Wow. I notice we share a lot of the same feelings. Most times I appear confident, happy, and carefree toward my friends and my peers, but deep down I have the same fear as you. I'm afraid to truly love and trust anyone because I'm more afraid of losing them.
The hardest thing is learning to overcome that fear. I don't believe it has anything to do with choosing the wrong people, but accepting the people in your life as they are rather than as you want them to be. I think that's the only way to truly be happy.
But sometimes, I know, it's hard to get by when you feel you're alone. In times like that, however, take comfort in the fact that you are not the only one who feels that way.
*hugs* I hope you feel better soon. If you need someone to talk to, I'm only an e-mail away. :)
Oh Christy, I do something similiar. I can be in a relationship with "the wrong type" of people because I am certain of how things will turn out, and because it's harder for me to believe that someone will actually care for me. I don't know if I am afraid of someone caring, as much as I am afraid of someone caring strongly, and me caring back as strongly as they care, and then them leaving.
I've never had the desire to physically purge my negative feelings, but I have had the desire to cut myself for the release...
I hope you feel better soon! Also, even though this side of your personality may seem dark, it isn't that dark at all - I'm sure very many people feel the same way.
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Wow. I notice we share a lot of the same feelings. Most times I appear confident, happy, and carefree toward my friends and my peers, but deep down I have the same fear as you. I'm afraid to truly love and trust anyone because I'm more afraid of losing them.
The hardest thing is learning to overcome that fear. I don't believe it has anything to do with choosing the wrong people, but accepting the people in your life as they are rather than as you want them to be. I think that's the only way to truly be happy.
But sometimes, I know, it's hard to get by when you feel you're alone. In times like that, however, take comfort in the fact that you are not the only one who feels that way.
*hugs* I hope you feel better soon. If you need someone to talk to, I'm only an e-mail away. :)
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It's actually an electronica mix that a dear friend sent to me.
You can download it here and listen. It starts about 20:00 in.
http://www.hybridized.org/sets/?id=228&download=293
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I've never had the desire to physically purge my negative feelings, but I have had the desire to cut myself for the release...
I hope you feel better soon! Also, even though this side of your personality may seem dark, it isn't that dark at all - I'm sure very many people feel the same way.
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