(no subject)
I FRIGGEN HATE IT! I just want to cry. and throw shit. and break the text book. fuck rotational inertia. and i know i shouldnt say that im just so frustrated! it really beats me down.. a nice huge hopeless feeling that i'm way to behind to catch up. and ive been feeling it the whole semester. it sucks to go from easy high school to college, where im not that intelligent, where i dont understand physics. and where it makes a difference when i get sick for a day.
last week: got behind in webassign due to three huge tests.. now im suffering even more in physics because everything built off of that assignment. and i dont know if i'll be able to catch up. my test scores arent good enough to get an A right now, and if webassign was supposed to be an extra boost to my grade.
i hate bad grades. im starting to hate this engineering path. but its not true. i love physics and calculus and CM when i understand it! i just hate this feeling of idiocy that i get when i dont understand things, when everyone else seems to be doing fine-whatever it doesnt even matter what everyone else is doing. i'm supposed to be able to understand this. its my freshman year, these should be the easiest classes of the whole four (seven) years. i'm about to say to hell with the flow chart i'm talking whatever i damn well please next semester.
but i know i won't go through with it. i'll end up taking a large courseload, with early classes.
and i still havnt started my job! i hate this! why couldnt i be an underachiever and get a job that doesnt require me to know anything?? i could easily work in whatever damn office shuffling papers and sitting behind a computer every day. but i decide to work for a ME professor who expects me to in a few weeks (like 3 at most) read a government handbook on fuel cells and show up able to put one together and perform experiments on it.
it all just makes me want to cry and quit. and thats so stupid and i cant do that.
and my sheets are all nasty from being sick and sweating through a fever (which was actually a cool experience.. i mean ive read about it, a fever breaking and the person sweating through it but now i have first hand experience) and i wanted to wash them but never had time. and i dont have money anymore. and i dont know what to do. i guess i just cant do anything and i hate that. no one wants a friend without money... if only because that friend then won't be able to DO anything! and i'm nearly out of the gosh darn box of Kleenex!!! thats ONE DAY! GOOOOOOOOOOOAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
ICH HASSE ES!! KEINE FRIGGEN AHNUNG WAS "ES" IST ABER ICH HAAAASSSSEEEEE ES!!!
ich will friggen weinen!!!
wieso kann niemand es alles besser machen!!! arlaj;sdlfkja;sdlkfj;alskdj;alkdsjl;askdjfl;kj8uq t v8vxc ivxciv r0o