Caring about him, wanting to be his friend... it just proves that you take your relationships seriously, and that's to be commended in an age of brief relationships. You shouldn't try to shut the feelings away (not that I'm a therapist or anything)... Just accept them for what they are. Just because the two of you broke up, doesn't mean that you'll immediately stop caring about him, even though you two had your problems.
The fact that he doesn't want to talk to you anymore (except online) most likely means that he's taking the easy way out and being cowardly. Breaking up is hard to do, and being able to be friendly in the aftermath takes courage--the ability to work past discomfort and hurt feelings. All this proves is that you're the better person; but that won't help you 'get over him.'
I haven't gone through a break-up, but it may be something that just takes time. Remember both his good points and his bad, and eventually you won't think of him as much. Or something.
When he and I broke up, I was initially the one who didn't want any contact. I wanted space and I couldn't really deal with being friends at the time. So.. it may be cowardly, but we're doing what we need to do. If we do, or dont, become friends, it's more of a time thing now. I'm just having issues with it.
I don't know just how much this will *help* but -- I was in the same position for a while after breaking up with E. I kept having these rather nostalgic moments of 'gee, wouldn't it be nice if...' and resenting all that romantic crapola that you see all the time on television, magazines, etc.
And then it occurred to me that the nostalgic wants had nothing to do with the PERSON - that I had indeed ended an unhealthy relationship with THAT PERSON - but that it was nothing more than the idea that, at one time, I did indeed have a romantic partner and it had been nice (quite often in the beginning, if not so much later).
I don't know that I have much more for this Dear Abby column, other than hey, zoot suit riot on the cherry. :D :D :D :D ;P
BRIIIIIIIITTTT!!!!!chrychaesaJanuary 5 2007, 05:37:23 UTC
*POUNCE!* Thank you! This made me feel a LOT better! I AM normal!
My mom says hi, by the way! She hasn't heard anything from your neck of the woods in a while (since I haven't heard much from ya-- and it's been ages since I've been on this thing).
Anyway, thank you for your insight! I'm in town until Jan 10th. Contact me? ~Jess
Comments 5
The fact that he doesn't want to talk to you anymore (except online) most likely means that he's taking the easy way out and being cowardly. Breaking up is hard to do, and being able to be friendly in the aftermath takes courage--the ability to work past discomfort and hurt feelings. All this proves is that you're the better person; but that won't help you 'get over him.'
I haven't gone through a break-up, but it may be something that just takes time. Remember both his good points and his bad, and eventually you won't think of him as much. Or something.
*hugs* I'm sorry I don't know what else to say.
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Uhm.
When he and I broke up, I was initially the one who didn't want any contact. I wanted space and I couldn't really deal with being friends at the time. So.. it may be cowardly, but we're doing what we need to do. If we do, or dont, become friends, it's more of a time thing now. I'm just having issues with it.
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And then it occurred to me that the nostalgic wants had nothing to do with the PERSON - that I had indeed ended an unhealthy relationship with THAT PERSON - but that it was nothing more than the idea that, at one time, I did indeed have a romantic partner and it had been nice (quite often in the beginning, if not so much later).
I don't know that I have much more for this Dear Abby column, other than hey, zoot suit riot on the cherry. :D :D :D :D ;P
Reply
My mom says hi, by the way! She hasn't heard anything from your neck of the woods in a while (since I haven't heard much from ya-- and it's been ages since I've been on this thing).
Anyway, thank you for your insight! I'm in town until Jan 10th. Contact me?
~Jess
Reply
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