A couple of thoughts. ctg's Philosophy By Question stuff.
hose things in life you thought were really obvious.
But somehow other people miss this/ them. Badly. So badly you wonder how 'sane' they really are. Or whether they ever went to school. Or whether their mum dresses them as they still can't tie their shoe-laces.
Well, you have to wonder don't you? Some of the crap people come out with is just unreal. It's like they've never travelled. Other places do not exist etc etc. Bit worrying eh? That might be your boss...
Bit of therapy here, but it's fun :D
Blocks:1234
Block 1:
a)Why is it that when a psychiatrist ignores their patient and ends up hurting them they can't understand why they are generally hated or become a laughing stock? Aren't they supposed to be experts on that sort of thing?
b)If someone else has a panic attack due to my fashion taste how is that my fault?
c)If you are the one on drugs why do you want me sectioned?
d)'Marry him now, change his ways later.' - Guys & Dolls. You can't love him that much surely? He's not a pet dog.
e) If someone gets beaten up they'll be angry for a bit. It's quite natural. So why are you beating them up for having been beaten up? Who's side are you on? - PTSD thing. All you have to do is leave them alone...
f)Erm, you've been caught. Considered stopping now?
g) If you've stuck stuff up in a public place and left the comment bit open and I start talking to you and asking questions due to genuine interest how is that stalking? We're online, not in your back garden...
h)Well you nicked it from under an f-lock. So it's your fault it's out there, not mine. And how do you know you have the whole story? Could that be why it was under an f-lock?
i)If a person is ill how is abusing them going to help them get better?
j)Just checking, but last I heard theft was illegal. So how is befriending someone and then emotionally blackmailing them into giving you their stuff any different? Surely it's nastier?
k)How does going for an easy target make you big and brave? I never did get that one.
l)If you want someone to like you how is hurting them a good idea?
m)How is making a disabled person homeless a good idea?
n)You spend most of your life spitting hatred at people for stupid reasons, yet are surprised and upset when people growl back?
o)If you find it offensive why are you reading it?
p)If you are thinking of the children why are so many of them bored out of their brains and on drugs?
q)If all I did was ask you out on a date why are you saying I [insert sexcrime of your choice here] 'd you? You might want to see a doctor about that.
r)What part of 'disabled' did you not get?
s)You started a fight and lost. Ever thought the better option would have been to not start said fight?
t)You're wearing next to nothing dear. Of course boys will look at you and comment... Have you ever left the house before?
u)You wasn't sure it was true, so insisted it was and told people. To try and look smart. Was that smart?
v)Much as I appreciate you're vegetarian can you leave my bacon sandwich alone? It does have feelings.
w)Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, yet it's all you understand. Is this a good sign?
x)It's just a tv program, why the drama?
z)If you have not got the skills to get the job why don't you try college?
Block 2:
aa)You don't know how it works, yet turned it off/on anyway?
ab)Since when does you liking it make it compulsory for others to like it? Srsly.
ac)So you hate what's become of the area? And you don't want to help clean up? Have you considered fucking off?
ad)So you didn't know how it worked, said you did, and then made it up for ages once you had the job. And got caught due to you wrecking stuff. Was that wise? Are you really thinking long term?
ae)It's been in every paper, there have been no retractions, and even the govt agree. How is this not real?
af)Your breasts /legs /hair may well be beautiful, but I do have to talk to you afterwards as well. Srsly, can you think a bit? A little bit?
ag)If life is a great big onion why is there so much pain? Chopping an onion makes you cry without your gran dying...
ah)If the same plan has failed 4 times then, well, have you tried actually changing the plan?
ai)If it's really complicated and very required surely hitting it with a hammer was a bit daft?
aj)If they've been thoroughly checked over by the best etc etc and are innocent of the allegation how are you any smarter?
ak)If you have to absolutely positively kill every last mother-fucker in the room maybe it's time to get some air?
al)If you showed someone no mercy and did something truly terrible how do you expect to get any?
am)If you didn't mean to beat that bloke up why did you drink 10 pints with chasers then chase him for 500m because he burped?
an)How is consistently violating someones human rights heroic? Surely doing it by the book is harder, and also morally on a much higher level?
ao)If you said you'd provide a service if paid so much by a certain time, and the person then paid, why is it not done/ completed/ etc etc?
ap)Apartheid fell for a reason, so why the double standards?
aq)If someone has said 'no thank you' that doesn't mean 'yes please'. So why are you saying otherwise?
ar)If it's ok to pay a lady a compliment why did you accuse someone of 27 different things and then beat them round the head with a stick for only doing that? Considered seeing a doctor about that?
as)If life is just a great big onion then why is it more like a series of events linked by other events? With a few people lobbed in to help said events happen? And why is it crap in an omelette?
at)If it's just a game why are you acting like it's the end of the world?
au)If that person has consented to what you did to them why are they now phoning the Police? Considered seeing a doctor about that?
av)If it's called French kissing why is there a shortage of French lasses around here? I don't get that one either.
aw)If you can only think in absolutes and the world is clearly more complicated than that why do you think you're smart? Wasn't the tv volume knob a giveaway? You know, 0 - 10, rather than 0 - 1?
ax)If she's turned you down twice why do you think she's interested?
ay)If she's dumped you and then taken you back 3 times why are you going back? Do you like the pain?
az)You said it was fine. So why the shit-fit?
Block 3:
ba)If a human thinking they're psychic, like Uri Geller for example, is laughable then why have you set the standards so high only a psychic person can acheive it/ them? Is this wise?
bb)If the playground is only for kids then why are you acting like you're in one 30 years on?
bc)If lying is wrong and dangerous and all that why do so many politicians do it? At that kind of level of power safety is obviously an issue.
bd)If banging your head against a brick wall is stupid then why are you doing it?
be)If you don't own the territory then why do you think you do? The Police do exist etc etc.
bf)If you really really really really like someone and they're single and stuffs then why haven't you told them?
bg)Why do you think someone is gay if they don't find you attractive? There are other very obvious reasons why someone might say no. Maybe this presumption has something to do with it?
bh)If you insist men should be gentleman at all times why do you raise your kids to act like utter cunts?
bi)If you have a 'Duty of Care' in your job why are you not upholding it? I never got that one either. Professional suicide that.
bj)<--- Do I need to say it?
bk)<--- Then why are fried chicken burgers from those cheepo shops so good? Srsly.
bl)If managers like their staff to excel then why do they get rid of the decent efficient smart ones?
bm)Why do you find it difficult to believe that someone with a penis thinks about breasts on occasion? It's not like it's all the time...
bn)What? Do you think you're psychic now?
bo)If music be the food of love then why do people need booze to get it awn?
bp)If you've hurt someone in a truly terrible way why are you surprised that they're happy when they get you back? And that they enjoyed getting you back?
bq)Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, and supposedly the highest form of intelligence. If that is the case then why is sarcasm so easy and thermodynamics, astro-physics, or advanced particle theory such a bitch?
br)Why do people who do nothing but listen to gossip think they're so smart? If it were true who'd need University?
bs)If you were so inebriated you could barely tell which way was up then how can you be sure what you saw/ heard was accurate? Do you have the whole story, or just 'drunken' gossip?
bt)If you were so inebriated you could barely tell which way was up then how can you be sure the conclusion you came to was as accurate as the neuro-scientist you seem to have thought you were? - Even drunk shrinks cock up when drunk ;)
bu)If you know that a small bit of information can do a lot of damage why do you only pass on small bits of information when you gossip? Or only learn small bits of information when there are entire fields of subjects out there to learn?
bv)If I have not said it, and someone else has said it, why do you think I've said it?
bw)It's not compulsory to go to nightclubs. Obviously. So why do you think it is?
bx)If the woes in your life have been caused by men/ women how will another one help? And are you familiar with how rebound works?
by)If all you're interested in is getting inebriated why are you surprised that you're feck all use for anything else?
bz)If someone has trouble from their family why are you forcing them back into such a painful environment? Considered seeing a doctor about that?
Block 4:
ca)An electro-shock jab: If the laws of physics say it cannot be done why does a shrink think it can be done? Electrical flow, precision, and how you need insulators to get as precise as some shrinks think they can get. They're actually relying on pure luck, and an electrical burn is brain damage. Cables have rubber on them for a reason innit.
cb)A depression jab: If a person is being abused, and it is causing depression, why are you not stopping the abuse? Ever thought that might cure them?
cc)Have you not considered that you ignoring your patient is what is depressing the hell out of them? And that the fear of electro-shock is contributing to the 'depression illness' you have caused? Just an observation there...
cd)Electrical arcing in the brain: Does this look predictable to you? Check out the other examples of how very unpredictable electrical arcs are. So why do shrinks think they can predict them when the best electrical experts in the world can't? Well, not to the precision required to carry out surgery anyway. Is this why electro-shock never works? Because it's impossible for it to work in the first place? 19th C physicists weren't that great ya know...
ce)If electrical arcing in the brain is not very predictable the why do people start making 'electro-shock' noises when a service user complains about a shrink? Sounds like organised crime to me...
Why computers are better than kids. In simple terms.
۰ If a computer shits itself in public you do not have to apologise to fellow passengers and/ or guests, and then open all the windows.
۰ It's 800 quid a month to raise a kid without 'special medical bills'. As per an article a while back. So that's 18.5p per 4 hours on a 30 day month. A desktop is 4p per 4 hours, and a laptop is 1p per 4 hours. As per E.On's latest gumph, and outside of required repairs.
۰ If a computer gets too old, and gets on your tits due to this, you can dump it without risk of prosecution after about 5 years of ownership...
۰ You're allowed to stick a screwdriver in a computer, and you're allowed to enjoy it.
۰ You can swear in front of a computer.
۰ You can walk around without trousers on in front of a computer.
۰ Computers do not require special food. Just plug it in and off you go.
۰ There is an off-switch with computers.
۰ Modern computers also have decent volume control stuff.
۰ You can play-back music on computers other than Ozric Tentacle burp stuff ;)
۰ Drunk and passed out with the computer on? No problem! :D
۰ Sex with the computer on is also not an issue.
۰ Cats like computers.
۰ Type something random into a computer and you may still get something intelligent out.
۰ Taking delivery of a computer is pretty painless. Although it may well take 9 months to save up to buy it.
۰ You can plug computers into computers without getting arrested.
۰ Locked up in your room perusing porn with just your computer? No problemo :D
۰ If a computer looks ugly you're allowed to jazz it up and add the odd bikini babe ;)