the problem is that i do not know if i want this child. there are so many things i want to do with my life and having a child will put everything on hold for a very long time. i turn 23 next month. i just really do not know what to do. jess, being a mother herself, puts the child first, but i do not know if i can do that. i know i am being selfish here, but i just do not know what to do anymore.
Your concerns are understandable, completely. I'm not sure how to advise you...this is a choice only you can make for yourself. I can tell you that if you decide not to have the baby, then sooner is better than later. I spent awhile last night reading your LJ...wow, so many locked entries! Are you 100% sure that your relationship is steady enough to bring a baby into it? Trust me, kids change things quickly. Jess is pro-choice, so if want to talk to a woman about it you can. She won't blow up on you or anything.
yeah i have tons of entries. it is a way for me to attempt to keep from going off on people and to keep my sanity on this ship. i know it needs to be soon, but i just do not know where to get one at. i hate being on deployment for this reason. nothing reliable or dependable. as for my relationship...i dont know anymore. i am finding that i am getting annoyed at eric's antics too often and just wish he would act like the 26 year old that he is. sometimes i think that his parents babied him and that is the reason he acts like he is still 16. we pull into guam at the end of the week, and then i can get my test done for my pregnancy. one of my buddies, who i am pretty close to, told me that if eric flips out (since we have decided he is in denial) about the solid reality of me being pregnant, then he wants to protect me from eric. the problem with eric is he has a temper that makes him throw things. it is rather violent, but he has never done anything to me or thrown anything at me either. he always seems to destroy electronic stuff. it
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