My New Beginning
Love: A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
I see the picture clear now, the fog has lifted.
The wool you tried to pull over my eyes was clever.
Yeah you're gifted.
But you forgot to dot some I's, and cross some T's along the way.
I'm better now despite you baby.
I'm stronger these days.
Stronger.
[Chorus:]
I survived the crash.
Survived the burn.
Survived the worst, yeah baby, but I learned.
Survived the lies.
Survived the blues.
Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.
And when you wrote me off like I was doomed.
I survived you.
I can look in the mirror now.
It's been a slow awakening.
Haunted by a heart full of you, couldn't help mistaking.
That you could ever care for anyone.
Anyone but yourself. Hey.
But you would have to have a conscience baby.
Good luck I wish you well.
[Chorus]
I survived the crash.
Survived the burn.
Survived the worst, yeah baby, but I learned.
Survived the lies.
Survived the blues.
Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.
And when you wrote me off like I was doomed.
I survived you.
This heart has been torn in two.
Cut and bruised.
With too many bitter endings.
I'll be damned if I have thoughts of you
Rain on my new beginning.
[Chorus]
I survived the crash.
Survived the burn.
Survived the worst, yeah baby, but I learned.
Survived the lies.
Survived the blues.
Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.
And when you wrote me off like I was doomed.
I survived the crash.
Survived the burn.
Survived the worst, yeah baby, but I learned.
Survived the lies.
Survived the blues.
Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.
And when you wrote me off like I was doomed.
I survived you.
This is in no way directed at one person. This is me expressing who I was in the past, who I have been recently, who I am now, and who I want to be in the future. Many of you would sit and mock me, saying that I am in no position to feel sorry for myself. And that is one statement that I would not argue. I do not, and will not feel sorry for myself. I have lived a life that infront of people, at first glance seems to be easy. But my life, quite similar to many others, hasnt been simple. I am not looking for simpathy, but what I am going to say, needs to be said, to give me some peace of mind.
For seven years I have fought a battle that I cannot win. I torture myself with a little thing called "love". All through my teen years, I have fallen in love with girls that would never give me the time of day. This is because I have always been a sucker for a pretty face. This is also due to my selfish ego, and innability to fall in love with anyone that I do not find attractive. I realize that I am not attractive myself, but it doesn't matter to me. I am a selfish, concieted, superficial pig (otherwise known as a man). Even though I reconize my faults, they are a part of me. I cannot change them. And deep down, I really am not sure that I would want to. Maybe that is just the ego speaking for me, but it doesn't really matter, reguardless. I have a self-imposed disease, and there is no cure. No cure other than what I have finally decided. For years, I have fallen in love with girls and never had that emotion returned. That has burned me worse than anything else in my life, for the simple fact that all I have ever wanted is just to be loved. And it is really funny, actually, considering that I am only held back by the same thing that pushes girls away from me. I am not physically desirable, so I am not an acceptable option for the girls that I desire. All in all, it is my fault that I hurt so bad, but I cannot stop myself from how I feel, so my life is redundant. I fall in love with girls that I cannot date, and I kill myself inside every time I watch those girls fall in love with someone, have sex with someone, or tell me that they are not into dating, but turn around and date someone else right in front of me. Oh, and lets not forget to mention those that dont have the guts to even give me an answer. I consider myself to have OCD (obessive compulsive disorder). I fall in love with girls easily, because I have never felt real love, and have no experience. But by the time I realize that it will never happen, I have become too attached to them to turn back...and by then, I dont want to. So I always end up with a shattered heart, and deflated ego. Simply because I am an idiot. And it has finally driven me to my breaking point. No longer will I imprison myself inside my own head and heart, and no longer will I chain myself to a girl, and allow my life to revolve around her. It's time for a change, and I think this change will be for the better. A new beginning is in order, and I am calling the shots in my life now. To all of those girls, Grace, Sarah, Jenna, Tara, and whoever was in between, if I really loved you, and atleast for one of them (you know who you are), I know i do...I will always love you. But it's time for me to stop obessing, and get on with things. I am freeing myself from the chains that bind me, and maybe...just maybe...if I stop looking for love, it will find me some day. Thank you to everyone that put up with my shit over the years, and to those of you who did not know this about me, but are reading it now, I'm sorry to give you more info than you cared to know. My life starts now...and no one is going to stand in my way as I just...live.
-Chris
I see the picture clear now, the fog has lifted.
The wool you tried to pull over my eyes was clever.
Yeah you're gifted.
But you forgot to dot some I's, and cross some T's along the way.
I'm better now despite you baby.
I'm stronger these days.
Stronger.
[Chorus:]
I survived the crash.
Survived the burn.
Survived the worst, yeah baby, but I learned.
Survived the lies.
Survived the blues.
Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.
And when you wrote me off like I was doomed.
I survived you.
I can look in the mirror now.
It's been a slow awakening.
Haunted by a heart full of you, couldn't help mistaking.
That you could ever care for anyone.
Anyone but yourself. Hey.
But you would have to have a conscience baby.
Good luck I wish you well.
[Chorus]
I survived the crash.
Survived the burn.
Survived the worst, yeah baby, but I learned.
Survived the lies.
Survived the blues.
Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.
And when you wrote me off like I was doomed.
I survived you.
This heart has been torn in two.
Cut and bruised.
With too many bitter endings.
I'll be damned if I have thoughts of you
Rain on my new beginning.
[Chorus]
I survived the crash.
Survived the burn.
Survived the worst, yeah baby, but I learned.
Survived the lies.
Survived the blues.
Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.
And when you wrote me off like I was doomed.
I survived the crash.
Survived the burn.
Survived the worst, yeah baby, but I learned.
Survived the lies.
Survived the blues.
Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.
And when you wrote me off like I was doomed.
I survived you.
This is in no way directed at one person. This is me expressing who I was in the past, who I have been recently, who I am now, and who I want to be in the future. Many of you would sit and mock me, saying that I am in no position to feel sorry for myself. And that is one statement that I would not argue. I do not, and will not feel sorry for myself. I have lived a life that infront of people, at first glance seems to be easy. But my life, quite similar to many others, hasnt been simple. I am not looking for simpathy, but what I am going to say, needs to be said, to give me some peace of mind.
For seven years I have fought a battle that I cannot win. I torture myself with a little thing called "love". All through my teen years, I have fallen in love with girls that would never give me the time of day. This is because I have always been a sucker for a pretty face. This is also due to my selfish ego, and innability to fall in love with anyone that I do not find attractive. I realize that I am not attractive myself, but it doesn't matter to me. I am a selfish, concieted, superficial pig (otherwise known as a man). Even though I reconize my faults, they are a part of me. I cannot change them. And deep down, I really am not sure that I would want to. Maybe that is just the ego speaking for me, but it doesn't really matter, reguardless. I have a self-imposed disease, and there is no cure. No cure other than what I have finally decided. For years, I have fallen in love with girls and never had that emotion returned. That has burned me worse than anything else in my life, for the simple fact that all I have ever wanted is just to be loved. And it is really funny, actually, considering that I am only held back by the same thing that pushes girls away from me. I am not physically desirable, so I am not an acceptable option for the girls that I desire. All in all, it is my fault that I hurt so bad, but I cannot stop myself from how I feel, so my life is redundant. I fall in love with girls that I cannot date, and I kill myself inside every time I watch those girls fall in love with someone, have sex with someone, or tell me that they are not into dating, but turn around and date someone else right in front of me. Oh, and lets not forget to mention those that dont have the guts to even give me an answer. I consider myself to have OCD (obessive compulsive disorder). I fall in love with girls easily, because I have never felt real love, and have no experience. But by the time I realize that it will never happen, I have become too attached to them to turn back...and by then, I dont want to. So I always end up with a shattered heart, and deflated ego. Simply because I am an idiot. And it has finally driven me to my breaking point. No longer will I imprison myself inside my own head and heart, and no longer will I chain myself to a girl, and allow my life to revolve around her. It's time for a change, and I think this change will be for the better. A new beginning is in order, and I am calling the shots in my life now. To all of those girls, Grace, Sarah, Jenna, Tara, and whoever was in between, if I really loved you, and atleast for one of them (you know who you are), I know i do...I will always love you. But it's time for me to stop obessing, and get on with things. I am freeing myself from the chains that bind me, and maybe...just maybe...if I stop looking for love, it will find me some day. Thank you to everyone that put up with my shit over the years, and to those of you who did not know this about me, but are reading it now, I'm sorry to give you more info than you cared to know. My life starts now...and no one is going to stand in my way as I just...live.
-Chris