which to build a relationship. That didn’t stop them, however, from stubbornly trying for months to do just that. Especially now, watching Zoe haunted and drifting without Wash and feeling the weight of sadness and emptiness that permeated the entire ship, it was better to have someone than no one at all.
Eventually, though, Kaylee realized that she wasn’t getting any happier being with Simon. He was a true gentleman; he chose her, so he stood by her and loved her even though there was no real connection between them. He would never be the one to end it, to let her go. But it clearly hurt him, going through the motions of a loving relationship, just like it was hurting her. Finally, four months after their tryst in the engine room, she screwed up her courage and went to find him in the infirmary.
Simon had just finished his daily monitoring of River and was returning the room to its usual spotless condition. He stopped putting things away when he heard her enter behind him. Kaylee shut the door behind her before she began to speak.
~*~
The conversation was brief but difficult to get through. Mal could tell that much through the glass. He hadn’t meant to bear witness to this; he’d been loading crates into one of the hideaway spaces when Kaylee walked past him on her way to the infirmary. The defeated, determined look on her face and the careful way she was carrying herself told him exactly what she was about to finally do. He’d seen it coming; everyone could feel that things weren’t exactly working out as planned between the two of them.
Mal watched them try to make each other happy for months, watched it never quite click properly. The bewildered despair he saw on little Kaylee’s face when she thought no one was looking pained his heart. But it wasn’t his place to comment. Everybody learns eventually, and as he watched Kaylee place her hand on Simon’s and bow her head to hide the tears, he knew she finally had.
She left the doctor leaning with both hands on the infirmary counter staring sightlessly at his medical supplies. Mal turned his attention back to his original task before she could see him watching. As she passed, he straightened up from storing creates of some manner of illegal material in the hideaway space. The captain pretended not to notice as she quickly brushed both hands across her eyes before looking at him.
“Hey little Kaylee. Got a job we could use your help on day after tomorrow. Chance to get off the ship and go planetside for an afternoon.” He gave her his ‘I’m not asking, I’m telling’ face to make sure he was clear. It was wasted; Kaylee didn’t glance up at him at all.
“Sure Cap’n. Shiny.” Before she was done replying she’d already turned to leave. Mal heard no trace of enthusiasm, just the resigned tone of crew following orders, but it would do for now.
~*~
The next morning Zoe, Jayne and Kaylee stood in the cargo bay with the crates of stolen Alliance foodstuffs and waited for Mal to lay out the plan. River lay face down on the catwalk above the cargo bay above them, letting her hair dangle over the edge.
Mal didn’t even wait until he’d entered the cargo bay before he started giving orders. “Listen up, everyone. Paquin ain’t exactly a fancy place, but it’s civilized enough and we don’t have to worry ‘bout the Alliance mucking up our affairs. All the same, we got a job back on Beaumonde that I’d rather attend to sooner than later. So let’s do our business here quick-like and be ready to shove off by nightfall, dong ma?”
“Uh, Cap’n?” Kaylee questioned. “I know why Zoe and Jayne are comin’ with you on this one, but what exactly you need me for?”
“We got that list you made of stuff needs picking up.” He replied matter-of-factly.
Kaylee looked slightly confused. “Well yeah, but you told me most o’ that stuff’d have to wait until Beaumonde.”
“Changed my mind. I’m the captain. I can do that.” Mal countered. “And you going out with us to handle it all saves us the time of doin’ it after the job’s finished. You know what Serenity needs better’n we do anyway.”
“Hâo ba, Cap’n.” She agreed.
“She ain’t comin, is she?” Jayne gestured upward to where River lay completely motionless.
Following his gaze, Kaylee called out kindly, “River, you stay here with ‘Nara and Simon. We got this job taken care of okay.”
River never moved, but her words reached them clearly. “Wasn’t listening. Don’t care.”
Hiding a smile, Kaylee shouldered a large empty sack and followed Jayne and Zoe off the boat and into Paquin City. Mal tossed a searching look into the empty cargo bay and then back at a departing Kaylee before heading out himself.
~*~
The job was simple enough. Zoe and Mal exchanged goods for payment while Jayne kept watch in case someone decided to try and wander into the middle of their disreputable dealings. Mal always hoped all jobs would go as smooth as this; they even came away with the promise of more work the next time they flew within wave distance.
The dealings did take a bit longer than expected, however. Letting Jayne guide them to the drop point turned out to be a lapse in judgment Mal would be sure never to make again. He really had to stop thinking that Jayne was good for more than an imposing look, a good shot and bedding women.
By the time the three of them approached town again, it was well past sunset. The sight that greeted them when they hit the main street of Paquin City wasn’t the pleasant sereneness of a town winding down for the night. Instead, what they saw was actually a bit panic-inducing.
Townspeople were scattering, leaving their carts and goods behind and fleeing indoors. Some were wailing as they ran, others wore a look of frozen terror as they blindly stumbled for safety. Zoe, forced to stop their transport, drew her rifle and panned the fleeing crowd for the source of the panic. Mal searched the mess of people and grabbed the closest one by the collar as he attempted to run past.
“What the gan tsao is going on around here?” he demanded of the youth he’d detained. Fear had stolen the boy’s voice. Mal gave him a stern shake. “Answer me, gorramnit!”
“They say we got R-R-Reavers coming. Everyone’s runnin’ for underground cover.” Twisting himself free from Mal’s stunned grasp, the boy continued running up the street and disappeared into an herb shop.
“Goushi!” Mal swore as he turned to a stricken-looking Zoe and Jayne. “You two take the mule and go back to the ship. Right now. I’ll find Kaylee.” The two of them nodded and continued driving down the street at a far quicker pace than before.
“Sir!” Zoe called back to him as they drove away.
“Tell River I won’t be long!” He yelled after her.
After they disappeared down the now-empty street, Mal looked around wildly for any sign of Kaylee. Finding nothing, he approached the nearest establishment, intending to go door-to-door until he found his mechanic. He kicked his way into a pawnshop but found it completely deserted. The clothing store next door bore the same result. Door after door and all he found were empty establishments, abandoned in a hurry. He swore to himself, doing his best to shrug off the grip of fear that was trying to do a number on his heart.
“I swear Kaywinnet Lee Frye that when I find you I ain’t never letting you off my gorram boat ever again. Not even if you cry and give me that look o’ yours that resembles a kicked puppy. I’m gonna lock you…” Mal trailed off as he pushed into the local tavern. Kaylee was sitting on a barstool, upper body sprawled haphazardly across the bar, completely abandoned by her fellow patrons.
Mal ran to her side and checked her quickly for injury before his eyes found the empty bottle of plum wine still gripped in her left hand. Brushing the hair hurriedly from her face, he gave her an insistent shake and called her name.
“Kaylee. Kaylee, bâo bèi...wake up.” She stirred but didn’t wake. Changing tactics, Mal plucked the bottle from her hands, tossed it behind the bar and scooped her up, running somewhat awkwardly out of the bar and toward Serenity. Kaylee was a dead weight in his arms, which made reaching his radio a difficult feat. Finally, never breaking stride, he shifted her so she could be slung over his shoulder and then reached into his coat for his com.
“River.” Mal barked.
“Captain.” Came the emotionless reply. “Are you ready to go? The ship is trying to get away from me. It’s scared. Wants to run.”
“We’re heading toward you now. I’d appreciate it a great deal if you met us halfway because I’m finding it a mite difficult to run for both of our lives.” Mal staggered a little but kept running.
“No need. Serenity will swallow you up too fast for me to do anything about it.” River countered.
She hadn’t finished speaking before Mal heard Serenity’s engines whining ahead. The ship came into view as he reached the top of the hill outside town, which thankfully meant he didn’t have to bother trying to work out what his crazy pilot was saying. Seconds later, he ran up the ramp and into her belly as the hatch closed behind him and they took off into the black.
~*~ END PART ONE
Chinese Translations in order of appearance (courtesy of living_impaired’s journal)
Wǒ ài nǐ, mêilì = I love you, beautiful
Dong ma? = understand?
Hâo ba = okay (reluctant)
Gan tsao = fuck
Goushi! = crap!
Bâo bèi = sweetheart