When the Stars Fade
Fanfic Title: When The Stars Fade
Author:Chubbycheeks215
Rating:T
Pairing:YamaShi
Chapter: One-shot
Summary: One sided
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It was an out of this world indescribable feeling. Sadly Mirai wasn't sure if it was really a good feeling at all. Her heart felt crushed, stomped on repeatedly and left out on the cold hard ground to bleed out. Yet, it also still beat at a frighteningly rapid pace as he spoke. How could one feel so dejected and broken but still feel love? Still desperately yearn for a fantasy that could never come true. Was this love? Was it obsession? Clearly it didn't seem all too healthy for her either way.
His words felt as if they grasped onto her ankles and coiled tightly around them like shackles as they threw her back and forth. Round and round until both her body and mind felt sick. Queasy even. He could not be hers. From the very beginning Mirai had known that. She would constantly remind herself that he was not hers to take. It became an everyday ritual once she realized she enjoyed his company. That was far more than she ever planned on getting. He was meant to just be an acquaintance, someone she knew and could exchange pleasantries with. Sadly, things escalated for her. She got to know him better, read him like she could anyone else. She was elated after finding out her guesses were correct. Yes, he did liked hats. Yes, he liked old music and the saxophone. Mirai should have stopped it there. Dear god she should have just drew the line there. However she didn't.
Looking back she saw how many chances she had. The countless opportunities to take a step back and call whatever it was quits. She didn't though. So here she was sitting on a park bench alone at night in the middle of December. She watched as the night sky twinkled with stars. The cold breeze stinging her cheeks and numbing her bare fingers as she tapped them along the edge of her seat. Looking up to hold back tears of her heart break, she bit her bottom lip suppressing sobs she felt were soon to come. He had not chosen her in the end. He chose a pretty girl. Someone his league, something she was not. "He could have never been yours anyway Mirai." She whispered to herself. It didn't make the pain any less painful. His words still felt like shackles that tossed her around. Confusing her to no end, yet she never walked away...because she liked him.
She liked the way his voice sound half asleep, the patience he had with her when she was having a difficult time, the way he casually looks away because he was too awkward to make eye contact. There were so many little things that built up into this. This painful ball of whatever that consumed her. Today has to be her goodbye. She could not be a second choice. Wether or not he liked her was not the matter any more. He chose someone else. She could not be a play thing. She refused to stoop as low as his occasional entertainment. Tonight was her goodbye. So she decided, when the dark melted away into the horizon and the sky slowly turned different hues of warmth, she would walk away from that bench and leave behind her feelings for him. To bid farewell to the old her that believed in people again. She would see that girl again one day. One day when the right person came along. Until then, she would tuck her away in her heart, safe from everything saddening, safe from heartbreak. When that day comes to let her out once more she would be stronger. For now though, she would give herself this night. At least until the stars fade.
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Hi guys! It's been quite some time since my last post I know. This oneshot was actually written while I couldn't fall asleep back n December ><. I liked it and I shared it with Butatokki and a very wonderful reader of mine named Yen (Thank you both for you're wonderful comments) but I was hesitant about posting this for many reasons. >< Here it is though! I may change my mind and delete it later ahaha >
Lots of love, Nao
<3