Am I the only one who hates chain restaurants?
I generally make no secret regarding my general dislike of chain restaurants, but I feel like writing a post enumerating the reasons just to get this off my chest.
Basically, it comes down to 4 things:
1) Everything tastes exatly the same, at all of them.
2) They are overpriced.
3) They are all completely lacking in any real ambiance and charm.
4) If there are any with even acceptable wine and beer lists, I have yet to find it.
Now some quasi-chains break rule #4 (and perhaps #1, also), in particular The Yardhouse. But even #2 and #3 apply there. You have to love beer list at the Yardhouse, and the food isn't bad, but it's 110% chain-restaurant ambiance all the way, and it costs a lot.
Whenver I eat out at an Indian restaurant, I always make the joke (while scarfing down large, delicious portions of Saag or Madras) that the entire Unitd States has but one Indian restaurant supplier, and in reality they are all exactly the same. When you open an Indian restaurant, I joke, you contact the Indian Restaurant company, who subsequently sends you pre-printed menus (fill in name, address, and phone number) with word-for-word descriptions of your offerings. They also send you your serving dishes, posters, tapestries to drape randomly from your tiled false ceiling, plus a stack of CDs.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Serioulsy, next time you eat Indian, take careful note of the description under, oh, "Keema Mutter." $10 that it says "An ancient recipe of ground lamb, peas, coriander, and ginger." Try it.
But you know what? I don't care if most Indian restaurants are similar. Why? Becuase the food actually tastes great, the portions are adequate to large, and the prices are good. And even if they use the same suppliers, they tend to not be completely cookie-cutter, are often found off-street in town instead of in a cookie-cutter building near a mall. I like them.
But you know what else? The more mainstream chain restaurants you eat at, the more you realize that regardless of theme, they are vastly more alike than any two Indian restaurants. Again, try this (assuming you patronize them often enough):
Take careful note of the menu at, oh, an ostensibly Mexican chain, Chilis. Then go eat at Applebees. You'll find that apart from a short section or two of the menu that concerns itself with the restaurant's outward theme, the other 80% of the menu is almost exactly the same. You will also invariably pay a lot for the priviledge of eating at one of these lowest common denominator, cookie-cutter establishments.
Now I realize that there are times when, if not impossible, then at least difficult to avoid eating at a chain. And to be honest, there are a few than I can stand more than others. The Ground Round, even though it's expensive for the portions of basic pub fare that you get, at least gets props (in Maine anyway) for trying to maintain a respectable tap list. Olive Garden, if not totally authentic, manages to be different enough from most other chains, and I've had good meals there. Price is still an issue, though, and given the choice, I'll take a nice local Italian place every time (The Villlage Cafe has a great quality/value ratio in Portland).
I've eaten my share of Quiznos and Subway subs, and also my share of Tim Horton's soup/sandwich combos. Apart from these though, there are few exceptions to my "no chains, please" tendency.
When I eat at the Great Lost Bear, I like the fact that their chicken sandwiches come with sometimes truly bizarrely shaped filets, that might not be totally evenly battered. I like the deliberately tacky flea-market atmosphere. I don't care that all of their food didn't come pre-prepared from Sysco, and merely re-heated and covered with the restaurant's own spice mix. I like that they have 54 local beers on tap, and that I can get them in 4oz tasters if I so desire, or in a 2.5L tower! It's real, man!
Last night, I found myself at Ruby Tuesday. Not being that hungry, I opted for the Salad bar, which was fine as far as that goes. My peeve came with the drink menu. It actually wasn't a disaster, though at 6-7 choices, it was rather small. I immediately noticed one of my favorite beers, Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA. Below that, though was one I'd enver tried, Abita Turbo Dog (a dark brown ale). After looking up some reviews via WAP, I decided to order the Abita Turbo Dog.
A few minutes later, I was presented with a bottle (no glass accompanying it) of Dogfish Head 60. I politely informed the waitress that I'd ordered the Abita Turbo Dog, at which point I was told, after she'd inspected the bottle for a moment, that that's what it was. I briefly tried to explain how "Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA and Abita Turbo Dog" were in fact vastly different products, I decided that I didn't want to see a perfectly good bottle of my favorite IPA thrown away, so I told her not to worry about it, but I would like a glass.
"Frosted mug?" "No, just a regular pint glass, no frost" "OK"
And a few minutes later, I was presented with a frosted, frozen pint glass. Sigh.
I hate chain restaurants.
Basically, it comes down to 4 things:
1) Everything tastes exatly the same, at all of them.
2) They are overpriced.
3) They are all completely lacking in any real ambiance and charm.
4) If there are any with even acceptable wine and beer lists, I have yet to find it.
Now some quasi-chains break rule #4 (and perhaps #1, also), in particular The Yardhouse. But even #2 and #3 apply there. You have to love beer list at the Yardhouse, and the food isn't bad, but it's 110% chain-restaurant ambiance all the way, and it costs a lot.
Whenver I eat out at an Indian restaurant, I always make the joke (while scarfing down large, delicious portions of Saag or Madras) that the entire Unitd States has but one Indian restaurant supplier, and in reality they are all exactly the same. When you open an Indian restaurant, I joke, you contact the Indian Restaurant company, who subsequently sends you pre-printed menus (fill in name, address, and phone number) with word-for-word descriptions of your offerings. They also send you your serving dishes, posters, tapestries to drape randomly from your tiled false ceiling, plus a stack of CDs.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Serioulsy, next time you eat Indian, take careful note of the description under, oh, "Keema Mutter." $10 that it says "An ancient recipe of ground lamb, peas, coriander, and ginger." Try it.
But you know what? I don't care if most Indian restaurants are similar. Why? Becuase the food actually tastes great, the portions are adequate to large, and the prices are good. And even if they use the same suppliers, they tend to not be completely cookie-cutter, are often found off-street in town instead of in a cookie-cutter building near a mall. I like them.
But you know what else? The more mainstream chain restaurants you eat at, the more you realize that regardless of theme, they are vastly more alike than any two Indian restaurants. Again, try this (assuming you patronize them often enough):
Take careful note of the menu at, oh, an ostensibly Mexican chain, Chilis. Then go eat at Applebees. You'll find that apart from a short section or two of the menu that concerns itself with the restaurant's outward theme, the other 80% of the menu is almost exactly the same. You will also invariably pay a lot for the priviledge of eating at one of these lowest common denominator, cookie-cutter establishments.
Now I realize that there are times when, if not impossible, then at least difficult to avoid eating at a chain. And to be honest, there are a few than I can stand more than others. The Ground Round, even though it's expensive for the portions of basic pub fare that you get, at least gets props (in Maine anyway) for trying to maintain a respectable tap list. Olive Garden, if not totally authentic, manages to be different enough from most other chains, and I've had good meals there. Price is still an issue, though, and given the choice, I'll take a nice local Italian place every time (The Villlage Cafe has a great quality/value ratio in Portland).
I've eaten my share of Quiznos and Subway subs, and also my share of Tim Horton's soup/sandwich combos. Apart from these though, there are few exceptions to my "no chains, please" tendency.
When I eat at the Great Lost Bear, I like the fact that their chicken sandwiches come with sometimes truly bizarrely shaped filets, that might not be totally evenly battered. I like the deliberately tacky flea-market atmosphere. I don't care that all of their food didn't come pre-prepared from Sysco, and merely re-heated and covered with the restaurant's own spice mix. I like that they have 54 local beers on tap, and that I can get them in 4oz tasters if I so desire, or in a 2.5L tower! It's real, man!
Last night, I found myself at Ruby Tuesday. Not being that hungry, I opted for the Salad bar, which was fine as far as that goes. My peeve came with the drink menu. It actually wasn't a disaster, though at 6-7 choices, it was rather small. I immediately noticed one of my favorite beers, Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA. Below that, though was one I'd enver tried, Abita Turbo Dog (a dark brown ale). After looking up some reviews via WAP, I decided to order the Abita Turbo Dog.
A few minutes later, I was presented with a bottle (no glass accompanying it) of Dogfish Head 60. I politely informed the waitress that I'd ordered the Abita Turbo Dog, at which point I was told, after she'd inspected the bottle for a moment, that that's what it was. I briefly tried to explain how "Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA and Abita Turbo Dog" were in fact vastly different products, I decided that I didn't want to see a perfectly good bottle of my favorite IPA thrown away, so I told her not to worry about it, but I would like a glass.
"Frosted mug?" "No, just a regular pint glass, no frost" "OK"
And a few minutes later, I was presented with a frosted, frozen pint glass. Sigh.
I hate chain restaurants.