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[ Private; ]
So he came back after all. I don't know why I didn't expect it, really. It's not as though either of us were ever incapable, or that we've ever really been separated for long.
The last time I fooled myself by saying it was better he wasn't here because this place is damned dangerous. Which it still is. Nothing has changed in that area. But either way I'm not satisfied.
If he's here he's at risk, but if he's there then we're separated.
He's the Al from the other version of Amestris. That part doesn't bother me. Al is still Al, the same as he ever was... I'm not troubled by that, he's still my brother.
It doesn't bother me that we're from different versions of the same world. Maybe it should, but it doesn't.
What bothers me is seeing him in that armour again and for all the wrong reasons. He hasn't known flesh again yet, so I shouldn't feel like our work has gone to waste because I know, in both our worlds, we will find a way to return the steel to flesh. It's happened in my version of things, it has to happen in the other one, too.
So that shouldn't bother me, either. It shouldn't.
But it does.
And worst still there was almost... relief. Ugh. Disgusting. I'd rather he be flesh and blood and bone, but in this place I'm almost, almost glad he isn't. He's safer in that body than the other.
I'm never fucking satisfied. It's never enough. Why the hell isn't it good enough?! Discontent if he's here, unsettled when he's not, happy and concerned when he's flesh and disappointed and relived when he's in armour.
I feel like a damned kid again...
And I will not burden Alfons with this. Or Winry. Or even Al. It's not fair, not to any of them. I won't do it. I prove myself to be a selfish brat enough without adding to it with this. Can't go be too selfish now. No matter how much I want to go over there and cr-- ugh! How fucking pathetic am I. No damn way. Especially not in case she's still over there.
Envy is back too. So much for thinking there was going to be peace and quiet at last. Tch.
...but that reminds me. Hawkeye mentioned an alchemist called Lyra talking to that bastard Kimblee... Does that mean-- hm... I'll have to keep an ear to the ground about that.
And the old man... He's... He and Al--Hmph. Whatever... Makes no damn difference.
---
[ Filtered to Colonel Mustang, Viewable to Lieutenant Hawkeye; ]
Al is in the City now. The Al from your version of things. I'm just informing you as a means of keeping you updated on this stuff, that's all.
Also, Lieutenant Hawkeye mentioned an alchemist called Lyra being in the City. What do you know about this?
---
[ Filtered to Winry; ]
Al's bac--
The Al from your version of things is--
Hey, Winry, did you hear? Al's in the City again.
---
[ Filtered to Alfons; ]
Sorry. I'll fix that cup later, I promise. I haven't forgotten, I promise.
The witch is over, isn't she? Tell her to get out Let me know when she's gone. Her being over makes me uncomfor--
---
[ Filtered to Al; ]
Al, I'm sorry there's so much to take in right now, and I'm avoiding so much but it will make sort of sense with time, I promise.
And I will answer any outstanding questions honestly even if I'm scared to do it.
But more importantly... how are you feeling about things in general? What are your views on the place? Am I anything like the version of me from your version of Amestris, sans the age thing?
---
Are we done being morons with the cats, fucked messed up grammar and all that shit stuff now?
[ooc; Totally assuming that Ed took Al back to Colonel Mustang's old place his place here, please do punt if that's not acceptable /o\;;; Strike-outs are SO not there >>;;
Edit: And he's censoring himself... because Al pointed it out ._.;;; ]
So he came back after all. I don't know why I didn't expect it, really. It's not as though either of us were ever incapable, or that we've ever really been separated for long.
The last time I fooled myself by saying it was better he wasn't here because this place is damned dangerous. Which it still is. Nothing has changed in that area. But either way I'm not satisfied.
If he's here he's at risk, but if he's there then we're separated.
He's the Al from the other version of Amestris. That part doesn't bother me. Al is still Al, the same as he ever was... I'm not troubled by that, he's still my brother.
It doesn't bother me that we're from different versions of the same world. Maybe it should, but it doesn't.
What bothers me is seeing him in that armour again and for all the wrong reasons. He hasn't known flesh again yet, so I shouldn't feel like our work has gone to waste because I know, in both our worlds, we will find a way to return the steel to flesh. It's happened in my version of things, it has to happen in the other one, too.
So that shouldn't bother me, either. It shouldn't.
But it does.
And worst still there was almost... relief. Ugh. Disgusting. I'd rather he be flesh and blood and bone, but in this place I'm almost, almost glad he isn't. He's safer in that body than the other.
I'm never fucking satisfied. It's never enough. Why the hell isn't it good enough?! Discontent if he's here, unsettled when he's not, happy and concerned when he's flesh and disappointed and relived when he's in armour.
I feel like a damned kid again...
And I will not burden Alfons with this. Or Winry. Or even Al. It's not fair, not to any of them. I won't do it. I prove myself to be a selfish brat enough without adding to it with this. Can't go be too selfish now. No matter how much I want to go over there and cr-- ugh! How fucking pathetic am I. No damn way. Especially not in case she's still over there.
Envy is back too. So much for thinking there was going to be peace and quiet at last. Tch.
...but that reminds me. Hawkeye mentioned an alchemist called Lyra talking to that bastard Kimblee... Does that mean-- hm... I'll have to keep an ear to the ground about that.
And the old man... He's... He and Al--Hmph. Whatever... Makes no damn difference.
---
[ Filtered to Colonel Mustang, Viewable to Lieutenant Hawkeye; ]
Al is in the City now. The Al from your version of things. I'm just informing you as a means of keeping you updated on this stuff, that's all.
Also, Lieutenant Hawkeye mentioned an alchemist called Lyra being in the City. What do you know about this?
---
[ Filtered to Winry; ]
Al's bac--
The Al from your version of things is--
Hey, Winry, did you hear? Al's in the City again.
---
[ Filtered to Alfons; ]
Sorry. I'll fix that cup later, I promise. I haven't forgotten, I promise.
The witch is over, isn't she? Tell her to get out Let me know when she's gone. Her being over makes me uncomfor--
---
[ Filtered to Al; ]
Al, I'm sorry there's so much to take in right now, and I'm avoiding so much but it will make sort of sense with time, I promise.
And I will answer any outstanding questions honestly even if I'm scared to do it.
But more importantly... how are you feeling about things in general? What are your views on the place? Am I anything like the version of me from your version of Amestris, sans the age thing?
---
Are we done being morons with the cats, fucked messed up grammar and all that shit stuff now?
[ooc; Totally assuming that Ed took Al back to Colonel Mustang's old place his place here, please do punt if that's not acceptable /o\;;; Strike-outs are SO not there >>;;
Edit: And he's censoring himself... because Al pointed it out ._.;;; ]