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Thai Food. Supposed to be hot, in a spicy way, that fells even the most adventurous westerners on their first mouthful.
The reality?
Green Curry
From the first day, I've been ordering Green Curry. First with some trepidation - go to Siam, home of spice, and order a curry? But, after a mouthful or two, I have to rate this a barely korma strength. It was green, it was sweet (as I discovered the untranslated last Thai word in "kaeng kiaw waan" was), and it was filled with tomatoes. In this case, disguised tomatoes in an unhealthy unripened green form, that meant I ate them at first, and got fairly ill.
Perhaps it was just Khao San Road? Maybe real green curry in the wildlands away from the tourist routes are hotter?
Barely. Maybe a perky korma, when off the tourist lanes.
Red Curry
Or, as the direct translation from Thai goes, spicy curry. Surely a dish described in Thai as "Spicy" will take my head clean off from this range? well, with some trepidation, I tried it.
Pah.
Kinda weak Madras strength, if you're lucky enough to find somewhere that has prepared it in advance, for locals, and the proprietor can't beat you back fast enough, desparately trying to save the witless Farang from a slow painful chili-burn death. Otherwise, see "Green Curry" above. Oh, and it's full of tomatoes, ho ho ho.
Jungle Curry
The hottest on the menu. So we are told. Now, this was a scarey curry. The second hottest thing we've found in Thailand, comparing to a healthy Madras down the Cowley road. There were a few tears before desert-time, but only when I was eating it. The steel-lined disposal unit travelling companion that I call my girlfriend dispatched it without real difficulty.
Hot & Sour
This was the thing that took us by surprise. A bus stop, in a town with few Farang, and no tourist Farang. Piles of food lined up ready for the lunchtime rush. The proprietor stared at us with disbelief as we pointed to it. "No." she said. Not a warning, a flat refusal to sell us this item. They must not understand.
We insisted. Chilis ran deep in this one. We could feel their presence.
"Pet." she said. After a moments thought, she added, "Hot."
Now we were almost frenzied. Could it be, real Thai food?
The curry was delivered to our table, with a huge mound of rice, and a jug of water. She hovered over us, eyeing the fire-extinguisher that looked like it probably wouldn't work any better than praying for rain might, but provided hope for the scientifically minded.
The verdict? A good Madras, but certainly not vindaloo strength.
We go north, in search of something hotter.
The reality?
Green Curry
From the first day, I've been ordering Green Curry. First with some trepidation - go to Siam, home of spice, and order a curry? But, after a mouthful or two, I have to rate this a barely korma strength. It was green, it was sweet (as I discovered the untranslated last Thai word in "kaeng kiaw waan" was), and it was filled with tomatoes. In this case, disguised tomatoes in an unhealthy unripened green form, that meant I ate them at first, and got fairly ill.
Perhaps it was just Khao San Road? Maybe real green curry in the wildlands away from the tourist routes are hotter?
Barely. Maybe a perky korma, when off the tourist lanes.
Red Curry
Or, as the direct translation from Thai goes, spicy curry. Surely a dish described in Thai as "Spicy" will take my head clean off from this range? well, with some trepidation, I tried it.
Pah.
Kinda weak Madras strength, if you're lucky enough to find somewhere that has prepared it in advance, for locals, and the proprietor can't beat you back fast enough, desparately trying to save the witless Farang from a slow painful chili-burn death. Otherwise, see "Green Curry" above. Oh, and it's full of tomatoes, ho ho ho.
Jungle Curry
The hottest on the menu. So we are told. Now, this was a scarey curry. The second hottest thing we've found in Thailand, comparing to a healthy Madras down the Cowley road. There were a few tears before desert-time, but only when I was eating it. The steel-lined disposal unit travelling companion that I call my girlfriend dispatched it without real difficulty.
Hot & Sour
This was the thing that took us by surprise. A bus stop, in a town with few Farang, and no tourist Farang. Piles of food lined up ready for the lunchtime rush. The proprietor stared at us with disbelief as we pointed to it. "No." she said. Not a warning, a flat refusal to sell us this item. They must not understand.
We insisted. Chilis ran deep in this one. We could feel their presence.
"Pet." she said. After a moments thought, she added, "Hot."
Now we were almost frenzied. Could it be, real Thai food?
The curry was delivered to our table, with a huge mound of rice, and a jug of water. She hovered over us, eyeing the fire-extinguisher that looked like it probably wouldn't work any better than praying for rain might, but provided hope for the scientifically minded.
The verdict? A good Madras, but certainly not vindaloo strength.
We go north, in search of something hotter.